Odd kid's birthday party invitation

[PollyannaMom]

That is really weird!

If the kid was asking for a particular present that was "group gift" sized, I think the thing to do would be to have one of the other invitees contact people and ask if they wanted to go in on it. That way the kid gets his wish and people who don't want to choose their own gift don't have to.

And normally, I would think that was a long lead time on a birthday invite, but summers are really busy, so i kind of get it.

 

[kymom99]

I don't know what old fashioned means in this case but I am almost 50 and remember going to classmates parties when I was in grade school, this isn't some new concept.



OP, I think the mother has a great point, but IMO the only people that she should tell that to are people who specifically ask her what to give, she shouldn't put in a note to everyone. It's considered poor etiquette to mention gifts in an invitation so it comes across as a little tacky.
My kids always gave cash to classmates at that age vs an actual gift. It was just easier than trying to figure out what they might like.

Agreed. If someone asked I might say well she is saving for something so an Amazon gc would be great!

 

[luvnwdwgal]

That’s just weird. I’d bring a gift like you normally would and so be it.

 

[MamaLema]

I would decline the invitation

 

[HopperFan]

Gift requirements and expectations have really gotten out of control, and this is an example. I remember when birthday parties were to celebrate a child, gather their family and friends, have some sweet treats, play games or activities and maybe take a small goodie bag home. People brought gifts that they may have taken great care in choosing/wrapping. The kids sat around and were excited to see the gifts opened. The birthday child was just as excited about a Barbie Doll as they were a Barbie House. Ahhh, the good old days.

 

[MamaMermaid]

Since I like to stay drama free, if my kid wanted to go, I'd buy a card and put a check or cash for $20 in.

If my kid didn't want to go, I'd decline.

This would be my method as well. Like, I get what mom is trying to do but it's tacky and rude...

 

[NannyBeBe]

This mother had an entire year to save money for her child's birthday gift. I would ignore the note and take whatever gift I felt was appropriate.

 

[mjkacmom]

I also think it's interesting how different areas have different norms. Growing up, we didn't have birthday parties where we invited classmates or friends. My cousins did not have birthday parties either, neither did my close friends growing up (so it's not that I just wasn't invited! - or was it???) Celebrations of that sort are reserved for family time. We are probably the oddballs but it is weird for me to see this in real life rather than occurring in the movies.

In this day and age, not everyone lives close to family. My kids never had cousins living in the same state. Friend parties are huge here, I used to buy stacks of target gift cards to have on hand for gifts.

 

[mjkacmom]

Gift requirements and expectations have really gotten out of control, and this is an example. I remember when birthday parties were to celebrate a child, gather their family and friends, have some sweet treats, play games or activities and maybe take a small goodie bag home. People brought gifts that they may have taken great care in choosing/wrapping. The kids sat around and were excited to see the gifts opened. The birthday child was just as excited about a Barbie Doll as they were a Barbie House. Ahhh, the good old days.

My youngest are 19, presents weren’t opened at parties here.

 

[HopperFan]

My youngest are 19, presents weren’t opened at parties here.

My youngest is 29, good old days I guess. Question: Did children then write a thank you note to each person to thank them for the XXX gift? Usually when they open in person they verbally thank that person for the gift.


I avoid any birthday parties now, I find them depressing. Last one I went to was DH nephew's child. When we entered the gift was taken away. Then we were shown a table for us to fill out our own thank you note. No surprise as they did the same for a wedding shower. I guess the reason we didn't get a thank you for their nice wedding gift and us traveling out of state was because we never found the table to write our own thank you note.

 

[mjkacmom]

My youngest is 29, good old days I guess. Question: Did children then write a thank you note to each person to thank them for the XXX gift? Usually when they open in person they verbally thank that person for the gift.


I avoid any birthday parties now, I find them depressing. Last one I went to was DH nephew's child. When we entered the gift was taken away. Then we were shown a table for us to fill out our own thank you note. No surprise as they did the same for a wedding shower. I guess the reason we didn't get a thank you for their nice wedding gift and us traveling out of state was because we never found the table to write our own thank you note.

My kids wrote thank you notes, after the party they would open gifts and I’d write down who gave what, and they couldn’t use the gift until they wrote the note. I remember many would put a generic note on the favor.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Then we were shown a table for us to fill out our own thank you note. No surprise as they did the same for a wedding shower. I guess the reason we didn't get a thank you for their nice wedding gift and us traveling out of state was because we never found the table to write our own thank you note.

Geez that's thoughtless. I've had where I addressed my own thank you note for a bridal shower as in I filled out the envelope that it would be mailed in with my name and address and that I think was fine although it isn't as if the bride didn't have our addresses considering we had gotten the save the date, wedding invite and bridal shower invite but at least I wasn't saying thank you to myself

 

[DLgal]

You'd think they could just skip throwing a big party so they could afford to buy the big gift.

 

[Genie+]

I can see how it looks tacky. Honestly though it would make my life simpler. A card with $10 or $20, boom. Done!

Was the invite given last week of school? Maybe that was why it was so early.

I’d cringe more at getting an invite with a 2 pizza slice limit, lol. In that case maybe the parents need a better strategy. If anybody asks for #3, just them they need to save room for THE CAKE

 

[Imzadi]

It is the same child who came over close to Christmas and asked DD what we were getting her and implied an American Girl would be ok. Um, nothing and no.

So, it is an "odd kid" after all.

 

[Mysterian]

Is it too late to send Steeven the Six-year old Sorcerer Supreme to perform tricks for this party? We need to milk that invitation for all it's worth here.

 

[yensid's offspring]

Is there a Go fund me I can donate to? I might pull my St. Judes donation and just send it to this kid for his Bday present.

I would send them an RSVP of not coming with a crisp $20 and say I hope he enjoys his gift.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I think it’s odd to send out a kid’s birthday invitation 2 months in advance, most will put it aside and forget about it.

It's a summer birthday, people go on vacation. Makes sense to me.

 

[mjkacmom]

It's a summer birthday, people go on vacation. Makes sense to me.

On the social calendar, kids birthday parties, unless very good friends, is at the bottom of the list. There is no way I’d rsvp saying my child will attend until the week before. I’ve hosted dozens of kids parties, invitations sent 10 - 14 days usually have folks RSVPing right away, more than a month out they get set aside. It’s not a wedding.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Is it too late to send Steeven the Six-year old Sorcerer Supreme to perform tricks for this party? We need to milk that invitation for all it's worth here.

Sorry, that was an old invitation. Steeven is 12 now and he hasn’t come out of his bedroom since getting a pair of VR glasses last Christmas. Also, these days he’s asking people to call him Stee because he thinks it sounds edgy and grown up. We all know it sounds stupid but we’re going along with it because we’re trying to respect his choices.