New York City Boys in the World: Day Two Part I

[RickinNYC]

Day 2

The phone rang bright and early at 7:30am, Mickey’s voice welcoming us to a new day at Disney World, his cheery demeanor and happy go lucky nature rousing… nah, went back to sleep.

An hour and a half later, I was once again roused, this time by Joe merrily shouting “Time to get up! Let’s go! Up and at ‘em!” He had apparently already showered, did his new hair thing (as God as my witness, I don’t see a thing different) ran down to the bakery for coffee and pastries and was itching to get out and explore. You’d think after 13 years of this, I’d get used to a cheery morning type person. Not a chance. To this day I still picture how I can get away with his demise. His saving grace is that we watch CSI religiously and I know I’ll get busted.

Stretching with a groan, I muttered, “No… more… beer… Pleasure Island is evil and must be destroyed…” I tried to get out of bed. Pay close attention to the word ‘tried.’ I casually rolled to where I’m use to the edge being, only to find more bed. “Wha?” I reached over bleary eyed and saw more mattress ahead of me. This sucker was huge!

I rolled yet again and prepared to throw my legs over the edge but had horribly miscalculated. It wasn’t as huge as I had originally thought. My legs did indeed go over, followed by my butt, hips, torso and ultimately my arms and head. Whoomp!

Startled, but still strangely sleepy, I ended up *** over teakettle on the floor, covered with sheet and comforter. “Why’d you go and do that?” came Joe’s casual question, said through a mouthful of cheese danish.

My response? What I hoped was a baleful stare that I learned from Billy, the Prince of Darkness. It didn’t work. Joe just chortled merrily and headed out to the balcony. Without turning around, he raised his pastry in the air and waved it in the general direction of the bathroom. “Get in the shower and make yourself pretty, we have a big day at Epcot ahead of us! And we have to meet Dennis and Vinnie at 12:00 in front of Spaceship Earth.”

With that, just a short half-hour later, we were walking down the hallway, on our way to the elevators. Passing by the mouse keepers, we merrily greeted them with a happy-go-lucky “Good morning!” in hopes that they’d see us, think “what nice, young, happy, well dressed and remarkably attractive men” and they’d run off and make us the most creative towel animals Walt had ever seen. Hey, a guy can dream!

Ambling down the boardwalk itself, breathing in the warm, clean Florida air, listening to the birds chirping, the tinkling sounds of children giggling, the soft rattle of stroller wheels against the wood walkway, the welcoming smell of cinnamon buns baking, the distant “Daddy, but I waaaaant it!” Aaaaah, the first morning of a Disney World vacation. Magical!

Once again, we entered through the International Gateway and entered Epcot, this time heading towards Futureworld. “Have you noticed that our Disney schedule is completely out of whack? We usually hit the Magic Kingdom the first day or two of our trip,” Joe remarked. “This ‘walking to parks’ thing is pretty neat, but I kinda miss our tradition of climbing on a bus and walking through down Main Street first thing.”

Not sure how I was supposed to react, I gave my signature grunt and nod in agreement. The reality of what was bouncing around in my head, however, was remarkably different. “Oh my God! He loves our traditions! He noticed we even have traditions! He loves Disney World as much as me! He’s obsessed! He needs to come back once a month! Vacation Club, here we come!” But like I said, I actually just grunted and nodded. I had to keep my cool. No need to give everything away, y’know.

With a mutual grunt in response to my own, Joe announced, “We’re off! To Mission: Space!”

Passing by the U.K. pavilion, I noticed a pathway to the left with a bee or honey display. Wasn’t sure which but given that it was the first day of the International Food & Wine Festival, my money was on the honey. I was mesmerized by a dude standing by himself, with a cavalier stance, arm resting cockily on a sign, dressed head to toe in a bee suit. No, he wasn’t dressed AS a bee, he was dressed as if he were ready to ATTACK bees. “Huh,” I muttered.

“What?”

“That guy,” I gestured with my chin.

“What guy?”

“Him, the guy in the bee suit” I gestured once again.

“There’s a guy dressed as a bee? Cool! Where?” Joe asked excitedly, head whipping around like a top.

“No, no, no. He’s dressed like a beekeeper. He’s over there by the bee or honey display, not sure which.” Once again I pointed with my chin. “He’s gotta be hot in that thing.”

“Oh yeah, what about him?”

“Well, I’ve been staring at him (for some odd reason, he fascinated me) and he hasn’t moved an inch. He just stands there, his arm resting on the sign.”

Joe looked over and he too stared. We both stopped walking and gawked, waiting for the guy to do something, anything. “You think he’s okay?” I asked.

“Rick, he’s not real,” Joe chuckled.

Glancing at Joe, “I know he’s not real, he’s in Epcot for the festival. But why isn’t he moving?”

“He’s not real meaning he’s not a guy!”

“Oh, he’s a she? How can you tell? The suit’s all flat, not bumpy in the areas it’s supposed to be bumpy.” I was getting confused and a little frustrated.

With a deep sigh, Joe responded very slowly and calmly, “It’s just a suit with stuffing. There’s no guy, there’s no girl, they just propped up a bee suit for the display.”

“Oh,” I muttered, squinting my eyes, staring as hard as I could. “Well, that’s just dumb. They should have a real guy in the bee suit. It’d be better.”

“Can we go now?”

Sorry folks. But I really do get side tracked with things like that. Anyway, we’re off! To Mission: Space!
We walked a few steps when Joe suddenly came to a lurching halt, which of course ended with me walking straight into him, smacking my chin against his noggin. “What! Why’d you do that?” I demanded, rubbing my jaw vigorously.

“Look! A line! What’s it for?” Whether in Disney World or any other place, Joe is absolutely mystified by people in lines. He sees them and must know what they’re in line for. Typically, he’ll slowly walk towards the front, watching everyone suspiciously. Then, he’ll ever so casually walk along the line, moving towards the back, trying to overhear what everyone is waiting for. Then he’ll repeat, going to the front, and then moving to the back. I personally think he’s looking for a magic line where they might be giving out gold nuggets.

“Ask them! Just ask what they’re in line for! Ask them, ask them, ask them!” I yell from fifteen feet away, hands belligerently on hips (mine, not his). “Quit casing the line. You look like you’re trying to cut.” Whenever I see a line, I do Joe’s exact opposite. I stand a short distance away and study it like a Rubik’s Cube. It never works so the scene always ends the same, Joe tiptoeing about while I, hands on hips (mine, not his), and shout that he should ask someone.

Joe trots over, victory written on his face, looking smug. “They’re in line to get some autograph from someone who created some poster for the Food and Wine thing.”

“Oh. Glad to know you got the specifics. Can we go?”

“Hey! You’re the one who had to stop and stare at some guy in a bee suit! At least this was interesting!”

I shrugged, “Depends who you’re asking. Let’s go.”

We’re off! To Mission: Space!

This time, we actually made it. We even passed through Mouse Gear without incident, interruption or slowing down. The watch display did almost sidetrack me but Joe merely grabbed my t-shirt, kept walking and wouldn’t let go. It was either move along and follow him, or end up with a shirt straight out of Flashdance. Not a difficult decision but I was still tad disgruntled. I have a thing for watches, particularly of the Mickey variety.

We passed through unscathed, all cash and credit cards intact, and walked towards our destination, Mission: Space. As we approached, hundreds of other guests apparently had the same game plan, all making a beeline for this brand spanking new attraction. I noticed others were speed walking, while still others trotted, and yet others ran full tilt boogie to the entrance. I could tell by looking at him that Joe wanted to join the masses and bolt.

With a haughty sniff, I mightily decreed, “I will not sacrifice my dignity and self respect for the sake of saving five minutes standing in line.” I even think I looked down my nose at the hoards.

Joe on the other hand was walking calmly, and then would shoot forward with a burst of speed, stop and then gesture like a lunatic, arms waving akimbo, and shout, “Come ON! Let’s GO!”

I gave him every assurance that I was indeed coming, choosing to ignore his fidgeting and cajoling. This, of course, did not sit well with him at all. Joe chose this moment and decided that I needed a not-so-gentle push so he moved behind me as I strolled along, put both hands on my shoulders and pushed with all his might. “Let’s GO! Let’s GO! I’m not getting any younger and neither are you!”

This all, by the way, was a ruse simply to get my revenge for not allowing me to leisurely ogle the Mickey Mouse watches that I needed. Yes, needed. My interest in said watches has absolutely nothing to do with desire, but has everything to do with need. So a bit of foot dragging was my passive aggressive way of getting my comeuppance. Besides, he was now behind me, I couldn’t do my signature stare.

Nevertheless, as we neared the pavilion, my feet quickly picked up their pace and I surged forward, oohing and aahing at the giant Mars dohickey in the front. Pretty neat stuff! I neglected to mention that in so doing, I forgot that Joe was behind me shoving me like a mule and in so walking superfast, he stumbled and tripped over his own feet. I won’t tell you the very non-Disney, very choice words he shared.

Did I tell you that when I see someone trip or stumble, it never fails to make me snicker like a child? Joe thinks it’s an immature and nasty reaction too. No need for you to get on my case. Anyway, I snorted and snickered at his expense and we moved on.

“Hey! Fastpass says it’s just a 45 minute wait! And Standby is only 25 minutes. Let’s get a ticket and ride now so we can do it twice!” I figured it was the perfect thing to do given we wouldn’t have to meet up with friends until noon and it was only just barely 10am. So in went our tickets and out popped our Fastpass. Easy as pie.

We entered the Standby line and bammo, we strolled/trotted through the queue to find we were only 10-15 people back in line. 25 minutes? Didn’t look like it. The theming was remarkable and really set the mood. The announcements over the PA system, plus the space station off to the side really lent a great atmosphere. I was growing more excited by the minute.

We moved up in line and we were next.

“How many?” said the jovial, perpetually grinning cast member.

“Two!” shouted Joe jovially, matching the perpetual grin tooth for tooth.

“Blue room please,” was the calm response, indicating the way with the famed two finger Disney point.

We follow instructions well and walked over to the blue room as instructed. We were each assigned numbers, which, as it turns out, corresponded to the roles we’d play in this mighty space adventure. Other guests were muttering around us quietly. “I hope I don’t throw up. I heard people throw up on this.” “This is so cool!” “I’m navigator, what are you?” “But Daddy, I waaaaant it!”

The excitement was building. Like us, there were quite a few who had never been on this particular attraction so we had to take everything in with wide eyed excitement. The monitor up above popped on and we were politely welcomed on our mission to Mars by the world famous Gary Sinise. Joe nudged me and whispered, “Hey! It’s him! I love him!”

I nudged back, “I know! Now quit it, I’m trying to listen to him.”

“Gary Sinise (sigh)… he’s so… so…”

“Yeah, yeah. Dreamy, with his basset hound bags under his eyes. I know,” I grumbled.

Joe was quite taken aback at this and retorted, “He does not have basset bags, he’s…” He never finished his sentence because I kicked his shin and pointed at the screen with my chin, making my eyes all crabby and glarey. But I couldn’t hold it for too long. Joe’s reproachful look was just too cute. Plus, I knew if I kept it up, I’d get a whack on my own shin for my trouble.

Our roles were assigned, the presentation was over, and we were about to be herded to our respective capsule. The cast member started announcing each row by number, ushering all of us forward. Here’s an interesting aside. I notice that, without fail, guests of all kinds tend to have massive brain farts and don’t seem to understand that when their number is called, that means that they should do something. I don’t know, oh… like move maybe? Maybe it’s just me.
Anyway, back to the story. Our number was called and we scooted down the hall while being heralded by the most incredibly sweeping “hero” music I’d ever heard. They really made you feel as if you were a big bad astronaut on his/her way to mission control.

Joe was impressed as well, “I feel like I’m in a movie!” With that, he puffed out his chest, put his hands on his hips and strutted in his best walking Superman walk he could muster. You gotta love the guy.

We marched up to our respective assigned numbers and stations, Joe still puffed up like a marshmallow in the microwave. “Quit that! You look stupid.”

I should mention another very Joe-like characteristic. If we’re in a place like Disney World, and he’s doing something that would be considered silly, i.e. previously mentioned fez, puffing up his chest and walking like a superhero, trying on a sombrero and dancing with maracas, “drinking” the water in Small World and bellowing “I am the lizard queen!” with maniacal eyes, and more, and if he notices any eye rolling from me, he does it ten fold. His mission is to make me die of embarrassment. He’s good at it.

That said, he grinned at me, and puffed his chest out as far as it would go, grinning ear to ear, hands firmly on hips (his, not mine). If he had a coat, I’ve no doubt it would be flapping about as an imaginary cape. Thank God it was hot out.

So we enter our assigned capsule and take our seats. Chest restraints are pulled down and the entrances are closed. Hmmm, it’s dark in here and there’s a ton of pretty, shiny buttons, levers and lights. But alas, they’re far out of reach, even for my gangly arms. Try as I might, I can’t reach a single one. What’s that? Hissing? Hmmm, the panel with all the googahs is moving forward, bringing all that electronic magic within my grasp. And the panel still moves ever forward. And still closer. And yet closer. Not only are those buttons within reach, I can push them with my nose they’re so close! Fair warning to all claustrophobics. This ride ain’t for you.

As I merrily play with all the electronics, some kid that I hadn’t noticed before quickly scolds me. We had apparently accepted our very dangerous yet exciting mission to Mars with some kid and his dad. “Hey! You can’t do that! We haven’t taken off yet! Stop!” If you’ve ever been yelled at by a nine year old, it’s pretty humbling. So look before you touch.

There’s a rumble and our capsule rolls back. Each seat is fitted with an incredibly high definition screen displaying what appears to be the tower of our launch pad. As we face the sky, seagulls fly overhead. The rumble gets louder and the countdown reaches zero. The entire capsule is shaking a bit and smoke starts billowing the edges of our “window.” Lift off!

We get squished down into our seats, gravity smooshing us back as we break from Earth’s atmosphere. Joe and I, and our fellow travelers, are hooting, screaming, hollering and laughing uproariously. Incredible! And it’s just begun! We break away and suddenly yet smoothly, we feel a moment of weightlessness. Nothing so pronounced that you think you’re actually floating, but it was effective nonetheless!

The engineer (me) is instructed to detach from the main thrusters… NOW! So I push the blinking button like a good astronaut and we feel our capsule detach. Then the captain is instructed to engage his thrusters to shoot us around the moon, which he does so gamely. Who knew nine-year-old captains were that adept at commanding rockets? Live and learn.

We were soon skimming the surface of the earth’s atmosphere, marveling at the sights below us, gravity once again pulling us back into our seats. Shortly thereafter, I was instructed to put us into hypersleep so of course, I did as instructed. You never know what might happen and we had a long trip ahead of us. Don’t know about you but a nap always makes the flight go faster.

Suddenly, Something Goes Horribly Wrong! We were awakened, not with Mickey merrily welcoming us to a new day, but a loud klaxon of bells and whistles, alarms and flashing little lights. What to do? What to do?! Massive meteors surround us on all sides! We each follow our button pushing instructions and make it through without any noticeable damage. Disaster averted.

We land on Mars but suddenly, Something Goes Horribly Wrong! Apparently our brakes or some such got knocked out of whack so we have to shut off the autopilot and revert to manual steering. All hands on your respective control stick! It tries to move left when we’re instructed to move right. It goes forward when we’re supposed to pull back. It jiggles and waggles out of control but we fight it tooth and nail. We crashed through a snow barrier but we made it in one piece.

We breath easy now and await our accolades when, say it with me folks, Something Goes Horribly Wrong! The area we skidded to a stop on was made of fragile ice! It starts to crack and fall away. Our capsule tilts all the way forward. We’re staring into a yawning abyss! Joe’s boyfriend Gary calmly orders us, “Don’t… move… a muscle.” So, as good as our word, we stay as still as possible and our capsule slowly but surely and oh so gently falls back into place.

We’re safe. Our mission to Mars is a complete success! Gary says so.

Next up, we meet up with Vinnie and Dennis and I begin to slowly go insane.

 

[IloveDMB]

Sounds like a lot of fun. Thanks for writing. Keep them coming.

 

[chell]

I'm loving these! You're doing a great job!!!

 

[anne60]

you are not the only one that laughs when people fall...... I even laughed at my elderly Mother once (well, she was carrying a basket of laundry and the clothes went everywhere!). I can't wait to ride MS!!

 

[Princess_Eeyore]

Thanks for writing! This is so much fun

 

[momdeb]

Great report! I laugh at inappropriate times, too...a morbid sense of humor we have. Last year, my 84-year-old grandmother's lawn chair tipped over to the side and she slowly rolled out of it. She didn't get hurt, and I got it on video tape. I watched it over and over again because it was so funny.

 

[rasnlms]

Great report - keep them coming!!

 

[WDWLinda]

Thanks for the great report on Mission Space. I can't ride it because I know Something Would Go Horribly Wrong! (like I throw up all over myself and the rest of the unsuspecting Space travelers), but now I feel like I've just done it. You've given the best description I've seen so far.

Keep on writing!!!

 

[Tink03477]

Love your reports, you are too funny! My son seems to be in the same catogory as you when I trip. (which I guess is quite often) he thinks it pretty funny too. I'm only embarrassed for a minute but he's laughing for 5! I totally understand your obsession with the watches. I have about 6 of them!! 4 Pooh Bears, a Minnie and a Tink. I "need" a Mickey now! (mouse, that is hahaha). Can't wait for the next report! Thanks for writing them! I love your description of MS too!

 

[donzgyrl]

I just read your previous thread " a sensitive request for help" I was teary eyed through it all. CONGRATULATIONS Then I read your trip reports you guys seem like such fun! I LOVe the reports so far, I am looking forward to reading more. And I love the description for the Mission:Space I can't wait to ride that ( unfortunately I have to wait 181 days for my next trip, Honeymoon!) and you've made me look forward to it more!!! Keep on writing!! Once again CONGRATS!!

 

[MAGICinMYHEART]

You know what happens to bad boys that party to much at Pleasure Island...They turn into donkey's

don·key ( P ) Pronunciation Key (dngk, dng-, dông-)
n. pl. don·keys
1 The domesticated *** (Equus asinus).
2 Slang. An obstinate person.
3 Slang. A stupid person.

It also happens to people that say,"Gary Sinise has basset hound bags under his eyes."

Dreamy, yes that must be what saved you Rick....

GREAT REPORTS

 

[debster812]

Rick--these are great! They are just like what I thought they would be. Keep em coming.

Hugs

Debbie

PS--Congrats to you and Joe!!!!!!!

 

[DMS_cruisers04]

Rick, have you ever seen the movie The Cutting Edge with Moira Kelly and D.B.Sweeney? If you, or anyone else, hasn't, there is a scene in which Sweeney's character, a former hockey player, is learning to skate in figure skates. Every time he trips himself up and falls, Kelly's character skates up and snickers "toe pick", and skates away laughing.
Since seeing this, "toe pick" has become DW's and my favorite response to a stumble, a trip or a fall. So you're not in the minority, you're in the majority.

Keep the TR's coming, we're luvin' 'em.

 

[corky805]

Your trip reports are just fabulous!! You are a very talented writer. I can't wait to hear more!!

 

[tmq2766]

Great report!!!!! Rode Mission: Space twice a couple weeks ago and now I feel like I have riden it a third!
Keep em coming!

 

[inky dinky doo]

I absolutely loved (y)our ride on Mission: Space!! Thanks for taking me along! Can't wait to see where we go next!

Pat

15 days and counting . . . again!

 

[MScott1851]

Basset hound bags under his eyes!?!?! How dare you! Gary Sinise is sexy, with or without legs. And I'm glad to see I wasn't the only one hooting and making wolf whistles in the pre-show area. My husband tried to crawl inside the backpack, he was so embarrassed...


Glad to hear the question popping and ring giving went (almost) as planned...My best friend and his partner just got back from Vermont, where they got married last week. Here's to you and Joe!

 

[2tinksmom]

Your reports have me laughing out loud!! My DD(10) keeps coming in wanting to know what's so funny!! Thanks for the great Mission: Space ride-along. My DD is a little nervous about riding...she's afraid she might puke and EMBARRESS herself, ooooh nooo! After reading your report, she's ready to go. She said, "That actually sounds fun" which is what I've been telling her, lol. I, too, am passive-agressive. Just ask my DH. He gets a little concerned when I look at him sweetly and tell him he might want to think about getting a new toothbrush.... Keep the reports comin'!!

 

[DouglasF]

Great start to the day! Mission:Space! I agree with both of you. Gary Sinise has a sexy quality despite the bags under his eyes.