I'm a little late to this discussion, but here's an editorial than ran in my small hometown newspaper yesterday. It was written by a reporter for the Joplin (Missouri) Globe, and is now, apparently, being reprinted in other papers (I don't live in Missouri).
June 25, 2010
Mike Pound: Potter park disappointment
By Mike Pound Globe Staff Writer
Orlando, Fla. How bad could it be?
That was the question I asked myself when I found out that we would be attending the grand opening of the new Harry Porter theme park at Universal Studios in Orlando, Fla.
We didnt intend to go to the grand opening of the Harry Potter theme park at Universal Studios but, after we blocked out a week for a vacation, we discovered that the Harry Potter theme park didnt open until the last full day of our vacation.
Since our 12-year-old daughter, Emma, really, really, really, really, really, really wanted to go to the Harry Potter theme park, we decided we would go on opening day.
How bad could it be? I asked.
Answer: How many Harry Potter books have been sold in the past 10 years?
When we started walking into the park I noticed that it was crowded but not overly crowded. I took that to be a good sign. But, when we got closer to the park, I saw a long line of people backed up as far as I could see. I took that to be a bad sign.
This isnt a line, I said to my wife and Emma. This is Woodstock.
Whats Woodstock? Emma asked.
It doesnt matter, I said.
The three of us stood in the Woodstock-like line. It was hot. The sun was shining down brightly and there was no shade. After about 20 minutes we noticed that the Woodstock-like line hadnt moved. My wife, thinking that perhaps we were in the line for people trying to purchase tickets, asked a guy standing next to us if he had tickets.
Yeah, he said. My family is already inside. They got here at 7 and didnt get in until 10.
I took that to be a bad sign.
It was beginning to dawn on me that we probably werent going to get into the Harry Potter theme park. Even if we did get in, I reasoned, there would be nowhere to move in the park. The problem, as far as I good see, was that we had a 12-year-old girl who was really, really, really, really looking forward to seeing the Harry Potter theme park.
But, hey, life is full of disappointments. Its time that Emma experienced a few. Its time that Emma learns that she doesnt always get what she wants. That life isnt fair. That sometimes life gives you lemons. So I decided to break the news to her bluntly. I decided to treat our 12-year-old daughter like an adult.
Emma, I said. Im buying you a car.
Ha. I joke. Nope, what I did was explain the situation to Emma. I explained that it was going to take hours to get into the park. I explained that once we got into the park it would take hours before she would be able to ride one of the rides, and hours after that before she would be able to ride another one.
Emma was disappointed. Heck, I was disappointed. So was my wife. But Emma was also realistic. But not so realistic that she didnt hold a slight grudge.
This park is jank, is what Emma said.
If you dont know, what Emma was saying was: This park sucks.
But our trip to Universal Studios wasnt all bad. It just so happens the Woodstock-like line we were standing in was right next to Jimmy Buffetts place where my wife drowned her sorrows in a margarita, I drowned mine in a beer and Emma drowned hers in a Coke.
After a while, Emma was able to smile and later she even laughed about the Woodstock-like line.
But Im sorry, Universal folks. Emma still thinks your park is jank.
I guess word is spreading about how poorly Universal managed the opening of WWOHP.