odd breastfeeding question

[princessmom29]

All I can say is I feel really sorry for those children. Mommy's need to hang on to her babies is overstepping what is best for her kids. I realize a lot of people would disagree, but there is really only one motivation for extended nursing in this day and age, and it is NOT nutritional. NO child needs to nurse at 6 or 8, and letting them do so is doing them a disservice IMO.

 

[mickeyplanner08]

This is one of my top 3 threads.......

In first place is the Mother in law Christmas gifts
Second goes to the farting thread
And this one gets third.

I really needed to laugh like this today!

All right, I'm lovin this one; I totally remember the MIL gifts, but could someone please point me in the direction of the farts? I need some more of this today

 

[Mimi1965]

OP here. no one objects to her nursing the little ones at all, and she's pretty discreet because she still "wears" them alot in a sling type thing, even though they are pretty big. i don't think anyone would bat an eye about the 18 month old or 3 year old, even at the dinner table. the problem is the older kids because they get all whiny and beg for "some milk from mommies ninnies", which even though i think that's weird, i worry more about my 14 year old son watching his 8 year old cousin doing that.

!

I'm really curious if the 6 and 8 year old go to school? Or go to other people's homes to see that other kids their age dont breast feed?

I can not imagine kids that old nursing. I am a huge fan of Breastfeeding-but anyone over 18 months is gross in my opinion

 

[4nana]

This is one of my top 3 threads.......

In first place is the Mother in law Christmas gifts
Second goes to the farting thread
And this one gets third.

I really needed to laugh like this today!

Remember the thread about cool cabbage leaves that help engorgement, reduces, and dries up breast milk?!?! Yea, I learned that on the Dis!!

 

[PrincessBelle09]

OP - I'll agree with all the folks that have said "Your house, your rules."

I am very pro-breastfeeding up to an appropriate age, but I personally find it bizarre that the older kids are still breastfeeding. I have clear memories from those ages and I am very thankful that none of them are of sucking on my mother's breasts. That's beyond freaky.

 

[Mama Mouse]

Hmmm...

What's most disturbing to me in this thread is the amount of people calling breastfeeding children of a certain age "perverted" or likening it to a sexual act.

Obviously, these people can't have ever breastfed or they'd know damn good and well there is NOTHING sexual about it. In fact, there was surely nothing to make me feel LESS sexual than when I was breastfeeding. What's gross to me is that people actually think they are one and the same just because they are both functions of the breast.

If you can't guess, I nursed my ds well beyond what our society considers normal. He was 3.5 years old when he finally weaned and it cracks me up when people suggest that I was just in it for me and that only *I* liked it. Uhhh...yeah no. I was SO over it. But it was best for my son and his immune system. No other liquid or food could offer him what MY milk could...because as we nurse our children, our bodies actually configure the milk to be best suited that THAT particular child. Cow's milk would never come close. A juice box? HA. What a joke.

I don't honestly think I could have gone much longer because, as I said, I was absolutely DONE. However, I remember as a new nursing mom just wanting people to respect my privacy and rights as his mother. I think a nursing mom has a responsibility to extend that respect to others around her. The SIL in the OP is obviously NOT respecting anyone but herself and her own children. She's also setting a bad example by steam rollering anyone who dares disagree with her. She clearly is setting herself apart socially and not wanting to be a part of things.

I agree, it's your house, your rules. Be open and honest. "We love you and the kids. We want you there at Thanksgiving but none of us is comfortable with you nursing the older kids in front of everyone. Is there any way you could do that in a private room?" If the answer is yes, great. If the answer is no or an argument shut her down RIGHT away. "I'm sorry we can't find a compromise on this one. Maybe you can join us next year." Don't engage. She seems to be one of those miltant people who get a kick out of challening people's beliefs and comfort zones. If she's like that, she'll love the rise she gets out of everyone so just don't engage her.

Sorry you're dealing with this OP.

 

[ilovepcot]

If you can't guess, I nursed my ds well beyond what our society considers normal. He was 3.5 years old when he finally weaned and it cracks me up when people suggest that I was just in it for me and that only *I* liked it. Uhhh...yeah no. I was SO over it. But it was best for my son and his immune system. No other liquid or food could offer him what MY milk could...because as we nurse our children, our bodies actually configure the milk to be best suited that THAT particular child. Cow's milk would never come close. A juice box? HA. What a joke.

I don't honestly think I could have gone much longer because, as I said, I was absolutely DONE. However, I remember as a new nursing mom just wanting people to respect my privacy and rights as his mother. I think a nursing mom has a responsibility to extend that respect to others around her. The SIL in the OP is obviously NOT respecting anyone but herself and her own children. She's also setting a bad example by steam rollering anyone who dares disagree with her. She clearly is setting herself apart socially and not wanting to be a part of things.

I agree, it's your house, your rules. Be open and honest. "We love you and the kids. We want you there at Thanksgiving but none of us is comfortable with you nursing the older kids in front of everyone. Is there any way you could do that in a private room?" If the answer is yes, great. If the answer is no or an argument shut her down RIGHT away. "I'm sorry we can't find a compromise on this one. Maybe you can join us next year." Don't engage. She seems to be one of those miltant people who get a kick out of challening people's beliefs and comfort zones. If she's like that, she'll love the rise she gets out of everyone so just don't engage her.

Sorry you're dealing with this OP.

A very nice post and one I respect.

 

[rie'smom]

If society did not sexualize women's breasts it would not be an issue. The purpose and function of the female breast is to feed offspring.

Our closets animal relatives (non human primates) nurse until
the babies get their first permanent molars- (For humans 5.5-6 years old )
or when they reach about 1/3 of their adult weight (5-7 year range)
or roughly halfway to reproductive maturity (6-7)

Really, I am just saying that unnatural is not the right description. Beyond societal norm-yes. Wrong?-who is to judge that.

But, bottom line. As I suggested to OP, just be honest and say that it makes others uncomfortable to nurse the older 2 in the presence of others.

Yes and our closest animal relatives live in trees, swing on vines and wipe their rear ends with their hands. That behavior to humans living in the civilized society of the US is unnatural.

 

[PrincessBelle09]

Mama Mouse - What I would be concerned about with kids that are six and eight is that THEY are going to have memories of breastfeeding and what that my do to them later. Breasts, whether we like it or not, are secondary sexual organs in our society. I would think that breastfeeding past three or four could be psychologically damaging.

I don't generally suspect that the mom has some perverted issues because I can't imagine breastfeeding a kid with teeth to be anything other than a horrid experience. =p

 

[Hannathy]

Hmmm...

What's most disturbing to me in this thread is the amount of people calling breastfeeding children of a certain age "perverted" or likening it to a sexual act.

Obviously, these people can't have ever breastfed or they'd know damn good and well there is NOTHING sexual about it. In fact, there was surely nothing to make me feel LESS sexual than when I was breastfeeding. What's gross to me is that people actually think they are one and the same just because they are both functions of the breast.

If you can't guess, I nursed my ds well beyond what our society considers normal. He was 3.5 years old when he finally weaned and it cracks me up when people suggest that I was just in it for me and that only *I* liked it. Uhhh...yeah no. I was SO over it. But it was best for my son and his immune system. No other liquid or food could offer him what MY milk could...because as we nurse our children, our bodies actually configure the milk to be best suited that THAT particular child. Cow's milk would never come close. A juice box? HA. What a joke.

I don't honestly think I could have gone much longer because, as I said, I was absolutely DONE. However, I remember as a new nursing mom just wanting people to respect my privacy and rights as his mother. I think a nursing mom has a responsibility to extend that respect to others around her. The SIL in the OP is obviously NOT respecting anyone but herself and her own children. She's also setting a bad example by steam rollering anyone who dares disagree with her. She clearly is setting herself apart socially and not wanting to be a part of things.

I agree, it's your house, your rules. Be open and honest. "We love you and the kids. We want you there at Thanksgiving but none of us is comfortable with you nursing the older kids in front of everyone. Is there any way you could do that in a private room?" If the answer is yes, great. If the answer is no or an argument shut her down RIGHT away. "I'm sorry we can't find a compromise on this one. Maybe you can join us next year." Don't engage. She seems to be one of those miltant people who get a kick out of challening people's beliefs and comfort zones. If she's like that, she'll love the rise she gets out of everyone so just don't engage her.

Sorry you're dealing with this OP.

You could have pumped and they could have drank it out of a glass like all the other 3 yr olds drink their milk if you thought they needed breast milk. So I do have to agree that anyone nursing an older child is doing it for them selves. They did not need to nurse at the breast at 3.5

That is my opinion. I also disagree about the configuring for a particular child-don't see how that scientifically could be possible but that isn't the theme of this thread.

 

[Mama Mouse]

You could have pumped and they could have drank it out of a glass like all the other 3 yr olds drink their milk if you thought they needed breast milk. So I do have to agree that anyone nursing an older child is doing it for them selves. They did not need to nurse at the breast at 3.5

That is my opinion. I also disagree about the configuring for a particular child-don't see how that scientifically could be possible but that isn't the theme of this thread.

Read up on the glands around the areola where the nursing child's mouth is. Breasts are designed the way they are for many, many amazing reasons.

As for doing it for myself, again, I must laugh. You obviously did not read in my post at how DONE I was. I did it for my child and ONLY my child. As for the pumping, that would have been AWESOME! I wish I could have. Did you know that not every nursing mother can pump enough? Did you know that a nursing infant is many times more efficient than a pump and that a nursing child is many times more efficient than that?

I bet you didn't know that.

Oh and the gland/areola thing? Doesn't really work with a plastic pump cup against the breast. Just saying.

 

[Hannathy]

Read up on the glands around the areola where the nursing child's mouth is. Breasts are designed the way they are for many, many amazing reasons.

As for doing it for myself, again, I must laugh. You obviously did not read in my post at how DONE I was. I did it for my child and ONLY my child. As for the pumping, that would have been AWESOME! I wish I could have. Did you know that not every nursing mother can pump enough? Did you know that a nursing infant is many times more efficient than a pump and that a nursing child is many times more efficient than that?

I bet you didn't know that.

Oh and the gland/areola thing? Doesn't really work with a plastic pump cup against the breast. Just saying.

but a 3.5 yr old does not need a massive quantity they are eating solid food and their milk consumption does not have to feed them completely like a 1 yr old. I would think you could pump 3 glasses a day's worth.
And if you were truly done, you would have ended it.

 

[Magpie]

I don't generally suspect that the mom has some perverted issues because I can't imagine breastfeeding a kid with teeth to be anything other than a horrid experience. =p

Oh goodness, teeth are no problem! My children both got their first teeth at about a year, and I nursed awhile after that.

But they learned not to bite LONG before they ever got teeth. As soon as they started to bite down, I just slipped a finger into their mouth and pressed down firmly on their sensitive little gums, right where the molars would come in. They let go right away, and didn't try again.

If you figure out early that biting hurts, you don't try to bite!

I never felt any teeth, even when they had them.

 

[PrincessBelle09]

I never felt any teeth, even when they had them.

I was a bit older when my mom had my little sister and she breastfed until sis was three. My mom was not so lucky. I heard yelps. It sounded bad.

 

[DisneyKT]

but a 3.5 yr old does not need a massive quantity they are eating solid food and their milk consumption does not have to feed them completely like a 1 yr old. I would think you could pump 3 glasses a day's worth.
And if you were truly done, you would have ended it.

Well, I am not the poster you are talking too. But I couldn't pump 3 cups for my kid whe he was 2mons old. Just didn't work for me.

 

[Mama Mouse]

but a 3.5 yr old does not need a massive quantity they are eating solid food and their milk consumption does not have to feed them completely like a 1 yr old. I would think you could pump 3 glasses a day's worth.
And if you were truly done, you would have ended it.

Uhhh...Have you ever pumped? There is NO WAY I could have pumped three glasses a day worth. I couldn't pump that much at the height of his nursing when all he ate was breastmilk. I would have been LUCKY to get a single ounce. Actually, I stopped trying to pump after he was around 18 months and I was only getting maybe an ounce at a time. I imagine by the time he was 2, I'd have gotten only drops. Some people's ****s just don't respond to a pump. I dunno why. Lucky for my son, he still had access to the LIVING antibodies that his body needed...antibodies in my breastmilk. Because they are living, it doesn't work the same with any other milk. Cow's milk is pasteurized meaning all the living mechanisms (designed for baby cows nutritional needs, mind you) are killed in the process.

I'm not going to romanticize it. I was over it for the last few months. But he had gradually weaned down to almost nothing and I knew, as a Mother, I could deal with the limited nursing because he was quickly winding down and would be done soon. The nutritional aspect was THAT IMPORTANT to me. And if he hadn't stopped, I'd have purposefully weaned him because I was done. But he did it himself.

I'm not trying to be argumentative. I'm really not. But it seems like a lot of people here have based their breastfeeding beliefs on woefully inadequate knowledge of the subject and blatant assumptions. It's simply not as cut and dry as you'd like to make it. Maybe my view is more scientific than that of others...I dunno.

 

[Mama Mouse]

Ha! An entire thread about ta-tas and I didn't even realize the word b o o b was censored. Woops!

 

[kimblebee]

Gives a whole new meaning to asking a friend over for milk and cookies. I bet the 8 year old never has a friend over more than once.

 

[hentob]

I think the unnatural part is an 8 year old drinking from it's mother's breast, not so much an issue with the breastmilk itself.

Uh. Yeah.

Gross. I want to vomit at the thought of a third grader putting their lips around their mother's nipple and sucking. It is perverse.

 

[dollydell]

how about this one, I know someone who "breastfead" her only child till they were 9, but get this, the last several years of that, there was absolutely no milk, not even a drop and they both knew it, but it was comforting for both of them, so they continued to "breastfeed" everynight for about 15 minutes.

Screams wrong to me, even if you do believe in extended breastfeeding, and no I don't think it is appropriate after about 3, definitely not after they can ask in fully understandable sentences