Odd kid's birthday party invitation

[nw6675]

I am probably being petty, but DD10 just got a printed birthday party invitation for the middle August. However, it had a hand written note from the mother at the bottom asking for money so she could get a bigger gift the child wanted.

We are not related to her. We also understand not wanting more trinkets, toys, etc., but this just seemed odd. What would you do? Give the $ or a gift anyway?

 

[barkley]

and i thought the one my kid got back in the day for a pizza and bowling that read 'pizza in excess of 2 slices per guest will be charged at x dollars per slice' was strange (why not just announce to the kids at the party-'o.k. everyone gets 2 pieces each' and just plate it up that way?).

i dunno on your situation, how does this work-do you provide money ahead of time or bring a card and mom tells kid after the fact if enough has been collected? seems odd.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

That does seem odd and also inappropriate. Sometimes these big kids' birthday parties just seem like giant gift grabs. The more people they invite, the more gifts they get. I would do what makes you feel comfortable. Does the mom want the money before the party so she can have the big gift there? Or does she want people to bring the money to reimburse her? It also seems like the mom could ditch the party and use the money for the gift. If the child is 10, they are old enough to know that sometimes we have to make choices and that we can't always have everything we want. They could be given the choice of a party and a smaller gift, or no party and a bigger gift. I suspect the kid will want the gift. In any case, it's not the guests' problem to help her afford her child's birthday present.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I am probably being petty, but DD10 just got a printed birthday party invitation for the middle August. However, it had a hand written note from the mother at the bottom asking for money so she could get a bigger gift the child wanted.

We are not related to her. We also understand not wanting more trinkets, toys, etc., but this just seemed odd. What would you do? Give the $ or a gift anyway?

I’d give both the money and a gift. I’d ask Mom what the big gift was that her child wanted and if it was under $200-$300 I’d go ahead and buy it myself to ensure the kiddo would get it. Then I’d ask Mom if there was a college fund I could contribute to.

No, I’m kidding! I would decline the invitation. My kid would have a super duper important trip to the zoo planned for that day.

 

[mjkacmom]

I think it’s odd to send out a kid’s birthday invitation 2 months in advance, most will put it aside and forget about it.

 

[_19disnA]

I think it is tacky of the mom to ask you to give money to help pay for some gift they apparently can't afford on their own. That fact you aren't related also makes it sound like a gift grab someone else mentioned. Clearly, they will have to spend on food/snacks at the party. Are you also expected to provide a gift since this typically what is expected if a child is invited to someone's birthday party? I would decline the invite and then you don't have to deal with the whole money/gift issue.

I agree as mentioned above that someone who is 10 yrs old should have a basic understanding of having to make choices and you don't always get what you want for any number of reasons. Asking party guests to solve that issue for them is just a very awkward situation.

 

[nw6675]

I think it’s odd to send out a kid’s birthday invitation 2 months in advance, most will put it aside and forget about it.

DH and I thought the same...but joked maybe it was so people could save up to give her money

 

[BrianL]

I just thought based on the title that it was an invitation to an "odd kid's" birthday party.

Don't worry, I probably would've been that odd kid!

 

[luvsvacation]

I’ve been hearing about these new kids parties called 5 dollar parties. The idea is that each kid brings 5 dollars to the birthday kid instead of a gift. I actually think it’s a great idea because 5 dollars is far less than we’d typically spend on a gift and it means far less “junk” gifts. When my kids were little I hated both sides of the gift giving at kids parties. I hated walking the isles trying to find something to give (who knows what a kid already has or really even like unless it’s like their best friend) and I hated my kids getting tons of stuff. I’m assuming this new kind of party is what the mom means. If she truly wants you to donate money for her gift to her child then that is all kinds of weird! It’s also super weird to give out the invitation so early!

 

[TwoMisfits]

I am probably being petty, but DD10 just got a printed birthday party invitation for the middle August. However, it had a hand written note from the mother at the bottom asking for money so she could get a bigger gift the child wanted.

We are not related to her. We also understand not wanting more trinkets, toys, etc., but this just seemed odd. What would you do? Give the $ or a gift anyway?

Since I like to stay drama free, if my kid wanted to go, I'd buy a card and put a check or cash for $20 in.

If my kid didn't want to go, I'd decline.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I just thought based on the title that it was an invitation to an "odd kid's" birthday party.

Don't worry, I probably would've been that odd kid!

 

[ronandannette]

I’d give both the money and a gift. I’d ask Mom what the big gift was that her child wanted and if it was under $200-$300 I’d go ahead and buy it myself to ensure the kiddo would get it. Then I’d ask Mom if there was a college fund I could contribute to.

No, I’m kidding! I would decline the invitation. My kid would have a super duper important trip to the zoo planned for that day.

No college fund contribution necessary but my DS turns 25 in October and he could use a new timing chain for his car. Canadian cash or e-mail transfer please, and thank you in advance for your support.

Since I like to stay drama free, if my kid wanted to go, I'd buy a card and put a check or cash for $20 in.

If my kid didn't want to go, I'd decline.

All of this, exactly.

 

[easyas123]

My kid would have a super duper important trip to the zoo planned for that day.

Agreed -

 

[Mysterian]

I am probably being petty, but DD10 just got a printed birthday party invitation for the middle August. However, it had a hand written note from the mother at the bottom asking for money so she could get a bigger gift the child wanted.

We are not related to her. We also understand not wanting more trinkets, toys, etc., but this just seemed odd. What would you do? Give the $ or a gift anyway?

Was this a classmate? If so, did every classmate get one of these cards? Did the mom even mention like a particular amount of money? I'm thinking if multiple parents fork over random amounts of money, what if Mom just buys something for $25 and uses the rest for gas or a little Kahlua.

 

[Skippy918]

Asking for money on a kid party invite is really ballsy and rude. I’d decline going or get just a regular gift to bring.

 

[nw6675]

Was this a classmate? If so, did every classmate get one of these cards? Did the mom even mention like a particular amount of money? I'm thinking if multiple parents fork over random amounts of money, what if Mom just buys something for $25 and uses the rest for gas or a little Kahlua.

No, not a class situation. A specific amount was not requested, just "funds." I thought the same on the mom getting a little bonus.

It is the same child who came over close to Christmas and asked DD what we were getting her and implied an American Girl would be ok. Um, nothing and no.

DD said she is ok with skipping the party so that will likely be the answer for us.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I just thought based on the title that it was an invitation to an "odd kid's" birthday party.

Don't worry, I probably would've been that odd kid!

That’s how I first read it, too. Hugs!

 

[dez1978]

I’ve been hearing about these new kids parties called 5 dollar parties. The idea is that each kid brings 5 dollars to the birthday kid instead of a gift. I actually think it’s a great idea because 5 dollars is far less than we’d typically spend on a gift and it means far less “junk” gifts. When my kids were little I hated both sides of the gift giving at kids parties. I hated walking the isles trying to find something to give (who knows what a kid already has or really even like unless it’s like their best friend) and I hated my kids getting tons of stuff. I’m assuming this new kind of party is what the mom means. If she truly wants you to donate money for her gift to her child then that is all kinds of weird! It’s also super weird to give out the invitation so early!

I actually love this idea bc I feel the same. But I'd be too worried everyone would call me tacky to actually do it lol

 

[TipsyTraveler]

No, not a class situation. A specific amount was not requested, just "funds." I thought the same on the mom getting a little bonus.

It is the same child who came over close to Christmas and asked DD what we were getting her and implied an American Girl would be ok. Um, nothing and no.

DD said she is ok with skipping the party so that will likely be the answer for us.

What amount are they requesting?

 

[Boopuff]

I guess I'm just old fashioned, but I just don't understand all this "money" grabbing, birthday, baby shower and weddings. It's just so sad. My kids always had small parties (best friends only) we never invited the entire class and the kids genuinely liked the kids that came to the party (and we didn't get a ton of unwanted 'stuff')