off topic but please hug your children and tell them you love them today

[2goofycampers]

 

[3gr8kids]

for your family.

 

[CampingChristy]

Thinking of you and yours!

 

[krhewitt]

So very sorry for your loss. Sending prayers to you and your family. Keep talking to people. Vent, whatever it takes to help with your grieving. Take Care.

 

[BigDaddyRog]

Dan....many will think Im trying to be funny with this...but Im not. If you have access to the vehicle that the accident happened in......get a wooden bat(trust me...wood is much more satisfying) and take out some frustrations on that car...just go and beat the living hell out of it...dont stop till you cant swing the bat anymore. Cry....scream...yell....hell, pull a muscle....let it out, get it out, take it out. Im a firm believer in physical therapy...and that will be some real therapy. It wont solve any of lifes problems....it wont bring him back....but it will give you that avenue to release the anger inside of you....anger is much easier to handle than hurt.
Dont give up Dan.......fight it. Your family has already suffered one loss....dont let them lose you as well. US DISers need you....you have given us a new outlook on child rearing...we need you, Dan.......hang in there brother....fight like hell.

 

[DisneyBishops]

Rog that's exactly how I feel. But the truck is gone to Ft. Pierce so can't beat the crap out of that. I may have to find something else to beat the crap out of.

My ins. paid me for Jeff's truck today. Didn't even want the check, just seems like blood money to me.

Anyway one day at a time.

Thanks again for all the positive comments.

 

[We4mickey]

Dan just know that there is not a day that has gone by that we have not thought and prayed for you and your family.

 

[Just Beachy]

Hey, Dan. Just want you to know I'm still thinking of you and your family and praying for you all every day. I can't possibly know what you're going through. Maybe doing something positive with the insurance money would make you feel a little bit better. Like setting up a college fund for your grandkids, or setting up a foundation in Jeff's name. Just a thought.

 

[DisneyBishops]

Might not even deposit the dang check. He had an 03 Ranger and they paid me 10543.00 for it and i didn't even bother to argue with them. anyother time i would be glad to have 10k but it just seems like tainted money.

He graduated from Brevard Community College and so did his sister. She played softball there and he always cooked on the grill at home games. All the players and coaches loved him. Now the school has budgeted a scholarship in his name. They are planting a tree next to the grill and also putting a banner up on the fence with his name on it.

Also the HS he attended is also planting a tree in his honor in the courtyard.

It is so nice to see people doing these things for him.

I sure do miss him dearly and just don't know if it will ever get any easier. Right now i am thinking of selling the moho as camping just won't be the same without him there.

Thanks again for all the kind words.

 

[ftwildernessguy]

Can't tell you what to do and wouldn't want to, Dan, but maybe you will get some comfort out of the motorhome and camping. It may bring back some good memories. I know I like to go into my Dad's workshop whenever I am home and touch his tools. They are right on his workbench where he left them the last time he used them over 10 years ago. It's a good feeling.

 

[AuburnJen92]

Dan, the rest of your family seemed to love camping as much as Jeff. I think selling the Motorhome would be premature right now. The loss is still very fresh and things have calmed down a bit from the chaos of last week. If you would like, we can come up and help you with something if needed. Remember the good times you have had with him camping and use the motorhome to help your grandkids to appreciate the wonderful world of the outdoors. Use his love of camping and animals to pass on to others. I think of you and your family every day and you are on our prayer list at church. I know the days are hard, but my hope is that they will get a tiny bit easier each day to go on with. You are such a wonderful father and grandfather. Jeff didn't get to be the person he was without you. Please keep spreading the good word and teachings.

 

[BigDaddyRog]

I have to agree with Jim & Jen on this....not our place to say, but wait before making any big decisions like selling the moho.....let some time pass....the moho MAY end up being the place you feel CLOSEST to him. Take some time, Dan....try to find your adjusted center. Almost everything has changed....try to keep some of the simple things in your life UNCHANGED.

And you dont have to keep thanking us for kind words....this is YOUR thread...we THANK YOU for letting us be a part of it.

 

[disney4dan]

I agree with everyone about the motorhome, think of it as an equivalent to the 500 pound gorilla in the room that is the stress you all feel right now if that helps to get through this. Let it be the focus, but don't do anything rash that you might regret later.

I have been trying to think of how to say this, but I have read that a part of the healing must be done alone and part must be with the family. Take time to exercise and go for a long walk. Get that fresh air, maybe work out with a punching bag. But stay close to the family as well and you can all work this out together. My son went through a difficult time last year and had a lot of negative thoughts. After spending the night in the ER we learned that you may need to rely on primal instincts to get through sometimes. Think of how much your family needs you right now is probably the strongest motivator you can have, and that should help with the will to go on. Let humor serve a purpose, and think outside of the box.

Peace be with you and your family soon Dan.

PS - It's nice to hear that you live is such a good community that is supportive. I wish you all well.

 

[bunkkinsmom]

I think of you and your family every day. I pray for peace in your heart, knowing that I can't even fathom your pain.

Weird to say to someone I've never met, but I love you brother.

 

[auntie]

Dan, everyone grieves differently and this is all still very raw for you. I know when I lost my daughter, there were things of hers that I couldn't bare to look at. The pain was so bad, it was as if I was reliving her death every time I saw them. At the same time, I couldn't be without them. I had to shut the door to her room. After a time, when I was alone in the house, I'd go in there,..sit and hug her pillow..just so I could smell her scent and feel as if she was still here with me. The very things that are so incredibly painful at this moment, may eventually be of great comfort to you.
Don't make any decisions right now. Don't make any changes just yet. The time will come, and you may well decide you'd rather not use the motorhome. That's fine... there is no right or wrong...especially when it comes to loosing a child. You do what you need to do. You're right, camping will never be the same without your boy...but life will not be the same either Dan. There is the "you" that exsisted before this happened..and the "you" that is now. You are not that same person. It will take you a while to figure out who that is, and how you're gonna get through the rest of your life. Because you HAVE to. You know why. Think of your girls. You don't want them to ever feel as if their lives are less important than your grief for Jeff. Not that you would ever intentionally do so...but this kind of grief..it can eat you alive.

You have friends here, who care about you.
You are never far from our thoughts. As Rog said..this is your thread. Venting..talking out loud, figuring your way through this hell, we're here to listen. Whatever you need.

 

[LORNADUCK]

Dan, I am not very good with putting my thoughts on paper, so I do agree with what everyone is saying. Give it time, don't make any decisions now. I think about your family every day, and thou you might not realize it, I think it is very special that you are sharing your feeling with us, not many people can do that. Don't every feel sorry about it. Again I wish there was something I could do to help you ease the pain.

 

[DisneyBishops]

wish I could just snap my fingers and this would all go away. But that is just not going to happen.

I wish there was something I could do to make it better. But nothing that I can think of. Not that i am thinking real straight right now anyway.

tonight will be 2 weeks and it still doesn't seem real. I will never be the same person I was. I just hope at some point I can laugh and smile again. It will happen but just don't know when.

I think it has helped some just to type on this forum. All of you have some great suggestions. I think i need to do Rog's I just really need to beat the ---- out of something right now.

This is the worst thing i have ever had to deal with. I used to wonder how people dealt with losing a child. Well I still don't know how they do it. I miss Jeff everyday.

We would have been at the Fort today. The weather is just perfect. Everyone there will be having a great time the next few days as the weather is going to stay perfect. I want to go back to the fort someday but just not sure when I can.

 

[des1954]

Dan - Don't make any major decisions about anything for at least 6 months to a year. It is hard enough just trying to adjust to the overwhelming loss you are experiencing.

About the insurance money....I totally understand you not wanting it. I wouldn't want it either. I think I recall reading that Jeff was an animal lover. Why not donate the $$$ to the SPCA or some other animal aide organization? It will help bolster your spirits knowing you have so generously done something in Jeff's name. Just a thought.

 

[Luv2Camp]

Just wanted you to know that our family is still praying for you daily for strength and comfort.

 

[BigDaddyRog]

The insurance money MUST really be a hard issue.....who wants to feel like they've profited from losing their kid. What do you do with money that you wish you didnt have to accept??? Man...Dan.....I wish I had some answers for you. Id be just as lost and confused and angry as you!!!