offering your seat up on the bus???

[bicker]

hmmmmm- well that explanation just shut us all up!

Wouldn't that be nice?

 

[maddhatir]

OK lets say we call this one a truce and we will all meet up for the next controversial thread!

group hug???

 

[bicker]

Seeyall there.

 

[Karenj2]

Ok, I know that the OP is trying to let this post die, but I just had to add - why does "chivalry" have to equal "chauvinistic"? I'm a 30+ woman, and I appreciate it when folks open doors, or offer their seats (sometimes I take them up on it, most of the time, I'll turn them down). I *ALSO* do the same - open doors and offer seats. It's just common curtesy, nothing sexist about it.

 

[maddhatir]

Ok, I know that the OP is trying to let this post die, but I just had to add - why does "chivalry" have to equal "chauvinistic"? I'm a 30+ woman, and I appreciate it when folks open doors, or offer their seats (sometimes I take them up on it, most of the time, I'll turn them down). I *ALSO* do the same - open doors and offer seats. It's just common curtesy, nothing sexist about it.

oh no! karen karen karen- wadda ya doin?!

JUST KIDDING- SPEAK UP!

 

[Lewisc]

I'd give up a seat for my wife or daughter. I'd also give up a seat for a person who has an obvious need for a seat: adult with an infant, pregnant women or someone with an obvious disability.

Sorry but I don't think it's necessary or appropriate for all the women to have seats with the remaining seats going to men.

Any person has the option of waiting for the next bus and getting a seat. A woman who boards a full bus is saying she doesn't require a seat and I don't see any reason to offer my seat to a person who has made that decision.

I'd like to ask all of these men who are so proud of the fact that they would not give up a seat or open a door for a lady......... When you date or marry or raise your daughters, are you looking for ladylike qualities? I mean, do you want to date a girl who burps in public and picks her nose, or do you want a ladylike woman who isn't ashamed to be treated like a lady? In my experience most men do. AND in my experience, most of those women are looking for a guy that will hold her door and pull out her chair and even, dare I say it, give up their seat on a bus to another lady.

 

[lucyanna girl]

Those of us who are still ladies take heart, there are still some gentlemen who ride the buses and monorails at WDW. Every time DD and I go I see a lot of rude actions, people who run over others with strollers and wheelchairs purposely, line cutters, and all the others things we all complain about from time to time on these boards. I see men and women turn their heads and ignore the pregnant woman or elderly person trying to hold on while riding a swaying bus. It is hard to believe that everyone who is seated has a hidden handicap.
I also see good manners every time. Men who offer their seat to others. Teenagers who offer to stand. Young women giving their seat to someone who needs it more.
So all of us southern (and Northern) mothers who worked so hard to teach our sons and daughters to do unto others can be proud. If a child is taught good manners it will last a lifetime.
Kindness is not compulsory, but it is wonderful to see.
By the way, DD and I always offer our seats if there is someone who needs it more.

 

[tinker&belle]

The thing that keeps bugging me here is that people keep saying they would give their seat up for a disablilty OR for a Woman, which pretty much is equating one to another. Yes, I understand the chivilary component (and yes, DH opens doors for me and lets me order of the menu first, I AM his wife), but please don't assume as a woman I am not as capable as a man.

 

[sanfran22]

Ya'll want equal rights--you've got them LOL!

Anne

amen to that!!! diablities/issues i have no problem with. but offering to someone because they are a women.....?

 

[DMRick]

another example-- same friend- she had a flat tire in the rain outside of a restaurant a few weeks back. she called a male friend of hers on his cell and asked for help (he was just inside the restaurant) he said no way am i changing a tire in the rain!!! (what a wimp) she had to call another male friend who drove 20 minutes just to help her out-- when he arrived he noticed several men standing by their car clearly seeing my friend was in need of help- but they did not offer- HE WAS FURIOUS! i wont repeat what he called them.

I personally would never expect someone to come out in the rain and change a tire. I especially would not expect a stranger to change my tire in the rain (or in their good clothes, if they had been out to a restaurant). I drive, and realize responsibilities go with that..and the first thing my husband taught me after I got my license, was how to change a tire. The second thing he taught me, was how to call AAA.

I actually realized how old I was this last trip to Disney. So many people offered me a seat (monrail, we drive most everywhere, so I usually get to sit), I figured out I finally look my age! I always said no..I figured they were prob also tired from walking around all day. A short period standing didn't bother me..but if it did, and no one offered, I would wait and get on a less crowded monorail or bus.

 

[maddhatir]

I personally would never expect someone to come out in the rain and change a tire. I especially would not expect a stranger to change my tire in the rain (or in their good clothes, if they had been out to a restaurant). I drive, and realize responsibilities go with that..and the first thing my husband taught me after I got my license, was how to change a tire. The second thing he taught me, was how to call AAA.

well thats just sad that a FRIEND can not even come out and help??? and you say you wouldnt expect it??? isnt that what friends are for-- someone you can call on for help!? especially when HE IS RIGHT INSIDE!!!??? (well he would probably be posting on this board -against- what i am saying- so chalk one up for your side!)

no- i am sorry, its sad when a man cant help out- especially when they see a woman IN THE RAIN struggling to change a tire (OH she tried but could not get it done-- her fix a flat was frozen! yes- it was cold in addition to raining!)

You know what- how about a little experiment! next time you go to disney JUST WATCH and see who OFFERS to give up their seats. just look thats all i am asking- i bet a MAJORITY of men do. or how about in everyday life- just look around you for some of the things i am trying to point out--- see if its there--- well i guess it wont be in the areas that you all live in because you act like it DOESNT EXIST! believe me its still out there.

Just try it-- and maybe everyone can report back on what they see. that would be interesting.

 

[Lewisc]

I understand why your friend is single. I'm not sure why the subject of an ex shoveling her driveway would even come up in a conversation between the two of them. Are they still living in the same house?

I don't know how her "friend" in the restaurant was dressed but if she had taken the time to walk back into the restaurant and ask for help she might have gotten a better response than calling him on her cell phone.

If I saw your friend trying to change her own tire I'd offer to help, but my offer might be to let her use my cell phone to call AAA. I'm a member of AAA and I wouldn't change my own tire in the pouring rain.

If my pants rip should I expect any strange female who happens to be around to sew it for me?

ok- another example-- this weekend we had a huge snowstorm- i was talking to one of my friends -recently divorced- who said her ex would tell her to shovel the driveway becasue he works all day! (of course this kind of behavior is exactly WHY he is her EX!) but i said there is NO WAY my husband would even EXPECT that of me. sure i do help out sometimes and i dont EXPECT him to do it- but he would never expect me to do it. he just tells me to go ahead inside and he will take care of it. this is just the kind of person he is.

another example-- same friend- she had a flat tire in the rain outside of a restaurant a few weeks back. she called a male friend of hers on his cell and asked for help (he was just inside the restaurant) he said no way am i changing a tire in the rain!!! (what a wimp) she had to call another male friend who drove 20 minutes just to help her out-- when he arrived he noticed several men standing by their car clearly seeing my friend was in need of help- but they did not offer- HE WAS FURIOUS! i wont repeat what he called them.

but what most of you are saying is women are just as able as men-- sorry but i still think men should offer to do "gentlemenly" things all of the time.

i am sorry but why would someone (such as myself and a few others) need to keep defending men with good qualities- i am very surprised.

i am also surprised that women react the way they do (by reading some posts) almost as if they are insulted by men being nice.

its sad.

blast away!

 

[Kristi1357]

Ok, I know I should stay away from this thread, but I have a related comment & I can't help myself!

In October, we left DTD on a full bus. I was standing holding my 37 lb. 2 year old on my right hip. I was swaying all over the place holding on with my left arm in the strap hanging from above. Not one single solitary person offered their seat to me! You cannot tell me that every single person on that bus had a hidden medical condition.

I finally said out loud to DH "let's remember this when Zack is older - we don't offer seats to mothers holding toddlers!"

I would also like to add that I have hidden conditions that make standing uncomfortable, but I do not expect a stranger to know that. I have bad knees and also a vertigo/equilibrium problem that is still being treated. In hindsight, we should have waited for the next bus. But honestly, at the time we didn't think of it. I guess it was just the waiting for the bus, the bus arriving, with the 2 year old being tired - we just got on.

We had several other bus encounters that played out the same. BUT, on one bus trip, a very courteous teenager did offer me his seat! (again, I was holding DS) I was very happily surprised. His parents did a wonderful job! I also do not expect an offer of a seat for just me, without a small child. An offer is nice, of course - but I would never expect it.

This trip was the only one in many years in which we did not rent a car (we were trying to make this is more frugal trip). NEVER AGAIN! From now on, renting a car is mandatory! We are not 'bus people!'

 

[DMRick]

Actually, most of my friends WOULD prob offer. However, what I said was, I wouldn't expect it..and actually, I wouldn't ask it. If it was too wet, or too difficult for me, I wouldn't want my friend to get all wet or dirty, and I wouldn't want to disturb their fun evening out. I would go back inside and enjoy conversation with them, while we waited for AAA.

well thats just sad that a FRIEND can not even come out and help??? and you say you wouldnt expect it??? isnt that what friends are for-- someone you can call on for help!? especially when HE IS RIGHT INSIDE!!!??? (well he would probably be posting on this board -against- what i am saying- so chalk one up for your side!)

 

[LSchrow]

piping in.........
of course we offer our seats.
DH won't even sit down unless there's a lot of empties (& he rides the LIRR & NYC subways M-F). then again, he's changed stranger's tires & given jumps in the rain/snow, shovels our elderly neighbors driveways, buys food for the very few homeless in our area (just the kind of guy i would marry! ~ oops, i did!! )
as well, my 21yo DD, 17 DS, & self will ALWAYS get up if there is someone in more need of a seat than ourselves (even the trime i had a broken toe ~ i just held on with both hands & one leg up).

it's just common courtesy (which i've always found prevalent on long island, btw) ~ we can make someone's day a bit brighter, or ride a bit easier, it's worth a few minutes.

and btw, LOTSA kudos to all the ladies & gentlemen that continue to show kindness to strangers!!

 

[mickeyfan2]

I am so proud that my DH will hold a door for me or any women or man. He has pushed out women whose cars are stuck in the snow. Men tend to be stronger. He would help change a tire. That is just being kind, and that is how we like it. DH and could be the first people on the bus and still give up our seats to anybody who we see struggling to stand (man, women, elderly, with a child). I have helped push out guys cars at work. This is not about women's lib, but common courtesy.

 

[DMRick]

And I'm not saying my hubby (believe me, I married the same type of guy as you), my friends or even myself wouldn't do these things. However, I wouldn't expect my friends to, nor would I get mad or think less of them, if someone didn't help me. I could give long lists of "nice" things we and our friends do. But we do them because we want to, because it's nice to do, not because someone would be angry at us if we didn't, or because someone is a certain gender, and it's expected that they are not able to do things for themselves (I'm not talking elderly or handicaped here..that's different from what is being said here). If it was cold and rainy, I wouldn't even ask a friend to leave their meal and come change my tire, in the cold and rain, or expect a stranger getting into their car to do it for me, and be upset if they didn't..and if they tried, I thank them, and let them know I called for help. I would have called a garage or AAA.

piping in.........
of course we offer our seats.
DH won't even sit down unless there's a lot of empties (& he rides the LIRR & NYC subways M-F). then again, he's changed stranger's tires & given jumps in the rain/snow, shovels our elderly neighbors driveways, buys food for the very few homeless in our area (just the kind of guy i would marry! ~ oops, i did!! ):

 

[blitzkrieg048]

I'm sorry about your vertigo problem, if you were standing near me on the bus I would have most certainly given you my seat, that's just the way I am. However I take issue with you expecting someone to give you a seat. I imagine your husband was standing too. I don't know what he was holding but perhaps he could have held your young son and I'm guessing he was holding the stroller? Maybe you caould have swapped. But please don't carry the attitude that you have the right to a seat just b/c you're holding your son. Your right you should have waited for another bus. Just my opinion, I'm sure you will disagree.

 

[Nik's Mom]

And I'm not saying my hubby (believe me, I married the same type of guy as you), my friends or even myself wouldn't do these things. However, I wouldn't expect my friends to, nor would I get mad or think less of them, if someone didn't help me. I could give long lists of "nice" things we and our friends do. But we do them because we want to, because it's nice to do, not because someone would be angry at us if we didn't, or because someone is a certain gender, and it's expected that they are not able to do things for themselves (I'm not talking elderly or handicaped here..that's different from what is being said here). If it was cold and rainy, I wouldn't even ask a friend to leave their meal and come change my tire, in the cold and rain, or expect a stranger getting into their car to do it for me, and be upset if they didn't..and if they tried, I thank them, and let them know I called for help. I would have called a garage or AAA.

Well said. I don't have a problem with men offering their seat, but it would be rude of ME to assume that they should give up their seat because I'm a woman.

 

[Kristi1357]

However I take issue with you expecting someone to give you a seat. I imagine your husband was standing too. I don't know what he was holding but perhaps he could have held your young son and I'm guessing he was holding the stroller? Maybe you caould have swapped. But please don't carry the attitude that you have the right to a seat just b/c you're holding your son. Your right you should have waited for another bus. Just my opinion, I'm sure you will disagree.

Too funny - I knew I should have stayed away!

DH was standing, holding the stroller, shopping bags & diaper bag as well. I thought I had mentioned that, but I guess I forgot. Oops! Of course my DH would have also held DS if he could have. He is very much the gentleman! I also explained that in the whole moment of waiting for the bus and it arriving, we just got on without even thinking that there were not going to be any empty seats. Once on a filled bus, it is nearly impossible for one to back their way out past all the others standing in the aisle behind & in front of you.

Back to the original thread. No, I do not expect anyone to give up their seat for me alone since I am female. Moms with babies - another issue altogether...