New TTC Thread

[KiKi Mouse]

*big group squish hug* with a big chaser of wine.

I really wish I could hug you all. TTC is such a lonely and depressing thing that controls your life every day. Charting, temping, meds, BDing because you have to...not because you want to, waiting, etc. Only to go through it month after month.
It take a toll.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

YES! We have been trying for only 15 months, but we were supposed to start trying before that so I feel like we have been waiting on this baby for over 2 years. I have held onto a job that I hate because "if" we have a child it is a flexible job for me to be at home. We also didn't get a second dog, because we thought we'd be busy with a baby. I don't know how much longer I can stick out being at my boring job though, if we don't get pregnant this year I have to find something else before I go crazy. Is it acceptable to be a stay at home mom if you only have a dog?

Of course you can be a stay at home mommy of a doggie!

I built my life around "ifs" for the past 2 years, too. It really starts to suck after awhile. It keeps you in this constant stage of paralysis because you're afraid to make any changes because of the "if."

 

[irisbud]

We are definitely going through that right now.

It is so stressful, and you are right, it gets to the point where it does consume your life. I guess DH heard from some other people that they finally got pregnant when they stopped trying. I told him I just wasn't there yet. Even if we weren't "trying" I would know what cycle day I was on, etc. and would still be "trying". I am no where near ready to give up yet, and can't stop tyring until I am. Sometimes, I think it would probably be better if we did, but then I think "what if we miss the day just because of stuff" and I can't help myself...

My insurance went up over $250 a month for no reason (well, they said it was because people in my network use the insurance...). I wanted to switch to a plan that is the same but costs about 1/4 as much. Can't do it...might get pregnant within the first year. Want to change jobs...want to plan for this...want to maybe do that...nope, what if I get pregnant. My head hurts, should I take some Asprin...hmm, on the tww probably shouldn't risk it...no alcohol ever (not really a big loss for me, just saying)...feel bad when I drink my one cup of tea in the morning because of the caffieene...scold DH for doing unhealthy things that might effect fertility then feel TERRIBLE afterwards...I've gone crazy I know it, but I still can't seem to stop myself...

DH and I are in a position where we could take a trip to Europe in the spring...what if I get pregnant...I really wrestled with this one and still am. I told myself that that's fine, but what if I don't? Then I am at home not pregnant and not in Europe and feeling twice as miserable, KWIM? Then a friend asked if we wanted to do a trip with them instead, a Bahamian 7-night cruise. I thought, that would be better if I was pregnant...but what if I'm not, would I regret missing Europe? It is crazy!

 

[KiKi Mouse]

We are definitely going through that right now.

It is so stressful, and you are right, it gets to the point where it does consume your life. I guess DH heard from some other people that they finally got pregnant when they stopped trying. I told him I just wasn't there yet. Even if we weren't "trying" I would know what cycle day I was on, etc. and would still be "trying". I am no where near ready to give up yet, and can't stop tyring until I am. Sometimes, I think it would probably be better if we did, but then I think "what if we miss the day just because of stuff" and I can't help myself...

My insurance went up over $250 a month for no reason (well, they said it was because people in my network use the insurance...). I wanted to switch to a plan that is the same but costs about 1/4 as much. Can't do it...might get pregnant within the first year. Want to change jobs...want to plan for this...want to maybe do that...nope, what if I get pregnant. My head hurts, should I take some Asprin...hmm, on the tww probably shouldn't risk it...no alcohol ever (not really a big loss for me, just saying)...feel bad when I drink my one cup of tea in the morning because of the caffieene...scold DH for doing unhealthy things that might effect fertility then feel TERRIBLE afterwards...I've gone crazy I know it, but I still can't seem to stop myself...

DH and I are in a position where we could take a trip to Europe in the spring...what if I get pregnant...I really wrestled with this one and still am. I told myself that that's fine, but what if I don't? Then I am at home not pregnant and not in Europe and feeling twice as miserable, KWIM? Then a friend asked if we wanted to do a trip with them instead, a Bahamian 7-night cruise. I thought, that would be better if I was pregnant...but what if I'm not, would I regret missing Europe? It is crazy!

You are right about even when you aren't trying you are trying. Because you can never not remember what day of your cycle you are on and when those fertile days are so you gotta BD because missing a month means one more month of no chance. Argh.
I did manage to give up on the what ifs. Every month I would think "what if" and calculate an approximate due date in my head only to be devastated at the end of the month. I did everything right and then some and still nothing would happen. I took it personally. I was nasty to my husband at times. If you don't have a strong relationship it can rock it. The stress was horrible for both of us.

As for the trips. I would say go for it. Being pregnant isn't going to change anything other than having a few drinks.

We did get lucky and did manage to get pregnant with a sticky baby after two devastating m/c. My neurosis just shifted and I am crazy as ever.

 

[D&DDisney]

Sorry to rain on everyone's parade yesterday. It just seems so hard right now.
I think we hold the record here for trying. It took us 9 years multiple surgeries, various meds, tons of procedures and 1 adoption to get 1 IUI to work. Now my youngest is 7 almost 8 and here we are STILL TRYING. Not even full fledge trying - just occasional stuff cuz I don't want this to consume us. So much for that!!! And lastly, I'm 40 now so that takes what little chance I have and cuts it into fourths.

Oh, and our IUIs cost around $650 total for the procedures and around $50 for Clomid each month. None of this covered by insurance.

I truly am happy for those who finally got their BFP. This is your time and you have every right to enjoy it and be excited. Congrats on graduating to the "Moms to Be" thread.

 

[D&DDisney]

irisbud - Yes...go on your trips! I agree w/ Kiki, pregnancy shouldn't be a problem except for drinks. Who knows, maybe your baby was meant to be conceived in Europe!

 

[Kronk's girl]

AF arrived today

Irisbud- we must be on the same page... We also have the opportunity to go to Europe this spring, and we have decided to go. I almost gave up a different trip this last year because I thought "I will for sure be pregnant by then" and of course I wasn't and I am glad that I didn't miss that trip.

The "if" game is a terrible one.

Does anyone else have a struggle with their allergies? I am dreading allergy season because the only meds that work for me cannot be taken while TTC. When allergies season comes I turn into a zombie and I sneeze and blow my nose all night to the point that my husband has to sleep in another room for 3 months and it is so awful. My husband talked to me about skipping TTC for those months this year so that I can breathe, but then I feel like I am wasting a chance at a baby! I'll have to think about it because the last allergy season I suffered through it and still didn't get a baby.

OH YEAH-- HAPPY (second) WEDDING DAY ESBRICK!!! and Happy New Year to everyone else!!!

 

[irisbud]

Kronk's girl: sorry about AF . Tough choice with the allergies. I don't have them very bad, thankfully.

Kiki: My DH and I do have a great relationship, but I am always worried that this TTC will send us over the edge someday if it continues for too long. It seems like it tears a lot of people apart. He really wants a baby too, but doesn't have the same sense of impatience as I do for whatever reason so sometimes can't understand my feelings on the subject. He's been really great through it all though.

ETA: HAPPY SECOND WEDDING DAY ESBRICK!!!!! I hope you have a great day!

 

[WDWorBUST]

And on top of all the other pressures the clomid has turned me into a BI@#$ with a capital B. Fortunatlely DH has been understanding....but man I have been flat out mean at times....and I'm not a mean person at all.

 

[irisbud]

And on top of all the other pressures the clomid has turned me into a BI@#$ with a capital B. Fortunatlely DH has been understanding....but man I have been flat out mean at times....and I'm not a mean person at all.

I am worried about that to if I do chlomid..not just with DH...I may finally lose it on some of the stupids who come into my office

 

[si-am]

Oh, man, I am totally with you guys on all of this!

I've been trying for close to three years now and the first year I didn't stress too much about it, but for the past year and a half, it's gotten pretty bad.

I do feel like it's put a strain on our marriage at times, too. I get emotional all the time, which DH doesn't understand. He doesn't really appreciate having to perform "on schedule" all the time. It's all started to feel like a chore. PLUS, he's 7 years younger than I am (I'm 35, he's 28) so he's not really understanding the time pressure involved here with my age. I also have these terrible thoughts that if I can't give him a child, he could always leave me and find someone his own age who can. He has NEVER given me any cause for concern over this, but I can't help thinking it!

I've given up on the "what ifs" though. For a long time I kept putting things off, like "what if I'm pregnant by then," etc. But after so long, what's the point? I'm not even really careful with drinking these days!

 

[WDWorBUST]

The funny thing about the clomid....I haven't had hot flashes, funky vision...or any other symptom. It just dawned on me last night that I have been "out of sorts" since I started taking the clomid. And by "out of sorts" ....well it's been ugly. I even went off on some folks at work and I can't help but think that it contributed (they deserved it and my supervisor actually found the whole thing funny....but I was ashamed at my behavior)

As for the "what ifs" well I try not to dwell on those. I don't drink anyway but I've been pretty lax about my prenatals here lately because after all - what's the use? I need to get back to regularly taking them.

I will keep you all in my prayers that 2010 will be THE year for us.

 

[Mrs. Charming]

Hang in there ladies... I know it's hard. If *I* got pregnant... you can too. I know it toally (bleeping) sucks.

However, I gotta say-- go to a RE if you haven't already. I don't think I would have gotten pg if I hadn't. I'd still be full of polyps, scar tissue, endo, and all that other junk in there that I never knew I had. The surgery kinda sucked, but well worth it. I guess clomid can't work if you have endo covering your ovaries!

So I went in for my 2nd beta today, it was 801, so it doubled and then a little more. I nearly had a heart attack, the nurse called and said they wanted to schedule a pregnancy scan for next week, and didn't mention a thing about my bloodwork! My heart started pounding... I felt myself go cold, and I somehow managed to get out "So my numbers were that low, huh?" She said "Oh, no, they were 801, they're fine." GAHHHHH!!! Like she couldn't have started the conversation like that?!! So the numbers are fine, and progesterone is still 21, which I think is ok, and I get my first u/s next Thursday.

Happy New Year everyone, I hope 2010 is a VERY fertile year!!

 

[irisbud]

That's great news, Mrs. Charming!

 

[chloelovesdisney]

Happy New Year ladies, here's to some babydust for all of us in 2010!!!

 

[Mrs. Charming]

Ughhh... I'm going in to the Dr. tomorrow morning for an u/s... I'm having nasty low back pain that won't go away and some light tan discharge and I'm really afraid it's another m/c. Crap crap crap.

 

[Leger13]

Ok, I NEED to join this thread. I have needed this thread for a long time now. I don't know why I didn't think to search for it on here until now. I love all of my DIS buds but I never thought to seek infertility support here before.

My name is Carla and I am 28 years old. My DH is Chris and he is 29 years old. We have been TTC for almost 5 years now (since May of 2005). We tried on our own for 2 years with no luck and then we went to see an RE. We dragged our feet on that because my DH was not into going to the dr. It took me SO long to get him to do an s/a. I finally got him to do one in 2008. I got the "results" from my ultrasound tech because it was going to take a while to get an appt with the dr to go over everything and what our options were. Well, I told my DH that they weren't good results and he got really upset. We had financial issues and marital issues so badly that year that we almost separated. We got back on the same page with eachother and stopped focusing so much on TTC and our marriage came back together and we grew closer. Well, my patience and not pestering my DH about TTC has finally paid off. A few days ago he said he wanted to go back to the dr and try IUI. I was so floored. I was planning a ton of trips for this year and he says to me "what about a baby?". I will take trying for a baby at the dr over going on vacations any day!! I hope to share this journey with you ladies if you don't mind. I've read a few pages and you all seem like very caring and understanding women. I really need that right now and hope I can do the same for those of you here.

Also, congratulations to all of you that have gotten a positive HPT recently. What a wonderful xmas/new years gift. I wish you all a great 9 months that results with those wonderful babies that you have been dreaming about for so long.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

Si-am,

I am six years older than DH and I said those exact same things to him! Totally irrational and he was very insulted and hurt I would say such things. I also put a lot of pressure on him at times to "perform" and it didn't go well. I would say the first six months after our first m/c was the worst. I was a hormonal emotional mess and he caught the worst of it. Fortunately he was very understanding (most of the time LOL) and would say the right things. I had to remember too that he was going through a lot and wanted another baby as much as I did. He just didn't have to go through what we women go through.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

Mrs. Charming,

I hope things are going to be okay. Please update us when you get back from the doctor. We're here for you.

 

[Leger13]

Ughhh... I'm going in to the Dr. tomorrow morning for an u/s... I'm having nasty low back pain that won't go away and some light tan discharge and I'm really afraid it's another m/c. Crap crap crap.

oh no. I hope that it's not another m/c. I am new here but I will for sure be praying for good news at the dr tomorrow morning.