Non-Disney vow renewal (Need thoughts, please. Also, it's long)

[Ember]

So for those who don't know, only three months after our wedding, my husband moved across country to do his PhD. For many and various reasons I wasn't able to go with him and we've been doing the long distance thing for a year now and will continue to do so for another year.

On of the things I said when I was mad one day, was that I thought we had a stupid marriage and that I sometimes wished we had waited. (Back story - we had been together for 10 years prior to getting married and planned the wedding before we knew he would be going.) It wasn't a nice thing to say, and I wish I could take it back. But I was hurting and mad, and it came out. I honestly don't regret marrying my husband, not in any way, shape, or form. But I do feel cheated sometimes and we never got to be "newlyweds." It should have been a romantic time in our lives, instead of one filled with all the conflicting emotions of a long distance relationship.

This brings me to the vow renewal. Even thought it will only have been two years since we got married, my husband would like to renew our vows. To give us a chance to be newlyweds again and re-affirm that our relationship is still strong after two years apart. I feel two years is too short a time, even with these unique circumstances. But I am willing to honor his wanting of this, as it was my words that caused him to want to do it in the first place.

I've told him it will just be the two of us, no one else needs to be there (and I would feel embarrassed after only two years). I've also said that I'm not planing another wedding. I've done that and it was perfect. I feel no need to re-create that day. So we've decided we'll fly to England and renew our vows in the church my grandparents were married in - just the two of us, nothing big or elaborate.

So here's my questions (finally, I know!):

Does it seem ridiculous to be doing this, even though no one else is involved?

Is it stupid to want to wear a white dress again, though a much more simple one, just to feel pretty that day? Or to have a photographer snap a few photos to put in the back of our wedding album?

Other than my very best friends and my mother, I don't even plan to tell people we're doing this. I don't want people to think I'm after attention, or anything.

Anyway, I think I just wanted to talk about the situation a little. Thanks for listening.

 

[hiwaygal]

You know once someone understands what you two have been through, it seems to me that you have every right to wear a white dress, have a photographer, and celebrate just like newlyweds.

From my perspective, you kinda will be because of your circumstances. Even though legally you are married you haven't quite yet experienced all the things "normal" newlyweds experience and you will now as you bring your lives back to one place together.

Maybe even this time you can "enjoy" the emotions and importance of the day. For most of us, I think we are too wrapped up in all the things we planned, our schedule, etc on our wedding day and we end up thinking it went too fast. We wish we could experience it all again and maybe appreciate it a little more.

I think you are kinda lucky...you get to do just that!

 

[Chedstro]

I just think it is amazingly wonderful that your husband "stepped up to the plate" and wants to do this for you.

Your plan sounds great and very meaningful to both of you. There is nothing to be embarassed about whenever you want to do a Vow Renewal. LOL, every year sounds good to me.Enjoy it with your wonderful husband

 

[padisneyfour]

There is no set rule about when to do a VR, pretty much a matter of choice
and circumstances.... being separated for so long imo would def be one of those circumstances . good luck with your plans

 

[lurkyloo]

So we've decided we'll fly to England and renew our vows in the church my grandparents were married in - just the two of us, nothing big or elaborate.

Oh my goodness, that is SO romantic! I think it's a wonderful idea! Before I found out about Disney weddings, I really wanted to elope because, to me, it's really only about two people and their commitment to each other. And this would allow you two to really focus on that and your fresh start - there's no way it could turn into another Big Deal.

Now, of course you'll want a way to remember the day, so of course there need to be pictures. And since there are pictures, why not a pretty white dress - plus a smart-looking fascinator like lots of English brides wear!