offensive word

[wife5080]

I just read that a certain movie is being boycotted for using the word retard. I have always found this word very offensive. It seems more and more people are using it without thinking. Please, if you use this word, jokingly, stop. If your kids call each other ******** correct them. Thank you.

 

[Aliceacc]

I'm right there with you. Any of my high school students who think of using that word in my presence hear it from me!!

My own 3 kids, to the best of my knowledge, have never heard it.

 

[SueM in MN]

Thank you for this.

I've heard the word on Saturday Night Live a few weeks ago when I just had the TV on, not watching it. When it's used on places like that, kids think it's a great word for them to use; in fashion I guess.

 

[MNFootballMommy]

I agree that this word is VERY offensive.

When I used to work for the school district, I would hear kids use it all the time. I would ALWAYS sit my group down as a whole and explain to them why is was not a good choice to use. I pointed out that many of them had friends in that group that had family members that would fall under that 'ugly label' and that it was hurtful and embarassing for them to hear it used in that manner. There are SO many other ways to express ones self...

 

[In a hurry]

I agree. It is offensive, and NOT a word I allow in my home or in my classroom. We also don't allow "idiot." My brother was a down's baby, and my mom heard that word over and over.

 

[perkinsrose]

I get that nails on chalkboard response when i hear it used. My own Dkids as well as my students will get a big explanation/ discussion if it comes up.

 

[Tricia1103]

THANK YOU!!

My brother is mentally handicapped and that drives me CRAZY!!

My mom got a letter from the (county) board of mental retardation and developmental disabilities. The letter stated that they are thinking about removing the "mental retardation" from the name as the word "********" has become a derogatory word. I think it's such a shame that because of people that don't have enough sense to use that word in the way it was intended..and not as an alternative to stupid, etc. that the name of a disability has to be changed.

 

[swald91]

Unfortunately too many adults use the word so loosely-why wouldn't the kids? My kids know we don't like the word. I know most of the time it's not used to be hateful it's just a poor word to use because of what it seems to represent. My daughter came home from school -probably 2nd grade & said it. My husband made her look up the definition & write it many times on a paper not so much as a punishment, but to actually learn the correct meaning. We've had no problems since. You try to teach your kids the right thing-but its tough when others use the word without thinking!

 

[MightyMom]

Thanks for that!

I wish everyone realized it was so offensive.

I was out to dinner with a friend who also has a child with a disability. Her daughter is extremely involved physically and cognitively. While we were leaving we ran into some other women we know who just came from seeing a movie. One woman didn't like the movie and said it was "********". My friend turned to her and said, "Oh, you mean like my daughter?.... because my daughter is mentally ******** and we only use that word as a medical term."

First... silence. Then the woman was tripping all over herself to apologize. I was so uncomfortable because I know that woman personally and I know she would NEVER dream of offending someone. I know she felt horrible.

 

[minkydog]

Thanks for that!

I wish everyone realized it was so offensive.

I was out to dinner with a friend who also has a child with a disability. Her daughter is extremely involved physically and cognitively. While we were leaving we ran into some other women we know who just came from seeing a movie. One woman didn't like the movie and said it was "********". My friend turned to her and said, "Oh, you mean like my daughter?.... because my daughter is mentally ******** and we only use that word as a medical term."

First... silence. Then the woman was tripping all over herself to apologize. I was so uncomfortable because I know that woman personally and I know she would NEVER dream of offending someone. I know she felt horrible.

She deserved every moment of embarrassment, IMO. Any grown woman knows that "********", used in the sense of something being ridiculous or no good, is an off-limits term. Shame, shame on her!

As you can tell, this is a sensitive point with me. My youngest child is severely mentally handicapped and unfortunately, I have heard *both* of my older kids use the word in passing Needless to say, they each got a piece of my mind, and then some. We don't call names of any kind and certainly not "retard".

 

[thomasclan85]

I just read that a certain movie is being boycotted for using the word retard. I have always found this word very offensive. It seems more and more people are using it without thinking. Please, if you use this word, jokingly, stop. If your kids call each other ******** correct them. Thank you.

Thank You! My 21 yr. old daughter is a special needs child and I absolutely hate this word. I hear it all the time in ppl's conversations especially among younger people. I actually heard in the checkout line in WalMart last week. Two little kids were arguing and one of them called the other that word. The mom just laughed at them. I was so disgusted with her. I don't even use it when referencing my daughter's condition. The majority of people that I know with kids like mine say their kids are 'special'. Of course doctors are going to use it but at least it's used properly with them. Thanks again for posting this.

 

[Octoberbabiesrus]

Um wow. Apparently some have personal issues they need to overcome. From Dictionary.com

re·tard Audio Help /rɪˈtɑrd, for 1–3, 5; ˈritɑrd for 4/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ri-tahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-tahrd for 4] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–verb (used with object) 1. to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.
–verb (used without object) 2. to be delayed.
–noun 3. a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.
4. Slang: Disparaging. a. a mentally ******** person.
b. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.


1. Is the litteral meaning of the word. RELAX people. Dont take everything so darn personally.

 

[perkinsrose]

Um wow. Apparently some have personal issues they need to overcome. From Dictionary.com

re·tard Audio Help /rɪˈtɑrd, for 1–3, 5; ˈritɑrd for 4/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ri-tahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-tahrd for 4] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–verb (used with object) 1. to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.
–verb (used without object) 2. to be delayed.
–noun 3. a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.
4. Slang: Disparaging. a. a mentally ******** person.
b. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.


1. Is the litteral meaning of the word. RELAX people. Dont take everything so darn personally.

I can think of MANY words in a standard dictionary with multiple meanings. That doesn't mean within a cultural and social context that it won't offend a certain percentage of the population.

If one is not the kind of person to think about the effects one's choice of words has on others, then I guess there's nothing to be concerned about.

 

[MNFootballMommy]

Um wow. Apparently some have personal issues they need to overcome. From Dictionary.com

re·tard Audio Help /rɪˈtɑrd, for 1–3, 5; ˈritɑrd for 4/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ri-tahrd, for 1–3, 5; ree-tahrd for 4] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–verb (used with object) 1. to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.
–verb (used without object) 2. to be delayed.
–noun 3. a slowing down, diminution, or hindrance, as in a machine.
4. Slang: Disparaging. a. a mentally ******** person.
b. a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.


1. Is the litteral meaning of the word. RELAX people. Dont take everything so darn personally.

#1 MAY be the literal meaning of the word, but that is not how it is being used in 95% of those conversations. I know it and you know it. (Yes, I made up that statistic, but really--that is NOT how it is being used the majority of the time.)

As for 'not taking it personally,' well, that's difficult. See, if you have ever had to defend a friend or family member against such asinine comments then you would know that it IS personal. If you are the parent or family member of a special needs person, then YOU are their advocate--from the day they are born YOU are the one(s) that have to stand up for them. You have to stand up to the doctors and to the public DAILY--because all you hear is negative. They can't do this, they'll never do that, etc. So, to hear that word used so loosely is insulting, dehumanizing and demoralizing. Oh, and personal.

 

[TKERBELL]

delete

 

[LolaCola]

Um wow. Apparently some have compassion, respect and understanding issues they need to overcome.


To paraphrase myself from another thread;


Every single person, parent or not, sets an example for those around them. By tossing this word around, in this flippant way, we are legitimizing it's use, especially to our youth. I do not want to ban the word, as it does have meaning, as in "This chemical may retard the growth of some plants."

But, using it in the slang manner...is asinine. It makes a mockery out of and reduces those in our society who are often least armed to defend themselves against such ridicule, into a punchline. They deserve better than that, and so do we as a society.

 

[melancholywings]

I have not seen the movie. But I will because I don't allow strangers to tell me what I should or shouldn't see, or to dictate what I personally should find offensive. I believe in freedom of speech, even if that freedom can be offensive, or something I may not agree with. So even after seeing it, if I think it's a horrible movie, I'd never say it should be banned.

 

[MNFootballMommy]

I have not seen the movie. But I will because I don't allow strangers to tell me what I should or shouldn't see, or to dictate what I personally should find offensive. I believe in freedom of speech, even if that freedom can be offensive, or something I may not agree with. So even after seeing it, if I think it's a horrible movie, I'd never say it should be banned.

Not one poster in this thread has mentioned that the movie should be banned, as you are implying. Just that the word that the controversy is over is offensive and why they feel it is so.

Perhaps you were reading another thread but accidently posted in this one?

 

[perkinsrose]

I just read that a certain movie is being boycotted for using the word retard. I have always found this word very offensive. It seems more and more people are using it without thinking. Please, if you use this word, jokingly, stop. If your kids call each other ******** correct them. Thank you.

I have not seen the movie. But I will because I don't allow strangers to tell me what I should or shouldn't see, or to dictate what I personally should find offensive. I believe in freedom of speech, even if that freedom can be offensive, or something I may not agree with. So even after seeing it, if I think it's a horrible movie, I'd never say it should be banned.

I don't think anyone was talking about banning. Opening poster suggested others were boycotting--choosing not to see the movie not suggested it be banned like book burning.

I'm a big believer in free speech & freedom of expression but i also try to be empathetic and understand how my words and actions will affect others. I won't see the movie. Not because of one word-but because its not a movie I'm interested in seeing.

I don't let strangers dictate my words or actions--but I am usually interested to hear different opinions, viewpoints & perspectives.

 

[MightyMom]

Um wow. Apparently some have personal issues they need to overcome. From Dictionary.com

1. Is the litteral meaning of the word. RELAX people. Dont take everything so darn personally.

Um wow. Apparently some people have issues with being callous that they need to overcome.

from dictionary.com

cal·lous Audio Help /ˈkæləs/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kal-uhs] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective 1. made hard; hardened.
2. insensitive; indifferent; unsympathetic: They have a callous attitude toward the sufferings of others.
3. having a callus; indurated, as parts of the skin exposed to friction.
–verb (used with object), verb (used without object) 4. to make or become hard or callous.

And I'm not talking about the callous on your feet!

Don't take it personally? Most people who take it personally do so because they have a child with a disability. When it comes to our kids.... we take it personally... any loving parent would. Obviously you aren't blessed with a disabled child.... and if you are.... well..... how sad that you aren't offended by the use of that word.