No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

[DMass]

Last year as I was planning our annual trip to WDW I noticed that fares from their city to MCO were very reasonable. I offered to pay for their rooms at POP during free dining and offered to buy their airfare. Unfortunately it turned ugly when they refused to go on the cheaper flights out of their airport and insisted I buy them in another city so they could stretch their vacation with a visit to a casino.

They refused to go on a cheap flight for free?! That would be the last time I offered to pay for anything for them. From now on I would tell them if they want to go they pay their own way.

If someone wanted to take me to WDW for free,I'm there. Even if it meant I had to ride in the back of a truck with farm animals.

I know they're your family but don't let them walk all over you.

 

[mickeysgal]

If someone wanted to take me to WDW for free,I'm there. Even if it meant I had to ride in the back of a truck with farm animals.

That could be a tag.

 

[Motherofboys]

Wow, why in the world do you keep giving to people who don't appreciate it? Just because they are family? Is that really a good enough reason?

Do you want your kids to think they should have to pay for you to come visit them and their kids?

Your parents should want to come and see you and the grandkids, not on your dime either. You said they are financially comfortable, so there is no excuse at all. Would they rather spend their money at the casino or come see you and the kids?

If it's the casino, then I guess you know where you rank in their list of priorities. Time to re-evaluate the relationship, I would think.

 

[bettymae1121]

No advice on what do now, but in the future just don't offer anything towards their travel expenses. And I'd seperate "trips to visit family" and "trips to Disney" for the time being. If you want to see your family, take a trip to where they live and see them, or invite them to your home (and have them pay their own way). As for Disney trips, either don't tell them your going to Disney at all, or tell them "We'll be at Disney on X date, hope to see you all there!" Don't even help them plan or book, let them figure it out on their own. If they ask you to pay for part of it, tell them it's just not in your budget to pay for them this time around. They'll probably groan and moan about it but after a couple of times hearing "no", they'll likely get the hint that the free ride on the gravy train is over.

 

[ols386]

Op, I wouldn't buy the purse. Your family sure doesn't sound appreciative at all about the things you do for them. Why are you paying for their expenses, when you said they are financially comfortable? It sounds like they are taking advantage of you, and you are letting them do it.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

There is absolutely NO WAY IN THIS WORLD I would buy her a coach bag. You offered the money so she could come vacation with you, not as a free hand out or a crazy expensive gift. She sounds super selfish. From this point on let everyone pay their own way and spend your money on your husband and kids.

 

[sbell111]

My wife and I had an 'ungrateful family' convo just yesterday. What we decided is that there comes a time when an appropriate gift for family is a nice card to let them know that you thought of them. Too many people are concumed by the expectation of booty and need a course correction.

To bring it back to teh OP's issue, I would feel free to let them know when I planned on going on vacation (if I felt like dealing with them during my vacation), but they would be paying their own way.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

If my family said things like that to me I would tell them many DIS-inappropriate things. Just wow.

 

[jenrose66]

I say cut ties and be happy you live so far away from your family.