Nice way to say ENOUGH?

[la79al]

My mom, sister, me and DD are heading to DW in December. I was talking to my sister about trying to find toddler friendly foods that I could pack and feed DD as opposed to constantly trying to feed her off my plate. So my sister says 'you know mom and I are going to spoil the crap out of that baby right?'. This does not surprise me at all. They both have gone overboard buying baby stuff that I would never in a million years think my daughter 'needs'. I am super excited that they are both going to be there for her first real trip to Disney and I already plan on all schedules, rules, etc going out the window for the week but there's one thing I am not looking forward to. I am the type that will not buy things unless they have a legitimate use. My sister on the other hand will buy things because they are cute or because DD 'needs' them. I am already envisioning having a whole extra suitcase on the way home, stuffed with stuffed animals, Minnie ears and princess costumes, etc. Then we get home, it gets shoved somewhere and forgotten about. Is there any really nice way for me to just say enough? We took DD to Epcot and DTD in March and DH gave me free reign to buy her whatever I wanted and the only thing she showed interest in was a glitter filled sippy cup so that's all she got. I want memories, not souvenirs.

 

[turkeymama]

Are you crafty? Maybe you could suggest that your daughter needs a memory book and photos. There are plenty of Disney themed photo albums, scrapping and journal supplies, and don't forget Photopass.

As for the princess costumes and Mickey ears, I would say let go of that one. Those are fun things and the pictures of the kids in costume are priceless. I know they are useless once you leave the parks, but they are fun. Then you could look as though you were allowing them to "spoil" her a little and will be in a better bargaining position when you say no to all those stuffed animals.

I felt the same way about my MIL, and I finally figured out it was all about striking a balance with her.

I know this isn't the best advice (and probably not what you wanted to hear), but that's all I've got for right now.

 

[BabyFu18]

I don't really have any advice, but I am an aunt and I love to buy things for my niece that her mother wouldn't buy for her, I'm supposed to be able to spoil her that's half the fun!

Really though, when my sister says enough is enough I stop, but if your mother and sister want to buy things for your daughter I say let them. If your daughter doesn't use or play with the items once you get home give them to less fortunate children who would appreciate the items.

 

[ariel53098]

Let 'em spoil her. DS's b-day is in November and between that and Christmas I know toys are going to be plentiful so in October of every year we go through the toys and box up ones for the less fortunate. Then he has room for his new ones. You can do this when you get back and make room for her new things (or possibly even include some of the new things if they won't be played with, etc).
Rachel

 

[disneylove69]

OK.. I think somewhere there is an unwritten rule the Grandmas' are supposed to spoil their grandchild. My mom tried to get my grandma to stop and it didn't work. I assume that your dd is the first? It is a vacation so unless health is an issue skip the food issue. Feed your daughter her normal meals and maybe she will be full that she won't want/much from the plates. As far as souvenirs tell them they are going to have to carry it back your bags are full. You could pick things out that would be better for your dd. As far as Mickey ears they fit around the edge of your luggage. Good Luck.

 

[gr8leg8]

Our DD is the first grandchild

so I had to tell my MIL

anything you get her - Lives at your house!!!

Edit to add: We also have "Grandparent Privilege".
The Grandparents can break our rules (eat junk food, stay up past bedtime, etc) just not safety rules like seatbelts.

 

[figment41]

Be careful what you try to stop. My husband and I said no more stuffed animals.

It became a game for everyoned then to buy our DD the largest stuffed anything they could find. They now get sent to their house so it has slowed but not stopped.

Maybe say one stuffed animal is plenty and let the other buy the costume. The costumes at the parks are very expensive and can be purchased for a lot less money at the Disney stores especially after Halloween.

The costumes are cute and can be used as Halloween costumes but everyone NEEEDDDS their first Mickey ears!!!

Have fun and don't let it ruin your trip. As long as it doesn't hurt your DD let it go. It will make them happy.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

Let the family know how important the trip is for you and to let you buy the things from the trip. Reassure them that you appreciate their generosity (sp?) but to let you decide what she gets to bring home. Maybe allow them each to purchase ONE thing for her, that way they're happy and they hopefully don't go overboard.

I'm with you in that the memories are more important than the materials you bring home. We were there in April and all DS (2.5) and DD (6 mo) brought home were ears. DS was given $30 from the grandparents and he bought a talking Nemo stuffed animal (he picked it out) and a Mickey ice cream (which was always my souvenir on my family trips). The last thing that was purchased was a Mickey spinning flashlight - which was something I insisted on. I wanted something he could carry with us in case he got scared.

The major souvenir from the trip was his autograph book. He covets those autographs and still to this day talks about how he got them.

Best of luck and stick to your guns. Hopefully you'll find some common ground.

 

[srferson]

Our DD is the first grandchild

so I had to tell my MIL

anything you get her - Lives at your house!!!

That was my first thought too. I don't know how far away your mother and sister live, or how often your DD visits their homes, but I know my parents (who live in FL) keep a whole bunch of stuff for when my niece (who lives in MA) visits their house.

Might work for your family. Then they will have to deal with getting it home and storing it, plus Auntie's house will have toys and fun stuff that your DD doesn't get to play with every day.

 

[susykt4]

I have a CRAZY SIL who went insanely overboard buying gifts for my daughter for a couple of years after she was born. It bothered me a lot because I knew she didn't have the money to be buying DD many outfits as well as many toys for every occasion. Oh, she actually wasn't married to my husband's brother yet so she was my brother-in-law's girlfriend- not even family- very awkward. I tried telling her DD didn't need the stuff. Didn't work. I tried telling her her extreme generosity made us uncomfortable. Didn't work. I tried telling her she was certainly welcome to visit without bringing a truckload of gifts. Didn't work. What finally solved the problem was when my son was born when DD was 2yrs, 4 months. SIL didn't want to do the same for him and couldn't afford to. She also was decent enough that she didn't shower DD with gifts and leave DS out.

That said, this is your mom and sis at Disney World. Let 'em spoil your DD! I agree with a previous poster about warning them before the trip that what they buy has to come home in THEIR luggage. Otherwise, get some adorable pics of DD in her $75 Cinderella dress, surrounded by her zoo of plushies and princess dolls and then donate the whole lot when you get back home!

 

[PrincessKell]

I can understand your stand on "useless" things. But remember its a special time and part of the memories are those extra special items that you get on your trips to Disney. The Ears the dress.

I think the donating things is a great idea, specially to local childrens hospitals if you have one in your area.

Of you could tell your mom and sister that there is a limit to the toys she gets maybe one each. But ears and one princess dress would be plenty. And then if they insist on getting more things have them buy her clothing. She will need that right? She is a baby so its gonna be great to make the memories, and I bet she will look soooo darling in a little mini baby Princess or Fairy costume!

As for the food, I wouldn't do anything different than you do when you are home. if she eats off your plate at home, I say continue to do it. If you have "toddler" food then bring the food she normally eats at home. That isn't a big deal. There is so much food and kid friendly food you should be fine either way.

Its a vacation and baby's first, its ok to let loose a little bit. Have fun create your memories, and let everyone have a great time!

Have fun, and I hope you can come to an agreement with your family so you are all happy.

 

[pyrxtc]

I with everyone to say to let them buy what they want. My siblings did that some when my DD was born but stopped after a little. It didn't happen with my boys at all. I'm looking forward to it when I finally become and Aunt x's 2 this December.

If it's not hurting her then let it happen.

My kids grandparents - not a single one is a spoiler. I can barely get either of them to spend time with my boys (who everyone else loves and are great kids). I tried spending a couple days at my mom's to get her some time wiht them and she ended up yelling at them and making them upset like she did to us when we were little.

 

[mjkacmom]

That said, this is your mom and sis at Disney World. Let 'em spoil your DD! I agree with a previous poster about warning them before the trip that what they buy has to come home in THEIR luggage. Otherwise, get some adorable pics of DD in her $75 Cinderella dress, surrounded by her zoo of plushies and princess dolls and then donate the whole lot when you get back home!

I sort of agree, except for the stuffed animals - it's VERY hard to find a place to donate them, and you can't even give them away at garage sales!

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I say you are lucky. My kids don't get nay of that spoiling and I wish they would. For any example, on my DD10's b-day last month, my mom sent a card, my MIL sent nothing. Not even a phone call! The only people who sent anything was my grandma/pa and my great grandma. They never forget, but that was it. I am an only so no extended family there and my DH has a half sister but there was nothing from her either. I know "stuff" can get annoying, but maybe you can ask them to start a collection, like snowglobes or something she will cherish for years to come.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I agree to let it go. Except for safety issues or over then top junk foods, let them go crazy. Rule is it has to be packed to go home in thier luggage if you do not have room. Maybe encourage them to really watch your daughter and see what she does like and may really enjoy the most!
Have fun, the trip will be special.

 

[Moeluv4u7]

I haven't read every response-

The best advice I have is to not forget
This is a memory for your mom and sister too- If their memory is fulfilled by buying your DD unnecessary items that make her smile for 2 minutes, let them- If it is too much for you as a parent and mother- put all items, other than the few you believe will be something your DD cherishes as she is older- (First Mickey Ears, etc), in a swap here on the boards or advertise on Craigs List OR wait until you have word another person you know will be going and offer the items to them as a "gift og magic"- It can save someone else money and make their kids smile as well- You will have memories for your DD, your mom and sister will have had lasting memories of your DD receiving said items and pics with the item or what have you- You can decide what is kept and spread some magic with what is overkill...

I was the same as you until I stepped in on a purchase my mother was making for my DD once-(not Disney but another place that souvenirs can be overkill) she really let me have it with me killing her memory and "was it so hard for me to filter through and choose a few said items and put the rest in a yard sale"- The look on my DD's face or the picture, etc she got was priceless, etc- (Now, I did say also, "Well Mom, take a picture with a hat on her in the store and leave the hat in the store"
Moment still hadn't passed, she was upset that I would not want her to enjoy the frivolity that she was having while enjoying the reaction of my DD the entire day.
To this day, my mom will buy my DD (now 13 yrs old) items I will not or even will not allow- (crazy nailpolish colors and such) My DD gets to enjoy it with her Granny- Some items stay at Granny's so they can enjoy together again- others go straight to Christmas box (Christmas box I take to the battered women's/children's shelter every Christmas)- If someone I know mentions a trip to said place or an item they were trying to find for their child, if we have it I bring it to them...
(my mother didn't see my kids often)

 

[bedillamouse]

Okay I will stand up and say I'm was one of those aunts. When my sister had her DS I went crazy. I was single and head over heels in love with the little stinker. It is really about how it made me have memories of our time together. I would spoil him with stuff but also with my time. Then I got married and had my own children...I can see where it was a bit too much but I wouldn't trade it. I agree with previous PP's...let them buy. Limit on the sugary snacks but let them maybe do one a day??? Set rules where they have to carry what they buy home...I like that idea. I also like the scrapbook idea except let them put it together....I think that would be even more special...plus one of my DDs' favorite thing for years was a simple picture book I gave her with our families pictures and special pictures of her. She still goes back and looks at it and she's 5 now.

Then if it's too much stuff...donate. Children's hospital, shelters (there's so many now...people loosing their homes and everything) even the police department if yours has a program (ours collects new bears to keep in their squad car and when an incident happens with a child they give them the bear to help comfort them) you could see if your police do this too and would they do Disney stuffed animals???

Good luck and try to let go...you'll have so much more fun if you don't stress so much about what your mom and sister are doing. They already said they're gonna do it...so just set a few ground rules and let them carry the fruits of their pocketbooks.

 

[fussymonkey]

Is there any really nice way for me to just say enough? We took DD to Epcot and DTD in March and DH gave me free reign to buy her whatever I wanted and the only thing she showed interest in was a glitter filled sippy cup so that's all she got. I want memories, not souvenirs.

Nope, there's not really a nice way. Telling people how to spend thier money isn't polite, at least in my opinion. You can request that what they buy goes home with the purchaser to be a special toy at grandma or auntie's house.

I don't understand wanting memories, not souvienirs... having souvenirs doesn't preclude having wonderful memories. You can have both.

She's a first grandbaby she'll be spoiled till she has a sibling or cousin, then it will ease up. Until then, just let them enjoy loving on the little one and showering her with gifts.

 

[kevschickee]

Nope, there's not really a nice way. Telling people how to spend thier money isn't polite, at least in my opinion. You can request that what they buy goes home with the purchaser to be a special toy at grandma or auntie's house.

I don't understand wanting memories, not souvienirs... having souvenirs doesn't preclude having wonderful memories. You can have both.

She's a first grandbaby she'll be spoiled till she has a sibling or cousin, then it will ease up. Until then, just let them enjoy loving on the little one and showering her with gifts.

I agree 100%

 

[marlynnp]

No, there's no nice way to do that.

Let them spoil her and make their memories. Later when your daughter's forgotten about the stuff you can get rid of it.



On a side note, why do you feel the need to control what others spend their money on? First the stepkids, now mom and sis? It's not YOUR money and it's not your business what it's spent on.