No face to face communication

[sapdaddy2]

My DW and 2 teenage DS went out to breakfast yesterday and we observed in just this one restaurant the following:

A teenage girl with her dad, the girl spent most of the time looking at her phone screen. The dad just sat there.

A family out with their 3 kids ages 8 to 3 (give or take). The mom spent most of the time on the phone while the dad tried his best to keep the kids entertained.

A family with two teenage boys, the boys spent the whole time playing video games.

We don't allow our sons to use their phones during meals and especially at a restaurant.

What happened to the time when a family would go out to dinner and spend time with each other. We now have the ability to talk, text or share information with anyone in the world but fail to communicate with the people right next to us. I find this so sad.

 

[vacationer1954]

What's sad is that the preference is to communicate with others rather than with family. However, that problem probably has existed for generations and generations and we only realize it now because people have these alternatives. There's probably no difference between the families that you observed and your own family except that you've artificially changed the circumstances by imposing those limitations while they haven't. It's a really inconsequential difference.

 

[TifffanyD]

I went out to dinner and observed this...


A family too busy looking around at and being bothered by all the other diners to have a decent meal themselves.

Just sayin'

 

[sam_gordon]

My DW and 2 teenage DS went out to breakfast yesterday and we observed in just this one restaurant the following:

A teenage girl with her dad, the girl spent most of the time looking at her phone screen. The dad just sat there.

A family out with their 3 kids ages 8 to 3 (give or take). The mom spent most of the time on the phone while the dad tried his best to keep the kids entertained.

A family with two teenage boys, the boys spent the whole time playing video games.

We don't allow our sons to use their phones during meals and especially at a restaurant.

What happened to the time when a family would go out to dinner and spend time with each other. We now have the ability to talk, text or share information with anyone in the world but fail to communicate with the people right next to us. I find this so sad.

You get the "Best Parents of the Year" award.

Let's see, you have no idea if...
A family had been traveling long distance and has been talking for hours.
A family had been at home all day and been talking for hours.
The mom might have been doing something required by her job or talking to a family member/friend about something life changing.

But hey, it's ok to judge.

Personally, when I walk into a restaurant, I might look around to see if there's anyone I know, but after that, I'm not concerned about what others are doing.

 

[wiigirl]

What's sad is that the preference is to communicate with others rather than with family. However, that problem probably has existed for generations and generations and we only realize it now because people have these alternatives.

Agreed....I try to curb it a little by keeping all electronics away from the table.

 

[laughinplace199]

You get the "Best Parents of the Year" award.

Let's see, you have no idea if...
A family had been traveling long distance and has been talking for hours.
A family had been at home all day and been talking for hours.
The mom might have been doing something required by her job or talking to a family member/friend about something life changing.

But hey, it's ok to judge.

Personally, when I walk into a restaurant, I might look around to see if there's anyone I know, but after that, I'm not concerned about what others are doing.

 

[clutter]

What Tiffany said!

Really, you don't know the circumstances of the families you observed. For instance, my family is my dd16 and me. That's it. She hates going out to meals because she feels like it's 'forced conversation.' In many ways, I agree. We talk all the time. We don't need a 'meal time,' especially in a restaurant, in order to spend time together communicating. You don't know that one of the families might have just spent 6 hours in a car together, or just came from a funeral, or the hospital visiting a family member.

I'm impressed that every time you go to a restaurant, it's for quality family time. One could say the reverse, and say 'wow how sad that that family only spends time together when they go to a restaurant.' Absurd, right?

 

[Laura66]

My DW and 2 teenage DS went out to breakfast yesterday and we observed in just this one restaurant the following:

A teenage girl with her dad, the girl spent most of the time looking at her phone screen. The dad just sat there.

A family out with their 3 kids ages 8 to 3 (give or take). The mom spent most of the time on the phone while the dad tried his best to keep the kids entertained.

A family with two teenage boys, the boys spent the whole time playing video games.

We don't allow our sons to use their phones during meals and especially at a restaurant.

What happened to the time when a family would go out to dinner and spend time with each other. We now have the ability to talk, text or share information with anyone in the world but fail to communicate with the people right next to us. I find this so sad.

We've had these threads on here before! Goody for you that you don't use electronics at the table. I refuse to judge a family's dynamic just by observing a little slice of time in their day.

Soooo many things could be in play - kids may have been go-go-going all day and need a break - electronics are no different a distraction than crayons or a book. Perhaps the children have already eaten and mom and dad are now able to enjoy a nice meal and conversation.

Last family trip I was on the phone the whole meal at Mama Melrose while my family are dinner. The coroner back in Ohio was leaving for the day and that was the only time she could explain the cause of my brothers death and answer any questions I might have.

Could the family be disconnected? Maybe. But I don't feel the need to judge others dining habits around me when I'm out.

And hmmmmm, if you are so involved in conversation at your table how are you able to determine that others aren't doing the same?

 

[MichelleVW]

Maybe they were texting each other lol....my family will text each other in the same room if we don't want other people to hear.

 

[vacationer1954]

 

[WowLookAtThat]

Please don't stare at me while I am trying to text and eat spaghetti. Its awkward enough to eat pasta in public.

 

[Metsfan520]

My DW and 2 teenage DS went out to breakfast yesterday and we observed in just this one restaurant the following:

A teenage girl with her dad, the girl spent most of the time looking at her phone screen. The dad just sat there.

A family out with their 3 kids ages 8 to 3 (give or take). The mom spent most of the time on the phone while the dad tried his best to keep the kids entertained.

A family with two teenage boys, the boys spent the whole time playing video games.

We don't allow our sons to use their phones during meals and especially at a restaurant.

What happened to the time when a family would go out to dinner and spend time with each other. We now have the ability to talk, text or share information with anyone in the world but fail to communicate with the people right next to us. I find this so sad.

I find it kind of sad to go to a restaurant & looking at others instead of the people you are with.

And if you saw me out to dinner with my dad, you'd see me on my phone to find something on Facebook to show him. He's not up on computers but he loves seeing what the grandkids are up to, so a part of our dinners out are me showing up the kids' Facebook pages.

 

[piperdown]

What Tiffany said!

Really, you don't know the circumstances of the families you observed. For instance, my family is my dd16 and me. That's it. She hates going out to meals because she feels like it's 'forced conversation.' In many ways, I agree. We talk all the time. We don't need a 'meal time,' especially in a restaurant, in order to spend time together communicating. You don't know that one of the families might have just spent 6 hours in a car together, or just came from a funeral, or the hospital visiting a family member.

I'm impressed that every time you go to a restaurant, it's for quality family time. One could say the reverse, and say 'wow how sad that that family only spends time together when they go to a restaurant.' Absurd, right?

We're a family of 3. My only child gets PLENTY of parental interaction. We talk as a family all the time; we watch movies together; we regularly have board game nights. BUT we all like our electronic devices and often we're using them to further conversations. DD is always showing us funny stuff she finds on the internet and it's great for "who was that guy in that movie?" debates.

Electronics are not going away. People freaked out when the telephone was invented....NOBODY WILL HAVE FACE TO FACE CONVERSATIONS!!

Texting, FB, twitter....are just different forms of communication. It's all about the context in which you use them.

We don't need your concern or pity. We're doing just fine.

 

[Handbag Lady]

My DW and 2 teenage DS went out to breakfast yesterday and we observed in just this one restaurant the following:

A teenage girl with her dad, the girl spent most of the time looking at her phone screen. The dad just sat there.

How about: Dad works all of the time and doesn't know how to talk to the teen, so he sits there and she gets bored and can't wait to get home.

A family out with their 3 kids ages 8 to 3 (give or take). The mom spent most of the time on the phone while the dad tried his best to keep the kids entertained.

The mom is at home ALL OF THE TIME and it is dad's turn to entertain while mom gets a spare 20 minutes to catch up with a friend.

A family with two teenage boys, the boys spent the whole time playing video games.

And in the wagon wheel times, teen boys also ignored their family and chased rabbits.

We don't allow our sons to use their phones during meals and especially at a restaurant.

What happened to the time when a family would go out to dinner and spend time with each other. We now have the ability to talk, text or share information with anyone in the world but fail to communicate with the people right next to us. I find this so sad.

All I am saying is that there are many reasons for people to be doing what they are doing.

My person dislike is when people bring their toddlers to a meal and prop up a video device. To me, this just means those kids will grow up without table manners.

 

[runsandjumps]

I hate this too. I was just discussing the same thing with a friend and she commented that's just how society is now.

 

[Jennasis]

We went to Chili's on Sunday and saw a large group of families sitting over in the bar area. The parents were sitting at one of the pub tables...maybe 5 of them. The children, all around 5-9 years old sitting at another table by themselves. ALL of the parents were nose-deep in their phones. Luckily the kids seemed fairly well behaved...a little raucous, but not running around. Just laughing and having a good time...one little boy apparently said something naughty and the little girl at the table went up to her mother at the other table...here's what happened:

girl: Mom? Mom? Mommy? (tugging at sleeve...mom ignores while staring at screen)...MOM. MOM!

Mom: (shakes kid off and snaps at her) WHAT?

girl: what does **** mean? Joey said ****.

Mom: (scowling) Go sit down and leave me alone (returns to phone)

 

[BadgerGirl84]

I've noticed this behavior a lot, too, eating out. My DH and I are guilty of it sometimes if we are waiting at the end of the meal for the check or something, but we try to make an effort to put away the phones. Even though DD is just seven months old, we both agree we want to set limits on screen time...and putting devices away at the dinner table will be one part of that.

We were put last weekend and a middle boys basketball team was eating out and the boys were split up into a few booths with the coaches/parents at another table. ALL the boys spent nearly the whole time on their phones. When I was their age, being at a restaurant with my other 12 year old friends would have been time for lots of talking and laughing. Not so with this group. And, no, making an observation about other diners didn't mean that I spent the whole meal not focusing on my family and judging everyone else.

Sent from my iPad using DISBoards

 

[Tozzie]

My DW and 2 teenage DS went out to breakfast yesterday and we observed in just this one restaurant the following:

A teenage girl with her dad, the girl spent most of the time looking at her phone screen. The dad just sat there.

A family out with their 3 kids ages 8 to 3 (give or take). The mom spent most of the time on the phone while the dad tried his best to keep the kids entertained.

A family with two teenage boys, the boys spent the whole time playing video games.

We don't allow our sons to use their phones during meals and especially at a restaurant.

What happened to the time when a family would go out to dinner and spend time with each other. We now have the ability to talk, text or share information with anyone in the world but fail to communicate with the people right next to us. I find this so sad.

Since you spend so much time people watching in the restaurant how much time did you actually spend talking with your family about things other than what other people were doing. It is apparent that what they were doing didn't infringe on your family so why are you so interested in why other people aren't living up to your standards.

 

[TheZue]

Maybe they were texting each other lol....my family will text each other in the same room if we don't want other people to hear.

I was going to say the same thing! My husband and I do this a lot if the people next to us are having a bizarre conversation. My favorite was this young girl at the next table once who came up with "My body is, like, totally weird. Shirts just don't, like, work at all." At that point we started texting back and forth a lot. I'm sure the people who were at the other tables thought we were having a terrible date night. Nope, it was awesome. The food was good, the alcohol was good, and even the conversation was good even if it wasn't verbal.

 

[EveDallas]

We've had these threads on here before! Goody for you that you don't use electronics at the table. I refuse to judge a family's dynamic just by observing a little slice of time in their day.

Soooo many things could be in play - kids may have been go-go-going all day and need a break - electronics are no different a distraction than crayons or a book. Perhaps the children have already eaten and mom and dad are now able to enjoy a nice meal and conversation.

I find it kind of sad to go to a restaurant & looking at others instead of the people you are with.

All I am saying is that there are many reasons for people to be doing what they are doing.

Agreed. I was out to lunch today with DS17. He spent a large part of the meal listening to music on his tablet (with headphones) while I flipped through a magazine. To a casual observer it would appear that we just didn't care to interact and I realize that the Judgy McJudgersons out there would think it was terrible. What isn't obvious is that my son is high functioning autistic, and loud noisy crowds are very difficult for him. The restaurant got very crowded after we had been seated and ordered, so my son pulled out his tablet. It let him enjoy his meal rather than being stressed or leaving. If someone else thinks I am a bad mom for allowing that, tough toenails.