New TTC Thread

[7beasley]

Ohhh Allison -- I was so excited to see your news and then as I read the rest of the thread - so heartbroken to see your latest update!! Are you full on bleeding or just spotting? Some people spot/bleed off and on during their early pregnancy. Did you take another test yet? I would call the doctor just to be safe. Having your progesterone levels checked is a good idea. I had to take progesterone injections till I was 17 weeks pregnant because my body was not making enough on its own to support the pregnancy. Get that checked!!

Hugs - thinking of you - fingers crossed that its just some light spotting!!

-Nicole

 

[Jen_in_NH]

Allison, call the doc anyways. The more info they have, the better decisions they can make about where to go next, as well as the faster they can get the insurance company to pay for stuff if you guys decide to go through with all the testing. If you have documented chemical pregnancies, it might get you through the process faster.

What an emotional rollercoaster for you

Jen

 

[skuttle]

Thanks everyone. Unfortunately, this is more than spotting.

Some of you have asked what I've done so far so I'll give a brief rundown.

Back in the fall of 2007, I was tested for insulin resistance due to my history with my last pregnancy and the fact that my mom and grandma are diabetic. It was determined I had some insulin resistance and I was put on Metformin.

My DH was then tested in the spring of this year and we found out that he has low sperm count and abnormal sperm formation. My Dr. told me that before we did anything else with me, my DH would have to follow-up with a urologist. We haven't done that yet. It took me a while to convince DH to agree to follow-up, and then I put it off because I wasn't sure if I was ready to deal with all of that. I'm going to try to get that ball rolling, maybe over Christmas break (DH is a teacher so it's hard to make these medical appts for him).

The MOST we'd be willing to try are meds and possibly IUI. Not interested in IVF since we already have one DS.

I'm not sure if having another chemical pregnancy would change my Dr's view on how to move forward or not.

I'm not calling my dr. I am not going through the multiple blood tests and the ultrasound again like last time. If I hadn't been TTC, i never would have tested so early and never would have known I was pregnant. So I figure it can't hurt to not call my dr. this time just for them to run all kinds of test to confirm what I already know...not pregnant. I took a test when I got home yesterday and the BFP was REALLY light and then another early this morning and got a BFN (Dollar tree test this time). My BFP's weren't getting darker. So I figured something wasn't right.

I will bring it up at my annual when I see her. But I really don't want to go through all of the tests they made me do last time. I just can't. I understand documenting things for insurance, but it's just not worth it for me. Either way I have to shell out over $2K before they'll pay for anything (high deductible insurance plan). Maybe I'll see if I can keep my appt on Tuesday and just change the reason for it.

Thanks for all of the support. I'm doing okay. I didn't let myself get super excited like the last time. I guess I always knew that this wasn't going to happen. Bummer than TTC beats you down so much that when you do get a BFP, you can't even be excited...one BFP (or two or three...) isn't enough...you don't even tell you DH because you're scared a few days later you'll have to say it wasn't meant to be.

 

[Jen_in_NH]

I'm sorry Allison.

 

[WDWAurora]

I'm so sorry. I'm spotting, so I'm probably out this month, too. Tomorrow was when I was going to test. I have an appointment on Friday with the RE, because she told me that if this time with femara and ovidrel didn't work, we had to have a sit down to go over everything. I set it up then, intending to use it for my first prenatal visit. Ugh. I've got to decide if DH needs to come or not. He probably should.

 

[skuttle]

I think I'm about ready to give up. I'm tired of it all...

I should just be thankful for DS and try to move along.

 

[momsully]

Allison - I am so sorry! I was really hoping this was it for you.

Aurora - Good luck at your appointment on Friday.

 

[D&DDisney]

Skuttle- If you want to vent some more feel free to let it all out here. Or, just PM me. I so wish I could do something to make you feel better. You must be sooo right now. I know I am and it didn't even happen to me.

Aurora - Good luck at the RE. I too wish you were going for a prenatal instead of a consult.

Momsully - How was your trip?

 

[TAKitty]

Goodness, I am soooo sorry for all the sadness right now. I started this weekend myself so we are back for IUI number two.

Know matter what anyone says I know that it doesn't make the pain any easier. At least for me it doesn't. I try to focus on something else, so that I am not dwelling on it.

Skuttle: My dh is taking a half pill of Clomid right now for his crappy men. We will know if it helps him get out of the infertile range in a couple of more months. My dh was not really on board with going to doctors ect. He NEVER goes to the doctor. He doesn't take pills. Ultimately seeing how very sad I am over not having a child has caused his heart to turn some. The urologist will check to see if your dh has any other medical problems going on. I have done my research and there are a ton of medical problems that start in that area. Try to get him to see that the appointment is really more for male health, not necessarily for reproductive health issues.

Every day I have to make the decision to not let these reproductive issues get the better of me. Some days are better than others.

Take care all!

 

[skuttle]

TAKitty, my DH is the same way. It took me a long time to convince him to do the initial sample. Then, we got the bad results in March, I think. It took almost two months for him to finally agree to do the follow-up. We had to wait for insurance reasons (DH got a new job), and then I was just sick of it all and not ready to jump into all of that. I'm afraid we'll find out that there's something DH could do to increase our odds, but he won't be willing to do it. I try not to be too sad around him because that also gets to DH...he can't comprehend how I can be so sad but still be happy with my life. He thinks that he and DS aren't "good enough" for me.

 

[WDWAurora]

Can you guys reassure me again...When DH was tested, they definitely would have checked his quality, etc, right? I mean, they would have noticed if there was a problem? I feel pretty sure they would have had to, but I just need to hear it.

 

[skuttle]

Courtney, when we received DH's results, they went through and told us how the sperm did in a variety of categories. Did y'all ever get your DH's results? If someone just told you everything was fine, I'm sure that means everything (count, quality, etc.). If you're unsure, you can always have your DH request a copy of the test results and look for yourself.

 

[WDWAurora]

They called him and told him everything was fine (which, of course, made him impossible to live with). That's literally all I got out of him. I figure we'll talk about that on Friday, but it's good to get some reassurance that, at least on his end, things are fine. I did tell him today that he should come (and he's already asked off) because I was afraid they wouldn't talk about his results without him there. Also, I'm afraid I'll forget stuff, or freak, or whatever. I felt like he was having to hold me together (if you've read twilight, I felt like Bella in the second book) the other night. I'm not sure I'd make it through the appointment alone and be able to get myself home.

In just over a week, I'll be at the hospital because my second sister-in-law is delivering her 3rd child. I thought for sure before the first one's shower, we'd be pregnant. Then, I thought before her shower. That's about when the second one told us. I thought I'd be pregnant before her shower, then before her delivery, and none of that has happened. If one of them is pregnant again before we are, I don't know how I'll make it. I have fears about the first one already, but I think I'm just paranoid. She's suffering from untreated post-partum (because she's afraid of getting addicted to meds), so that scares me for multiple reasons.

Wow, just spilled a bunch of random crap...

 

[skuttle]

When my doctor called with DH's test results, she couldn't talk to me. She had to talk to DH. So I'm not even sure I got the whole story! LOL! They did tell me that whenever I need the results, to just have him sign a note giving them permission to give them to me and they will. I'll be doing that soon.

Now you know that random crap is what this thread is all about!! I have read Twilight (that was my hurricane Gustav reading material) so I understand what you mean.

 

[TAKitty]

Can you guys reassure me again...When DH was tested, they definitely would have checked his quality, etc, right? I mean, they would have noticed if there was a problem? I feel pretty sure they would have had to, but I just need to hear it.

If they said it was fine, it was fine! . I actually got the call for my Dh's numbers and it was not at all fine and they referred him to a urologist.

 

[TAKitty]

TAKitty, my DH is the same way. It took me a long time to convince him to do the initial sample. Then, we got the bad results in March, I think. It took almost two months for him to finally agree to do the follow-up. We had to wait for insurance reasons (DH got a new job), and then I was just sick of it all and not ready to jump into all of that. I'm afraid we'll find out that there's something DH could do to increase our odds, but he won't be willing to do it. I try not to be too sad around him because that also gets to DH...he can't comprehend how I can be so sad but still be happy with my life. He thinks that he and DS aren't "good enough" for me.

My Dh won't even do the sample on his own--he is that against it! . Have you tried to really think about why you want another child and why DH and DS are not enough? I say that because you may be better able to answer that question for your husband if you can put to words for him how important it is for you to have another child. I am not implying that they should enough, I am not encouraging you to put to words your feelings.

My husband feels like he should be enough for me and will even say that he married me for me. However, he is a father of two and I married him with the expectation that we would have a child together since I don't have any children. Although he really would like it if he was all I needed/wanted, he knows that the loss I feel is too much for me and he wants me to experience motherhood. He won't do IVF so it is either IUI or I will remain childless. It has been a very difficult pill to swallow.

Best of luck!

 

[skuttle]

I am so pathetic.

I decided to try to make an appt for my overdue annual so that i can discuss this last chemical pregnancy. I was told I could see a NP or wait until January to see my doctor. So I tell the appt girl about the chemical pregnancy so she transfers me to the nurse to see if they can fit me in earlier So I'm leaving a message for the nurse, explaining what just happened, and I start to cry. So I am crying on the message. How pathetic am I? Last time I saw my dr, I couldn't talk about all of the TTC stuff without crying and looks like I'll be the same way again. It's SO embarrassing. Ugh. I feel like such a loser, I should be able to at least hold it together while on the phone leaving a message!!

So, we'll see what happens. Hopefully they can see me before January. If not, I'm still going to try to get DH into the urologist during Christmas break. I need some sort of closure...whether it's "sorry, not going to happen without IUI, IVF, etc" or "let's try this". Just trying to wait it out each month is killing me, I realize. Maybe my Dr. will be willing to trying other tests on me due to the second chemical pregnancy even though my DH hasn't been seen yet. Otherwise, I guess we'll just have to wait.

 

[mickeyboat]

Allison.

Denae

 

[ChrizJen]

Allison,

Don't feel bad because you were crying while leaving the message. I can't count the number of times I sat in the office sobbing over yet another failed IUI. It was like my RE became my monthly therapist too.

There are times when you need to be strong, and then there are times when you just need to let it all out. I can't think of one good reason you should be strong right now (except for your DS, and I'm sure you're Super Mom when it comes to him! ).

I STILL get a little bit of that sad, lump in the pit of the stomach feeling when my AF comes. Just my monthly reminder that I'm not a mommy yet. So if you need to cry, by all means CRY!! That's sometimes the only thing that gets me through.

More to you, and try to have a fun weekend!!

 

[skuttle]

Well, they must have felt sorry for me. Instead of having a prenatal visit on Tuesday, I'll still be going in but to have my annual and bloodwork done after the chemical pregnancy. I cried the whole way home. I never really let myself cry after I realized this pregnancy wasn't going to happen, so I think I really needed that. I forgot to ask what the signed note from my DH needs to say so that I can get a copy of his results (I was concentrating too hard on not crying while talking to the nurse!). Anyone have any ideas? She asked if I was still on the Metformin...I quit that over the summer when I decided I was "over" TTC. I hope I don't get fussed at for that. And I hope I don't get fussed since my DH hasn't had his follow-up yet. Hopefully she understands that I was just fed up with it all and needed a break from it all. I'm going to try not to think about it until 1:30 on Tuesday so that I can enjoy my weekend. God help me if someone in the group of girls going to the concert is pregnant.