Not Sure Where to Post This

[bettymae1121]

Assuming you have it all done up by a lawyer that specializes in real estate, given all the other stuff you posted, I think your DH buying the house and just letting MIL live there is the best bet if she's dead set against the reverse mortgage. But that said, you need to do what you can to make sure she doesn't then get scamed out of the proceeds of the sale by BIL. Do your best to have her put the money in a place that isnt' very liquid and that she can't get at without you knowing about it, so you can step in if needed.

She'll need to invest the money someplace so she can earn interest to suppliment her income. Tax free municiple bonds would be one place to look, a fee-based financial advisor should be able to hook you up. The tend to earn about 4-5% returns and are about as safe as you can get (there is some slight risk, but it's generally considered extremely safe). This gets her income but keeps the bulk of the money tied up where she or your scumy BIL can't get to it.

And I agree with the other poster, you need to speak to an estate lawyer to draw up other things like power of attorny, wills, living trusts, advance medical directives, etc. so that if/when she can't care for herself, you can step in and carry out her wishes w/out having to battle the other sibs.

 

[Lucky4me]

Wow, 59?!
I think that's too young for a reverse mortgage anyway, not sure.

Describing your situation, I would say buy the house, fix it up, get mil some counseling so she'll see what a danger her one son is to her well being and health and go from there.
You as buyer, will incur the closing costs when it's sold, as well as your mil as seller.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

We would be buying it contract for deed and paying my MIL a monthly payment. My first home was a contract for deed and I bought it from a stranger. I paid a down payment but no closing costs. I figured it we buy it this way she will not have a huge amount of money from a sell. She will get a monthly contract payment. If she blows it or gives it to BIL it is only a month's worth not thousands.

 

[dreweyj]

I thought I'd chime in and provide you with my observations based upon my experience. I have worked in Mortgage Default for 10 years now, working with customers who fall behind on payments and/or face foreclosure.

In your situation, a reverse mortgage may work for your MIL, but the problem comes in that she still has her typical behavior. That means, if she's enabling your BIL now, she will continue to do that in the future unless she makes a concious choice to stop that behavior. What would prevent her from giving him handouts from the initial disbursement she would receive at closing? Or any future disbursements for that matter? It's hard to get out of a cycle. And for parents who love their children unconditionally, it's hard to say no - even though that might be in their best interest.

In regards to you buying the house, that may work. But you will need to be able to maintain any mortgage payments (unless you buy it outright with cash) and taxes/insurance while maintaining your existing home. Should something happen to your MIL, you will have the house in your name, but what about the things in it? If there is a will, your BIL can contest anything and everything in it.

For all of these reasons, it would be best to consult an attorney who is knowledge about estate planning AND real estate. It might be an expensive charge up front, but it's worth getting solid advice since your considering buying her property anyway. Plus, if your MIL thinks you buying the house is a great idea and goes along with it, you could use any attorney as a witness to the transaction. This would help build a safety net for later on in life should your BIL contest to the MIL's "state of mind" at the time the transaction was made. Sometimes civil disputes, as they are called, get VERY ugly and you can take steps to prevent as much of that from happening as possible.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

We will definately go through an atty. We will be able to pay all the taxes and insurance since we have only 3 mortgage payments before our home is paid in full. The buying of MILs house would not happen until late summer at the earliest.

 

[dreweyj]

Then it sounds like you're good to go and have thought it through. Just remember that pesky BIL never goes away... and that's one wish not even Disney can make come true

Seriously, though... best wishes and I hope it works out for you and your MIL. If only more people had a MIL as special as yours...