odd breastfeeding question

[Hannathy]

how about this one, I know someone who "breastfead" her only child till they were 9, but get this, the last several years of that, there was absolutely no milk, not even a drop and they both knew it, but it was comforting for both of them, so they continued to "breastfeed" everynight for about 15 minutes.

Screams wrong to me, even if you do believe in extended breastfeeding, and no I don't think it is appropriate after about 3, definitely not after they can ask in fully understandable sentences

They should have been arrested for that! If that isn't sexual contact I don't know what is.

sick.

 

[rie'smom]

Mama Mouse - What I would be concerned about with kids that are six and eight is that THEY are going to have memories of breastfeeding and what that my do to them later. Breasts, whether we like it or not, are secondary sexual organs in our society. I would think that breastfeeding past three or four could be psychologically damaging.

I don't generally suspect that the mom has some perverted issues because I can't imagine breastfeeding a kid with teeth to be anything other than a horrid experience. =p

Teeth, heck, what about braces!

 

[Polyluvr]

only on the Dis~ you just can't make up craziness like this!

Good luck OP~ no way in heck would I allow that nonsense to go on in my house.

 

[hentob]

I would be telling her ahead of time that she would not be doing that in my home and if she has to do it she can just go to her car.

I think at those ages she is walking on thin ice and that it could be called sexual contact with a minor.

To be honest, I wouldn't even allow this woman into my home. Sorry. I would be disgusted at the mere sight of her.

 

[rie'smom]

how about this one, I know someone who "breastfead" her only child till they were 9, but get this, the last several years of that, there was absolutely no milk, not even a drop and they both knew it, but it was comforting for both of them, so they continued to "breastfeed" everynight for about 15 minutes.

Screams wrong to me, even if you do believe in extended breastfeeding, and no I don't think it is appropriate after about 3, definitely not after they can ask in fully understandable sentences

They should have been arrested for that! If that isn't sexual contact I don't know what is.

sick.

It isn't sexual, it's bonding.

 

[hentob]

Hmmm...

What's most disturbing to me in this thread is the amount of people calling breastfeeding children of a certain age "perverted" or likening it to a sexual act.

I breastfed. I am pro breastfeeding. Feel happy and warm when I see a baby nursing Go mom!!

I would also consider an 8 year old sucking on mama's nipples a sexual act that should involve CPS. An 8 year old should NOT want to do that.

 

[Mama Mouse]

Mama Mouse - What I would be concerned about with kids that are six and eight is that THEY are going to have memories of breastfeeding and what that my do to them later. Breasts, whether we like it or not, are secondary sexual organs in our society. I would think that breastfeeding past three or four could be psychologically damaging.

I don't generally suspect that the mom has some perverted issues because I can't imagine breastfeeding a kid with teeth to be anything other than a horrid experience. =p

I somehow missed the first part of this post.

Honestly, 6 and 8 are waaaaaaaaay outside of my comfort zone and I've never been there so I can't speak to that. I can only speak of my own experience. I never really said I was cool with what's happening with the OP's sister in law. To me, though, it sounds like her attitude is indicative of a lot of behaviors that won't be healthy for the kids. Another example is the steam rollering of people with differing beliefs. That's sad to me but I'm a live and let live kinda person. I wouldn't dream of jumping on someone for using formula or not extended nursing or whatever. The SIL seems to want her beliefs and ONLY her beliefs respected.

 

[ferris198]

Okay any child who is breast feeding at the age of 6 or 8 has other issues.

 

[hentob]

Oh goodness, teeth are no problem! My children both got their first teeth at about a year, and I nursed awhile after that.

But they learned not to bite LONG before they ever got teeth. As soon as they started to bite down, I just slipped a finger into their mouth and pressed down firmly on their sensitive little gums, right where the molars would come in. They let go right away, and didn't try again.

If you figure out early that biting hurts, you don't try to bite!

I never felt any teeth, even when they had them.

This is great advice for an eight year old who has their ADULT teeth.

 

[Mama Mouse]

how about this one, I know someone who "breastfead" her only child till they were 9, but get this, the last several years of that, there was absolutely no milk, not even a drop and they both knew it, but it was comforting for both of them, so they continued to "breastfeed" everynight for about 15 minutes.

Screams wrong to me, even if you do believe in extended breastfeeding, and no I don't think it is appropriate after about 3, definitely not after they can ask in fully understandable sentences

I would have to agree that nursing until age 9 with no milk is wildly inappropriate. It sounds as though the Mother in this situation is reluctant to remove the comfort item from the child but it's something that eventually needs to happen. As children grow you're constantly tweaking ways to comfort them in more developmentally and age appropriate ways. A 9 year old needs to have been helped to learn some more appropriate comfort techniques. Also, I think some nursing mothers forget that it is still THEIR body and they have a right to set limits and that actually teaches the child a great lesson. People's bodies have limits that I have to respect. Obviously this situation lacks that dynamic.

And, FTR, by your rules, my early speaking ds would have been S-O-L by the time he was 16 months old.

 

[dollydell]

If at 16 months your child really could say Mommy I want your ninnies or whatever it was in a clearly understood to all around him full sentence then I stand by it

 

[Mama Mouse]

If at 16 months your child really could say Mommy I want your ninnies or whatever it was in a clearly understood to all around him full sentence then I stand by it

I see. So a child's speech development now dictates the nutritional value of breastmilk? That makes no sense!

 

[hentob]

Interesting article. Boy was 8 years old at the time.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/08/21/health/main519392.shtml

"Prosecutors are trying to force a woman to stop breast-feeding her 8-year-old son, a practice that once temporarily landed the boy in foster care.

During a brief hearing Tuesday, Judge Ann Einhorn warned Lynn Stuckey, 34, against continuing the practice and set future court dates to consider the prosecutor's petition claiming neglect.

Stuckey lets her son nurse once every 10 days or so, a practice she calls natural, child-led weaning, though she's unsure whether she still produces milk.

The state took custody of the boy in July 2000 after a baby sitter called a child-abuse hot line, and he remained in foster care for several months. Einhorn had approved his homecoming, saying Stuckey was no longer nursing.

The single mother appeared on a morning talk show last month to discuss her situation, the first time she was identified publicly. The program included a tape of the boy while suckling.

"I think people need to see me and my child and realize that this is a perfectly normal practice," Stuckey said on the program. "We are your standard middle-class American family, and we're not doing anything wrong."

About a week later, prosecutor John Piland filed the petition, which alleges that Stuckey has neglected her son by placing him at risk of emotional harm; failed to correct the conditions that triggered the foster care two years ago; and exposed him to ridicule by showing the tape.

The petition does not bring criminal charges, instead asking the judge to intervene under the state's juvenile laws. The judge could terminate parental rights, but Piland would not say whether he'll seek that.

"The court has broad powers to do lots of things," he said.

A new hearing was set for Sept. 10.

The boy's father lived in Oregon during the last court test and has had little role in raising him."

 

[Mama Mouse]

Interesting article. Boy was 8 years old at the time.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/08/21/health/main519392.shtml

"Prosecutors are trying to force a woman to stop breast-feeding her 8-year-old son, a practice that once temporarily landed the boy in foster care.

During a brief hearing Tuesday, Judge Ann Einhorn warned Lynn Stuckey, 34, against continuing the practice and set future court dates to consider the prosecutor's petition claiming neglect.

Stuckey lets her son nurse once every 10 days or so, a practice she calls natural, child-led weaning, though she's unsure whether she still produces milk.

The state took custody of the boy in July 2000 after a baby sitter called a child-abuse hot line, and he remained in foster care for several months. Einhorn had approved his homecoming, saying Stuckey was no longer nursing.

The single mother appeared on a morning talk show last month to discuss her situation, the first time she was identified publicly. The program included a tape of the boy while suckling.

"I think people need to see me and my child and realize that this is a perfectly normal practice," Stuckey said on the program. "We are your standard middle-class American family, and we're not doing anything wrong."

About a week later, prosecutor John Piland filed the petition, which alleges that Stuckey has neglected her son by placing him at risk of emotional harm; failed to correct the conditions that triggered the foster care two years ago; and exposed him to ridicule by showing the tape.

The petition does not bring criminal charges, instead asking the judge to intervene under the state's juvenile laws. The judge could terminate parental rights, but Piland would not say whether he'll seek that.

"The court has broad powers to do lots of things," he said.

A new hearing was set for Sept. 10.

The boy's father lived in Oregon during the last court test and has had little role in raising him."

I think if you go looking, it is easy to find people who misuse this most basic of functions. I think the same could be said of anything. My point is, not ALL extended nursers are nursing to like age 12 or would put their child's picture all over the tv or whatever. So generalizing that all who extended nurse are disgusting perverts is ridiculously small minded.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I am a big advocate of breastfeeding, and have no problem with extended breastfeeding (up until age three to four or so, but even then, not in front of other people -- at that age, it's more of a comfort thing than a nutritional thing.)

But. That. Woman. Is. Nuts. A 6 and 8yo?!! Blech!


OP, it's so hard to advise you because you are dealing with someone so outside of cultural norms that one cannot expect to reason with her. I guess I'd have that talk with her, as others have mentioned. "the rest of the family is uncomfortable seeing you nurse the older kids. If you're going to do it while you're here, please use this room." If she refuses, you can ask her to leave, or you can discuss it with everyone else ahead of time, and all pick up your plates and head for another room to eat if she does this at the dinner table. If she won't leave the room, the rest of you can. You shouldn't have to, but it may be the only option if you don't want to upset the rest of the family by asking her to leave if she refuses to leave the room herself.

Good luck, sounds like you're going to need it!

 

[dollydell]

I see. So a child's speech development now dictates the nutritional value of breastmilk? That makes no sense!

I didn't say that it was no longer nutritional, but that would be an age where they can reason and understand better and start to realize that it isn't something you should at the very least be doing in public

If we go by what you say though, then even 60 year olds should be breastfeeding.

 

[Hannathy]

So generalizing that all who extended nurse are disgusting perverts is ridiculously small minded.

No I'm happy to say they are either disgusting or perverts, they don't have to be both. But in any way, they may not be perverts but it certainly is disgusting.

 

[Planogirl]

I'd like to see any literature that recommends that a child nurse until the age of 6 or 8 for nutritional reasons. I don't buy it.

 

[hentob]

. So generalizing that all who extended nurse are disgusting perverts is ridiculously small minded.

Ridiculously small minded

I am not generalizing. Having an 8 year old sucking on a mother’s nipple is disgusting and flat out wrong. Period. It is not small minded to think that way.

 

[Ceila]

Ridiculously small minded

I am not generalizing. Having an 8 year old sucking on a mother’s nipple is disgusting and flat out wrong. Period. It is not small minded to think that way.

I think when she said that she didn't realize how old the two oldest kids are. She thought people were sexualizing the nursing of the two who are under 4. In fact, she came back to say that she didn't agree with what the SIL is doing.