Nurses comment - a little taken back

[sharbear]

When my DS was a junior in HS, for anatomy class, they calculated the BMI index for the entire class. Now my DS is very skinny, he's a runner and built like one. The teacher said to him, now the the last and probably the least. Yep, he had the lowest BMI of anyone in the class, boy or girl. He was a little embarrassed.

I think that it was a little weird of the nurse to do that. Who knows why, the last girl she weighed probably was weird about it and thats why she did what she did.

 

[disykat]

now you've made her feel that her weight IS an issue which it is NOT".

I guess this is what made me believe you felt the nurse was implying her weight was an issue. You told the nurse that she made your daughter feel that way.

 

[Lorix2]

Yes, Disykat, I said that to her and she realized how it made my DD feel and that's when I asked to her to tell my DD that her weight is fine, which she did happily but proceeded to remind her to keep her weight in proportion with her height

I just want to make it clear I that I wasn't nasty to her, nor her to me after what I said...we said goodbye and thanked her on the way out also, with a smile.

 

[kdibattista]

When I was her age I would have been horrified if she said my weight out loud (well... I think I still would be today )... I don't think she did anything wrong

 

[Ready to go in Ok]

OP, I agree with you, and completely know where you are coming from. My youngest DD has body image issues, and I would have been really upset if a nurse had approached her weight that way. DD is at the perfect weight for her height, and is thin, but not unhealthily so. However, she has a tendance to get too thin from time to time due to growth spurts and peer pressure. I have to really stay on top of what she eats. You know your child, and how she reacts to things, you did what was in the best interest of your child. Kudos to you for that.

 

[Christine]

I have a 13 yo daughter and I completely agree w/ the OP and Lisa loves Pooh. The woman was a nitwit.

118 at 5'4" is a little too thin in my opinion, but I guess it depends on the bone structure.

My DD is 5'4" and 107 lbs. She is thin, but not skinny. She looks good to me. No muffin tops, no gut!

 

[BuckNaked]

OP, I agree with you, and completely know where you are coming from. My youngest DD has body image issues, and I would have been really upset if a nurse had approached her weight that way.

"That way"? She showed her the weight instead of saying it out loud.

It's amazing to me that anyone in their right mind wants any kind of career in which they have to deal with children in any way, shape or form. Parents seem to just be looking for things to complain about, some little "Susie's self esteem..." issue.

 

[Ready to go in Ok]

"That way"? She showed her the weight instead of saying it out loud.

It's amazing to me that anyone in their right mind wants any kind of career in which they have to deal with children in any way, shape or form. Parents seem to just be looking for things to complain about, some little "Susie's self esteem..." issue.

I am a mental health worker who works with high school students. Not in my right mind I guess. And why so aggressive anyway?

 

[mickeysgal]

I think she was trying to respect your daughter and her privacy. And to be polite. How many women want their weight announced to the room (even if the room is just your mother).

Shoot. I don't even want my weight announced to ME!

 

[Lorix2]

Thanks Readytogo

BuckNaked - I am completely satisfied with the care she has received from this office and I was not looking for anything to complain about.

I think working with kids "in any way, shape or form" may be rewarding to most people....I'm happy for most kids and parents that you are not in a career that keeps you involved with parents like me

I'm officially abandoning my own thread. I can definitely take constructive criticism, but some are getting nasty.

Thanks to everyone for making me see both sides to my story without having to be nasty to me.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Sorry, but I think you overreacted. I think you made the issue about your daughter's weight, not the nurse. I don't think she did anything wrong.

 

[Hedy]

1. In my opinion, the problem isn't showing your DD her weight--it's that she didn't ask. A simple "would you prefer..." could have saved this drama.
2. Why are you going into your 14 year old's MD's appt? When I was that age, my ped started asking my mom to leave. If you think your kid deserves her privacy....

 

[poisoned apple]

i'm 13...
when i go to the dr. i don't exactly like my weight told out loud...
the nurse kinda just writes it on the paper w/o telling me and then when the dr. comes into the room where it is private, she/he says it...
i am self-concious and i don't like it when the matter of how much i weigh comes up in a conversation...
i just tell ppl the truth, "i don't know"...
the nurse was just doing what she thought was right...
my nurse says stuff like that when i go and it doesn't bother me...

 

[roseprincess]

To the OP, I didn't read all the responses, but I agree with you .
In my opinion, it is a little strange the nurse had to show your dd's weight on the calculator, would make your dd self-concious about her weight. The nurse should have given you and your dd a choice about how she should have announced the weight. The nurse either should have asked you to leave the room when the weight annoucement was coming. Or the nurse should have asked if you and dd want to know the weight or not. If your dd was stepping on the regular doctor scale, it's not that hard to read the scale.
And since your dd is still a minor(14 yrs old), you still have every right to know your dd's weight. (Whether the nurse was intentionally not wanting you to know or not).
Unfortuantely, pediatric nurses and school nurses are really into the body mass thing and weight issues with kids and teens nowadays . I guess with all this hype of obesedy in the news, etc, the nurses are really doing a proactive approach on weight, etc.
Your dd is well within the weight average, not overweight by any means.

 

[BuckNaked]

BuckNaked - I am completely satisfied with the care she has received from this office and I was not looking for anything to complain about.

One certainly wouldn't have known that from your first post.

I think working with kids "in any way, shape or form" may be rewarding to most people....

I'm sure it must be - otherwise, why would anyone want to deal with so many of the parents today that actively seek out things that upset them about the way their child is being treated?

I'm happy for most kids and parents that you are not in a career that keeps you involved with parents like me

I'm absolutely happy that I'm not in a career where I would have to deal with parents like you - see we find agreement.

I'm officially abandoning my own thread. I can definitely take constructive criticism, but some are getting nasty.

Thanks to everyone for making me see both sides to my story without having to be nasty to me.

I saw disagreement, not nastiness. Did you not want opinions on this when you posted?

 

[NMAmy]

1. In my opinion, the problem isn't showing your DD her weight--it's that she didn't ask. A simple "would you prefer..." could have saved this drama.
2. Why are you going into your 14 year old's MD's appt? When I was that age, my ped started asking my mom to leave. If you think your kid deserves her privacy....

My dd is 15 and I still go into the examination room with her. DD is more comfortable with me being there and has me ask any questions she might have--I give dd the choice and she always wants me to come in. Her doctor is also my doctor and my mother's doctor--she's never asked me to leave. Perhaps the OP's dd wants her mother with her, as well.

In our doctor's office, it's a digital scale and they'll tell you how much you weigh out loud. I can't understand why you'd want it to be a secret from yourself, for heaven's sake. Shouldn't you know your own weight?

The nurse always teases me because he says I'm the only grown woman who doesn't practically take all their clothes off to get weighed. Once I got on with my purse and that gave me a shock. That thing weighed 7 lbs!

To the OP--I would have been annoyed, too. Why make weight such a big secret? Your dd ASKED for her weight--how can it be a privacy issue when the patient herself wants to know something?

 

[jennobrn01]

I really think this nurse needs to be given the benefit of the doubt. HIPPA regulations on privacy are very strict. As a nurse myself I have learned I can never be too careful. This nurse needs to be granted a little grace. She may have had a pt. that was furious when she said the weight aloud so now she has adopted the written method. She had no way of knowing you would react negatively. I do think she was doing her best in the situation.

Showing the weight to a pt. is something many do out of courteousy. I work in OB and this is commonly done. Every woman who has her weight written down and then shown to her if she asks appreciates the thoughtfullness.

 

[SueM in MN]

First, this person is identified as a 'nurse', but that doesn't necessarily mean she actually is an RN or LPN. A lot of the people who work in doctor's offices identifiy themselves as "Dr. X's nurse" when they are medical assistants. The reason for mentioning that is the person may not have as much training as a nurse would have in how to approach people. And, whatever training she had, she might have been told not to say people's weight out loud.

Second, it's possible that she used the calculator to show the weight because she needed the calculator to convert the weight from kilograms to pounds. That makes a lot of sense and was probably why she had the calculator with her.

I think she could have done a little better job of her first statement - like "I need to convert it from kilograms to pounds. Let me figure it out on the calculator and I'll show you." Or, if she didn't have to calculate it, just say "A lot of people don't want their weight said out loud, no matter what they weigh. Here, let me show you on the calculator."

It's also possible that she normally tells the weight back in the room after plotting it on the growth graph. So, your DD asking about it before that point may have thrown her for a loop.

And, finally, I think your DD gasping had nothing to do with how she was told her weight. I think she would have reacted the same way if the nurse had just said, "You weigh 118 pounds." In a world where 14 year olds know that Lindsay Lohan is a size 2 and Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are size 0, that 118 pounds sounds huge to them, no matter how they are told.

 

[momof2inPA]

Where I work, the people who take patient's weights are not supposed to automatically read it out for them. Same deal with BPs and Temperatures. Some people don't want others to hear it and some don't want to hear it themselves.

Which brings up the possibility that the nurse was just following the rules of her practice by not saying the girl's weight out loud. The calculator was there and handy, so she used it.

I was merely commenting on Dawn's sarcasm that I did not find funny.

I thought it was funny.

 

[ToriLammy]

And, finally, I think your DD gasping had nothing to do with how she was told her weight. I think she would have reacted the same way if the nurse had just said, "You weigh 118 pounds." In a world where 14 year olds know that Lindsay Lohan is a size 2 and Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen are size 0, that 118 pounds sounds huge to them, no matter how they are told.

Yes I was going to post something very similiar this morning, it's quite possible the OPs daughter would have gasped either way because of the number.