NO Christmas gifts for the kids??

[antmaril]

A gift is jus that - a gift. Freely given. It is not an obligation. Sounds like these parents had some real reasons to not reward these particular children this year.

I have read your response several times because I just can't wrap my brain around what you are saying. I have no words.

 

[luvsJack]

Not to mention pathetic and cruel to force everyone else to sit and watch ONE child open gifts.. I guarantee you - that is "one" Christmas that those other children will NEVER forget - EVER..

That's what I was thinking. They could have at least planned the one child's gift opening to be at a time when the others were not there.

This just seems very cruel.

Someone mentioned the whole Santa thing and his "knowing if you have been naughty or nice". That is the way the song goes, but I have never known of anyone to actually withhold Santa's gifts because of something their child did. To me, they are just being cruel. Its only going to make these young people feel they are unworthy of receiving gifts.

Sadly, one of the things that make teens act out are those feelings of "unworthiness" and thinking "well, if they think I am bad, I must be". Even if they did do this because of misbehavior, they are only setting their kids up for further failure.


Having a grandchild that just celebrated her first Christmas, I still cannot wrap my brain around these people not giving the child one small toy or gift.

 

[joyjoy]

i just found out today that ds's gf who lives with us got nothing from her mom (& stepdad). she also has 2 younger brothers & 1 step brother. 4 kids total for that blended family. only the youngest boy (8yrs old) got gifts. the other 3 (12, 15, and 18) didn't get anything. not even the 18yr old's baby, who is their 1st grandchild.
they celebrate on the 24th and made a big deal for 2 days cooking and preparing for the big get together. they were all there for gift opening but nothing for 3 (plus the baby) of the kids. i really despise her family more and more the more i know about them......
oh, and they usually do get gifts. just not this year. gf said it was because they were "bad" this year. gf got pregnant and had a baby at 18. the 15 year old brother has had a little trouble with school and other typical 15yr old boy stuff. and the only thing that i know of that the 12 year old did is like his step dad, who he lives with, more than his real dad. wonder why??

I hate people sometimes. How do these people live with themselves?

 

[bookgirl]

A gift is jus that - a gift. Freely given. It is not an obligation. Sounds like these parents had some real reasons to not reward these particular children this year.

and what exactly did the grandaughter do, or do you really think that a infant deserves to be punished for her whole life because her parent's wern't married.

 

[cheermom1]

What you would do, is you would love them. EVERY child goes through difficult periods. They are people, not robots you can program to be perfect. But you still love them. They're your kids, how can you not love them? A few problems at school, doesn't make them "bad" teenagers - it makes them teenagers. People who are learning to spread their wings and will make mistakes in the process. That doesn't mean you ignore the mistakes, but you do keep them in perspective. Mistakes doesn't mean you withhold your love or cancel Christmas. Because your Children don't live their lives exactly as you want them to, doesn't make them bad people. It's OK to accept people for who they are - warts and all.

this sums it up right here...I will tell you that my teen dd was caught twice sneaking out but did I keep her from celebrating? NO I didn't - set her punishment to fit the crime period! she lost her phone, tv, computer, and she was grounded till she earned my trust back ...you don't make them feel unworthy..you teach them what is right and wrong ..if you don't teach they ahve no clue what they did was so wrong...

 

[MizTink]

That's what I was thinking. They could have at least planned the one child's gift opening to be at a time when the others were not there.

This just seems very cruel.

Someone mentioned the whole Santa thing and his "knowing if you have been naughty or nice". That is the way the song goes, but I have never known of anyone to actually withhold Santa's gifts because of something their child did. To me, they are just being cruel. Its only going to make these young people feel they are unworthy of receiving gifts.

Sadly, one of the things that make teens act out are those feelings of "unworthiness" and thinking "well, if they think I am bad, I must be". Even if they did do this because of misbehavior, they are only setting their kids up for further failure.


Having a grandchild that just celebrated her first Christmas, I still cannot wrap my brain around these people not giving the child one small toy or gift.

the baby is over 4 months old . she is their 1st grandchild and they have not done one thing for her. nothing. it is very clear to me why they allowed their daughter and the baby to move in with us. they pretended they didn't want them to in the beginning, but like i said......it is very clear now why they are with me. ($$$$) it is more than ok with my and my entire family!!