No flames please, just my observation and thoughts!

[DMickey28]

This is just my own personal thought, and everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and what is right for them.

I am currently reading and posting on a few Pregnancy forums. DH and I are TTC our first. I continue to be amazed by the number for teenagers, 18-20 years that are on them trying to get pregnant with their boyfriends. Some of them I don't know the ages, but you can tell in the wording and "language". One has a count down to her Still-a-teen birthday. There was one I read that I swear she had to still be in Hs.

That's just my thought and opinion. When I was that age, I was petrified that I would have one of those miraculous conceptions and was scared of going to 3rd base....nevermind.. you know!

ETA: My dog hit enter before i was ready! These are just my thoughts but everytime I read those it makes me scratch my head.

 

[mtemm]

not sure what sites you are on, but check out parentsplace. most of the people there tend to be in the 20s/30s who are ttc. In fact, I don't remember a single person who was in their teens trying. Judging by how quickly I got pg in my 30s, I'm guessing if I had been interested then I wouldn't have even had time to post on a ttc board. lol.

good luck to you!!!!!

 

[Alicnwondrln]

wow. That is scary i was in college before I even you know and DH was a V. I had my 1st ds when i was 24 and many still think i was to young. I cant imagine having a kid at that age I would have been terrified. Make me wonder where these kids parents where.

 

[luvmydogs]

I worked at Planned Parenthood as a counselor, and let me tell you, some of these teenage girls (we did not see males) would come in with their friends giggling and all excited about taking pregnancy tests. Honestly, they treated it as a day out with the girls shopping or something--like entertainment.

We'd hear it all: "We're trying for a baby!" (But you're 16!!!); "My boyfriend wants a baby soooooo bad!" (I hope he's able to find a job to support this baby considering he's 14.); "No, we don't use birth control--we don't believe in it." ( But you believe in dropping out of high school, working a minimum wage job, and how the joy of having a baby will keep you together forever?); and a little OT: "I can't have herpes! He said he's *never* been with anyone else!" And the best line I actually ever heard form a parent: "She can't be pregnant! We drive a Mercedes!" The things we'd hear were unbelievable.

It never ceased to amaze me that these young girls thought it was "cool" to try to get pregnant--so young, the proverbial babies having babies, a right of passage, and proof of adulthood. We'd talk to them until we were blue in the face about the dangers and consequences of teen and unprotected sex, but we so many times got the "talk to the hand." They always knew better.

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

If you're looking at TTC board, man you are braver than I am!

I remember when DH and I were trying for DS. I went on a few TTC boards to try and get some advice, support, etc. I was scared off of most of them by olderish (and by olderish I mean late 30's into their 40's or so)women who decided to jump and scream and throw hissyfits because I decided I was not willing to turn my entire life upside down in pursuit of a baby.

TOV

 

[DisMN]

I worked at Planned Parenthood as a counselor, and let me tell you, some of these teenage girls (we did not see males) would come in with their friends giggling and all excited about taking pregnancy tests. Honestly, they treated it as a day out with the girls shopping or something--like entertainment.

We'd hear it all: "We're trying for a baby!" (But you're 16!!!); "My boyfriend wants a baby soooooo bad!" (I hope he's able to find a job to support this baby considering he's 14.); "No, we don't use birth control--we don't believe in it." ( But you believe in dropping out of high school, working a minimum wage job, and how the joy of having a baby will keep you together forever?); and a little OT: "I can't have herpes! He said he's *never* been with anyone else!" And the best line I actually ever heard form a parent: "She can't be pregnant! We drive a Mercedes!" The things we'd hear were unbelievable.

It never ceased to amaze me that these young girls thought it was "cool" to try to get pregnant--so young, the proverbial babies having babies, a right of passage, and proof of adulthood. We'd talk to them until we were blue in the face about the dangers and consequences of teen and unprotected sex, but we so many times got the "talk to the hand." They always knew better.

You just described my daughter to a *T*. Talk about horror knowing we, as her parents, had no rights. Those were awful days.

How icky to be on those boards with teens who are talking about wanting to be pregnant. It makes me scratch my head too......

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

I guess most teenage girls don't realize how much *WORK* is involved in having a child. Or how expensive it really is.

But then again..neither did I, until we had DS.

Sleep deprivation, screaming infants who can projectile puke 6 feet or better, oddly colored poop, disposable diapers, odd rashes that come out of NOWHERE and puke stains on your clothes are not for the weak stomached nor faint hearted.

TOV

 

[tiggersmom2]

Well, I got preganant at 17...by accident, and everyone and their cousins wanted me to have an abortion....not. I just couldn't kill a baby....sorry. My 1st son is now 12 years old and I completed high school and earned 2 bachelors degrees.

I now have 2 wonderful sons and hope to add to the family. You can't always judge a teen parent....some go on to make wonderful lives.

ETA: This is so fitting for my 5,000 post.

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

Ya know, you're one of the few I know of/heard of that's actually gone on to DO something with their life instead of becoming a Welfare Wilma.

TOV

 

[luvmydogs]

I just wanted to make this clear to anyone who reads this, and I'm not directing this at you, tiggersmom2--your post just made me think of this. We never *once* advocated abortion to anyone--in fact, I can't tell you how many times we had to refuse parents' demands for abortions for their daughters. We tried to educate these girls and their parents about responsibility and consequences. We also provided pre-natal care and high-risk referrals.

Now, I'm sure the abortion controversy is not the direction the OP wants this thread to take, so I won't comment further. Pregnancy, childbirth and child-rearing are difficult under the best of circumstances, and having teens (or anyone else) treat such a life-altering decision with such dismissiveness is disheartening to say the least--I believe that's the attitude to which the OP is referring.

 

[Nik's Mom]

It makes me very sad. They have no idea what they are getting themselves in to. I was 29 when I had my first baby, and even then, dh and I were shell-shocked for the first few weeks!
I just wanted to add that I have several students (I'm a college counselor) who have small children. I believe with a good support system (usually their parents), they can still go to college, get their degree and live a very productive life.

 

[goofygirl]

Its too bad science hasn't advanced enough so that every child gets sterilized at birth.... and then the sterilzation would get undone once they reached adulthood and were ready to start a family.


Teen pregnancy disgusts me. The teen years are for opening books, not legs. It always did disgust me, whether its planned or "by accident"- a term which I think is ridiculous- it sounds like "Oops! His thing accidently slipped into me without me realizing and now I am pregnant!" It sounds like you had no control over what you were doing. (unless you were raped) Skidding on the road is an accident, falling down the steps is an accident. Getting pregnant is NOT an "accident", its not an "oops", nor any other "cute" term.

 

[tiggersmom2]

I just wanted to make this clear to anyone who reads this, and I'm not directing this at you, tiggersmom2--your post just made me think of this. We never *once* advocated abortion to anyone--in fact, I can't tell you how many times we had to refuse parents' demands for abortions for their daughters. We tried to educate these girls and their parents about responsibility and consequences. We also provided pre-natal care and high-risk referrals.

Now, I'm sure the abortion controversy is not the direction the OP wants this thread to take, so I won't comment further. Pregnancy, childbirth and child-rearing are difficult under the best of circumstances, and having teens (or anyone else) treat such a life-altering decision with such dismissiveness is disheartening to say the least--I believe that's the attitude to which the OP is referring.

I know you weren't referring to me sweetie. I am pro-choice...imagine that!!! Just not for ME. I don't think anyone should have a say in a woman's reproductive choice but her.

 

[luvmydogs]

I know you weren't referring to me sweetie. I am pro-choice...imagine that!!! Just not for ME. I don't think anyone should have a say in a woman's reproductive choice but her.

In rereading what I said, I surely hope I didn't offend--I know I said I wasn't directing it at you, but it does look that way. I tend to get a little defensive about PP--there are so many misconceptions--and I truly apologize if I came on too strongly.

I appreciate your kind response, tiggersmom2, and congratulate you on being a responsible, caring and example-setting parent.

 

[tiggersmom2]

In rereading what I said, I surely hope I didn't offend--I know I said I wasn't directing it at you, but it does look that way. I tend to get a little defensive about PP--there are so many misconceptions--and I truly apologize if I came on too strongly.

I appreciate your kind response, tiggersmom2, and congratulate you on being a responsible, caring and example-setting parent.

Thank you so much so much sweetie....and I never felt offended. I am one of the very few "lucky ones"....I had a ton of family to help out. I think PP is a wonderful resource for so many teens.

 

[minkydog]

Well, I got preganant at 17...by accident, and everyone and their cousins wanted me to have an abortion....not. I just couldn't kill a baby....sorry. My 1st son is now 12 years old and I completed high school and earned 2 bachelors degrees.

I now have 2 wonderful sons and hope to add to the family. You can't always judge a teen parent....some go on to make wonderful lives.

ETA: This is so fitting for my 5,000 post.

Good for you. I'm sure there are other mothers like you who decided to do the right thing, who went on to make something of their lives. Unfortunately, the only ones we hear about are the "welfare moms" who keep cranking out kids to get a check. It's good to hear from a mom who made good in spite of a rough start. You go girl

 

[MrsKreamer]

Op, I know what you mean!!! I used to post on the Huggies message boards and there were sooooo many kids on there. I mean one girl was 14 and having twins, this was awhile back, and I just felt so sorry for her. Good luck on TTC, I will send some fertile vibes your way!

 

[Planogirl]

Ages 18 to 20 isn't so bad, it's the much younger ones that really get to me. Why be tied down to children so early?

Back in the dark ages when I was a teen, there were plenty of teenagers having babies but it never seemed to be as desired as it is now. So many kids want to be pregnant from what I understand and it boggles my mind.

 

[Caradana]

My sense is that this is such a regional, socioeconomic thing. I didn't know anyone - ANYONE - pregnant younger than 24, and the 24-year-old was married and got accidentally pregnant on the pill when she was put on hard-core anti-seizure meds. This was among private schools in New Jersey, both high school and college.
Seriously. Not a soul. I think in my class of 550 girls at college, one got pregnant. She had the baby and stayed in school, a choice I truly respected. Must've been absolutely draining/exhausting.

 

[Planogirl]

I knew quite a few girls who had no interest in college and were eager to get married and start families. I think that it has become more of a big deal for girls to go on to college than it was 20 years ago. Sadly enough, not going to college wasn't anything unusual back then.