Odd Solo Experience

[AlexHockey]

Long time reader, frequent solo WDW traveler, first time poster. I am writing about an odd experience on a recent visit that I can't stop thinking about. I think everyone should enjoy solo trips to WDW if they want to, so my intention is more to discuss something very unusual that kind of bothered me, but shouldn't be a concern for most people.

I’ve been to WDW with friends and family many times, but I also enjoyed the place on my own. My work used to send me to Orlando on business every few years, and I’d take the opportunity to add a few solo days to my trip and enjoy the parks. (You can't be that close to the property and NOT go, right?)

In my new role, I don’t get to travel anymore, and I hadn’t been back to WDW for so long I decided to make a special 7-day trip for myself. For the most part, it was such a great experience. I even got to attend F&W for the first time. Toward the end, I converted to an annual pass, promising myself that I’d return at least once in 2015.

On my last afternoon, I decided to finish a day at the Magic Kingdom with a relaxing circle aboard the steam train. A woman and her daughter (around 7 or 8) boarded my row. I was checking my dinner reservation on my phone, and didn’t even notice them until I realized they were watching me, sitting as far away as possible. The mother kept glancing over, holding her daughter very tightly. She half-whispered, “stay close, that man is here by himself.” Now the girl was staring. I heard her very clearly.

I’m usually a friendly guy, but I was so surprised I decided to just ignore them. Then a cast member asked them to slide down the row to make room for more guests. The mother clutched her daughter, trading places, and the girl, taking her mother’s cue started to cling tightly, asking with some obvious distress, “why is that man alone?” “I don’t know, I don’t know,” the mother shook her head, as the train started moving. The whole time, I could not enjoy the view to the right, without catching them from the corner of my eye sneaking awkward glances and whispering. Even with her daughter on the other side, the other gripped her so tightly.

This unwarranted, fearful, and yes, rude, reaction was so surprising I decided not to say anything, though I really wanted to do so. Who knows what their issue was? As a solo traveler, most of the time I just blend in with everyone else. I was dressed unremarkably in shorts and a polo shirt, clean cut, wearing deodorant — but even if I was Quasimodo you don’t behave that way. What did they think I was going to do, on a moving train, in the middle of a theme park, surrounded by thousands of people?

I can’t help but think I had done something wrong, or that the mother had serious issues. I know lots of people fear being “that creepy guy.” And to be fair, that really just doesn’t happen in all my years visiting. I’m sure it wasn’t me… it was them… but the absurdity of it has stuck with me and taken away some of the magic of the trip. To be honest, even with an annual pass, I might not go back solo for a while and that makes me sad.

 

[winthropf]

Don't pay any attention to the ignorant ones. Go on solo trips and be yourself and enjoy it.

I am also male and take 2-3 solo trips a year. While I haven't had an experience quite like yours, I have gotten comments such as "you're by yourself, how sad." It's not sad, I have a great time. So don't let this incident stop you from enjoying the magic.

 

[DaisyDuck001]

OP, I am so sorry to hear that this happened. Any adult, man or woman, has a right to go solo, and that mother was behaving very strangely and inappropriately to think that a man alone must be dangerous just because he is alone. Yes, she is the one with the issues, and you didn't do anything wrong, so if you can, I think the best thing is to try to shrug it off and move on.

At least you got to ride the railroad before they closed it for maintenance. It will be closed during my trip this month.

 

[ericstac]

wow.. I've always gone with my wife and kids but there are times I'm alone and never once thought people would think weird things about me just because I'm alone. you should of acted like you had an invisible friend with you and said "i'm not alone, jimmy is sitting right her next to me" lol..

 

[LaurenT]

there are crazy people in the world. Disney is no exception.
I was by myself in a Panera and sat down at a two top table... the woman next to me clutched her bag and then stuffed it between herself and the wall she was sitting next to. Did she really think I was sitting next to her with my lunch so that I could steal her purse?
It bothered me, but what it did even more than that was made me acutely aware of just what minorities have to deal with on a daily basis. We know society treats them unfairly, but you need a little taste of it to know exactly how it makes you feel. So, think of it as a good thing - an opportunity to see how mean we can be to each other.

 

[disney world dreamer]

my first thought is that maybe she had some horrific experience involving a man and was worried that you were a pedophile.
i mean thats not where my mind would be going if i sat next to a man riding alone but i'm just trying to draw a conclusion based on how you say she reacted to you.

if i sat next to you i'd probably think something like.... you were there with your wife and kids and rented a locker and needed something from it so instead of making everyone go with you you left them quick and are meeting back up with them.
god knows my dad did that a number of times when i was young.

maybe if i was in downtown buffalo and you sat right next to me on the subway i'd be a little leery but at MK where there are soooooo many people including CM's, security, and families i would not be afraid to sit next to a solo rider.

btw i'm considering a solo trip myself for the first time and i'm just not sure what to expect.
could you give me any insight as to what going solo is like? do you find it to get boring not having someone there to turn to whenever you want to talk or do you just meet a ton of new people and strike up conversations? i'm on the shy side but if i happen to hear someone talking about a subject matter i am interested in i tend to be a bit more outgoing.

 

[ToddyLu]

I just feel sorry for the child...what a wacka doodle Mom. My DH was horrified when a 5 year old reached over to his Mom, sitting across from DH on the bus, lifted up her shirt and started breastfeeding. We found out he was five the following day becasue he had on his birthday button. DH believes in breastfeeding and knows how healthy it is but thinks that when you can reach for a cookie it is time to give it up.

We are all different in how we perceive things...it would have been awesome if you could have wiggled your fingers and said " boogie, boogie boogie" or laughed like a maniac and rubbed your hands together. At least they would have moved and you could have enjoyed the ride. People are weird...all of us.

 

[LockShockBarrel]

Saying anything creepy even in a humorous way would have had nothing but a bad ending. If you were to say anything I'd call her out in a loud "excuse me ma'am but you clearly aren't comfortable sitting next to me. It'll make me late but why don't I take the next train because obviously I've done something to make you uncomfortable". She'd be left to either place blame or to brush it off, either way embarrassing herself.

 

[bryanb]

Kudos to you for having restraint. I probably would've said something, and I can't guarantee that it would've been kind. I don't take kindly to being falsely accused or mischaracterized, but ignoring them was probably the best strategy.

Sometimes disturbed and victimized people are the ones who turn around and perpetrate abuse on others around them. It must be disappointing to have experienced this while in a happy place. I'm glad it happened toward the end of your trip, though. And hopefully it won't keep you from enjoying your annual pass!

 

[gracie1]

Long time reader, frequent solo WDW traveler, first time poster. I am writing about an odd experience on a recent visit that I can't stop thinking about. I think everyone should enjoy solo trips to WDW if they want to, so my intention is more to discuss something very unusual that kind of bothered me, but shouldn't be a concern for most people. I’ve been to WDW with friends and family many times, but I also enjoyed the place on my own. My work used to send me to Orlando on business every few years, and I’d take the opportunity to add a few solo days to my trip and enjoy the parks. (You can't be that close to the property and NOT go, right?) In my new role, I don’t get to travel anymore, and I hadn’t been back to WDW for so long I decided to make a special 7-day trip for myself. For the most part, it was such a great experience. I even got to attend F&W for the first time. Toward the end, I converted to an annual pass, promising myself that I’d return at least once in 2015. On my last afternoon, I decided to finish a day at the Magic Kingdom with a relaxing circle aboard the steam train. A woman and her daughter (around 7 or 8) boarded my row. I was checking my dinner reservation on my phone, and didn’t even notice them until I realized they were watching me, sitting as far away as possible. The mother kept glancing over, holding her daughter very tightly. She half-whispered, “stay close, that man is here by himself.” Now the girl was staring. I heard her very clearly. I’m usually a friendly guy, but I was so surprised I decided to just ignore them. Then a cast member asked them to slide down the row to make room for more guests. The mother clutched her daughter, trading places, and the girl, taking her mother’s cue started to cling tightly, asking with some obvious distress, “why is that man alone?” “I don’t know, I don’t know,” the mother shook her head, as the train started moving. The whole time, I could not enjoy the view to the right, without catching them from the corner of my eye sneaking awkward glances and whispering. Even with her daughter on the other side, the other gripped her so tightly. This unwarranted, fearful, and yes, rude, reaction was so surprising I decided not to say anything, though I really wanted to do so. Who knows what their issue was? As a solo traveler, most of the time I just blend in with everyone else. I was dressed unremarkably in shorts and a polo shirt, clean cut, wearing deodorant — but even if I was Quasimodo you don’t behave that way. What did they think I was going to do, on a moving train, in the middle of a theme park, surrounded by thousands of people? I can’t help but think I had done something wrong, or that the mother had serious issues. I know lots of people fear being “that creepy guy.” And to be fair, that really just doesn’t happen in all my years visiting. I’m sure it wasn’t me… it was them… but the absurdity of it has stuck with me and taken away some of the magic of the trip. To be honest, even with an annual pass, I might not go back solo for a while and that makes me sad.

That is so wrong! If I had been on the train and saw that happen I would've had to say something. Some people are so rude it's disgusting. I have many thoughts about this but as I typed them I decided to erase them.
I'm sorry that someone made that comment to you on your vacation.

 

[AlexHockey]

Thanks to everyone for taking the time to read my rant, and for your kind words.

Winthropf - I once had a CM at Boma ask, "Oh, just one? Are you dining lonely?" I thought that was funny because I don't think he was trying to be mean, and probably English wasn't his first language. But really, until this trip I hadn't ever felt self conscious!

DaisyDuck001 - Yes I was really happy to be able to ride the train! I always end my trip with a ride around the Magic Kingdom, ever since my dad made it a family tradition. I'll do that with my kids someday. I would've been disappointed if went later during maintenance.

ericstac and ToddyLu - Too funny! I did think about using humor, but just was to surprised to really think of anything to say at all.

LaurenT - It's interesting, your comment about minorities, because that same thought did occur to me. One of my friends, who is black, always has people tense up around him whether he was walking down the street, eating at a restaurant, or in an elevator. I once asked him whether it made him mad, but at this point he is so used to it that it doesn't faze him. I guess I'm privileged to never have experienced that in my daily life. My Disney experience has no comparison to his real world injustice.

Lock and Bryan and gracie1 - I really appreciate it. I kept wondering if I had done something that I shouldn't have. I even went to the restroom mirror later to see if something was strange about my appearance! I really was mad as I thought about it. In hindsight, I'm glad I didn't try to say anything... I don't think I could've pulled it off with any poise. She definitely knew that I could hear her. It was really rude on top of everything else. But I've decided I won't let that keep me from enjoying the annual pass again!

Disney World Dreamer - I tend to be introverted anyway, so I'm quite happy with the freedom to socialize whenever I want. I have struck up conversations with all sorts of people including Cast Members and guests. During this trip, I chatted with a nice older lady who tried to set me up with her daughter up in Toronto. I met a guy wearing a t-shirt from my college. We did our school cheer in passing, and ended up having a beer at Germany. I met a group of tall Danish ladies who were first time visitors, and we talked about our favorite Disney movies for a half hour. I probably only felt lonely once or twice, but it was fleeting.

 

[com_op_2000]

So sorry you are had this issue. Back before marriage, I made many solo trips to WDW. I never encountered this type of problem.
I agree with PPs, that this is her issue not yours.

 

[DisneyFan2013]

Sounds like the woman made a lot of assumptions. How long had she been watching you to be sure that you were alone and not just separated from your group for the train ride? But even though you were alone, that was no reason for her to act the way she did. I can understand why you might be self-conscious about going to the parks alone in the future, but I'm glad to hear this was an isolated event and I hope you won't let it ruin your fun! Solo trips can be so great! The only time I felt kind of weird was when I was getting off Primeval Whirl and the CM asked, "Where's everyone else? Did they fall off or are they down there waiting for you?" Can't a girl just be in AK alone? lol I just told him that they didn't want to ride because as a female, it was drilled into my head not to tell people that I was traveling alone (although I did tell some people anyway).

 

[EpicBilynn]

That sucks that you've had that experience. I've done solo trips and I've never felt like people had that opinion, but I'm also a lady-chick and as such am seen a very different way. But I've also had the opportunity to meet and converse with solo travelers of the opposite gender and never once had those types of thoughts. In conclusion: that lady was cray cray.

 

[Bushmills]

At that point, I would have looked the mother straight in the eye, and said "How YOU doing?", and finished off with a small wink.

They want crazy? I say, give 'em what they want. At least you'll get some modicum of entertainment by freaking out the rabble. Rabble gets freaked out easily.

In short, and along the lines of the other feedback, have fun, and **** 'em if they can't take a joke. I don't bother anyone, but some people just beg to have their buttons pushed. I consider it a service to humanity.

 

[Closet Disney Junkie]

Can't even imagine what that would have felt like. I've never done the solo trip so I can't sympathize, but I'm certainly no stranger to ppl thinking it's weird that I love Disney so much just bc I don't have kids. I would advise you to "brush it off and ignore it", but I know that's easier said than done. I guess just take comfort in knowing that there are many sane & great individuals who share your love for Disney. Everyone's got their guilty pleasure, so loving something as great and wholesome as Disney shouldn't be something that causes ppl to ostracize you, regardless of whether you're there with ppl or solo. That woman prob deserved a tongue lashing, but you prob did yourself a favor by ignoring it. Reaming her out in the Magic Kingdom in front of her kid prob would have ruined your day even more, regardless of how obviously wrong she was.

So all that being said, just go to the parks, geek out, and "brush it off and ignore it"

 

[LockShockBarrel]

At that point, I would have looked the mother straight in the eye, and said "How YOU doing?", and finished off with a small wink.

They want crazy? I say, give 'em what they want. At least you'll get some modicum of entertainment by freaking out the rabble. Rabble gets freaked out easily.

In short, and along the lines of the other feedback, have fun, and **** 'em if they can't take a joke. I don't bother anyone, but some people just beg to have their buttons pushed. I consider it a service to humanity.

Only because you were the most recent to say it....would you REALLY think it was appropriate to joke like that?

Joking is one thing, but in this situation the woman was obviously uncomfortable and looking for a reason to single OP out. Winking, making a jokingly lewd comment, making any kind of physical gesture would have given her any easy reason to flip out. Then you're left with trying to say "But it was a just a joke, I wasn't actually going to do anything/touch her/ I wasn't actually propositioning her". I mean really let's think before we speak.

 

[Sir William]

To my knowledge I've never had anyone make this kind of comment, though I've noticed that if you're solo, you get a lot of "how sad" looks or comments based on assumptions no one can have a good time by themselves.

 

[LBIJim]

The woman and kid CHOSE the row you were already sitting in. If she was so uncomfortable after sitting down, why didn't SHE move? I may have said a few random things out loud while the train was in motion to freak her out. Not to her, just speaking into the air.

You said you intended to take a complete circuit ride on the train. Did the whacko woman get off at the next stop?

 

[SueDonym3]

Yup. She was rude- good suggestions from other posters but all depends on your comfort level and the situation itself. I usually think of 3 brilliant comebacks long after I have been insulted. And too late to use them! I have not had this experience but my first solo experiences were while I separated from family while on a trip. I realized that no one cared about my status and if they did I did not care...I have maintained that attitude since and I love my solo time at WDW!