off topic..should I contact the school?

[PEANUT1]

I have had a few issues with my daughter's first grade teacher. An incident that happened on Friday really pushed me over the edge.

Let me start by saying that this teacher is very strict for 1st grade. She has 3 tests per week and is very stern and not all all what you would think a first grade teacher would be. I do appreciate the fact that my daughter is learning alot and is well ahead of alot of her peers in terms of reading. At back to school night the teacher basically yelled at the parents saying that the kids were bad, loud and a handful. This was after 2 weeks of school My daughter has always been very quiet and shy and this does not apply to her.

Friday was the school's fall party and I volunteered to go in and help. I arrived at 2:15 which is when the party was supposed to start and the kids were not there..I was confused and asked the teacher where they were and her comment was "they are at gym class". The other moms and myself said to her...when are they coming back? She replied that she will go get them but "I need my 40 minute break"...I was floored. These kids get no fun at all in school and she is depriving them of party time because she needs her break.

I went to go get the kids and brought them to the class for the party. I was obviously upset about this. The teacher does not participate in school parties because the moms do all of the work. I don't understand why she was depriving the kids of their party time. SHe had an hour to break while we had the party..

What would you do? The teacher also rolled her eyes and was yelling at the kids alot to be quiet during the party. I feel like I want to meet with her or the school but I am afraid of repercussions for my daughter who is doing so well in school.

Thanks for letting me rant.

 

[Claire&TheBoys]

It definitely sounds like the teacher is not a good fit for a 1st-grade class. My son is in 3rd grade and his 1st and 2nd grade teachers were very easy-going-go-with-the-flow teachers and loved by the whole class.

However, I'm confused as to why the party was scheduled for the time when the class has PE. My son's school has "special area" at the same time every day and it rotates between PE, Music and Art. This year 3rd grade has the last rotation of the day, so he goes to Special Area about 1:05-1:45. So, his class parties are after lunch (due to the late PE, they eat really early, 10:35) before Special Area. Anyway, it seems to me that the room mom should have known that the kids would be at PE at that time and either scheduled it for before or after PE.

I do think the teachers need the time when the kids are at PE/Special Area - my son's teachers have always used that time to return emails, have meetings, grade papers, etc. And in my opinion, school parties are getting to be over the top. I provided some fruit for my son's Fall party last week, but they had 2 crafts and lots of special snacks - the sign up list had a dozen items on it. I think a small snack and maybe some free time (15 min) is sufficient for a "party." I think "deprived" is a pretty strong word - kids are not entitled to have big elaborate parties during school hours. An hour is a long time to have a party during class time. If I were the teacher, I'd be annoyed, too, at a party taking up that much of my teaching time.

As for talking to the teacher or the school, I'd probably leave it alone. It would be hard to talk to the teacher about her classroom management style without criticizing her, and going to the principal would seem like going over her head. I tell my kids that we can't get along with everyone all of the time and there will always be times we have to deal with a situation we don't like and make the best of it.

Good luck to you and your daughter.

 

[PEANUT1]

Thanks...all of the parties were at the same time and my daughters special activites are at that time. I know other kids from different classes left their activities early to go to the party.

I just really feel badly for my daughter. It was such a hard transition going from 1/2 day K to full day 1st grade is hard enough. She tells me all the time that school is no fun this yearmakes me sad. She has alot of years to have strict, hard core teachers. First grade shouldn't be like this.

geez..now I am second guessing even posting this..thinking there is a chance she could see this...ugh.

 

[Claire&TheBoys]

I understand. It's hard. Wait till 3rd grade. I was told multiple times this afternoon that I was mean and strict because I made my son do all his homework.

I wouldn't worry about the teacher seeing this - she's probably not a Disney fan!

 

[dormouse72]

You have to listen to your gut. In first grade, the teacher is also responsible for school being a positive experience and helping kids to develop good educational habits. That is a lot of testing for a first grader. If she sees the kids as "a handful" and "bad", don't you think the kids can tell?

If you see your daughter starting to exhibit signs of distress or anxiety about going to school, then I'd speak to the school guidance counselor. This teacher might be great academically but not a good fit for your child. Maybe she can be moved.

 

[JackJack08]

I agree with the PP...not acceptable in any shape or form. I would go talk to the principal.

 

[olwyngdh]

My DDs first grade teacher had the reputation of being a yeller and being mean and strict. She also gave what most parents thought were a lot of tests. The kids in her class, however, loved her--even though it took a bit of time. They knew what she expected of them and they gave it to her. They knew, when they got it, that they had earned her praise and that she was not just coddling them.

The classroom discipline that she instilled in the kids has done them well since then. Even my bright, talkative (ok, lets be honest, never-shuts-up-or-sits-down) daughter is considered by her 3rd grade teacher to be one of the best behaved children in her class. (I almost keeled over when I was told at the parent/teacher conference Monday that her teacher would love to have a whole classroom of children like her!)

As for the break, teachers need that prep time for a lot of different things, part of which is to unwind a bit. Personally, my definition of H e double hockey-sticks is being locked in a classroom with elementary students.

I would give it a bit more time, keep an eye on things, and maybe talk to the teacher herself if your child is unhappy or afraid of her. She may not realize that her normal manner is not working with your child and will be able to adapt somewhat to make her more comfortable and school more of a positive experience.

 

[crl]

It sounds as though there was some confusion between the moms and the scheduled party time. As a teacher of 2 (we homeschool), I can understand the teacher's need for a break. After being in charge of children all day, she probably needs time to regroup and do some lesson planning and grading. I would hope that if the schools are putting on parties, that they are doing them during the "extras" (PE, art, music) time and not during a regular subject like math or reading.
If you are truly unhappy with the teacher and the lack of fun, and if your DD is having a hard time transitioning have you thought about schooling her yourself? I know unhappiness with the school policies and teachers is what started us thinking about homeschooling. Now my DD is thriving and my younger son is learning right along with her.

 

[PEANUT1]

thanks everyone for your insight. I totally agree that the teacher needs her break I just feel that she could care just a little about the kids too.

My daughter does like school. I ask her all the time about school and how things are going. She says she likes her teacher. She just doesn't like the timer she uses for their math mad minutes.

If I do decide to go into the school, I think I'll meet with the teacher first. I don't want to go above her head and cause more trouble. We are going to Disney next Saturday and I guess I will wait til after that to decide.

 

[krcit]

If your daughter likes the teacher then I don't see the problem I get that she seems a bit crabby but as long as your dd is doing well, I would let it go. There are going to be teachers that you or your dd will not like in her school career so you might as well get used to it. I hope I don't sound harsh...I don't mean to. I can relate to wanting your dd to have a warm and fuzzy teacher..esp in 1st grade but unless the teacher is being unreasonably mean or your dd is having problems I would just wait it out.

 

[gothtinkerbell]

thanks everyone for your insight. I totally agree that the teacher needs her break I just feel that she could care just a little about the kids too.

My daughter does like school. I ask her all the time about school and how things are going. She says she likes her teacher. She just doesn't like the timer she uses for their math mad minutes.

If I do decide to go into the school, I think I'll meet with the teacher first. I don't want to go above her head and cause more trouble. We are going to Disney next Saturday and I guess I will wait til after that to decide.

Unfortunately as much as I hate to say this, those mad math minutes are going to be there till the end of time. Tell your daughter though that the quicker she masters them, most teachers allow the students who have mastered those to do something else during that time, ie read a book, color, etc. But I do agree that you as the parent know your child better than anyone. If you don't think this is a good fit, talk to the teacher and air your concerns. Give it about a week or so. If it isn't better, then go to the principal and guidance counselor.

 

[princessmom29]

First grade is crackdown time at DD's school and I totally agree with it. They are no longer babies and need to learn how to behave in a classroom. I have NO problems with teachers enforcing classroom discipline and not allowing children to run whild. School is NOT romper room and it is NOT the teachers job to coddle the kids. It is her job to teach them. I think way to many parents play the "they're just babies" card. I WANT my DD taught to be quiet, pay attention, do her work, and behave politely in class. I WANT her held accountable for he behavior and not allowed to misbehave because "she's a baby". She is NOT and she knows better! So many of the parents at our school are making similar complaints to what I see here. I have been into the classroom, and what I see is solid dicipline and structure with an emphassi on personal responsibility. It is a GOOD thing!! By first grade it is time for the teacher to teach and not babysit. We have parents complaining that the children are expected to keep track of thier own coats, school suppliesect, and are responsible for turning in homework. Why shouldn't they be??They complain that the teacher isn't more symphetic" to every boo-boo. A paper cut is NOT worthy of a trip to the nurse! Suck it up and move on. I don't get why a teacher that imposes discipline and structure and asks kids to grow up a little is a bad thing????

 

[FlightlessDuck]

The teacher definitely sounds cranky and probably burned out. Yelling at kids to be quiet during a party is a bit much. Maybe teaching wasn't her best career choice.

However, I'm not sure I understand the problem about the party. They have phys ed when they were supposed to have a party? Why was the party scheduled during phys ed? Either the schedule should have been modified for the day or the party should have been later.

 

[PEANUT1]

we had no control over when the party started. It was a time selected by our parent organization. The kids were supposed to leave gym early to come back for the party.

 

[PEANUT1]

First grade is crackdown time at DD's school and I totally agree with it. They are no longer babies and need to learn how to behave in a classroom. I have NO problems with teachers enforcing classroom discipline and not allowing children to run whild. School is NOT romper room and it is NOT the teachers job to coddle the kids. It is her job to teach them. I think way to many parents play the "they're just babies" card. I WANT my DD taught to be quiet, pay attention, do her work, and behave politely in class. I WANT her held accountable for he behavior and not allowed to misbehave because "she's a baby". She is NOT and she knows better! So many of the parents at our school are making similar complaints to what I see here. I have been into the classroom, and what I see is solid dicipline and structure with an emphassi on personal responsibility. It is a GOOD thing!! By first grade it is time for the teacher to teach and not babysit. We have parents complaining that the children are expected to keep track of thier own coats, school suppliesect, and are responsible for turning in homework. Why shouldn't they be??They complain that the teacher isn't more symphetic" to every boo-boo. A paper cut is NOT worthy of a trip to the nurse! Suck it up and move on. I don't get why a teacher that imposes discipline and structure and asks kids to grow up a little is a bad thing????

wow..you really just don't get what I am saying at all. I totally agree with discipline, structure, and rules. My daughter, as a I have been told by every teacher she has ever had is quiet, polite, and respectful because of the way I teach her at home.

My issue is the ATTITUDE of the teacher. The eye rolling at the children, the mean tone that is not constructive. The belief that her "break" time is more important the children's party time..btw..she also gets "break" time during the kids 30 minute lunch period.

I am not the type of mom who expects teachers to be motherly and mushy...I just don't appreciate a teacher who doesn't seem to even like children at all and has NO patience for them at all.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

I've known a lot of elementary teachers on a personal level. The teachers like the ones you're describing are usually jerks in real life, too. I feel for your daughter! I had a first grade teacher like that, too. Can you talk to the principal, maybe she can be moved to another class.

 

[princessmom29]

wow..you really just don't get what I am saying at all. I totally agree with discipline, structure, and rules. My daughter, as a I have been told by every teacher she has ever had is quiet, polite, and respectful because of the way I teach her at home.

My issue is the ATTITUDE of the teacher. The eye rolling at the children, the mean tone that is not constructive. The belief that her "break" time is more important the children's party time..btw..she also gets "break" time during the kids 30 minute lunch period.

I am not the type of mom who expects teachers to be motherly and mushy...I just don't appreciate a teacher who doesn't seem to even like children at all and has NO patience for them at all.

If she is truly yelling then, no that is not ok. Being nasty to kids is not ok either. BUT.... I have seen discriptions like yours where what a parent percieves as yelling anothersees as using a firm tone, and what a preant thinks is a bad attitude another sees as an emphasis on discipline and structure. My point was noly that people percieve things differently. Did you atalk to the other parents there for the party and see what they thought??

 

[luvmy3]

If she is truly yelling then, no that is not ok. Being nasty to kids is not ok either. BUT.... I have seen discriptions like yours where what a parent percieves as yelling anothersees as using a firm tone, and what a preant thinks is a bad attitude another sees as an emphasis on discipline and structure. My point was noly that people percieve things differently. Did you atalk to the other parents there for the party and see what they thought??

MTE. I could see where the teacher may have been annoyed that a party was scheduled during her break time (which usually means they are working on things they can't while giving lessons) especially if the party time was decided by a parent organization and not her personally. I have never heard of such a thing, I have been a room mom for a few years and the teacher has always set the time for her class party
As far as the yelling at them to be quiet at the party, it may be a party but they are still in school, they shouldn't be too wild and crazy and she has every right, and the responsibility to keep them in check in while they are in the classroom. There is a ways she should go about it without screaming and eye rolling but like the pp said, it could be a matter of perspective, I have never had a problem with a strict stern teacher, but I haven't had to deal with a borderline psycho either If you have issues, I would talk to her directly, maybe she was just having a real stressful day and this is not the norm, give it some more time to see if this is a pattern before taking it above her.

 

[eeyorefan74]

This teacher sounds exactly like my DD's first grade teacher. Definitely not someone who's enjoying her job teaching first graders, which is so sad. DD's teacher was all business- very few parties, crafts, etc, and always on the kids' case about something. I hated that it had to be that way, but even with all the discipline, DD actually liked her.

I would advise you to write down these concerns, just in case there's a problem later and you do have to go to her or the principal. You may get to do an evaluation of the teacher at the end of the year, too. I did end up talking to the principal toward the end of the year to ask for someone with a different personality/teaching style for 2nd grade. DD and I both adored her
2nd grade teacher, so hopefully this will be a one year thing for you, too.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

we had no control over when the party started. It was a time selected by our parent organization. The kids were supposed to leave gym early to come back for the party.

Again, I still think this teacher sounds crabby and overbearing, and you might want to talk with per or the principal, but specifically about this party, why does the parent organization have that kind of power in a teacher's classroom?