New York City Boys in the World: Day Two Part II Back to Mission: Space!

[RickinNYC]

Day 2, Part II

We walked over to Spaceship Earth, bypassing Innoventions altogether, in hopes of catching up with our friends Vinnie and Dennis. We were supposed to meet them at noon and the hour was fast approaching. Ambling under the massive sphere, it never fails to instill a sense of awe, and just a tiny bit of “What were they thinking?”

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a big fan of Spaceship Earth. I always demand that we hop aboard the attraction at least two or three times each trip. It’s not that the Disney powers that be chose to build such a massive golf ball as a park icon. Sure, sure, sure. I get it. It’s intended to represent our Earth, thus Spaceship Earth. It’s neat and nifty. I like that part.

What I’m talking about is the humongous Mickey arm they slap-dashed to the side of the poor thing. What was once a modern testament to man’s ever widening ability to communicate with one another has now become a big honkin’ snow globe. Oh well. I’ll get used to it.

Anyway, it’s now a quarter passed noon and no Vinnie and Dennis. One of my many characteristics is that I absolutely hate to be late. The very thought makes me sweat and get the shakes. And when I have to meet someone, anyone, whether a chum or the Queen Mother, I’m always a tad early. And when someone doesn’t show me the same courtesy, I get a little antsy.

But, I put it off to the Disney transportation. Perhaps it was running behind. Maybe it was just too crowded to hop aboard. No big whoop. I’ll swallow my antsyness and not let it bug me. (Get it? Antsyness? Bug? Nevermind.)

Joe stood at attention, staring off into the distance. He looked like he was trying to will the guys into being because I could tell he could tell I was getting antsy but trying not to let it bother me. When I saw little beads of sweat pop into being, rather than two guys from Jersey, I decided to make better use of my time and vanish. I figured if Joe couldn’t see me do the “where-are-they” shuffle, he wouldn’t care if anyone was late.

Quick aside about Joe’s personality. He used to be chronically late. Now that he’s sidled up with me in the land of love and partnership, he’s not so much. But he still doesn’t care a lick if anyone else is a wee tardy. In fact, I think he’s secretly living vicariously through them, enjoying the lateness of all.

Anyway, in order to make myself scarce so Joe could enjoy Vinnie and Dennis’ lateness of being, I strolled over to the monoliths of Epcot guests from days gone by. Of course, that would be me and Joe slapped up there in all of our etched glory. And, of course, I have no idea where I could find me, but I peruse the many faceless faces nonetheless. Sort of a good analogy of one’s life, eh? I looked, thinking “If I were Rick, where would I be?” The irony never occurred to me at that time but struck me like an iron skillet not long after.

A Helpful Cast Member stopped by and asked me if she could be helpful. I answered in the affirmative and she dragged me off to a computer terminal wherein she typed in all of my life’s most personal information and viola! She told me not only where I could find me, but also where I could find my kid brother and his, now, fiancée. I thanked Helpful Cast Member and wandered off, clutching a little piece of scrap paper containing instructions on where I might be found.

I came across my little bro and his lovely fiancée, looking happy and cheerful and suitably Disnified. Then, after much counting across and down, I finally found our picture. And once again, for the umpteenth time, I wrinkled my nose, gave a snort of disgust and thought, “Man, not very flattering.” So there you go. I finally found me, and thought I looked fat. Aint it the thruth? The irony still hadn’t smacked me in the head yet.

I strolled back over to Joe and saw that he was indeed still alone. When he spotted me, he saw that I was studying my watch, realizing that it was now 12:30 and the Jersey boys were still not around. I assume he was trying to distract me because his eyes started darting to and fro and up and down when he suddenly realized that the Epcot snow globe was still hovering over his head. His arms shoot up in a big Ta Da! gesture and he starts screaming “Take a picture! Take a picture!”

“Why? What are you doing?” I sighed, my eyes glancing at my watch.

“Just take a picture. It’ll look like I’m holding the globe like Atlas!”

“No Joe. You’ll look like a Rockette at the end of their closing number.”

“Shut up and take a stupid picture,” he barked.

Mind you, during this entire exchange, Joe’s arms were still up in the air, ta da’ing like nobody’s business and he still had a maniacal grin permanently etched to his face. But, nevertheless, like the good guy I am, I humored him and took a picture. Thank God for digital cameras. You can show your friends and loved ones their public humiliation instantaneously. And if you don’t show them how to delete, you can keep all the pictures for future blackmail purposes.

So, with a stone face, I handed the camera over to Joe and with a simple “I told you so” glance.

He looked at the viewing screen, snickered and said, “I look cute and fun.” He’s got a great sense of self. What would normally horrify anyone else when one’s foibles are flaunted, Joe just chuckles, laughs and says “Boy, I’m cute.” You gotta love that.

A few moments later, while staring at my watch, willing our friends to appear, I grunted to Joe that they were now more than 45 minutes late. “Give them some more time,” Joe said. He could tell I was approaching nuclear meltdown status. “I wanna get going. They’re big boys and can see Epcot on their own. If we bump into them, then great. If not, their loss.”

It’s one thing being 15-20 minutes late. It’s an altogether different story when they’re 45 minutes late and counting. And that ticks me off. So, typically in these situations, I think myself into my happy place but since I just happened to be sitting in my friggin’ happy place, I was pretty much done for. “Joe, it’s now approaching an hour late, let’s go.”

Suddenly, his cel phone rings and its Vinnie. They just got on their shuttle bus from Port Orleans Riverside and were on their way. They’ll see us in a few minutes.

Joe relays this news and I seethe. They just now got on their bus? It’s 12:50. No matter how late the shuttle bus is running, it still means that they didn’t get to their bus stop until the time they were supposed to meet us. Unacceptable. And I’m not one to keep my mouth shut. And Joe knew that. And he tried to distract me once again by chattering nonstop. I was in such a red haze of irritation that I can’t remember a thing he was saying.

When the boys finally decided to make their appearance, Joe whispered, “Be nice.” I promised him that I would but that I felt the situation still warranted a comment. It was our vacation too and we had our own schedule to follow. Since it was only the second day of our trip, I wanted to nip the situation in the bud. Plus, I have an enormous mouth and I don’t believe in holding it in if someone is in the wrong.

When greetings were exchanged, I spoke up, “You’re an hour late. When you finally got on your shuttle bus, you were supposed to have already been here. That tells me that you didn’t even leave your room or wherever you happened to have been until that time. That’s rude and inconsiderate of our time. Let’s agree right now that if we’re to meet, and you’re more than thirty minutes late, Joe and I go and do our thing. And the same goes for us. If we’re late, you can leave. Don’t wait up.”

Dennis started stammering and making excuses when Vinnie spoke up. “No problem, that’s fair.” And I saw him give Dennis a jab in the shoulder and whispered, “I told you to hurry up!”

And you know what? Through the rest of their trip, they weren’t late one more single time. In fact, they were early for the most part! Case closed.

Even though that portion of the day started on a sour note, we ended up having a great time. We walked back over to Mission: Space after talking so highly of it. The Stand By line was now at the two-hour plus mark and the Single Rider line was at the hour mark as well. Boy, it was just an hour or so ago when we practically strolled right on! We grabbed our Fast Passes for later that afternoon and moved on.

Test Track was next door, same story with their Stand By line. Fast Passes were all distributed for the day so none were available. But the Single Rider line was only at 20 minutes so we decided to hop on. Vinnie claimed his back had been bothering him so he decided to sit this one out. I suspected he was pouting a little from being admonished earlier, and was doing his “Everything is cool. I’m so mellow. I’m not going to talk to anyone and I’m barely going to crack a polite smile” routine. This is a personality trait that I learned would rear its head quite a bit over the coming days. But if he wanted to “punish” me by not going on an attraction, it was his loss, literally. I didn’t care one bit. Passive/aggressive behavior and pouting have absolutely no effect on me.

Waiting, we checked out all the gizmos and robots and machinery at work. All the clanking, whirring, banging, smashing, thunking, thudding and crashing made a pretty nifty musical melody. Not one you’d find in the Top 40 with Casey Kasem, but it was still pretty cool.

The yellow and orange gratings, the exposed metal, the whirling bright lights, all made for a truly effective pre-show experience. Seeing the test dummies get pummeled, the windshields get bonked, the giant levers slowly pull back, only to fly back into position, whacking a car hood. All for your enjoyment! I love that stuff.

We walked into the viewing area and politely moved all the way in as the Helpful Cast Member requested. Once the movie clip was over, we were then herded into the next staging area and waited our turn. Because we were Single Riders, Dennis went first, then Joe, then me. I waited for the family to climb in and hopped in next to them in the last empty seat. I think I scared the bejesus out of them when I did that because they all stared nervously at me.

Did they actually think this was a real car and that I, a crazed hitchhiker, was about to take them on a ride into terror? Perhaps with my hooked hand?

I tried to make light of their “who is he and why is he in MY car” stare by saying a cheery, “Hi! I’m Rick!” The little girl up front let out a tiny burp of fear and the man next to me leaned away and wrapped his arms around his son’s head in protection. “Must be from some Brazilian tour group or something, “ I mutter.

But off we went, turning the first corner only to have a flashlight beam right in our faces. It was yet another Helpful Cast Member happily asking us to tug on our restraints to insure that we were properly lashed to our vehicle. We were. So off we went once again.

We rattled and jounced up one hillside, and bounced to and fro down the other. We took a hairpin turn without antilock brakes and were plastered across the street in a horrifying mangle of flesh and bone. What fun! Then, of course, we took another turn with the antilock brakes and we safely made it through unscathed.

Up a hill and down, here a turn, there a turn, everywhere a turn, turn. We were blasted with scorching heat, the skin of our arms blistering in the intense rays of the lamps, then we were frozen cryogenically, all to illustrate the extreme tests our lovely automobiles undergo. What fun! But suddenly, Something Goes Horribly Wrong! Some big mook forgot to turn off the robots and they were spewing volatile chemicals right at us! As the fine spray of flesh chewing droplets inched closer, I thought, “This is it! I’m going to die with a tour group from Brazil.”

I brace myself and feel the first drops hit me, “Only water. Ha, ha!” It’s not acid silly. What fun!

And then we tear down the road and race through a tunnel when Something Goes Horribly Wrong! A truck is barreling down on us and we’re about to… oh, never mind. We veered to the side and made it through without a scratch. We came upon yet another testing ground and realize too late that it’s one that will shoot us forward only to slam into that wall ahead! Right into the conveniently placed target!

We lurch forward like a, well, like a car. We’re about to crash! We’re about to crash! When the wall suddenly splits open and we hurtle out into the bright Florida sunshine and race around steep curves and around gravity defying up slopes. We reach speeds of 60 miles per hour, hair flapping wildly, sunglasses pushed against our faces, the Brazilian family screaming and laughing gleefully next to and in front of me. I join them, laughing and shouting happily. Death defying curves, near miss accidents, being covered in skin abrasive chemicals, getting burned and then frozen, all of this certainly brings two disparate countries together in a time of crisis. What fun!

Too soon, the ride comes to an end and it’s time to relax. We pull back in and hop out. The little girl that had been seated in front of me says, “That was fun! Can we go again?” Strange. She didn’t sound Brazilian.

I amble outside past the cars and trucks on display, hop outside the obligatory gift shop unscathed and find Joe and Dennis patiently waiting. We stumble on Vinnie happily munching on his first of many Mickey heads on a stick. “Hey guys! How was it?” he asks through a sugar-induced happiness. It’s a wonder what chocolate and ice cream can do to a mood.

Still with tons of time to kill before our Fast Passes were due, we walk over to the Universe of Energy and enjoy Ellen’s pre-show antics. I have to say that in my oh so very humble opinion, that this show beats the original hands down. Those giant squares, flipping and flopping in tandem, like perfectly synchronized swimmers, while a voice drones on about nature’s gifts of oil and coal was, quite simply, mind numbing. And then the pre-show movie as we sat in the mobile theaters? Say it with me folks! Coma!

Now? Ellen’s quips and jokes, smirks and smiles, they do the trick and make me laugh. And what’s that? They educate? Who knew! And with Alex Trebec, the Jeopardy theme song and set, Bill Nye the Science Guy with his bizarrely endearing unibrow, and of course, the 80’s scream queen herself, Jamie Lee Curtis as our smarmy and know-it-all Stupid Judy. I love it!

But what’s best is the ride back into the neo-something or other era. Now that’s good stuff. The dinosaurs are quite simply, amazing. I was a dinosaur loving kid and this attraction never fails to bring me back to that time when I used to make my T-rex munch on my little green army men as they scream in high pitched terror.

The only thing I don’t quite appreciate is the animatronic Ellen taking a good whack at the big snake thing. Is it just me or does Ellen look like Martina Navratilova at the peak of her career in that particular scene? Mark my words the irony doesn’t escape me. Ellen. Martina. Billie Jean King. Do you see where I’m going with the theme? It’s ironic I tell you.

Well, of course, all good things must come to an end and like all attractions, the Universe of Energy does too. But our heroine, of course, gains knowledge during her time travels and she wins the Jeopardy jackpot! I feel her winning spirit and rejoice.

Walking back into the beautiful Florida sunshine, we once again look at our Fast Passes and of course, realize that we still have hours and hours before we can go back to Mission: Space. With that, we amble back over the fountain plaza area to make our way over to the other half of Futureworld. As we cross by the fountain, it was apparently time for the fabulous water show. And as usual in vacations past, I am absolutely mesmerized.

I stop (but look behind me to insure that I don’t irritate any fellow DIS members for stopping short) and I stare at the spectacle. Water shoots high into the sky, following the musical cues perfectly. Around and around, up and over and down. I am, as always, completely fascinated. My jaw slowly drops and I’m in my own world. There is nothing I don’t love about this fountain. I dream of hooking up a wading pool and a slip’n’slide to a water hose and attaching everything to a CD Walkman in my backyard.

The fine spray of water against my face, the sweeping score, the whoomping of the fountain pumps all combine for a beautiful presentation that brings a small lump in my throat. I think to myself, “I love this place.” Too soon, the show comes to a close. Yet I stay another minute to catch the last burps of water and the last note in the music. Joe comes over and tugs on my t-shirt, “It’s over, let’s go.” But he says it gently because though he doesn’t have as much appreciation for the waterworks as I do, he knows how much I love it and would stay rooted there for hours if allowed.
I look over with a giant grin, “I LOVE that!” and happily trot over to our friends. Time for a visit into a Journey into Imagination!

As we approach the Imagination pavilion, Vinnie points over to the Land and Living Seas pavilions and asks “What’s that?” After telling him about the wonders he can behold in those magical places, he nods and states, “I can live without going there.” I wonder what it was that I said that might have turned him against those harmless meccas of entertainment and knowledge. I shrug and figure Joe and I still have tons of time on our hands and will be back later in the week.

As we enter Imagination, there is not one single solitary person to be found in line. Nada. We gamely hop aboard as instructed and sit back to enjoy Figment’s many antics. The attraction is a lot of fun, but like so many others, I miss the original with the Dream Maker (Finder? Weaver? You know the one, the guy with the red beard and funky old-fashioned clothes).

One thing I will say is that I love the disappearing giant butterfly. I know it’s mirrors or something but really, how do they do that?! Whenever we come across it, Joe always pokes me in the ribs and points at it “Cool! Look!” I think he always forgets that I have always been the one that sits next to him on our previous excursions through the world of Imagination. And I thought I was the one that suffered from bouts of short-term memory loss due to my college escapades.

Nevertheless, we ride on through, humming along to the theme song, “Imaaaaginaaaation! Imaaaaginaaaation!” Figment bounces to and fro, much to Eric Idle’s chagrin. The optical illusions and loud colors and noises blast us in the face full throttle.

And it’s over. And we get dumped into the play area, which, as usual, we skirt through, stepping over the wee ones on our way out. This is one pavilion that could benefit from a better gift shop area. Just think of the nifty possibilities of the multitude of items they could hoist onto us! Those merchandising experts at Disney should really use their imaginations. Hey! Yet another moment of irony!

We exit into the Florida sunshine yet again and check out the time. It’s well past lunch and we still have just shy of two hours to go before our trip to Mars. We decide to saunter over to the Mexican pavilion to get a bite to eat. Although we had just had Mexican for dinner the previous evening, Joe is hankering for a taco at the Cantina del San Angel.

As we get close to Mexico, the strains of a strolling mariachi band fill my head. The World Showcase is the king of pulling you into the environment! No matter how many times I’ve been there, I always love to soak in the atmosphere. It’s part of the fun.

We slip over to the Cantina and I hunt down a table while the guys go to the counter to place their orders. Soon after, they join me and we dive in to enjoy tacos, burritos, nacho chips and diet sodas. Authentic cuisine from south of the border. Really reminds me of all those trips we took to Tijuana and Cozumel over the years. Actually, I’m lying through my teeth. Never been to Mexico. I’m really just taking a stroll down memory lane and thinking of all my trips to Chi Chi’s.

Lunch is over without too many interruptions from those evil little black birds that never fail to pop up whenever one tries to eat. They are avian versions of Bill, the Prince of Darkness. Staring with full on irritation because I won’t part with my lunch.

We decide to casually stroll back to Mission: Space. We now have about 45 minutes before our Fast Passes are available but we can use the exercise and decide to take a round about way to get there. We knock around a few gift shops, tempting fate once again. As we reach the pavilion, Vinnie spots another Mickey-head-on-a-stick vendor. Did I tell you, by the way, that he’s lean, without a bit of fat and has wiry muscle on top of wiry muscle? He sucks.

Shortly thereafter, Mission: Space beckons. After the entire afternoon, Dennis starts having misgivings upon seeing all the warnings. “Hmmmm…., don’t ride if you don’t like closed in spaces, simulators, suffer from motion sickness… The only thing that doesn’t apply is that I’m not pregnant!” We all tell him not to worry, that he does not have to go. We assure him that all is well with the world. It’s ok. Just sit tight. Joe even offered to stay with him to keep him company. But nope, Dennis decides that he’ll be fine and wants to join us.

If you want to read the description of this latest addtion to Epcot, read Day Two, Part I of this trip report. The attraction is terrific!

Flash forward to the four of us, sitting in our capsule, flying through space on our mission to Mars. Joe is once again laughing and screaming in sheer joy, Vinnie is cracking up and loving every minute of our adventure, I’m hooting and hollering “woo hoo!”. I glance over at Dennis and he’s stone faced, his mouth is hanging open, his eyes are all watery, his skin color is a strange shade of gray green, and he keeps making a weird swallowing gesture with his throat.

The ride is over, we’re safely back and Joe and Vinnie pop out, chattering and talking a mile a minute. Dennis throws his body ahead, pushes between the two and speed walks through the post show area. He weaves and dodges through the crowd, with Vinnie trailing behind trying to catch up. Joe looks back at me and we both shrug.

“Wonder what that’s about?”

I shrug and nonchalantly say, “Dunno. I guess he has to throw up.”

“Oh. Wanna see what’s in the gift shop? We didn’t before and… Hey! An astronaut pen!”

I suggest that it might be impolite to do so while Dennis is heaving in the bushes somewhere and that perhaps we could show a little support. So we leave the gift shop with yet another mental note to come back later in the week.

We find Vinnie standing about 8 feet from Dennis, with Dennis standing very close to a pretty floral display. To the innocent passerby, he looks like he’s the sensitive type, stopping and smelling the roses. The reality of the situation was that he was fighting from tossing his cookies, keeping his gorge down. “Maybe we should give him a little privacy,” Joe suggests.

So we walk away and find a bench and plop ourselves down. We chat a few minutes and see Vinnie walking towards us, Dennis trailing behind. Dennis is now pale as a ghost, face covered in sweat, walking very, very slowly. He looks a little shaky but none the worse for wear.

“Did you hurl?” Joe asks.

Quietly, Dennis tells him he did not but thought he was. He also mentions that he still feels a bit sick.

I tell him, “You know what makes me feel better? If I throw up. Throwing up when I feel like that makes me feel tons better.”

Joe pipes in, “Me too. I always feel relieved after I vomit. Always!”

Dennis, looking a little greener once again, says, “Guys, you are not helping. Shut up.”

So, as requested, we shut up. And we sat for a few minutes, pondering our next move while Dennis made these gross but oddly intriguing noises in the back of his throat. Note to self, Mission: Space and Chi Chi's style Mexican fast food are not a good mix.

 

[FANTASMIC]

great report!!! thanks

 

[Sinderella]

I LOVE your trip reports! Very funny and detailed. Thanks very much.

 

[chell]

That was wonderful Rick! I've been waiting for more.

 

[bjakmom]

. . . Thanks, Rick ! . . . I needed a good laugh today !! . . . Keep 'em coming!!

 

[corky805]

Another great report! Thanks!

 

[tmq2766]

Keep em comein.

 

[Annie&Hallie'sMom]

You set up a Fountain of Nations in your backyard and I'll provide the music! Don't forget, there's a new show every 15 minutes!

 

[Minniespal]

Wonderful trip report ~ Thanx for sharing.

 

[DouglasF]

I'm a stickler for timeliness also. In that respect I'm like you. Also, I'm a planner. I don't normally do things on the fly. I'm a busy person. If you want to get together with me, my friends know they better schedule something in advance because 10-1 I'll be busy if they dont'.

But then, I can be goofy and don't care what anybody thinks. I loved the story about the picture of Joe holding SE.

 

[Tony-NJ]

Mark my words the irony doesn’t escape me. Ellen. Martina. Billie Jean King. Do you see where I’m going with the theme? It’s ironic I tell you.

LMAO!!!!