OK Dissers...I really need your help here!

[phorsenuf]

Bear with me, OK.

My brother married a girl several years ago. She already had 2 daughters but custody of one. She could have no contact with the other. Her and my brother had a boy together. After being married for a year or so brother hears thru the grapevine he is cheating on her. Finds out it is true so they split. Then he finds out that she lied on her marriage license and she was never divorced from previous husband. They were supposed to get an annulment but I'm not sure what happened there so nothing was done. Things were messy, she was a witch and would never let him see the kids. He couldn't afford a lawyer and she left with new boyfriend to NY (they were in ND at the time. Brother is in the Air Force).

Fast forward some time and turns out she and brother reconcile and she leaves NY back to ND and now they are in DE. Everything seemed to be going well and then he finds out she's been planning to leave for Alaska to see ex(?) hubby and daughter even though she's not allowed. Then he finds out there is a warrant for her arrest in NY for child endangerment charges. It's a misdomeaner so no extradition.

So the other day they have a big fight and she locks her and all phone extension with her in the bedroom. He picks the lock with a butterknife and they argue some more. She hits him and gives him a black eye. He sees the cop next door and of course he is told to leave the premises. So next thing you know she slaps him with a restraining order. He can't even go to the house so he has to stay in the dorms on base which technically isn't allowed because he already has housing.

Still with me???? Love ya for that!

So here he is, living for now in a dorm while psycho wife has kids at the base house. He plans to go to the courts to get restraining order lifted and hopefully get back home and her out. He also wants to get custody of the kids and somehow get her back to NY so she can be brought up on charges. However this is something military lawyers won't handle. He doesn't really have any money and the lawyers he has contacted want alot. Worth it of course, but he's pretty much broke and we are talking thousands of dollars.

So my great DIS friends can anybody suggest anything at all to help him? There has got to be resources and networks out there. If anybody anywhere can help provide some leads or ideas I (and he) would greatly appreciate it!

This is how you must feel after reading this, huh?

 

[RNMOM]

I would suggest trying the legal aide society

 

[barkley]

have him call legal aide and see if he qualifies for low cost/free attny.
since she is not his legal wife (and legaly may be a bigamist) is there any basis for her to remain in the base housing without him? (thought you had to be military or spouse to be on base)-this needs to be explored because i'm sure she is getting benefits based on their supposed marital status-and the military is pretty good about attaching wages to support a spouse pending a divorce.
have him call his local social services and file a report (hope he's also filed a police report re. the spousal abuse) re. his knowledge of her intent to violate a child protective order (they may do a heads up to the agency in alaska to ensure the father/daughter are aware/can take protective measures)-if he is concerned about any current negligent/dangerous behaviours re. the kids in her custody those should be indicated as well.

last but certainly not least-given her history i think a paternity test would be advisable re 'his son'. if she was cheating a year into the marriage there's the chance that it was going on from day one-and despite your db's feelings for the child there's no point fighting for custody if you have no legal right of parentage.

 

[phorsenuf]

have him call legal aide and see if he qualifies for low cost/free attny.
since she is not his legal wife (and legaly may be a bigamist) is there any basis for her to remain in the base housing without him? (thought you had to be military or spouse to be on base)-this needs to be explored because i'm sure she is getting benefits based on their supposed marital status-and the military is pretty good about attaching wages to support a spouse pending a divorce.
have him call his local social services and file a report (hope he's also filed a police report re. the spousal abuse) re. his knowledge of her intent to violate a child protective order (they may do a heads up to the agency in alaska to ensure the father/daughter are aware/can take protective measures)-if he is concerned about any current negligent/dangerous behaviours re. the kids in her custody those should be indicated as well.

last but certainly not least-given her history i think a paternity test would be advisable re 'his son'. if she was cheating a year into the marriage there's the chance that it was going on from day one-and despite your db's feelings for the child there's no point fighting for custody if you have no legal right of parentage.

I'm waiting on more info about the whole marriage thing cause that's a funky situation. I do like the idea of contacting Alaska and I really hope he files charges of assault against her.
Paternity isn't an issue because he looks alot like dad. Although I do think it would be a good idea but he'd be heartbroken if it wasn't his.
I will look up a legal aid place in his area.
Thanks!

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

no advice, just a hug!! good luck for your brother!!!! and how nice of you to help him out!!!

 

[Alicnwondrln]

someone at my DHs job at a restraining order slapped on him for nothing
women like this use the system and its sad
the man went to court got it lifted and got her out of the house but it all takes time
and its a pain
good luck to him

 

[poohandwendy]

Yeah, he needs to get legal aide and quicklike. She is definitely a high risk of taking off and who knows where she will go?

Seems to me that he has a good chance of getting custody, if she sticks around, given the fact that there is a warrant for her in another state for child endangerment AND she isn't even allowed to see one of her kids. And the bigamy angle.

Wow, what a mess.

Sending out prayers that he can get this straightened out. I really hope he ends this relationship for good this time. She is bad news.

 

[Pop Daddy]

Still with me????

no

 

[lovemygoofy]

Now I don't know much about military law especially AF but make sure your brother is keeping his chain of command aprised of the complete situation because I know in the army when it comes to any kind of domestic assault, a soldier can be dismissed because a certain law/rule about a soldier being able to carry a weapon. I don't know the name of the rule/law nor do I know if it is applied in the AF but also in the army a soldier can be dismissed due to so much family drama because he can be seen as a liability a.e. could loose secret clearance or be willing to be a traitor. Make sure he documents every single thing. I'm suprised that jag didn't advise him on where to go to get help, thats unusual. Of course in the army this stuff goes on all the time, lol. Good luck to him.

 

[Cool-Beans]

I have no help, but for you.

I know some lawyers, but they are hot-shot corporate types...the only thing I've learned, really, is that if you're going to bother fighting you should make sure your lawyer is better than the other guy's. It doesn't always come down to who is right...but who has the better lawyer.

I hope it all works out...what a mess!

 

[phorsenuf]

no

Now why am I not surprised???? LOL

 

[phorsenuf]

Now I don't know much about military law especially AF but make sure your brother is keeping his chain of command aprised of the complete situation because I know in the army when it comes to any kind of domestic assault, a soldier can be dismissed because a certain law/rule about a soldier being able to carry a weapon. I don't know the name of the rule/law nor do I know if it is applied in the AF but also in the army a soldier can be dismissed due to so much family drama because he can be seen as a liability a.e. could loose secret clearance or be willing to be a traitor. Make sure he documents every single thing. I'm suprised that jag didn't advise him on where to go to get help, thats unusual. Of course in the army this stuff goes on all the time, lol. Good luck to him.

He has been keeping his first shirt (that's how he's referred to) aprised of the situation and even he thinks she's a whacko. So thankfully so far he's had support there. I have to ask him if he's been to the JAG office yet and what they reccomend.
The whole thing is just so sad.......

 

[phorsenuf]

bumping for daytime crowd

 

[Cool-Beans]

Another bump...even though you took PlasterCat out of your siggie.

RIP, PlasterCat. You will be missed.

 

[Tricia1972]

What a mess! Just a of support.

To me it sounds like your brother has a great case against this whack job. I hope that he gets those kids out of there safely!

 

[C.Ann]

There's a Father's Rights group that might be of help in NY.. I know there's a chapter in Albany and in the past they have carried some pretty heavy clout..
Maybe you could google it to find the number or address?

Good luck to your brother.. Sounds like he's been through the wringer..

 

[doxdogy]

Have him check with his "first shirt" about legal services that may be available to him through the Air Force. They may have a legal plan that he can use.

 

[phorsenuf]

There's a Father's Rights group that might be of help in NY.. I know there's a chapter in Albany and in the past they have carried some pretty heavy clout..
Maybe you could google it to find the number or address?

Good luck to your brother.. Sounds like he's been through the wringer..

He's in Deleware now but the charges against her are in New York. Would they still be able to help do you think?


On a lighter note, my BIL was very dissapointed when they split up because she's an ex stripper and he felt we lost our Christmas entertainment. LOL

 

[MAKmom]

You need to get your brother a time machine & go back to the day he first meets this woman then tell him to run!

Since time machhines are very expensive & brother has gone back to his sorta wife before I would step back & let him handle this himself. I don't think you can help him.

 

[phorsenuf]

You need to get your brother a time machine & go back to the day he first meets this woman then tell him to run!

Since time machhines are very expensive & brother has gone back to his sorta wife before I would step back & let him handle this himself. I don't think you can help him.

I think I can help him. Since he works funky hours and can't get into his house therefore no access to his computer I can do some research and try to find some avenues for him. I can also provide some moral support and be there for him. We will also make ourselves available to him so if he should get custody of the children and he should deploy the kids can come here to a nice stable enviroment instead of possibly being to shipped off to a not quite with it mother.

And if I could find some plans online for a time machine you can bet I'll be building it for him!