November 19, 2005 Thanksgiving Magic Cruise

[WMILLER86]

Well, at least you took their minds off of the redneck jokes, Andrew!

Now, does anybody know any Yankee jokes?

Will

 

[WMILLER86]

Lawyer, lawyer,lawyer, cop, soldier, car salesman, then we throw an insurance guy into the mix! Yeah, that will get em going!

W

 

[LAMPSKIES]

Lawyer, lawyer,lawyer, cop, soldier, car salesman, then we throw an insurance guy into the mix! Yeah, that will get em going!

W

that post sounds like a modern version of "duck duck goose"!

 

[Tri-circle-D]

Lawyer, lawyer,lawyer, cop, soldier, car salesman, then we throw an insurance guy into the mix! Yeah, that will get em going!

W

God Bless America!

To quote a sage insurance salesman: "This will be THE BEST cruise of the year! "

Andrew (tri-circle-d)

 

[Tri-circle-D]

Willie:

My Wife's brother is an insurance salesman. He works at an agency that sells property, medical, and I'm not sure what else. All I know is that we avoid that guy like the plague at social functions. That guy loves his job, and loves to explain everything relating to insurance in painstaking detail. Yikes!

Now, I haven't met you yet, but I'm just guessing that you might have a little more personality than my brother in law. Not that that is saying much.

P.s. no one needs to mention this to my DW either. Thanks for understanding.

Andrew (tri-circle-d)

 

[the5J's]

TCD-Funny you mentioned it...as John was driving up to Toronto for an emergency meeting, he was talking to our Lawyer for about 25 minutes...I'm sure it's the most expensive cell phone call he's ever made. I wouldn't be surprise if they billed us at $500.00 for one call. At least we are self employed that we can deduct for business expense.

Okay...here's our employment info...as most of you know, I'm a faux finisher but here's more...a mom, a wife, and President to another company which John works for ME!! Yes, you heard me right. John is an independent manufacturer sales rep.(not cars like Lampy) for Store Fixtures. So therefore, I myself a president on two different companies. I do all the bookkeeping (coughing) and sometimes I'm so behind on accounting because so called, "employee" is on the computer all the time. Should I fire him?? hmmm?

BTW-Willie...John and I have worked together for about 15 years...it's not that bad seeing each other everyday.

GAS: Okay, get this...2 days ago it was $2.03...yesterday, it shot up to $2.25 and now today it's $2.19 and now few hours ago, it's back up to $2.25...WHAT's UP WITH THAT????

Julia

 

[Tri-circle-D]

Well, at least you took their minds off of the redneck jokes, Andrew!

Now, does anybody know any Yankee jokes?

Will

OK, let me say this first. I am a displaced Yankee. I was born in New Joisey and graduated from Willingboro (NJ) High School. My most famous class mate was a young fellow named Carl Lewis. He actually lived right down the street from me. As I tell my kids, the poor guy was a pretty good athlete, but wasn't Olympic caliber. One day I suggested to him that he churn his legs while he jumped. I show this to my kids all the time when I jump in to the pool. We all do the Carl Lewis jump. The part about going to HS with Carl Lewis is true, the part about me teaching him how to jump isn't (don't tell the kids though). But, you will see my children do that jump into the Goofy pool too. It is a family tradition.

Willie, even though I am a former Yankee, here are some suggestions on how to aggravate Yankees. Based on my experience, these practices apparently have been taught to Southern children in school for decades, because Southern folks seem to know these by heart (at least a lot of folks around here do):

* Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.

* Pronounce all one syllable words with two.

* When giving directions, finish with "it's right down yonder on the left."

* Talk REAL slow, and ask them to speak more slowly so you can understand what they're saying.

* When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell 'em "Delta's ready when you are!"

* Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball.

* Refer to every soft drink as a Coke.

* Always order sweet tea and/or grits. When they don't have it, raise a ruckus.

* Offer to send 'em a bottle of fresh air.

* Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g. Lisa Marie -- John Michael -- Jim Bob. . .)

* Frequently bring up "The War of Northern Aggression" in conversation. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War", always interject that "there was nothing civil about it."

* Address all males as "son" and females as "little lady".

* Correct their pronunciation of certain words. For example: It's "pee-can."

* Put Tabasco on everything.

* For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say "Yo, I'm from upstate New Yoik!" say , "Well I'll be, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!"

* When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies. . . banana ones.

* Name all of your children "Bubba."

* Use the word "reckon" in a sentence.

* "Mash" buttons. "Cut" off lights. "Carry" the kids to school. "Fetch" something.

* Never simply "do" something. Be "fixin to do" something.

* Tell them you don't have an accent, they do.

* Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations..

* Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. "Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think they turned it into a Amoco. Or maybe a BP. Anyway, turn right there. . ." "You said left." "Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town.."

* Ask them if it's still snowing up North. Then tell 'em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend.

* Call 'em a yankee. Works every time.



Andrew (tri-circle-d)

 

[Tri-circle-D]

Gosh, it was only a couple of days ago when Lampy announced his intention to get this thread to 4000 posts. Heck, we could get to 5000 by next week!

Andrew (tri-circle-d)

 

[DOOGIERUNNER]

I'm a lawyer for used-car insurance salesmen !!!!

 

[ICEMANPAD]

Andrew-Thank you for making me laugh while I'm at work this afternoon!!

Teresa-We miss you and your family and wish you were sailing again this year!!


People constantly ask Chuck and me legal questions. But it gets worse, my father is a retired dentist, one of my sisters is an attorney and my other sister is a physician. As a result, wherever we go people always seem to either need legal or medical advice!!

Lisa

 

[DOOGIERUNNER]

Now Andrew.... enought of the Yankee smak!!!!

Actually my MIL talks like that from southern Iowa!!!

I'm a.... ummmm... work with computers. I'm an infrastructure arch, primary focus is the infrastructure layout required to run intranet/extranet applications... such as this board. Currently working on a security project for DuPont. DW, has the hard job, keeps track of kids, shuttles to sports, schedules etc. She's also a school teacher.

 

[Tri-circle-D]

Willie- I am sure that you have heard Jeff Foxworthy's "You might be a redneck jokes." How about some you might be a Yankee jokes?

You might be a Yankee if:

-you would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.

-instead of referring to two or more people as y'all, you call them "you guys," even when both of them are women.

-you don't think Howard Stern has an accent.

-you think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.

-you don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

-none of your fur coats are homemade.

Andrew (tri-circle-d)

 

[WMILLER86]

OK, let me say this first. I am a displaced Yankee. I was born in New Joisey and graduated from Willingboro (NJ) High School. My most famous class mate was a young fellow named Carl Lewis. He actually lived right down the street from me. As I tell my kids, the poor guy was a pretty good athlete, but wasn't Olympic caliber. One day I suggested to him that he churn his legs while he jumped. I show this to my kids all the time when I jump in to the pool. We all do the Carl Lewis jump. The part about going to HS with Carl Lewis is true, the part about me teaching him how to jump isn't (don't tell the kids though). But, you will see my children do that jump into the Goofy pool too. It is a family tradition.

Willie, even though I am a former Yankee, here are some suggestions on how to aggravate Yankees. Based on my experience, these practices apparently have been taught to Southern children in school for decades, because Southern folks seem to know these by heart (at least a lot of folks around here do):

* Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.

* Pronounce all one syllable words with two.

* When giving directions, finish with "it's right down yonder on the left."

* Talk REAL slow, and ask them to speak more slowly so you can understand what they're saying.

* When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell 'em "Delta's ready when you are!"

* Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball.

* Refer to every soft drink as a Coke.

* Always order sweet tea and/or grits. When they don't have it, raise a ruckus.

* Offer to send 'em a bottle of fresh air.

* Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g. Lisa Marie -- John Michael -- Jim Bob. . .)

* Frequently bring up "The War of Northern Aggression" in conversation. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War", always interject that "there was nothing civil about it."

* Address all males as "son" and females as "little lady".

* Correct their pronunciation of certain words. For example: It's "pee-can."

* Put Tabasco on everything.

* For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say "Yo, I'm from upstate New Yoik!" say , "Well I'll be, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!"

* When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies. . . banana ones.

* Name all of your children "Bubba."

* Use the word "reckon" in a sentence.

* "Mash" buttons. "Cut" off lights. "Carry" the kids to school. "Fetch" something.

* Never simply "do" something. Be "fixin to do" something.

* Tell them you don't have an accent, they do.

* Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations..

* Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. "Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think they turned it into a Amoco. Or maybe a BP. Anyway, turn right there. . ." "You said left." "Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town.."

* Ask them if it's still snowing up North. Then tell 'em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend.

* Call 'em a yankee. Works every time.



Andrew (tri-circle-d)

Andrew, are you clairvoyant? Or have you met me before? No wait, I reckon the guys from last year gave you all of my habits! Dang Yankees!

Willie

 

[Tri-circle-D]

Now Andrew.... enought of the Yankee smak!!!!

Actually my MIL talks like that from southern Iowa!!!

I'm a.... ummmm... work with computers. I'm an infrastructure arch, primary focus is the infrastructure layout required to run intranet/extranet applications... such as this board. Currently working on a security project for DuPont. DW, has the hard job, keeps track of kids, shuttles to sports, schedules etc. She's also a school teacher.

Doug- A computer guy, huh? We just had a new server installed here at the office. Our IT guy has been here a lot. He is driving a sweet new Cadillac. So someone has noticed this car in the parking lot and asks if one of the attorneys has a new car. As if. What is up with that? The IT guy is driving a nicer car than all of the attorneys? Maybe we should sue him.

Andrew (tri-circle-d)

 

[LAMPSKIES]

OK, let me say this first. I am a displaced Yankee. I was born in New Joisey and graduated from Willingboro (NJ) High School. My most famous class mate was a young fellow named Carl Lewis. He actually lived right down the street from me. As I tell my kids, the poor guy was a pretty good athlete, but wasn't Olympic caliber. One day I suggested to him that he churn his legs while he jumped. I show this to my kids all the time when I jump in to the pool. We all do the Carl Lewis jump. The part about going to HS with Carl Lewis is true, the part about me teaching him how to jump isn't (don't tell the kids though). But, you will see my children do that jump into the Goofy pool too. It is a family tradition.

Willie, even though I am a former Yankee, here are some suggestions on how to aggravate Yankees. Based on my experience, these practices apparently have been taught to Southern children in school for decades, because Southern folks seem to know these by heart (at least a lot of folks around here do):

* Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.

* Pronounce all one syllable words with two.

* When giving directions, finish with "it's right down yonder on the left."

* Talk REAL slow, and ask them to speak more slowly so you can understand what they're saying.

* When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell 'em "Delta's ready when you are!"

* Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball.

* Refer to every soft drink as a Coke.

* Always order sweet tea and/or grits. When they don't have it, raise a ruckus.

* Offer to send 'em a bottle of fresh air.

* Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g. Lisa Marie -- John Michael -- Jim Bob. . .)

* Frequently bring up "The War of Northern Aggression" in conversation. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War", always interject that "there was nothing civil about it."

* Address all males as "son" and females as "little lady".

* Correct their pronunciation of certain words. For example: It's "pee-can."

* Put Tabasco on everything.

* For New York Yankees: Act as if the whole state of New York is New York City. In other words, if they say "Yo, I'm from upstate New Yoik!" say , "Well I'll be, my wife has always wanted to see a Broadway show!"

* When invited to dinner, offer to bring dessert. Show up with a box of Moon Pies. . . banana ones.

* Name all of your children "Bubba."

* Use the word "reckon" in a sentence.

* "Mash" buttons. "Cut" off lights. "Carry" the kids to school. "Fetch" something.

* Never simply "do" something. Be "fixin to do" something.

* Tell them you don't have an accent, they do.

* Be sure to include "yes/no ma'am/sir" in all conversations..

* Only use landmarks and ramble on when giving directions. "Now go down Jeff Davis Highway and turn left at where the Chevron station used to be. I think they turned it into a Amoco. Or maybe a BP. Anyway, turn right there. . ." "You said left." "Did I? Well, turn left there and follow it until you see a big fish on your left. I remember when that fish used to be on the other side of town.."

* Ask them if it's still snowing up North. Then tell 'em you went driving around in your convertible this weekend.

* Call 'em a yankee. Works every time.



Andrew (tri-circle-d)

HEY ANDREW.....DO THEY PUT THEIR GROCERIES IN A "BAG" OR "SACK"?

 

[Scorpio1112]

Scorpio1112 - We go on vaction to get away from attorneys and they come with us. We will never win.

j/k

tonya.

LOL! I hear you ... now to wonder if they know any of ours!!!

Sherri

 

[Scorpio1112]

What is mash buttons?

 

[LAMPSKIES]

I'm a lawyer for used-car insurance salesmen !!!!

And his wife owns the company!

 

[bhawks9]

I am boring, I work in Education. Not a teacher, one of those administrative types. Probably scares the heck out of my former teachers.
Bill

 

[WMILLER86]

What? It is after 5 and I am still here in the office? I'll have to pay myself OT!

I'm gone......see y'all tomorry