Not Talking- Advice?

[dis-happy]

ST helped my son at age 2. His receptive speech was great, his expressive speech was really lagging. She managed to unlock him after just a few weeks and he's been talking non-stop every since. Sometimes I wish he talked less!

Anyway, it's great that your child is high on the receptive end, that's considered important and a predictor that he will catch up eventually. Do what you can to get him to talk (and repeat things after you) but try not to frustrate him. I used to seat my child in his high chair and give him m&m's to motivate him....I'd say something, dangle the candy in front of him and get him to repeat, then reward him. Sounds bad, but you do what you can as a mom. I aslo spent a lot of time enunciating words clearing and loudly. If he wanted more to eat, I'd say "mooooore?". It helped to just exagerate the one word that was necessary in the situation.

I also got my ds into preschool...sometimes kids will talk more around other little kids who are like them. It seemed to help.

Finally, check his hearing and have the ped check the ears. Infections, a lot of waxy build-up, they can contribute to making it hard for your child to hear the sounds (and thus be able to know what to say).

 

[donnajean17]

I would say don't wait! Find an early intervention program in your area (the school department may be able to help also) My DS was evaluated at about 2.5 and was said to be "developmentally delayed" regarding speech. He attended a developemental pre-school, got ST and now that he is in 1st grade still gets ST through the school. Improvements have been slow, but every child is different. If something is telling you something is not right, then do what you can to help. Pediatricians are great, but they see your child for maybe a half hour at a time a few times a year? You are with your child everyday and if something doesn't feel right then try to get help!

 

[rt2dz]

It might be something, but it might also be nothing.

There is a huge divide of normal. DS#2 was talking and carrying on conversations at 18 months. DS#1 barely said 5 words at 2yo. Around here, no ST or health service agency will see a child before 2yo. He was evaluated at 2yo and the ST said at that age, they concentrate on comprehension and his was around 5yo. At 2 ½ he was evaluated again, and found to be on the low end of acceptable for talking, but still in range. And since his comprehension was still so advanced and so were his motor skills (he walked, not took steps, but ran, at 8 months old) they let him be. A month later he started preschool and exploded with language. By 3yo I was wondering if he would ever shut up.

On the other hand… Because of DS#1 late talking, I didn’t pay too much attention to DS#3’s late talking as soon as I should have. He, too, understands everything and his cognitive skills are super advanced (ahead of DS#2). He is truly delayed though and is about to start seeing a ST for OT. The big difference between DS#1 and DS#3 is that DS#3 is socially immature; he’ll be 3 soon and acts more like a child who just turned 2yo (hitting, biting, screaming in frustration).

My advice is look at the big picture. Where are the social, motor and cognitive skills? Don’t try and force him to talk(refusing to hand him something until he says the word); it won’t work and can delay speaking even more. It builds a child’s frustration level that they can’t be understood. Instead, try and persuade him to talk. If he is otherwise on target, and even advanced, wait until 2yo to have him evaluated (you might have to anyhow). I wouldn’t, however, wait until 2 ½-3 yo; the worst the ST will say is he’s fine and wait. But if he is delayed, the sooner he gets help the better.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

My older DS (now 11) didn't walk until he was 18mo, didn't say a WORD until he was 2. He had medical issues also, and was evaluated through Early Intervention. A couple things to note: In NY, you needed a doctor's referral. My son's neurologist suggested it, I followed up with our regular doctor. You can't just call them. Also, the amount and availability of services varies by state and possibly by county. For example, our speech therapist commented on the McCaughey (sp?) sextuplets, and what she would have done with them (they were born about the time we received services). But she said their state only allowed X, which was so much less than the kids really needed.

With my son, we tried a bunch of things, and eventually moved his sessions to when his sister was in preschool. He improved 6 months in 6 weeks. Official diagnosis: He was a quiet kid with a chatty big sister!

Fast forward 10 years: He's a champion speller, really smart, loves to read, and won't shut up! I will say that he still isn't the clearest speaking kid I know. We suspect the underlying issue is, his brain works too fast for his mouth. Ditto for his hand--he has horrible handwriting.

I can't say enough good things about Early Intervention. It's quite possible that my son would have been fine eventually anyway, but for a lot of childhood "afflictions" (for lack of a better word), the earlier you work with the kid, the more positive the results.

 

[SnowWhite12]

We live close to Memphis, TN. And here for TN Early Intervention Services, it is required to have a doctor's order for the speech eval. So keep on to that doctor if it is required in your area as well. I had to keep basically begging DD's pediatrician for about 7 months. Finally she began speech therapy at age 2. She was about 70% delayed in the area of articulation by then. She has caught up a lot (now age 3 1/2), but still a little delayed. So now she receives speech at her area elem. school 2 mornings a week. She was like your child and could understand everything. She just couldn't say the words. Just don't give up. It is really not an uncommon problem and can be fixed.

 

[belle&beast]

I am a speech pathologist and currently I work with preschoolers, but I have worked in early intervention with 0-3 year olds. Please seek an evaluation if you are worried about his language development. There is a wide range of what is within the typical range, but until you have the evaluation by the speech pathologist-NOT pediatrician- you will not know exactly where you stand. Believe me, my job would be a lot easier now in preschools if kids had earlier diagnosis and doctors would refer when parents had concerns. Trust your instincts. You are the mom and you know your child best.

On a personal note, I actually switched pediatricians because mine would not listen to me when I had concerns about DS's ear infections and languiage development. It was the best thing I could have done.

 

[lastminutemom]

DO NOT let them average the receptive speech with the expressive speech if you want a a true picture of where your child is. Most likely, your child (and most others) are truly just late speakers but if they are normal cognitively but suffering from anything that impacts expressive language, this will skew your results and delay therapy.

 

[Princess-in-Training]

Hi there! Go with your gut and get him evaluated. My DS was a late talker and everyone told me not to worry. I didn't listen to them and got him evaluated anyway - and he qualified for free at-home speech therapy. He was 21 months old when he started therapy, maybe 19 months when he was evaluated. That was in FL.

Then we moved to VA when he was 2.5 and i had him evaluated here when he was 3. He still qualified for free speech therapy, at our local elementary school. Last May they "graduated" him out of the program and started Kindergarted delay-free this year.

It will not hurt in any way to get him evaluated! It can only help.

ALSO -- keep in mind that kids work on things at different paces. DS was slow to talk, but he was off-the-charts gross motor wise -- his brain was just working on his gross motor instead of speech. My DD (almost 3 now), started speaking in full, completely understandable sentences before she was 18 months old. But she was not as advanced gross-motor wise!

Anyway, best of luck! I don't know what services are available where you are, but contacting the speech therapist in your daughter's school may help or lead you in the right direction!

HTH!

 

[TexasBee]

I'm going to differ with most posters on here. I don't think I'd worry too much just yet. Because he's a boy, and has an older sibling, I would not worry as much - *in general* boys talk later than girls and 2nds talk later than firsts. There is usually a language explosion right around age 20 - 22 months. If he's still not talking much by about 25 - 26 months, then I'd move to get appts and have more concern.

Good luck, I know it's got you worried!

 

[bookwormde]

The program is an off shoot of IDEA and in my area is called “child find’

Not having an extended vocabulary at 18 months is not all that rare but does indicate that a formal evaluation in probably due.

One thing to remember is that if he is getting his needs met (you and other caretakers understand his needs without him needing to use words) why would he need to use them.

My niece talked very little until 3+ years old and then one day stated talking in complete, complex grammatically correct sentences with a middle school vocabulary, She is an Aspie so we figure it had a lot to do with her “perfectionism”.

bookwormde

 

[my*2*angels]

I have a 23 month old little girl and at 18 months she could not say but just a few words and only her dad and I could understand those! She has an older sister who could speak in complete sentences by this age, so I started getting concerned, but my ped. said she was fine. I would say around 20 months old she started saying all kinds of things and other people were able to understand her too. Now, she says just about anything, sometimes we still can't understand her, but she will repeat it a few times and we get it! I would say give it a couple of months! Two months made a huge difference for us!

 

[islangrl]

I'm going to differ with most posters on here. I don't think I'd worry too much just yet. Because he's a boy, and has an older sibling, I would not worry as much - *in general* boys talk later than girls and 2nds talk later than firsts. There is usually a language explosion right around age 20 - 22 months. If he's still not talking much by about 25 - 26 months, then I'd move to get appts and have more concern.

Good luck, I know it's got you worried!

I have to second this. I'm not a professional, so if you are concerned, then definitely get him screened. I just wouldn't worry too much. My son the youngest of four was the latest to talk, by more than 9 months. The doctor and the 10 books I consulted said it was probably a combination of him being a boy (they often talk later) and having older siblings who most of the time did the talking for him. His sister that is 13 months older did alot of translating when we had NO idea what he was saying, and she was always right. He may be "talking" and you just don't understand what he is saying . I hope everything goes well.

 

[tw1nsmom]

My older DS (now 11) didn't walk until he was 18mo, didn't say a WORD until he was 2. He had medical issues also, and was evaluated through Early Intervention. A couple things to note: In NY, you needed a doctor's referral. My son's neurologist suggested it, I followed up with our regular doctor. You can't just call them. Also, the amount and availability of services varies by state and possibly by county. For example, our speech therapist commented on the McCaughey (sp?) sextuplets, and what she would have done with them (they were born about the time we received services). But she said their state only allowed X, which was so much less than the kids really needed.

With my son, we tried a bunch of things, and eventually moved his sessions to when his sister was in preschool. He improved 6 months in 6 weeks. Official diagnosis: He was a quiet kid with a chatty big sister!

Fast forward 10 years: He's a champion speller, really smart, loves to read, and won't shut up! I will say that he still isn't the clearest speaking kid I know. We suspect the underlying issue is, his brain works too fast for his mouth. Ditto for his hand--he has horrible handwriting.

I can't say enough good things about Early Intervention. It's quite possible that my son would have been fine eventually anyway, but for a lot of childhood "afflictions" (for lack of a better word), the earlier you work with the kid, the more positive the results.

I'm so happy that you had a positive experience with early intervention.

However, I have to say that whoever told you that you needed a doctor's referral for an evaluation and services was dead wrong. While a doctor can provide a referral, a parents referral holds just as much weight and is the only thing necessary to start the evaluation process. I live in NY too and have worked as a volunteer lay advocate for children with special needs.

I get so frustrated with doctors (primary care and pediatricians alike) that don't seem to have an understanding of the services available to children. Some of them also don't seem to understand the benefit of early intervention at all.

I would really like to see all primary care physicians who treat children be required to take a seminar on available services. While it's true that some children will just learn in their own time, for others, waiting will waste valuable time that they could be receiving very necessary therapy.

 

[karliebug]

I would say to get an evaluation to ease your mind. My oldest DD only said a few words at first but then at age 2 began talking in complete sentences! It was as if she never really had anything important to say before that. My youngest was only screeching and crying at 8mths so I knew something was wrong. she should have been babbling in syllables. she did have speech therapy for about a year. She is 9 now, and of course won't ever shut up!

 

[stitch63]

Call Early Intervention immediately!! In central Indiana, it's called First Steps and they will set up evaluations for you. My son only had six words in his vocabulary around 18 months too. By the time we had services in place, he was two years old. He had a speech therapist and developmental therapist. The speech therapist believed that he had sensory issues that were impacting his learning. We then had him evaluated for an occupational therapist and he qualified. He did have sensory problems and we discovered that he never maintained eye contact. They said this is a major way children learn to talk. He spent one year in First Steps and was then transitioned to a predevelopment preschool for two years. He is now in Pre-K and is doing great! His vocabulary is very expansive and he has started learning his colors in spanish. Now we joke that we actually paid to have someone teach him to talk since he never shuts up!!! If you feel that something is not right, get something done immediately. Good luck!!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Thanks for the tip! Our Ped said it was too early to think about a ST. I will call around and see what I can find. Thanks.

-Becca-

Don't listen to the ped. You are his Mother. Parents know the child better than anyone. If you really truly thought it was okay you would not be questioning it. Call EI and get him evaluated. Good luck.

ETA-if you need a referral insist on it from your ped. Don't let them bully you into waiting.

 

[sl_underwood]

I think everyone has given you great advice. Just wanted to add, our speech therapist for my son gave me a wonderful book called It takes two to talk. This book helped teach me how to encourage language development with my son. I am not sure if I will get in trouble for posting an amazon link so pm me if you want more info on the book.

 

[amyj1024]

I thought I was reading this about my son. I called Early intervention last week because of the same concerns. I work with preschool/special ed and the SLP at my building gave some info to me regarding Expressive language and my son is definately behind in my eyes.
We are not awaiting the call to set up the evaluation. I would definately call, if it comes out fine, then it will put your mind at ease, and if not, then he will get the help he needs. I see 3 year olds that are WAY behind in speech and language and it is so hard for them socially as well.
Also, it is my experience that pediatricians (while I love mine) do not have a good concept of child development. My ped told me that frequent ear infections have nothing to do with speech problems, when I expressed concern for DD, and she began receiving speech at age 3.
Call, call, call...if you need the number usually your local school district will have the info for you as well.

 

[wbbrown36]

Another here who used early intervention. It's like play to kids and can't be anything but helpful. And it's free. And if you wait until 22 to 25 months you will likely barely be in the program receiving therapy by the time the child turns three. At that point you are in the hands of the school system. Much nicer to have a therapist come to your home!

If a child is using non-verbal communication (pointing, waving, head nods) and understanding things and has some words they usually catch up pretty fast.

 

[bumbershoot]

if he is getting frustrated, get help!!

He isn't frustrated by not talking, he's frustrated with his parent making him say a word before giving him what the parent KNOWS he wants.

"We have been trying to get him to say the word ie, "cup" when he wants a drink but he gets so upset that he usually ends up in tears and refuses the drink."


He's communicating. You get what he's saying, what he wants. He's doing fine. Stop insisting on his saying a word UNLESS you don't know what he wants.

He does have an older sister (she is 6). One day while she was at school he wouldn't stop fussing. It drove me to tears, nothing I did was right. She walks in and he runs over to her. He then whines (same thing I had been hearing all day) and she heads to the kitchen and trades his blue cup for his red cup and bam- the crying stopped. She tells me that he wanted his red cup. Really? Somedays I think I need to keep her home to help translate.

-Becca-

And if you don't understand, call in his sister who does, and then give him what he is asking for.


I was 2 when my brother was born, and he barely spoke until he was 3. He *didn't need to*. I understood what he said and what he wanted (even when he didn't say it). There was NO NEED for him to talk.

He's stinkin' brilliant, he has an incredible job at Cisco that he got after doing Air Force ROTC while getting an EE degree at Duke, and he's incredibly happy in life. And he's very generous with his big sis, possibly b/c I always knew what he wanted, LOL.



DS was 20ish months old and not talking much. He started signing just a bit (what I signed to him, so he was 100% but I didn't teach him much, LOL) at 6 months old (I signed from his arrival whereas many people START at 6 months old and then have to wait several months for baby to learn it), but didn't talk much. Called hubby "papa", called me "milk" (I don't speak in third person and hubby didn't call me anything but my name (which is what DS calls me now), so he called me the word that was associated with me) and not much else.

I'm not one for over-worrying, so I like to say I was just getting started to think about wondering if maybe I should find out if I should see if I should worry. And then we started watching Blue's Clues.

I talked to him all day long. Hubby talked to him once he got home from work, but hubby was working ALL the time. That job was brutal with the overtime!

Shortly after starting to watch Blue's Clues and having Steve or Joe talking "to" him a half hour at a time, he had a language explosion. I figured that it was the MALE voice in the room that made all the difference.

After DS was two I ran into my second cousin who had a son about the age that mine was before BC, and she was talking about the same thing. I mentioned Blue's Clues, she started watching it with her son, and the same thing happened.

We love Blue's Clues (especially with Steve...Joe bugs us) around here.