New TTC Thread

[Maggimus]

Hey!! Thanks for the welcome, everyone!! This is really our first month of hardcore trying. My monthly friend hasn't come by to visit yet... so maybe things will look up sooner rather than later. Until then... ill mix and mingle with all of you!!



DH and I want children of our own but we have always said that in life we would adopt. I want to adopt 2 children. So regardless of what happens (although I hope and pray for my own!) we will hopefully one day have little maggimus' running around.



Hey WDWAurora!! I remember you well!! How long have you been trying?

 

[KiKi Mouse]

MomSully,
Very big hugs. Monday must have been so hard. I don't even know what to say. My DD is Sept 8. I just want this next month to get over with. At the end of August it will be one year since I lost my best friend to a brain aneurysm.

Maggimus,

Welcome. I too hope you aren't here long.

DH and I have looked into adopting but there is no way we can afford it at $30,000. There may be some other options available to us but I haven't looked into those yet. We just looked into international adoption from Ukraine.


JLCdisney0310 & GypsySue

Nope...not fair that people cannot have children due to financial issues. Makes me sick that all these movie stars can just open their wallets and have twins.


AFM,
Just pluggin along. Some days I feel defeated and just take the "whatever" attitude. Trying not to spend too much time on obsessing about getting pregnant. So far this month the emotions have been more normal. I have to say it has taken a full five months to finally feel better emotionally. There's been less crying and less focus on TTC.

I am probably coming across as a downer...but I am feeling indifferent lately. maybe that is a good thing and the stress hormones are reduced which lowers bad cortisol and maybe then I will get pregnant.

Keep going with the updates ladies...it's good to hear from everybody.

*hugs*

 

[KiKi Mouse]

sorry-double post

 

[DznyLvr2005]

Hi everyone...
Well Emma is 5 weeks old and it's still as hard as ever at night. She went for her monthly check-up and the doc said that she isn't eating right. She eats the right amounts (she's already 9lbs 6oz) But she;ll only eat 2oz every hour or 2. She will not eat 5oz at once, like she's supposed to. We're trying to get her on a schedule. It's very hard because she just cries and cries to eat and we're refusing to feed her until she's "supposed" to eat. Other than that, the Nestle Good Start is a wonder, no more gas like she had with all the Similac she was on. She just spits up alot more on the Good Start, but that's better than gas I guess.

 

[TAKitty]

I am just so upset and have no place to turn. My dh and I have been having unprotected sex for six years. This June I started the infertility process. I am completely fine. My Dh, on the other hand, has really crappy sperm. Now I wouldn't be so upset by this, but he has two kids from a previous marriage! He had NO problem conceiving them.

I feel devastated and cheated. He agreed when we got married that we would have one child. I had never been married before nor had any children before so this was a key point to our getting married.

I love his children, but I want my own.

Yesterday we had our doctor's appointment to discuss our "options". The doctor suggests IVF with ISCI. Today my DH said he won't do that. He is pulling the Catholic card out. He will do IUI, but with his low counts and the cells attaching to the sperm to kill them, the outlook is dismal.

Anyone have success with IUI with low sperm quality? I can't stop crying today.

 

[Maggimus]

I am just so upset and have no place to turn. My dh and I have been having unprotected sex for six years. This June I started the infertility process. I am completely fine. My Dh, on the other hand, has really crappy sperm. Now I wouldn't be so upset by this, but he has two kids from a previous marriage! He had NO problem conceiving them.

I feel devastated and cheated. He agreed when we got married that we would have one child. I had never been married before nor had any children before so this was a key point to our getting married.

I love his children, but I want my own.

Yesterday we had our doctor's appointment to discuss our "options". The doctor suggests IVF with ISCI. Today my DH said he won't do that. He is pulling the Catholic card out. He will do IUI, but with his low counts and the cells attaching to the sperm to kill them, the outlook is dismal.

Anyone have success with IUI with low sperm quality? I can't stop crying today.

I dont have any advice but.. you seem like you could use one of these

 

[D&DDisney]

TAKitty - So sorry! Just don't give up hope. Trying IUI even w/ low quality still might be an option. Cheaper than IVF. You just never know what can happen.

KiKi and Momsully - for you 2 too. This seems to be a very hard time of the year in general. Can't imagine the sadness you must have right now.
I lost my Dad 1 year ago and this month has really been stikin'. Just been so .

WDWAurora - Sorry you're out this time. Doesn't it stink when it seems everything is so perfect and going so well and then ITS NOT!

 

[TAKitty]

Thank you for your support and hugs. I just didn't know wanting a good thing like a child can be so hard. I am a teacher too so I feel like I just can't get away from kids.

 

[D&DDisney]

Why is it that teachers always have a hard time TTC? Is it because we're around kids so much? Do they emit a form of birth control????

 

[skuttle]

Why is it that teachers always have a hard time TTC? Is it because we're around kids so much? Do they emit a form of birth control????

Maybe this is our problem!! When I had DS, DH wasn't a teacher yet...he was still in school. We've been TTC #2 since DH graduated and started teaching and we've had no luck!

TAKitty, my DH and I have a 5 year old son who was a surprise. We've been TTC #2 for over 2 years. DH was tested in the spring and we found out he has crappy sperm, too. It took A LOT of talking, crying, etc for me to convince him to even have his sperm tested. I did a bunch of testing, found some insulin resistance and was put on Metformin, but my Dr. wouldn't try anything else until DH got tested. It took a while for my DH to agree. He couldn't (and still struggles with it) understanding why he and our DS weren't "good enough." He finally agreed to get tested and, unfotunately, his sperm count was low AND the sperm are not formed properly. So our next step is for DH to follow-up with a urologist. It took about a month for DH to finally agree to do the follow-up. He hasn't gone yet. I haven't made the appointment. I just dont know if I'm ready to jump into that because I know there's very little my DH would be willing to try (meds, procedures, etc). So I've put it off.

Courtney..I'm so sorrry this isn't your month! You have been trying so many different things...something HAS to work for you soon!

Kiki...when I read your update, I thought you described how I have felt lately perfectly...Indifferent. That is me, for sure these past few months. I still get sad/upset when I see pregnant ladies, but nothing like I did when we were really TTC with the temps and meds and BD schedule. I think after we received DH's tests results, I began indifferent. I'm afraid of what further testing may show re DH's sperm, so I've put off the add'l testing. Indifferent...that is the word I've been searching for to describe me lately.

Maggimus...Welcome to the thread. But as others have said, I hope your stay is a MUCH shorter one!

Momsully...Tanks for asking about me. Like I've said before, I haven't scheduled DH's follow-up appt. Just not sure if I'm ready to jump into all of that yet. *sigh* Have fun planning your trip! I'm wanting to do a Disneyland trip soon! I've had WDW to keep my mind off of things, too! We just upgraded to staying at AKL so we are THRILLED!!

Beth, I am SO very sorry. It really isn't fair. I don't understand it at all, and I suppose that's adds to the frustration for sure. I'm am just so sorry...my heart breaks for you.

 

[WDWAurora]

Hey WDWAurora!! I remember you well!! How long have you been trying?

Since April of 2007...so 16 or so months, now. We had a possible loss last fall, the week before one of DH's brothers called to say they were expecting. The week before I threw her baby shower, DH's sister came over to tell us they were expecting their 3rd. I guess I'll be doing that baby shower soon.

Luckily after the thing that happened in the fall, the dr. I went to see put me on some medication, so I was only trying without any help for about 6 mos. Then after 6 mos of that, I got referred to a specialist. That was about 3 months ago, but I've only been really getting treated by them for a little over a month due to some weird cycle stuff.

Anyway, probably more than you wanted to know when you asked how long we'd been trying.

For another general update, I went for my baseline ultrasound today. My lining was thinner than last month, and I'm still just spotting, so they had me do a pregnancy test, which was of course a BFN. I think it was thinner because my last cycle was like 60 days, and this one is ending at less than 28...Big difference! Less time to build up. Just a rotten day...

 

[TAKitty]

Maybe this is our problem!! When I had DS, DH wasn't a teacher yet...he was still in school. We've been TTC #2 since DH graduated and started teaching and we've had no luck!

TAKitty, my DH and I have a 5 year old son who was a surprise. We've been TTC #2 for over 2 years. DH was tested in the spring and we found out he has crappy sperm, too. It took A LOT of talking, crying, etc for me to convince him to even have his sperm tested. I did a bunch of testing, found some insulin resistance and was put on Metformin, but my Dr. wouldn't try anything else until DH got tested. It took a while for my DH to agree. He couldn't (and still struggles with it) understanding why he and our DS weren't "good enough." He finally agreed to get tested and, unfotunately, his sperm count was low AND the sperm are not formed properly. So our next step is for DH to follow-up with a urologist. It took about a month for DH to finally agree to do the follow-up. He hasn't gone yet. I haven't made the appointment. I just dont know if I'm ready to jump into that because I know there's very little my DH would be willing to try (meds, procedures, etc). So I've put it off.

:

My DH was/is just as resistant to going to the doctor too! I schedule all appointments and do the talking when we go. We went to the urologist and the appointment wasn't as bad as he or I thought it was going to be. He had to have some blood drawn and tested before 10 am. They did do an exam but it was VERY short. One feel and it was done. All the areas they tested the sperm are just low and bad for us. We have to go for another test but he hasn't scheduled it and I am too emotional right now to do it. They wanted us to wait a month. My doctor said that since we haven't had a baby in 6 years that the numbers probably won't come back normal but a little bit better will increase our odds. He won't go into the room and do his "thing" so it is a nightmare to get him tested. I have the most regular cycles I could plan out my period for a year and it only varys by a day or two!

Hang in there!

 

[tink2020]

Hi ladies! I have avoided posting on here since the girls were born because I remember how hard it can be just SEEING babies and hearing about success stories when you're still waiting for yours. I thought about deleting my pictures, etc because I remember hating the complaints (or, honestly, even the joys ) of those "more fortunate" than I was.

I have been reading along though, and it seems a lot of people are hearing (maybe for the first time) a diagnosis of Male Factor issues. I wanted to chime in and let you know that my heart goes out to you. When TAKitty posted her feelings after learning of their current situation, I could feel myself immediately back to when we heard similar things.

My DH had a "zero" sperm count. Out of every sample, there were less than 100,000 (less than 1 million = "zero", and he had much fewer). Of those "less than 100,000", many were dead, hardly ANY were formed right, and virtually none could swim. I remember the devastation... the hopelessness I felt. Even when they described IVF/ICSI, a) it didn't seem like it would work even if b) we could figure out a way to make it happen. It was such a scary time, facing the "what ifs"... the financial dilemmas (which were huge for us!)... the moral/ethical questions that I had regarding fertility treatments ... I can remember all too clearly the reality I faced that I "may" never have biological children. Those are levels (and volumes) of emotions that nobody should have to deal with.

Even after that initial diagnosis, we of course had the HSGs, the treatments, the meds... DH had a testicular biopsy to remove vials in hopes that there was SOMETHING to work with. The whole time of course, we tried not to get our hopes up but were terrified that our biggest fear might be true.



I'm sure I have nothing good to offer other than maybe a glimmer of hope to those in a similar situation, but I just want you all to know I think of you often and pray that you ALL get the BFP you're looking for. I know there's nothing else I can say to make your situations any better, but my heart truly does break for those of you still waiting. I will continue reading along, and am glad to be a listening ear if anyone ever wants to send a PM, etc -- I just don't want to be more bothersome than helpful. Please take care of yourselves and know that this whole group is in my thoughts and prayers!

 

[KiKi Mouse]

I don't have time to reply to everyone but Skuttle I did want to say this;

I am thinking "indifferent" is a way of protecting myself from the heart ache????

I can't say acceptance because I doubt I could ever accept our miscarriage.

I am doing better...don't get upset all the time over pregnancy stuff but I have the occasional surprise anxiety attacks (last one was when we were out and about and somebody with a newborn sat at our table). I had to sit there and choke back tears while my head spun and my heart race.

To everyone *big hugs*. One day at a time. We're here for each other.

 

[momsully]

Allison - We stayed at AKL for the first time this past April. You will love it there. It was one of my favorite places to stay.

Tink2020- Thanks for the positive words. Your daughters are beautiful.

I am also becoming indifferent and I think it is a defense mechanism. I also think it is acceptance for me, not of the miscarriage, but of the fact that I may not have any more children. Just typing that is really hard but I am going to be 39 in a couple of months so reality is starting to set in. We have also looked at adoption but with the ages of the boys feel that the money should go to their college funds. I also can't take the time off from work to go overseas for the long period of time required to adopt from some countries.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

Momsully,

I hear you. We looked into international adoption too and the cost is $25-$30,000. It's just not an option for us.

Don't give up though just because you are 39. I had DD#2 at 40.

 

[ckret01]

Hi Everyone, I have been lurking on this thread for some time now. I posted a long while ago and had stopped but I would love to join back in again. Many of your stories are inspirational and it is nice to have support from others that are going through the same thing as I am. So I hope it is ok that I join in such a wonderful group.

I have been TTC for over a year without seeing a doctor but I am thinking maybe it is time to make an apt. I am a bit scared and also don't know where to start as far as contacting my insurance company first or call my primary DR or my Gyno Dr as I have an HMO insurance.

Just to give some background about me I am 35 yrs old and my husband is 40. I know age is a big factor in TTC the older you get but we also have some other challenges that we are not sure yet if they will be a factor in why we haven't conceived yet. My husband ten years ago had Testicular Cancer and had surgery. According to the Dr he went to said that he shouldn't have a problem conceiving since he had surgery and not radiation etc. So we have been trying naturally (without seeing a DR or meds) for over a year and nothing. So I think it is time to start the process of seeing what are options are and if there is anything wrong with me or him. I probably went into to much information here but I really don't have anyone else to talk too except my husband as we are not telling anyone else that we are TTC. Sorry if I rambled and thanks for listening.

 

[skuttle]

Momsully...we've been to AKL a few times to eat at Boma so we are thrilled to be able to stay there! We stayed at WL for DS's first trip and really enjoyed it so hopefully we'll feel the same about AKL.

Momsully and Kiki...I agree that the indifference is a defense mechanism for sure. For me it totally is. I also agree that I don't think IVF or adoption fit into our plans. If we didn't have DS, we'd probably look more into it, but since we have him I just can't justify the cost.

ckret...Welcome to the TTC thread! Our motto: "We hope your stay is a short one." You are welcome to ramble as much as you want. Trust me, we all ramble! LOL! After a year of TTC with no results, you should contact your gyn for an appt. Your gyn can run some general test (for both you and your DH) before you have consider seeing a specialist. Due to your age, they may speed things along more, though. Good luck! Please know that we are here...the joys, tears, anger, jealousy...all of it!

 

[KiKi Mouse]

ckret01,

I would make the appt. for the specialist. It may take some time to get in and it may take more time to do all the testing etc. The specialists where I live have a 6 month waiting list.
If you go see what the issues are (if any) then at least you know what you are dealing with. It could be something that requires only a little fine tuning...but at least you will know what you are dealing with.

I'm 41 turning 42 in Sept so from that perspective I will say not to waste precious time.

*hugs* and a warm welcome here. Like other posters have said...hope your stay is a short one and there is a fairy tale happy ending for us all.

 

[momsully]

Just checking in - things have been pretty quiet here.

Allison - not sure where in Louisiana you are but hopefully you are far enough inland to be safe from the storm.

Have a great weekend everyone!