No flames please, just my observation and thoughts!

[poohandwendy]

In my decade and a half of teaching high school I've taught a number of pregnant girls and even a few girls who admitted they were actively trying to get pregnant. I think the great majority fall into these categories:

1. Those who weren't really thinking about getting pregnant and who weren't using birth control (or who weren't using it consistantly or who weren't using it correctly). I don't think this is an "accident" -- it's just a failure to prepare.
2. Some girls get pregnant on purpose because they think it will "cement" their relationship to the child's father. The girl believes that her boyfriend will never leave her, that they'll then be a happy little family . . .
3. Some girls get pregnant on purpose because they have no love in their lives and they think they'll get what they're missing from the baby.

I've seen teen mothers make the best of a bad situation (I've seen more make a mess of a bad situation), but I have not talked one yet who -- if she could go back in time -- wouldn't have delayed the pregnancy a few more years; this doesn't mean they don't love the child, but they realize too late what they've given up to have the baby at such a young age.

Exactly, that is what I saw with girls in that circumstance too. There was also another common thread, many had absent, emotionally unavailable or abusive fathers.

 

[cstraub]

I am also one of those statistics. I had my first child at 19. I did not realize that antibiotics made the pill null and void? I guess if I had read the insert that came with the pills I would know that, but face it, at 18, I was not going to read the insert. I have never once been on welfare. I went to work with the local hospital when I was still 19 and worked for them for 15 years. With that being said, and lesson learned, I did not have my second until I was 28 years old. I was not ready for another child until then. I have never had any interest in attending college. Right now not only am I raising my two biological children (oldest will turn 20 this year) I am also raising my step son and 3 beautiful girls that I have had the priviledge of adopting after their mother passed away. This April hubby and I will be celebrating our 5th year anniversary. If I had to do one thing, JUST ONE THING, over again, I would change the fact that my adopted daughters mother passed away. I would still raise them, no problem in that, but they would get the chance to spend time with her. They were too young to remember her. The oldest was only 4 and she will be turning 9 this week. My, how time flies!

Hugs to you for doing such a noble thing and raising your friend's daughters!

I was 19 when I had my DS (now 14). It all worked out!