No face to face communication

[sapdaddy2]

My family and I didn't walk into a restaurant to just observe the rest of the customers. The whole observation was at first only a minute with some glances now and then. We were in that restaurant for way over an hour and discussing a number of topics. The whole conversation started when my DS14 started showing us that other people can use their phones in a restaurant why can't I?

This is not the only place I have observed people ignoring family around them because of a cell phone. I took my 5 YO nephew to a park last fall when the whole time I was there a father ignored his daughter because of a personal call. I could tell it was a call that could have waited because he talked so loud. All the while he daughter wanted daddy's attention and he kept shrugging her off.

The point of my post is it is so sad that we find the use of technology to be so more important than the people around us.

 

[phorsenuf]

My family and I didn't walk into a restaurant to just observe the rest of the customers. The whole observation was at first only a minute with some glances now and then. We were in that restaurant for way over an hour and discussing a number of topics. The whole conversation started when my DS14 started showing us that other people can use their phones in a restaurant why can't I?

This is not the only place I have observed people ignoring family around them because of a cell phone. I took my 5 YO nephew to a park last fall when the whole time I was there a father ignored his daughter because of a personal call. I could tell it was a call that could have waited because he talked so loud. All the while he daughter wanted daddy's attention and he kept shrugging her off.

The point of my post is it is so sad that we find the use of technology to be so more important than the people around us.

I was out to dinner one time with 3 of my kids. All of us had our noses in our phones. I'm sure you would have found it offensive. Little would you have known we were all playing scrabble with each other. We had a nice dinner and a game night all in one!

 

[Colleen27]

We generally impose a "no electronics at the table" rule but there are always exceptions - DH can't ignore work calls even if they come at inconvenient times, sometimes I need to check in on my work e-mail account, sometimes there's other unusual circumstances involved.

On one of our dinner stops on our last road trip, DD, her BFF, and I all had our phones out texting/e-mailing... because we'd been in the car for about 6 hours with spotty/no signal as we drove through the mountains. We had plenty of time to chat on the ride so I made an exception to the "no electronics" rule to check in while we had wi-fi and a dependable signal.

 

[aprilgail2]

Let's see, you have no idea if...
A family had been traveling long distance and has been talking for hours.

LOL- last summer my daughter and I had just spent an entire week together, its just the two of us so we were together the entire week, we were then in the car for 6 hours talking and stopped at a cracker barrel on the way home, as soon as we sat down we both whipped out our phones and started texting people, checking our email, facebook etc. I looked up and saw someone looking at us and all I thought was "this person thinks we are antisocial and don't communicate with each other".

 

[worm761]

My family and I didn't walk into a restaurant to just observe the rest of the customers. The whole observation was at first only a minute with some glances now and then. We were in that restaurant for way over an hour and discussing a number of topics. The whole conversation started when my DS14 started showing us that other people can use their phones in a restaurant why can't I?

This is not the only place I have observed people ignoring family around them because of a cell phone. I took my 5 YO nephew to a park last fall when the whole time I was there a father ignored his daughter because of a personal call. I could tell it was a call that could have waited because he talked so loud. All the while he daughter wanted daddy's attention and he kept shrugging her off.

The point of my post is it is so sad that we find the use of technology to be so more important than the people around us.

I understand the point you are trying to make but you don't know the situations. Sure, when we go out both DH and DS are playing on their phones. DD and I will either play a game on mine or color. The point of going out to a restaurant is to do something different than we do every single day. No electronics are allowed at MY dinner table. But at a restaurant? That is my break. I don't have to cook or clean or anything else. And if the kids want to veg I am cool with that.

As for the dad at the playground...ever see the parents sit and chat and ignore the kids? Happens every single time I am at a playground. And I have been going since before technology invaded our lives. DS is 17 and DD is 4. It hasn't changed that some parents will just ignore the kids unless they are crying. Technology did not change that.

And the use of technology isn't more important than those around us. You are only observing a moment of other peoples lives. One moment doesn't mean that they don't communicate. Just that you don't see them doing it.

 

[cabanafrau]

Is it just me, or is this thread begging to be cross checked with the posters & their opinions on the government aid for food thread? I don't have the inclination to spend the time, but it would amuse me to no end to find somone on here, opining how other people spend their time in a restaurant, but insisting it's not okay to opine on the other issue because it's nobody's business?

 

[Laura66]

I've noticed this behavior a lot, too, eating out. My DH and I are guilty of it sometimes if we are waiting at the end of the meal for the check or something, but we try to make an effort to put away the phones. Even though DD is just seven months old, we both agree we want to set limits on screen time...and putting devices away at the dinner table will be one part of that.

We were put last weekend and a middle boys basketball team was eating out and the boys were split up into a few booths with the coaches/parents at another table. ALL the boys spent nearly the whole time on their phones. When I was their age, being at a restaurant with my other 12 year old friends would have been time for lots of talking and laughing. Not so with this group. And, no, making an observation about other diners didn't mean that I spent the whole meal not focusing on my family and judging everyone else.

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Well since you only have a little one - I'll address the basketball boys observation. Youngest DD is on a travel basketball team - last week we had tournaments all day Saturday and Sunday! That's a lot of basketball and togetherness with your team mates. We usually find somewhere to grab dinner between or after games! Sometimes the kids like to socialize and sometimes they need some down time on their devices!

 

[Laura66]

My family and I didn't walk into a restaurant to just observe the rest of the customers. The whole observation was at first only a minute with some glances now and then. We were in that restaurant for way over an hour and discussing a number of topics. The whole conversation started when my DS14 started showing us that other people can use their phones in a restaurant why can't I?

This is not the only place I have observed people ignoring family around them because of a cell phone. I took my 5 YO nephew to a park last fall when the whole time I was there a father ignored his daughter because of a personal call. I could tell it was a call that could have waited because he talked so loud. All the while he daughter wanted daddy's attention and he kept shrugging her off.

The point of my post is it is so sad that we find the use of technology to be so more important than the people around us.

Again - judge much!

Being at at home mom - there were some days you just had to get outa the house! Between making and feeding meals, playing with them, having them follow you into the toilet etc. - You need a change of pace!
Sometimes I played with my kids and sometimes my kids understood they needed to make friends and entertain themselves! Mommy is gabbing to her friends or checking her phone or browsing thru a magazine!

 

[worm761]

Again - judge much!

Being at at home mom - there were some days you just had to get outa the house! Between making and feeding meals, playing with them, having them follow you into the toilet etc. - You need a change of pace!
Sometimes I played with my kids and sometimes my kids understood they needed to make friends and entertain themselves! Mommy is gabbing to her friends or checking her phone or browsing thru a magazine!

A friend and I used to meet at the park so the boys could run off energy when they were little. We would then quilt. She was teaching me! Though we did always keep an eye on the kids.

 

[vacationer1954]

This is not the only place I have observed people ignoring family around them because of a cell phone.

You're still assuming that the cellphone is the cause of what you claim is the problem instead of just a symptom of the actual problem. Why is that?

 

[cari12]

Maybe they were texting each other lol....my family will text each other in the same room if we don't want other people to hear.

DH and I will do this at the table in a restaurant when we want to ask each other something that we don't want the kids to hear.

 

[JessicaR]

Check all phones at the door (eatery, restaurant) and enjoy your company.

I think it is horrible and have witnessed this more and more when dining out.

It IS becoming a social problem that so far is going unrecognized.

 

[JessicaR]

DH and I will do this at the table in a restaurant when we want to ask each other something that we don't want the kids to hear.

We used to use pig latin!

 

[MichelleVW]

I don't know why it bothers anyone what my family does in a restaurant as long as we're not disruptive. My family is very close...we talk all the time...we don't need know it all strangers judging us at a restaurant.

 

[Hrhpd]

Maybe they were texting each other lol....my family will text each other in the same room if we don't want other people to hear.

Probably texting each other "look at that family staring at us and shaking their heads."

OP - you would have thought we were a horrible family this past weekend. We were out of town. We spent so much "together" time that we were ready for some down time. Dinner was our time to have some private space. It was the first time we could all sit down and check messages, and check in with life.

And hubby had to be on his phone for work. He is on call 24/7, even on vacation. If he didn't check his phone, he wouldn't be able to be with his family the other 23 hours of the day.

But...I would rather my kids check their e-mail at the table than be a nosy Gladys Kravitz and gossip about what the other tables are doing and how they don't meet your parenting standards.

Oh, and FWIW - dinner at the dining room table, which we do nightly even if it means having to do dinner at 9pm to accomodate schedules - no electronics allowed. We even have discussions about being judgemental and how to avoid that. So, no problems you need to worry your little head over, thank you very much.

 

[RainbowBrite]

My person dislike is when people bring their toddlers to a meal and prop up a video device. To me, this just means those kids will grow up without table manners.

Unfortunately this is the only way we can go out to eat as a family with my in-laws. They have weekend custody of my 2 1/2 year old nephew and since they have refused to discipline him and make him behave, going out to eat with him is a nightmare unless he's distracted by something. Having been a nanny for 11 years this KILLS me. I keep asking them to let me handle it but they refuse.

 

[JessicaR]

I don't know why it bothers anyone what my family does in a restaurant as long as we're not disruptive. My family is very close...we talk all the time...we don't need know it all strangers judging us at a restaurant.

I'm not judging YOU. I don't know you. When I am in a restaurant and an entire family sits there for over on hour not speaking to each other and on an electronic of choice through the entire meal - I think there may be a problem.

 

[debster812]

Well since you only have a little one - I'll address the basketball boys observation. Youngest DD is on a travel basketball team - last week we had tournaments all day Saturday and Sunday! That's a lot of basketball and togetherness with your team mates. We usually find somewhere to grab dinner between or after games! Sometimes the kids like to socialize and sometimes they need some down time on their devices!

Yes. DS plays soccer, and we have lots of far away games, and dinners between games. His coach this year has told the boys that he does not want to see a phone from the moment they arrive at the field (usually 1 hr prior to kickoff) until after he has finished speaking with the boys and they are off the field.

When we hit the restaurant, yes, many of the boys are on their phones, but they are also sharing stuff with each other.

 

[ILUVALASKA]

My DW and 2 teenage DS went out to breakfast yesterday and we observed in just this one restaurant the following:

A teenage girl with her dad, the girl spent most of the time looking at her phone screen. The dad just sat there.

A family out with their 3 kids ages 8 to 3 (give or take). The mom spent most of the time on the phone while the dad tried his best to keep the kids entertained.

A family with two teenage boys, the boys spent the whole time playing video games.

We don't allow our sons to use their phones during meals and especially at a restaurant.



What happened to the time when a family would go out to dinner and spend time with each other. We now have the ability to talk, text or share information with anyone in the world but fail to communicate with the people right next to us. I find this so sad.

This new normal saddens me beyond words. Our future will be bleak.

 

[Poohforyou]

All I am saying is that there are many reasons for people to be doing what they are doing.

My person dislike is when people bring their toddlers to a meal and prop up a video device. To me, this just means those kids will grow up without table manners.

Because table manners can only be taught in a restaurant? We used to bring sometime to entertain dd14 when she was little. Sometimes now when we go out we let her play on her phone. Honestly, we spend a lot of time together talking. Sometimes we just want to physically be together but do our own thing.