Not an unfair advantage

[oynk]

I've been meaning to post this, but am just now getting around to it. I've been going to WDW since long before my daughter was born and started having problems. So, I've experienced the parks both with a party member in a wheelchair (and a DAS card) and without. And, like many of you, I know the reality of touring with a child with a disability.

So, it always makes me furious when I'm telling someone about a trip and they say something like, "Yeah, but your lucky because your daughter has a wheelchair and you don't have to wait." Even when I try to explain the way it really works, no one really believes me.

Well, recently I got my proof. I took an adult only trip with some friends - so no special "privileges" Guess what? We were there for the week between Christmas and New Year's, the most crowded time ever and we got to ride and do just about everything - much more than I ever accomplish on trips with my daughter.

Without her, we could get there early and stay late. We could choose to wait in a long line if we wanted to. We could eat and go to the bathroom when we wanted to. For that matter, I could even walk faster without a wheelchair to push and people to weave around.

Please don't get me wrong, I love traveling with my child; but if we get more done than your able-bodied party, it's not because we somehow bilked the system.

 

[Shanti]

I'm sorry that people spoke to you in such a way that made you feel you had to post this. Just because some people make such crass remarks, realize that most others do not share their sentiments. Trips are definitely harder when you've got a family member with a severe disability, as is life itself. Some people are so self-absorbed and petty that they will begrudge every bit of help that the needy receive. It's pathetic, and nothing for you to be concerned about. Blessings to you and your daughter.

 

[DisneyOma]

I've been meaning to post this, but am just now getting around to it. I've been going to WDW since long before my daughter was born and started having problems. So, I've experienced the parks both with a party member in a wheelchair (and a DAS card) and without. And, like many of you, I know the reality of touring with a child with a disability.

So, it always makes me furious when I'm telling someone about a trip and they say something like, "Yeah, but your lucky because your daughter has a wheelchair and you don't have to wait." Even when I try to explain the way it really works, no one really believes me.

Well, recently I got my proof. I took an adult only trip with some friends - so no special "privileges" Guess what? We were there for the week between Christmas and New Year's, the most crowded time ever and we got to ride and do just about everything - much more than I ever accomplish on trips with my daughter.

Without her, we could get there early and stay late. We could choose to wait in a long line if we wanted to. We could eat and go to the bathroom when we wanted to. For that matter, I could even walk faster without a wheelchair to push and people to weave around.

Please don't get me wrong, I love traveling with my child; but if we get more done than your able-bodied party, it's not because we somehow bilked the system.

What you've described is the difference between a trip with a child and an adult only trip. Even going without a wheelchair/DAS, we've experienced the same when we've had children with us.

 

[Aliceacc]

Let me begin by saying that no one in my family is disabled, and that no one I know has ever used a DAS card. I only saw this thread because I hit "New Posts" and was curious.

Anyone who would even think, much less say out loud, that having a child with a disability makes you "lucky" is too ignorant to deal with.

Change the subject or walk away. It's not your job to eradicate ignorance, particularly on that scale.

 

[redberyl]

My daughter took a make a wish trip to Disney. I am trying to adopt again and people have actually asked me if I'm going to adopt another special needs children so I can get another free trip to Disney! The things people say. Disneyoma, I've taken several trips alone and several with multiple children ranging in age from 1-11. I've taken a trip with MAW perks with just one sick child. it is harder traveling with kids, yes, but there is just no comparing a trip with healthy kids to a trip with a special needs child.

 

[gap2368]

some people will always believe the grass is greener on the other side. I would just try to educate them on why it is not. if that is not an option then oh well they can believe what ever they want.

 

[DisneyOma]

My daughter took a make a wish trip to Disney. I am trying to adopt again and people have actually asked me if I'm going to adopt another special needs children so I can get another free trip to Disney! The things people say. Disneyoma, I've taken several trips alone and several with multiple children ranging in age from 1-11. I've taken a trip with MAW perks with just one sick child. it is harder traveling with kids, yes, but there is just no comparing a trip with healthy kids to a trip with a special needs child.

I agree, but the things the OP listed were things we've experienced with our own kids on trips.

 

[paisleys]

Agee Disneyoma. I recall one trip in early May with our toddlers a few years back where we literally went on just one ride. And that was only because another stressed parent handed us her Peter Pan fast passes as they fled the park.

 

[infopurposesonly]

I have two kids, many years apart. My son has no special needs. I took him to WDW once for spring break, before Fastpass. We opened and closed the parks and waited in lines all day, all week. Easy trip compared to any trip we've taken with my daughter who has multiple special needs. Even when she had the GAC, it was far more difficult with her than with my son.

 

[oynk]

I get what some people are saying about kids vs no kids, but my daughter is 12. And, even in the days when I was traveling with toddlers it still was very different.

 

[stitchlovestink]

My daughter took a make a wish trip to Disney. I am trying to adopt again and people have actually asked me if I'm going to adopt another special needs children so I can get another free trip to Disney! The things people say. Disneyoma, I've taken several trips alone and several with multiple children ranging in age from 1-11. I've taken a trip with MAW perks with just one sick child. it is harder traveling with kids, yes, but there is just no comparing a trip with healthy kids to a trip with a special needs child.

I agree, but the things the OP listed were things we've experienced with our own kids on trips.

So with your kids you experienced the "luxury" of waiting the extra time for the special wheelchair vehicle in the attraction? Or you needed the extra time to load because it takes extra time to transfer from the WC to the ride vehicle? Or you waited extra time to load because they are only allowed to have so many "disabled guests" on the attraction at a given time?
Or how about waiting extra long for the companion restroom because there are so few and some choose to use them when they "probably" could use other options. Or you need the largest stall but others think it is a changing room for princess dresses or they just take it because it the next available but it is the only one "you" can use?
I could NEVER compare my healthy children to my "differently" abled friends' children and say they were the same. That is just rude and a slap in the face to them IMHO.

 

[minnie mum]

Eh. I know what the reality is. My family knows what the reality is. I don't really care what anyone else thinks they know, although I'm happy to set the record straight for them should the occasion arise.

 

[gap2368]

every child is different whether with a disability or not some kids can do top drop to closing just fine ( with a nap in the stroller) other kids would have to go back to the hotel. just like some kids with disability can do just fine with accommodation ( a DAS card or a wheel chair) other not. I know for my self some times because I have to go and ask for a return time some times the CM will let me right on the ride ( happens a lot at space) but some times I just can not do any thing for 4 to 6 hours some times I have to skip a FP because I just can not do anything at the time. but all in all I think for most people the DAS or a wheel chair gives them an even playing field so that they can enjoy the parks just like every one else.

 

[DisneyOma]

So with your kids you experienced the "luxury" of waiting the extra time for the special wheelchair vehicle in the attraction? Or you needed the extra time to load because it takes extra time to transfer from the WC to the ride vehicle? Or you waited extra time to load because they are only allowed to have so many "disabled guests" on the attraction at a given time?
Or how about waiting extra long for the companion restroom because there are so few and some choose to use them when they "probably" could use other options. Or you need the largest stall but others think it is a changing room for princess dresses or they just take it because it the next available but it is the only one "you" can use?
I could NEVER compare my healthy children to my "differently" abled friends' children and say they were the same. That is just rude and a slap in the face to them IMHO.

What you're saying to me sounds like all disabled kids are more difficult to handle, and they always need special something or other that other people shouldn't be using. Or that only people with special needs should have access to certain things - or am I reading it wrong? If I am, I'm sorry, but the companion restrooms are not just for WC, nor is the accessible stall. I need the accessible stall for the higher toilet sometimes.

I get the wait for access due to WC issue though. That's a valid concern, but some of the wait is also reflected on the other guests as well - the ones already on the attraction when it comes to a stop to load, or those waiting behind. It doesn't affect just the person in the WC.

I work with students with special needs of all levels and abilities. We've gone to amusement parks together. I've even chaperoned a Disney trip. I've also been on a WDW trip with 12 other family members. I'd have to say the family trip was the hardest, and the chaperone trip was on par with traveling with my own kids. None were as easy as the multiple trips adult daughter and I take.

I've traveled with a husband who couldn't handle all day in the parks, a niece who couldn't handle shopping for gifts for her parents, a DIL who can't handle when others get cranky. One trip youngest daughter had diarrhea for 2 out of the 4 days of our trip. We got out of multiple queues that time. That's on top of my issues of having to stay out of the sun, some anxiety stuff, and panic attacks. There's no steadfast rule that says one person is going to have a harder time at WDW than any other. Everyone is an individual, every vacation is unique. (I'd prefer not to have to do the diarrhea trip ever again)

 

[limabeanmom2003]

People say the silliest things, don't they? Most of the time I don't think they even realize how their words can be taken. There are many day to day struggles experienced by families with special needs kids that families with "normal" kids don't understand simply because they haven't experienced it.

 

[sharadoc]

Oh yes. I remember when we did the switchover to the DAS from the GAC, and I tried to explain the difficulty of taking a child with special needs, and the help that the GAC gave us was appreciated and made a family vacation possible. Boy was I attacked!!! Literally people said "who do you think you are etc." I ignored it, but it is frustrating when folks only see the "good" (from their pov) and don't understand the difficulty of daily life with a child with special needs.

 

[zela02]

I had a similar discussion with my husband this morning, in terms of people who work with, or know, children with special needs, and truly believe they understand what it's like to raise a child with a disability. I have worked with children with special needs, and I have a daughter with significant autism, mild CP and a mild vision impairment. Unless you have a child with a disability you simply cannot understand the daily, ongoing, lifelong struggles we go through. I will say the exact words I said to my husband, "She (referencing someone in our life) can never truly understand what our life is like, and truly hope she never does. Because, to have that understanding, it must come from living it. I wouldn't WANT someone to HAVE to go through that."

In addition, I also have a typical son. Please trust, toddlerhood, and every stage before and after, was an ENTIRELY different experience between the two. There truly is no comparison.

 

[5kidsmommy]

I had a similar discussion with my husband this morning, in terms of people who work with, or know, children with special needs, and truly believe they understand what it's like to raise a child with a disability. I have worked with children with special needs, and I have a daughter with significant autism, mild CP and a mild vision impairment. Unless you have a child with a disability you simply cannot understand the daily, ongoing, lifelong struggles we go through. I will say the exact words I said to my husband, "She (referencing someone in our life) can never truly understand what our life is like, and truly hope she never does. Because, to have that understanding, it must come from living it. I wouldn't WANT someone to HAVE to go through that."

In addition, I also have a typical son. Please trust, toddlerhood, and every stage before and after, was an ENTIRELY different experience between the two. There truly is no comparison.

And even within the spectrum kids are so different. Our youngest and our second oldest are on the spectrum. When our youngest was diagnosed I thought it would be no biggie, I was used to it but alas it is a spectrum. It has been a whole different ballgame with our youngest, although we have never seen the need to use GAC or DAS with him, mostly because our family is too large and we'd have to split up which would just cause other issues, so we adapted, which is something we are used to. And we tend to go at slower times, so it's never been too bad. I am glad though that Disney gives the option and I'd never wish anyone to walk in our shoes.

 

[jtopp]

I also have heard that "lucky you don't have to wait" line. I would trade any assumed advantage to not have my child need that help, but so many ignorant people still believe its a blessing.

 

[Vijoge]

So, it always makes me furious when I'm telling someone about a trip and they say something like, "Yeah, but your lucky because your daughter has a wheelchair and you don't have to wait." Even when I try to explain the way it really works, no one really believes me.

Perpetuating this myth are the people who return from their Disney vacation and proceed to tell everyone how "it was great traveling with my MIL. She's in a wheelchair so we got to go to the front of ALL the lines." I read these comments on websites all the time. It's no wonder people believe it's true.