Obnoxious Question - Maybe?

katmigordon

Mouseketeer
Joined
Jun 30, 2019
So, I know it's nauseating, but my wife and I are the type of couple who hates spending time apart... which I think may be a problem for us if I want to do a tasting. See, she doesn't drink any kind of alcohol - ever. Long story - the kind that involves a troubling childhood I will spare you the details of. So, obviously if I do a tasting she wants to come with me because - as I said we hate to be apart if we dont have to be. BUT we wont want to pay for a tasting for her because she wont drink ANYTHING, not even sipping off mine or anything of that nature. Would it be possible for her to sit with me - but not pay, and not partake of the drinking?
 

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  • katmigordon

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Jun 30, 2019
    To be fair, I did say we were a bit obnoxious.
    20 years and we still carry on like newlyweds - we're that couple our friends point to and say "you make me sick - I want what you have".
    That said we can be separated for an hour - and if it comes to that I'll do one tasting instead of the two I was hoping for.



    The tastings aren’t that long. You can’t be separated 1 hr or so? Have her get a massage while you are drinking. Can’t see them giving her a Spot just to sit. Or book her one and you drink double. Win win for me
     

    Karin1984

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 5, 2012
    I don't think it's obnoxious, but it's probably just not something that would work for most couples.
    I have a colleague who never separates from her husband. I think, she only goes to yoga on her own, but for the other 166 hours in the week, she is basically always with her husband (who works on the same floor, different departments). As long as it doesn't hold you back from doing things you want to do (which my colleague sometimes seems to have), and it works for you and your spouse, then it's all good.

    That's when you say:
    That said we can be separated for an hour - and if it comes to that I'll do one tasting instead of the two I was hoping for.
    Is being separated two times one hour really a stretch, as you wanted to do two tastings.

    Speaking as someone having a similar background like your spouse (I presume), I would have more issues with just sitting there and watching people consume alcohol, than not being together, if I were in a similar relationship. I can get uncomfortable from time to time with people I do not know drinking alcohol, as I cannot predict how alcohol will effect them. I know most people are sensible with their alcohol intake, and a Disney Cruise is not the one to attract the binge-drinkers, but due to my childhood, there is something that always gets triggered when the focus becomes on alcohol.
     

    katmigordon

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Jun 30, 2019
    Thank you for this, it hadn't even occurred to me she might be uncomfortable in this situation, we have been to bars together (I used to attend drag shows frequently). But you inspired me to talk to her about it, turns out she'd be fine in this situation with others drinking - as long as I am with her. I think she's actually more comfortable being with me where she can keep an eye on me. I know that sounds bad, but she's just recently started being comfortable with me drinking at all - so I think she wants to keep an eye on me and make sure I don't overdo it... which if that was just her being controlling would be an issue, but it's a direct response to her own trauma, so I can be patient and respect that.


    I don't think it's obnoxious, but it's probably just not something that would work for most couples.
    I have a colleague who never separates from her husband. I think, she only goes to yoga on her own, but for the other 166 hours in the week, she is basically always with her husband (who works on the same floor, different departments). As long as it doesn't hold you back from doing things you want to do (which my colleague sometimes seems to have), and it works for you and your spouse, then it's all good.

    That's when you say:

    Is being separated two times one hour really a stretch, as you wanted to do two tastings.

    Speaking as someone having a similar background like your spouse (I presume), I would have more issues with just sitting there and watching people consume alcohol, than not being together, if I were in a similar relationship. I can get uncomfortable from time to time with people I do not know drinking alcohol, as I cannot predict how alcohol will effect them. I know most people are sensible with their alcohol intake, and a Disney Cruise is not the one to attract the binge-drinkers, but due to my childhood, there is something that always gets triggered when the focus becomes on alcohol.
     

    Dug720

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Feb 16, 2012
    To answer your question, yes. It is extremely likely that she would be charged as she is taking up a spot that someone who would drink would like to have. I have done a mixology where there was a couple where she was pregnant and obviously not drinking, but she had a paid ticket as well. (In their case, her husband had her drinks, but it sounds like that would not work for you.) And I have been at other tastings where people wanted to come in with others and just sit and it was not allowed as the tasting was full.

    So if you must have her by your side at all times, you should expect to pay for that seat.
     

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  • katmigordon

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Jun 30, 2019
    Thank you for the insight - so Chocolate and Liquor this time, champagne in 2021 in Alaska =)

    To answer your question, yes. It is extremely likely that she would be charged as she is taking up a spot that someone who would drink would like to have. I have done a mixology where there was a couple where she was pregnant and obviously not drinking, but she had a paid ticket as well. (In their case, her husband had her drinks, but it sounds like that would not work for you.) And I have been at other tastings where people wanted to come in with others and just sit and it was not allowed as the tasting was full.

    So if you must have her by your side at all times, you should expect to pay for that seat.
     

    DisneYE

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Oct 7, 2013
    To be fair, I did say we were a bit obnoxious.
    20 years and we still carry on like newlyweds - we're that couple our friends point to and say "you make me sick - I want what you have".
    That said we can be separated for an hour - and if it comes to that I'll do one tasting instead of the two I was hoping for.
    It's not obnoxious - You're so lucky to have that kind of relationship, I'm happy for you.. And I also want what you have.

    Tastings have gone downhill in the past couple of years.. they're not what they used to be..
    They're now just a mechanized, underwhelming experience.

    IMO: just skip it/them and go the pool (if during the day) or a bar (at night) with the wife and grab a drink.
    If sailing the Fantasy/Dream, you have the Meridian which is the best bar where you can sip a cocktail with the best views on the ship.
     

    dad of 3 addicted to DCL

    Waiting for July
    Joined
    Aug 14, 2017
    I don't drink but my wife does. We've been to nearly all the tastings and I sit with her as she enjoys this or that. I just tell the CM as we arrive that I'm just watching and it's fine - never been an issue. If, your wife has issues, though, that's another kettle of fish
     
  • DISEXAD

    Food Addict
    Joined
    Jul 27, 2008
    So, I know it's nauseating, but my wife and I are the type of couple who hates spending time apart... which I think may be a problem for us if I want to do a tasting. See, she doesn't drink any kind of alcohol - ever. Long story - the kind that involves a troubling childhood I will spare you the details of. So, obviously if I do a tasting she wants to come with me because - as I said we hate to be apart if we dont have to be. BUT we wont want to pay for a tasting for her because she wont drink ANYTHING, not even sipping off mine or anything of that nature. Would it be possible for her to sit with me - but not pay, and not partake of the drinking?
    I
     

    Adventurelawyer

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Apr 18, 2013
    There is never any requirement to drink alcohol, ever. This is true even if, or perhaps especially when, you are paying for it. If she isn’t permitted to attend without a ticket, get her one and ask if they can give you hers or give hers to someone else.


    Good for your wife. I enjoy my alcohol, but I also love when people stand up for themselves and stick to their guns.
     

    andrew870

    andrew870
    Joined
    Nov 21, 2009
    I did the whiskey tasting class and my wife was aloud to sit next to me , but a little behind me. We told the man giving the tasting and even asked where would be a good place to wait. He insisted it was ok for her to be with me but not drinking. I say just ask..... we never even asked and was told it is ok.
     

    allears

    "If I were not upon the sea..." I'd want to be!
    Joined
    Jul 20, 2002
    It's not like there aren't open seating areas in the venues where the tastings take place. I'm pretty sure they would let your wife hang out in the room with you and not pay.
     

    Bonnie1222

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Oct 9, 2016
    Thank you for the insight - so Chocolate and Liquor this time, champagne in 2021 in Alaska =)
    You absolutely have to do Chocolate and Liquor! It was well worth the money.

    WTS on our last cruise we did multiple tastings. DH does not like wine at all, but he does drink. So for Bourbon we both paid, I tasted and let him finish. Rum we both enjoyed and a couple came in and the husband had paid for the tasting and the wife did not but wanted to sit and listen. He went to the bartender and asked. They found a spot she could sit that would not take up a paying persons seat. When I did chocolate and liquor DH didn't have a ticket, but didn't have anything to do so when the doors opened he asked the bartender if there was someplace he could sit out of the way to wait. They pointed him to the couch that would not be used. I have seen it happen on other cruises too.

    My suggestion is show up early and ask the bartender or assistant giving the class. The worst they will say it no, but if you approach them early I am sure they will do their best to accommodate you if they have space. Some bars have less seating than others so that will may be a deciding factor.
     

    smmco

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Jan 5, 2019
    It's not obnoxious - You're so lucky to have that kind of relationship, I'm happy for you.. And I also want what you have.

    Tastings have gone downhill in the past couple of years.. they're not what they used to be..
    They're now just a mechanized, underwhelming experience.

    IMO: just skip it/them and go the pool (if during the day) or a bar (at night) with the wife and grab a drink.
    If sailing the Fantasy/Dream, you have the Meridian which is the best bar where you can sip a cocktail with the best views on the ship.
    I've been married 26 years and no way would I want we he has.

    Like the previous poster said if it's that important to have her with you at all times pay for a seat. What are we talking 20-30 bucks?
     

    apathetic

    DIS Veteran
    Joined
    Sep 16, 2013
    My wife doesn't drink but has never had a problem going to tastings with me. There is usually extra seats. Just tell them not to set up where she is at. I think the only problem is if there isn't extra room, but I've done about 10 tastings and that's never been an issue.
     

    71 Truck

    Mouseketeer
    Joined
    Nov 14, 2018
    On our December cruise my wife did the chocolate liquor tasting in Oh LaLa. I did not want to do the tasting so I sat in the back of the room. I did not have to pay since I was not doing the tasting. I actually fell asleep.The one thing to ask the cast member doing the tasting is, if there is room to sit in the back of the room can you stay. When we did whisky and mixology they were done in the Meridian bar. It was pretty full. There was a lady sitting with a man that was not drinking. I do not know if she had to pay but she was not drinking. The best thing to do is ask.
     


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