New Parents: I need a list!

[kristilew]

So I'm talking with db today...he and the wife are expecting first child early 09. I'm saying how easy Christmas shopping for them will be this year, when he says No, No, wife is superstitious and wants NO baby gifts before the baby is born.

I responded, only slightly judgementally, does she expect you to go out and spend 2 grand in an hour the day you bring baby home from the hospital? What about all the stuff you actually need at home that you won't have time to get at first? (Like the fifty onesies they can wet through in a day?)

To which he asked, quite seriously, what do you need? And of course, my baby is 11 now so I can't remember anything other than it was war those first few weeks.

I'm sure baby stuff has changed in the past decade. What are the items you new parents would say are must-haves for the first week or month at home? And how many of each?

TIA!

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I'd save things for the baby for the baby shower.... Especially if their wish/superstition is not to receive anything...
Besides...how is it a xmas gift for them if its really for the upcoming baby?
My baby was born in Feb...and I did receive two gifts at xmas...addressed to 'baby'.. but the rest should be at the shower only....IMO

But....just to answer your question..
receiving blankets was what I needed most...

 

[FormrCastMbr]

Although I haven't had a baby in years, I too am expecting in 09. I recently received a booklet from babies r us that had all the essentials listed and the amounts. Of course its too much to list but I will see if I can find a list on line.

 

[FormrCastMbr]

Here's a list:

http://www.toysrus.com/shop/index.jsp?categoryId=2964381

 

[KyraS]

1. Bottles
2. Diapers
3. Wipes
4. Powder
5. Clothes (Especially sleepers and onesies)
6. Blankets
7. Baby Lotion, Baby Bath, Baby Shampoo
8. Formula
9. Baby Tylenol Infant Drops

Those are off the top of my head.

 

[kristilew]

I'd save things for the baby for the baby shower.... Especially if their wish/superstition is not to receive anything...
Besides...how is it a xmas gift for them if its really for the upcoming baby?
My baby was born in Feb...and I did receive two gifts at xmas...addressed to 'baby'.. but the rest should be at the shower only....IMO

But....just to answer your question..
receiving blankets was what I needed most...

It's not a holiday issue, she says no shower, no acknowledging that the baby is coming at all.

 

[kristilew]

Here's a list:

http://www.toysrus.com/shop/index.jsp?categoryId=2964381

Thanks!

 

[raysnkaysmom]

It's not a holiday issue, she says no shower, no acknowledging that the baby is coming at all.

wow...that is a rough one... Do you know if she's ever had a tragedy in the past that makes her feel this way? ie..miscarriage...stillborn in family etc?

Maybe...as the baby gets closer and its at a healthy age to be born if something happened...you can ask/plead with her if she'd allow YOU to throw her a baby shower?? Maybe as it gets closer she'll be more excited for the idea
I'm due in April of next year (yes...just had a baby Feb of THIS year...lol) but I'm so worried (oddly) that something will go wrong that Im afraid to buy anything right now....and I hadn't felt that way in previous pregnancies..

 

[HelenePA]

Buy her only what she "needs" for the first few weeks of the baby's life then have a meet the baby shower. They'll need someplace for the baby to sleep, either a crib, co-sleeper, pack and play or a bassinet NOT all 4!!) a car seat, stroller, and some clothes everything else can be bought later... I can understand some of her superstition... I bought things for a new baby the found out I was having a miscarriage, this time around I didn't buy ANYTHING until I was well into my 7th-8th month of pregnancy even then I just kept thinking what if...

 

[kristilew]

As far as I know it's a first pregnancy. THey've only been married a year. Don't know about before my brother. She has a lot of control issues (don't we all?) and she has been having some adjustment problems with not being in control of her body right now. Maybe she's just trying to assert control where she can - over everyone else's actions.

I just smile and don't say anything about still not having control over my life 11 years post partum

 

[The Mystery Machine]

It's not a holiday issue, she says no shower, no acknowledging that the baby is coming at all.

So she wants to wait...just respect her wishes then. Doesn't matter the reason.

I think it would be more fun to have a shower WITH the baby...but that is me.

Go with the flow is my motto these days.

 

[MM27]

Is the mother to be Jewish? In Jewish tradition, baby showers are taboo. Not forbidden, but custom has been not to receive gifts before the child is born. They were thought to draw the attention of dark spirits/the evil eye, marking the child for disaster.

 

[HappyDznyCamper]

Must haves for the first week or 2 would be

Car Seat(can't leave the hospital w/o and they need to make sure it fits their car)
Diapers/wipes
A place for baby to sleep
Sleepers and a few weather appropriate outfits
Bottles and formula if not breasfeeding
MAYBE blankets( I say maybe because I have been to many inservice classes as a preschool teacher that say a baby should wear a warm sleeper and use no blankets because blankets MAY contribute to SIDS).

I think everything else can wait, but not long

 

[Mickey Fliers]

Yep, all you really NEED to bring baby home is:

a) Carseat
b) Diapers & Wipes
c) a few infant sleepers/gowns
d) Bottles & formula if not breast feeding

 

[beckmrk04]

It's not a holiday issue, she says no shower, no acknowledging that the baby is coming at all.

My best friend got a ton of stuff for her son last Christmas- she was only 6 months along. Keegan was still born 3 days after Christmas.

So, while I know you are excited, please respect the wishes of the mom-to-be and recognize she is probably very worried about "jinxing" things.

If you must buy things, and I know as a grandparent, you must - buy them the basics and just don't tell them.

 

[golfgal]

Can't you buy what you want, keep it at your house and then bring it over after the baby is born? That is what I would do.

Honestly, all they "need" is a car seat and something to keep the baby warm, clothing or some blankets. If she isn't nursing, some bottles but even then you usually get one in your take home bag from the hospital and technically you could get buy with one bottle.

We got enough clothing for DS16 when he was born to last him a year. I was kind of bummed because he didn't NEED any clothes and I wanted to buy him some

 

[RUDisney]

I agree with golfgal. Buy what you want and hold it until the baby is born.

OTOH, my Mom had planned to buy everything for my youngest sister after Christmas so she'd get through the holiday first. My sister had other plans and was born on Christmas Eve. So, that morning, I had to run out and buy everything that my parents would need while they were in the hospital. Primarily because we still thought she'd be a natural birth and not a section at that point and that my Mom would be released on 12/26.

Again, Dsis had other ideas and was born by section at 8:00 that night, so we had time to shop after Christmas before my Mom came home. The best part of meeting my new sister was walking into my Mom's room around midnight (Christmas Day) with my DH (BF at that time), BFF and her fiance. The nurse was taking my sister out and I asked if I could hold her first. The nurse told me only siblings and parents could hold the baby. I told her that I was a sibling. She looked at my mother, shocked. Mom nodded and the nurse handed me my sister. I was 24 then and my Dsis was my parents 25th anniversary surprise.

 

[DMickey28]

If she really doesn't want anything until after the baby is born I would make up a basket ready to go to the house when the baby is born so they have the must have's.

*Car seat
*1 pack of Newborn diapers
*1 pack of size one diapers
*tube of desitin or other diaper cream
*small bottle of alcohol and q-tips for cleaning the cord
*baby washcloth for sponge baths
*some sort of baby lotion because often their skin peels at first for a while. my ped like the johnson and johnson all natural in a green tube.
*paci
*cloth diapers or burp clothes for burping and also under the baby when they are learning to nurse.
*boppy for help supporting the baby during nursing
*newborn sized pj's and 0-3 sized onsies
*if they are going to be babywearing then some sort of carrier for the baby otherwise something to be able to put the baby down in, we prefered a bouncer from the first day.
*recieving blanket to swaddle the baby (I loved the gerber waffle type ones the best) I also use it to cover the baby when in the bouncer for warmth.

I'll come back if I think of more!!!

 

[kristilew]

Thanks for all the input. I think I did not word my initial request well.

SIL has her reasons, and I think a pp might have hit it on the head as SIL is Jewish. I had never known that tradition. I am not trying to change her mind- she's a grown woman and it's her pregnancy, not mine.

It's just that DB asked me for a list of what's needed and I honestly can't remember. I do know that we went through a lot of receiving blankets and diapers, and that we had some stuff we never used. I was interested in what current new parents find are the very basic must-haves for the early days.

On the other hand, I've been most appreciative of the other advice. I can get so caught up in being the bossy big sis that it never hurts to be reminded to back off

 

[lilybrooke14]

You've gotten good lists, one of my favorites were those little gowns with the fold over hands. Carter's and Gerber both make them. They were great for diaper changes since they didn't have snaps.

Also, I don't know what we would have done without our swing. It was a total lifesaver! We had one of the cradle type that goes side to side and front to back. They make them now that plug into the wall. They're a little more up front, but it would have saved me a FORTUNE in the long run.