Nothing like having a message from the school principal on your phone

[JESW]

Got back today to find a mesage from the principal at DS8's school. Seems that my guy was throwing rocks at recess and broke a school window!!! The good news is that he didn't hurt anyone. I had DH call him back and he was told that DS was very remorseful and knew that he did wrong. We will be receiving a bill for the window.

So now what do we do?? How do you punish a kid for something like that? He hasn't come home from school yet. It will be interesting to see how he gets off the bus...especially when he sees me standing at the top of the driveway.

I am not going to survive through his adolesence. (sp?) Just last week he & his sister were playing in their bathroom. He was filling a bucket with water and it over-flowed. He panicked, and instead of shutting the water off he tried to clean up the water with towels. The water was everywhere. It went through the floor/ceiling and went down to the kitchen below. Water was GUSHING through the lights in the kitchen. Not a pretty sight to see...

Give me strength. Give me strength. Give me strength.

Taking a deep breath here and then heading out to wait for the bus...

Jill

 

[nkjzmom]

My oldest DS is 8 also....I am sharing the pain with you.

Their little minds and bodies have not quite reached the heights and strengths they THINK they have. I too would wait to see his attitude when he gets home....if he is remorseful I would hug him tightly and say, "Now, let's go work on a list of jobs you can do to earn the $ to pay for that window."

If not GROUND the heck out of him!!!!

 

[Helopoh]

This too shall pass. I don't know about if you give your children allowances or not but I would start with a reduction in his allowance to help pay for the window.( I know it will take forever for him to pay for it solely but maybe enough of it for a few weeks for him to feel the pinch in his pockets.) Them maybe some charity work something in the school. I feel for you. They just don't think sometimes till after the whoops has already happened.

 

[Pooh93]

They just don't think sometimes till after the whoops has already happened

I agree. And it's getting to be the end of the school year and the kids in general are pretty hyped over that if nothing else. I think extra chores to work it off is a good idea. In addition to paying for the window, is there anything he can volunteer to do at school to clean up around there also? Maybe you could talk to the principal and see if he could suggest something. Maybe seeing what it takes in the form of labor to keep a school going would make him appreciate what the adults around there are doing.

He sounds like a good kid if he was already very remorseful. Things will work out.

 

[Aurora63]

I agree with the other posters on this board...I would have him do the work to earn the money to pay for the window. Have him earn minimum wage, and do as many hours of works as it takes.

He may be remorseful, but I don't think remorse is enough. Kids need consequences if they are going to keep from doing stupid stuff like this. Hang in their, I'm sure you'll survive.

 

[snoopy]

Another mother of an 8 year old DS checking in.

Some days I wonder if that boy thinks even for a minute before he acts!!!

Little hellions!

Good luck to you, your sanity, and most of all, your son.

 

[cgcw]

My DS8 would come off the bus crying and saying he was sorry. I know he would continue to apologize over and over again until it got on our nerves. And, weeks, months, years from now he would bring it up again to say he's sorry.

I feel if it wasn't something done out of anger or spite, then the best thing would be to have him do extra chores around the house to help pay for the window. I like the suggestion of community service type work. Maybe he could spend sometime cleaning up the trash on the school grounds. We did this a couple weeks back with our scout den and I was surprised by the amount of garbage they found.

Good luck!

 

[damo]

I don't think it would matter if he was 8 or 48. Guys seem to live by the motto, "It seemed like a good idea at the time!"

 

[December99]

My favorite thing to do after I've been called by a teacher is when dd gets home I ask her how her day was. She, for some reason, thinks I never find out about anything. Well her typical is fine with what I can tell is a smile. And then I ask - oh, so your day was good huh. And when she answers yes then my answer is that that's not how I heard her day was!!!!! Throws her into telling me what happened. She now has learned that she needs to tell me when she gets home because she has finally (she's entering 8th grade) realized that no matter what - I find out anyway!!!!!

 

[LuvTigger]

I'm not a parent, but I always find it interesting to hear how parents deal with situations with their children. I like the ideas about "working" to pay off the damage.

I also wanted to share what one of my friends does when one of her three daughters does something worthy of punishment...she basically punishes them by taking away something they love. For example, the most important thing to her oldest daughter is clothes, so one time, she made her daughter wear only black pants and a white shirt to school the entire week, and it nearly killed her!

Good luck, I hope you will post an update.

 

[mom2boys]

I know those phone calls only too well. My boys are 8 & 9. The older one USUALLY manages to stay out of trouble but last summer he threw a baseball through DH's boss' window. DS was to pay for had to help his father install it. This kid can't stand to be in trouble. He got lucky becuase there was extra window glass - no $, only time. He did miss his basketball game to "help" fix the window. Now my 8 year old well.... I'm writing a book. He has a big heart and is extremely sensative. When he gets near running water it cost us money. We ended up replacing the pump on our well last summer after one of his stunts. Life sure will be boring when they grow up.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

Jill, we want to know.

How did it go??

 

[bobcat]

So I am not the only mom of an 8yo DS going through this?! I'm glad to know it's not only my son who hits 8 and turns into a little tornado of trouble. I have had more calls home from school this year than I can count.

With my kids I usually ask if there is anything I need to know and it is amazing how they spill the beans! I find out things even I in my infinate mother/teacher power didn't know. Thankfully it is mostly minor stuff but my kids know that there is very little they can get away with that I don't know or won't find out.

How did it go?

 

[JESW]

Well, it went ok. I was waiting for DS when he got off the bus and the first initial questions of - "How was your day?" got met with the usual answer - "0k". But he wouldn't meet my eye and it didn't take long before it all came out. He was VERY upset and remorseful and very, very sorry. Turns out that he and two friends were trying to break open rocks to see the crystals inside. They were throwing the rocks against the wall, which, unfortunately, had a window above it. He was crying and crying and said that we could take the money out of his bank account to pay for the window.

I felt bad for him because I knew that it WAS just an accident and not something he meant to do. He had already spent time in the prinipals office getting a talking to. We had a long talk about things and we are trying to come up with the appropriate "punishment". One thing he does have to do is write notes of apology to the principal and to the teacher whose classroom it was.

I just can't give the kid a tough punishment. It was an accident and he knew he did wrong. Going through it all was very tough for him. (Imagine being 8 years old and in the principals office??) My son and I have a close relationship and I want it to continue. I took this as an opportunity to talk with him about taking responsibility for his actions. And the consequences of his actions. And also learning to stop and think before he does things. I believe this will be an ongoing process.

Thanks for all your messages of encouragement. And to you parents going through the same things, hang in there!!!

Jill

 

[Krisu]

Boys.............gotta love 'em

 

[kinlaw6450]

8?!?!?! My DS is just short of 7 and he has been doing stupid stuff all year! When does it get better???