New TTC Thread

[TinkerbellMama]

No, no, no - don't leave. This is a thread for everyone! Heck, I am not even TTC! I might jump off a bridge if I found myself PG at this point. I did have infertility issues and then an oops! pregnancy, along with several losses. You will find our experiences here run the gammit from easy conception, to years of trying. You will find lots of support either way, so, please stay! I am sure you will have lots to offer, too.

Lots and lots of luck and baby dust to you TM! My recommendation for you is to start charting your temperature to find out how regular your cycles are, and to pinpoint when (and if) you are ovulating. Then once you really start TTC, you will know when to BD (baby dance), and if you aren't having normal cycles, you will have some information to provide to your doctor. Charting stresses some people out, so don't worry if it is something you can't do.

Denae

Thanks for the clarification. I wouldn't want to be the cause of anyone's sadness. I can't imagine how hard that would be, to desperately want a child and find out everyone around you is having one (especially family, when you really have no choice but to be happy for them, see the baby, etc.).

As for the charting, I was wondering how many months we should try without it before starting...or should we start from the beginning?? Never having TTC before, I am not sure if we will need it, but I figure I'm too old to waste too much time. We will have about a 10 month window during which the timing would be PERFECT to have another baby. I know this might sound crazy, but I am really hoping we won't have a November/December baby as our holiday season is already jam-packed with birthdays and celebrations and other events (DS is a Nov. baby, too). Of course, I would take a healthy baby in Nov./Dec. over not having one at all, but still...I would like to control the timing just a tiny smidge, if I can. Does that sound crazy??? (Be honest; I really want to know!)

 

[helenabear]

Denae said exactly what I was going to. I believe the OP of the original thread had no fertility issues. I didn't have any really, but took a long time to get pregnant. So we're from all over the place. I still hang out here because I have had such great support here from many others! I thought I would be back here TTC, but after my delivery, we are staying with one by our own means. If we have 2 we'll adopt the 2nd.

Kelly, I am glad that it turns out the IUI wasn't a total waste. Good luck with everything else. A friend of mine who is TTC and I joke "if we knew then what we knew now we wouldn't have been so paranoid about getting pregnant back then" Totally sick joke sometimes.

Allison, I am glad that your DH was able to send in a sample. Have you heard from them yet? Not that I want them to find something wrong, I just want them to find something to help you with

Jen, my heart goes out to you as well I really hated going through some of the things I did because it made my issues so "final" Though hopefully the RE will help you get pregnant quickly!

 

[skuttle]

Oh TinkerbellMama, please don't be scared off!! My DS wasn't planned and I had a super easy pregnancy with him. We've been TTC for #2 for almost two years now. I find great support on this thread. Often, when I read about others struggling to get pregnant with their first, I feel guilty for being on here ranting about not being able to get pregnant with #2. I often feel like I should just shut my mouth and be thankful for what I have. No one has EVER been mean or ugly to me just because I already have one child. We are all very supportive of each other, no matter your history.

Well, I just got a call from the nurse asking for DH's contact info for the Dr to call him with the results. So we should hear something soon. I am soooo nervous!!

 

[skuttle]

Well, the news isn't good. DH talked to the Dr, not me, so I'm getting this from him so if it doesn't make sense, please forgive me. So DH does not have enough sperm, and a lot of the sperm he does have is "defective". Dr suggested that he see a urologist to see if anything is wrong.

DH was not too happy about doing the sample, so I'm not sure if he'll go to the Urologist or not. I asked if he would go and he said he'll think about it. He knows how I feel, so I don't want to bug him.

I'm trying my best to hold it together, to not cry, but I'm dying inside. DH already felt like I wasn't happy with him and DS since I always cried and was so sad that I couldn't get pregnant with another baby. So I"m sure he feels awful that the problem appears to be him. So I don't want to be sad in front of him. He can't stand going to doctors, so I"m not sure if he'll go to the urologist or not. He was always "whatever happens happens" when it came to TTC. He wants another child, but if we don't have another he's fine with that too. He's never been interested in fertility treatments since we already have DS. Plus I think a huge part of him keeps thinking, I got pregnant once so there's no problem.

I plan on calling my doctor tomorrow to find out what, if anything, I can do. I'm thinking probably not much, but I want to call and find out. I figure that way I can let DH know that hey, there's nothing more I can do.

So it looks like my TTC journey has just taken a turn for the scenic route.

I don't think I can do the baptism this weekend after receiving this news.

 

[GypsySue]

Allison, I am sorry the news was so upsetting. I don't know much about issues with the boys, but I hope there is something that can be done. Don't they regenerate every 3 mos? Maybe there is something he can do to make them more numerous? Don't give up hope At least now you know what the problem is. I think that is better than the uncertainty.

 

[skuttle]

Thanks Beth. I broke down in front of DH earlier, telling him that I know he won't go to the urologist so this is probably it. He said that he's thinking about it so quit buggining him. So I take that as a good sign. I'm sure this all needs to sink in for him, too. I'm sure he feels bad that he's the problem. So I plan on laying off of him for a few days, talk to my doctor to find out if there's anything else we can do on my end. I would love to talk to my dr about DH's situation, but I don't know how much she'd be able to tell to just me, without DH being there.

Part of me is glad to have some sort of explanation, but at the same time I'm sad because I know DH is much more hesitant re all of this fertility stuff than I am. If it was me, I would have an appt with the urologist already and I never would have even thought twice about making the appt. DH doesn't work that way.

I guess I can quit the temping in the mornings since it looks like my chances are now slim. I wonder what we did right to get pregnant with DS?!?

 

[mickeyboat]

Oh Allison, I am so sorry to hear this news. I think it is a lot for your DH to digest, and really probably an emotional blow for him as well. It will take some time for him to come to terms with it, and to decide what he might be willing to do. I know it will be hard to seem supportive without bugging him.

Please encourage him to at least talk to the urologist. He won't know what his options are unless he asks. It might also be worth a call to your doctor to discuss what might be done from the standpoint of infertility treatments as well (think IUI with a sample that is somehow "fixed").

Denae

 

[CheshireVal]

Allison, I'm sorry about the news. At least it must be a small comfort to get some sort of answer about what the problem is. I do hope he decides to consult with the urologist.

While I'm here, I have a question for you guys: what do you do about OTC meds while you're TTC? I'm totally wrecked right now from the pollen outside and am hoping Claritin will help. (I'm already having to take Sudafed).

I don't want to sit here and suffer just on the off chance I'll get pregnant this month, but I don't want to take a stupid risk either.

I have decided to just go ahead and make a doctor appointment for next month if I don't have any news by then. After charting for a few months, I've figured out we probably weren't BD on the right days for most of the past year. But since it's been 13 months of trying, I guess I should consult someone. I'm just sort of afraid to.

 

[skuttle]

Just talked to the nurse at my Dr's office and was told that there's nothing more for me to do until DH sees a urologist. She said to encourage DH to see the urologist and told me to keep taking the Metformin for now. I'm due for an annual at the end of the summer, so I guess I'll go ahead and schedule that now since it doesn't seem like there's much more for me to do now.

I'm giving DH a week or so and then I'll let him know that I spoke to my Dr and was told that there's nothing left for me to do, that the ball is in his court. Denae, you are right, I would really like for DH to go and just see what may be the problem. It may be a simple fix. Who knows.

ChesireVal, it is nice to have some sort of answer, but it's the worst one I could think of. I wish there was no problem with DH because I'm all for getting tested and figuring out what is wrong and what our options may be. DH isn't that into it. I don't want to bug him and push him because I think he will go to the urologist when he's ready. Afterall, he didn't give me a flat out "NO".

I know when I was pregnant, I was given a list of meds OK for pregnancy. THe only one I remember is tylenol! Maybe do a search to see if you can find something online? I honestly wouldn't worry too much about it, though. So many people don't even know they are pregnant before their period is late and I'm sure many of those have done things on the "bad" list and had healthy babies.

 

[helenabear]

Allison, I am so sorry. I think as hard as it is, I would just leave him alone about this for at least a month. Sometimes it is harder for guys to want to deal with things since it deals with "manlihood" At least you know where some of the issues may lie. I know that some have had that one in a million shot with husband issues, but not lucky since. Hopefully after some time of letting it all process, he will understand that maybe a urologist would be a good thing to talk to. Hang in there

Val, Claritin is safe for pregnancy so I wouldn't worry about it. I was a benadryl person (not as safe during pregnancy) so I switched to zyrtec and then claritin. Neither worked as well, but it was better than nothing. So don't worry about taking that or Sudafed while TTC or pregnant.

 

[skuttle]

Thanks everyone for the support. Elaine, I don't know that I can wait a month!! I'll try my best for two weeks. I know "man issues" are tough for the guys, even if DH tries to blow it off and say it's not a big deal...it's a big deal. I keep looking at my DS, thinking that he may be my miracle child and I didn't even know it! Until DH says he won't go to the urologist, I still don't feel like I am done with this TTC journey yet. I'm trying to start preparing myself for the end, though. Even if DH agrees to go to the urologist, unless they say "all's well, the other test was a mistake", I doubt he'd be willing to undergo any type of procedure or take any type of meds. So I'm not even sure what good a urologist would do.

I'm still not sure what to do about the baptism on Sunday. I was prepared to go before we received the bad news on Tuesday. That was such a blow, I just don't know.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

Lots and lots of luck and baby dust to you TM! My recommendation for you is to start charting your temperature to find out how regular your cycles are, and to pinpoint when (and if) you are ovulating. Then once you really start TTC, you will know when to BD (baby dance), and if you aren't having normal cycles, you will have some information to provide to your doctor. Charting stresses some people out, so don't worry if it is something you can't do.
Denae

I agree...don't leave!
I agree on the charting thing. My doctor told me not to because I would get stressed out..and I was...but I had also just suffered a m/c and learning to cope with that. I charted after my d&c and I am glad because it showed I ovulated. Now I am charting my second cycle post m/c and hoping to catch an egg this month. It can make you crazy and stressed to do it but I found it helps to know what my body is doing. Plus if there are issues later you already have those charts to show a fertility doctor.

I found fertility friend to be the best site.

Good luck to you and hope you have a BFP soon!!!

 

[D&DDisney]

Skuttle - So sorry to hear your news. But don't give up hope yet. I was given bad news too. The doctor visit right before my son was conceived, told me I might be going through early menapause and that I probably had a better chance of winning the lottery than having the IUI work this time. Maybe it was the challenge of it all, but that was the 1 and only time that it DID work!!! (I should have bought a lottery ticket too )
Secondly, IUIs can help those poor swimmers. The washing technique will sort out the strong swimmers and has a way of energizing the rest.
You just can't give up! There's still that chance that it could happen naturally like your DS.

 

[CheshireVal]

I agree...don't leave!
I agree on the charting thing. My doctor told me not to because I would get stressed out..and I was...but I had also just suffered a m/c and learning to cope with that. I charted after my d&c and I am glad because it showed I ovulated. Now I am charting my second cycle post m/c and hoping to catch an egg this month. It can make you crazy and stressed to do it but I found it helps to know what my body is doing. Plus if there are issues later you already have those charts to show a fertility doctor.

I found fertility friend to be the best site.

Good luck to you and hope you have a BFP soon!!!

I actually stopped charting this month. I did it for only three months but the results were pretty consistent, so I'm pretty sure I'm ovulating and that it's happening CD 19-21 each month. (I used to think it was much earlier before I started the charts!)

But... I was stressing about it because it's so rigid. If I woke up at 4am and had to go to the bathroom, I couldn't take my temp when I got up at 6. On weekends I had to set my alarm for 6am just to temp.... I ended up with so many blank days on my chart last month that I decided it just wasn't worth it. I might try again, though. Who knows?

 

[helenabear]

Allison, I am not a patient person either I say try for a month and if you can't go for the 2 weeks! I totally understand what you are saying about "what's the point" anyway. I am not sure what Luis would have been willing to do to try to have a child. We both were very minimalistic. Hopefully the urologist can do more thurough testing at least. I think you have a great outlook though with your miracle baby if that is the case. I am sure no matter what, it will make your son feel even more special (if that is possible).

Good luck in general though, I am dealing with my own "man issue" with my husband. He drags his feet and I still don't have a new car. If I bring it up, he says I am nagging. I might have found a loophole though. We are going to WDW and will have to take a stroller. It may not fit in either of our cars with two suitcases and a pack n play. My hope is that it *won't* fit so we can get me my car. We will need it for travel in May anyway (road trip with my dad to see my brother graduate). It's hard dealing with stubborn guys. Not the same as what you are going through but I swear the mentality is the same!

I agree that charting can be a great thing! I wasn't lucky enough to deal with it though. My doctor didn't want me to since she is super cool and will do all the blood tests immediately if you want (she does say to give 6 months on your own at least if you can wait it). Not all doctors are as nice as mine though. It really can tell a lot about your cycle. But you just posted as I was and I see you were regular. I was as well when I tried so I would ask your doctor if they think it is worth it or not, and to see what their thoughts on it are. All are different.
There are also saliva tests that are interesting. My friend had one and it was neat to see it all and how it worked. It matched up well with her charting and was less stressful than the OPKs she tried.

 

[Jen_in_NH]

Allison - my DHs first sample came out with a low count, and some other funky stuff. His second was completely normal. The doc didn't send him to urology, he just ran another sample.

So, I scheduled the RE for 4/21. We'll see how that goes. Keep your fingers crossed!

Jen

 

[D&DDisney]

Jen -

fingers crossed.

 

[skuttle]

D&DDisney, thanks for the pep talk! I'm not sure how sperm work...do they get worse with age/health? Or did DH have the same sperm issues back in 2002 when I got pregnant with DS? I'm not giving up yet, I'm just not getting my hopes up each month anymore since I think we probably need some sort of medical help with this!

Thanks, Elaine. I haven't brought it up again to DH, so I think I'm doing good. I know DH would have been a lot more willing to try other things if we were trying for our first. But since we already have DS, he's really not up for any of that stuff. I've been talking to someone at work about this most recent development and she told me to give it time, that DH knows what it means to me, and there's no way of knowing what he will or will not do now that we are faced with this. She made a good point, it's easy to say you won't do this or that when you think everything is fine. But finding out that everything is NOT find may change that outlook. So we'll see. So far I've managed to be respectful of his decision and not get angry, so hopefully I can continue to do that regardless of his final decision.

Jen, thanks for that info. At first I was thinking "what's the point" of going to the urologist if DH won't do any meds or procedures. But you bring up a good point...that was just one sample that he did at home that I had to transport over there. At least if he goes to the urologist, we could get another sample done, hopefully in a better environment, and maybe our results would be different. Afterall, I did get pregnant with DS and did have that chemical pregnancy a year ago (Not sure if bad sperm caused me to lose that one or not).

I'm trying to stay as positive as I can. But I'm also trying to be realistic so in the back of my mind I've been thinking about what I'm going to do with the guest bedroom and all of that baby furniture/baby gear stored in there.

 

[skuttle]

Hey everyone! We have a busy weekend ahead of us, but I wanted to share this story.

Yesterday, we were on our way home from the mall and we started talking about my friend that recently sold her house in the neighborhood where we used to rent a house before we bought this house. We were talking about that neighborhood, which is an area we love but the affordable houses are really old, need a lot of work, and are only 2 bedrooms. DH mentioned that we need three bedrooms, but then said, "Well, with the way things have been going, maybe not." But then I jumped in said, "yes, but you are still 'thinking about' it right? You didn't say 'No.' You said you'd think about it."

And his response was, "Yeah, I know. I have to work up the courage to go because you know I don't like people touching me." So I'm SO excited because I think he WANTS to go, he just, understandably, feels uncomfortable by the idea. I was SO happy to hear that! DH has some quirks when it comes to people. My DH can't stand people actually. LOL! He can't stand large unorganized crowds (He loves WDW though so go figure), and he can't stand people other than immediate family touching him. When any of his students try to hug him or tap him on the shoulder or anything like that, he freaks out. Also, in a group, he has to be the last one and no one can walk behind him. So I think DH will eventually go to the urologist, but I'm just not sure exactly when!

 

[D&DDisney]

That's a good sign I know things will start looking up for you now!