No Alcohol at a Wedding?

[TinklednPants]

Here's another question...for those of you who can't imagine going to a dry wedding, do both you and your spouse drink? I'm not trying to offend anyone or sound tacky, but if you go to "party" as some have stated does that include both you and your spouse and if so who drives home then?

On the rare occassions that DH and I drink it's either one or the other unless we are staying for the night. Neither of us will drink and drive no matter how few or how many drinks are consumed. So if we did go to a wedding where alcohol was served only one of was would be drinking.

So who drives or do one you don't drink?

We always take a limo so no driving for us.

 

[NotUrsula]

I think that if there is no alcohol being served in the reception room, but somewhere on the premises there is a bar where guests may purchase a drink, that's not really a cash bar. That's leaving it up to the guests whether they want to walk down the hall to "another venue" to purchase something off the menu.

Making guests pay for ALL types of drinks is very tacky, but I don't see the issue of letting them walk down the hall if they wish to pay for access to a broader selection that what you are serving.

My wedding was Southern and Catholic, and the reception site (an historic home) did not allow beer on the premises because of how difficult it was to remove the smell from carpets. We served as much white wine, champagne, and ginger ale punch as anyone might want, but there was no full service bar. We also did not have a plated dinner, but there was enough finger food to make a very hearty meal of. (The wedding was at 7:30; the reception started at 9 pm)

I once attended the wedding of an employee of mine who was Baptist. The church was decorated in a hugely elaborate fashion, and there were all sorts of little printed gewgaws like programs and place cards, but the service lasted a whole ten minutes. We were in and out of that church so fast that we never really saw the elaborate flowers. There was cake and punch in the church basement, and both were pretty bad. The irony was that there were 200 guests for this thing, and the line to go down the basement steps and through the receiving line took over 2 hours. To have waited in line that long for lime sherbet punch and dry cake was a heck of a letdown, I've got to tell you.

 

[Nik's Mom]

We had a "dry" wedding. I have raging alcoholics and drug addicts in my family. An open bar would have been a recipe for disaster. Plus, dh's brother was killed my a drunk driver only 3 months before our wedding. So we decided not to have alcohol (other than the champagne toast).

We did provide non-alcoholic drinks for our guests. And if they really wanted to drink, they could go to a bar on the first floor of the hotel (which a few did). But I did not want my wedding ruined by some of the alcoholics in my family. Sad, but true. People seemed to have a great time and were dancing til all hours of the night.

I've been to open bar weddings and haven't really witnessed any problems. But in my family, that would have been a disaster. Even though my aunts and uncles are getting up there in age, they still LOVE their box of wine.

 

[diznygirl]

Dry wedding here with alcoholics in the family - some recovering, some not. We erred on the side of caution so that our guests could enjoy themselves without certain someones spoiling it for everyone. As it was, they did bring their own.....

It was a lunch wedding, so not much alcohol would have been expected to be consumed anyway. And from what I've heard, certain someones made up for it later that evening anyway.

 

[NHdisneylover]

We did serve limited alcohol at our wedding (red and white wine, toe different fairly mainstream tasting beers from a local micro brew on tap and champaign toast) as well as the usual assortment of tea, coffee, soda and punch. We also had a keg of root beer from the micro brew at my request. Even though there were only about 50 people at the wedding and all those otehr drinks (and the flower girls was the only under aged person in the place!) that ROOT BEER was gone lightening fast and I never even got any This was years ago, back when Fat Tire was a little local brew most people had never heard of

I think about half the weddings I have been to have been dry. I never really gave it any thought. Most of what I have attended have been DHs family and we will all dance and have fun and party with or without alcohol

To me a "cash bar" refers to a bar which requires you to pay for either all alcohol or all ahrd alcohol (with beer and wine covered by the host). The latter is what I have seen the msot of. I have never been to a wedding where I was expected to pay for soda or other non alcoholic drinks and I would find that odd and rather rude. If yo uare serving food (even cake) you need to serve a drink to go with it (but it does not have to have alcohol).

 

[JR6ooo4]

Yep, it was a religous factor.

Mikeeee

 

[lvanleer]

Yes....my own almost 25 years ago....we had a simple reception in the church fellowship hall(Baptist)....so definitely no alcohol or dancing there and we served deli platters, wedding cake and punch.

 

[ead79]

DH and I had a dry wedding. In our area that's not abnormal at all--most of the weddings I've been to have been dry. We did not serve alcohol because we don't drink, out of respect for my grandma who had an alcoholic husband and is really bothered by drinking, and because of concerns over some of DH's extended family and their behavior when intoxicated at weddings. Everyone still seemed to enjoy themselves--but as I mentioned it's not abnormal in our area.

 

[lovesmurfs]

Our wedding was no alcohol. We had the "tea" reception in the Fellowship Hall so that we didn't need to have alcohol (DH's family didn't drink).

It was a lovely wedding, 19 years ago, and people still talk about how great it was (and not just me and DH!).

You don't need alcohol to rejoice with a couple for their future happiness.

 

[sdarwkcabemanmy]

I've only been to ONE wedding where they served alcohol and had my kid not been with us, I would've imbibed. I only drank one glass of champagne, during the best man's toast because I knew we were going to have to drive home the next day and I did NOT want to deal with a long drive, a whiny kid AND a hangover all at the same time.

 

[dakcp2001]

Having worked as a cater waitress for several years, I have seen all kinds of weddings. With alcohol, without, open bar, cash bar, and brunch weddings...just beer and wine,,,,just champagne etc etc


Having witnessed this all first hand, I would NEVER EVER have an open bar at my wedding, definately not! People just go way overboard, and then they all pile into their cars and head out on the road. No way would I want that kind of responsibility! I have seen some repsonsible parties where they provde taxis etc, but that is def not the norm in my area. And with the way these people behave, I would never want children there to witness it. People get obnoxioulsy drunk, whereas with a cash bar, they tend to be a little more conservative.

its up to the Bride & Groom to choose what they want, and no matter what they choose, I am sure some people will find it tacky, but too bad! Its THEIR day and they get to pick. More power to them!

 

[Missy1961]

I never have, but I would have no problem with it. I like alcohol, but I don't need to have it to have a good time.

 

[Fintastic]

We didn't have alcohol at our wedding. We're non-drinkers and we wanted to spend the money on other things.

 

[frndshpcptn]

I think the problem with these shows is that they expose the rest of the world to traditional weddings here, and people think it's the new trend. Here in NYC metro area, most have the engraved invitations and wedding programs, limos, the large bridal party, the expensive dress, the elaborate cocktail hour, the 5 course dinner, etc. Weddings typically run $100+ a plate. Before these boards, I honestly didn't know that people still drink punch (I remember in from the 70's).

I see things the same way - I live in NY Metro and honetly didn't know that people served punch and cake at weddings until i came onto these boards.

All weddings I am attending this summer will be the same...fancy dress, expensive invite, elaborate cocktail hour (best food / drink part of the whole wedding imho), full open bar, multi-course plated meal, band, back-up DJ, tiered cake, dessert platters, etc.

I'll be honest, it gets boring and repetitive. They are all the same.

But no, I've never been to a wedding that did not have a full open bar.

 

[pperfectmom]

Here's another question...for those of you who can't imagine going to a dry wedding, do both you and your spouse drink? I'm not trying to offend anyone or sound tacky, but if you go to "party" as some have stated does that include both you and your spouse and if so who drives home then?

On the rare occassions that DH and I drink it's either one or the other unless we are staying for the night. Neither of us will drink and drive no matter how few or how many drinks are consumed. So if we did go to a wedding where alcohol was served only one of was would be drinking.

So who drives or do one you don't drink?

We both drink. We will decide whether one of us will drive or we'll get a ride or even better, a room. That said I have no problem limiting myself to a couple of drinks during the event and letting DH drink more if he wants and then I drive home. Unfortunately, we are too old to know anyone that is getting married so this hasn't happened in quite some time.

 

[ols386]

It would not bother me at all to attend a non-alcoholic wedding, I never drink alcohol anyway. I don't really like the taste of it.

 

[Kath2003]

It wouldn't bother me, but I've never heard of one. There's always a cash bar at every wedding I've been to, and almost always wine supplied with dinner. I don't know anyone who doesn't drink so I don't know anyone who would choose to not have a cash bar if there was one at their wedding venue. I can't imagine a wedding without alcohol available. Obviously we don't drive after drinking, we'll get a cab or a room or a lift with a designated driver.

 

[EMom]

I was a grown woman before I saw alcohol served at a wedding. I grew up in Baptist country, so it was a given that there would be NO alcohol. Just about eveyone was Baptist and those that weren't Baptist were something else that was even stricter than Baptist. We were thrilled when Methodist church came to town when I was in jr. high and we could go there and dance. (We all danced anyway....We just snuck out on Saturday night and slithered into chuch on Sunday morning. ) But the Methodists did it right out in the open.

We had champagne at our wedding, but that was it. Even then, I think some relatives were taken aback. Oh well.....I'd been away to college and seen the wide, wide world.

 

[Jen_in_NH]

This may show us off as the country folk we are

We had a barbeque in the backyard for our reception. So we had champagne for toasts, and then had a couple of kegs. All of our friends and family knew what our plans were, and knew if they wanted something else, feel free to bring it.

If we'd done the formal reception, it would have been open bar (although with our friends, I'd be working more hours )

I've been to dry weddings - they're just as much fun as any other wedding.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I used to think that cash bars were tacky. Until I got married. We realized that with our families, if we didn't have a limited open bar followed by a cash bar, that we'd have some pretty drunks folks on our hands.

So, we did open bar for the first 2-4 hours (I forget now) and then cash bar after that.

I've never been to a dry wedding. I wouldn't mind one, but I would like to know in advance as we assume weddings will have alcohol and I make arrangements in advance as we do drink in moderation but I refuse to drive. (Stay at the reception hotel, arrange for a cab home, stay with friends nearby...whatever fits the location of the party). I'd hate to go through all the trouble and not have a few drinks.

But, here in Los Angeles in my circle, if you do have a dry wedding, you are saying that one or more of the wedding party is a friend of Bill and everyone is obviously okay with that.

I even attended the wedding of a recovered Bride and she insisted upon having an open bar. (Yes, she's quite the amazing woman to be able to do that!)