Fil,
Believe me, I dont usually make a habit of writing letters, and I know you wont get this till you get back from camping, but I really should explain whats going on. Sorry if my text on Thursday freaked you out, my mum was being too dramatic about it. I mean, Ive had a long talk with my mum about it all. This is what happened.
Basically, my mum found out about how much money youd put on my phone this month (to be honest Im just a retard and she finds out these things somehow). And she found out about how much Id already spent on texting you in the past three weeks. She says she understands the situation and stuff, but she thinks its too much. I mean she does have a point, but I really dont agree with what shes done.
Anyway, she has confiscated my phone. I have no idea when Im getting it back but, of course, Ill be trying to persuade her. She says shes still ok with me phoning you, so Ill probably phone you on the Sunday night to explain properly.
To be honest, Im totally gutted that this is happening. I dont know how Im going to cope with not texting you. And Im going to miss our nice texting too. But yeah, me and my mum had a long chat. Its funny because we went from talking about money to it being about sex. It was really rather strange. I gave in listening to her at the beginning when she was giving me a lecture on the value of money. She thinks texting is pointless. If Im honest with you, as much as I get what she means, I think shes over-reacting a bit. I dont get how this affecting her.
I feel totally stupid, cause its my fault this all happened. And I feel rather hopeless now, because I cant text you. And itll mean that Im going to miss you a lot more than I do already. But most of all I feel sort of scared. Well, worried more than anything. Im worried that if were not texting then youll sort of, I dont know, think us going out and that is sort of pointless. Youll have to tell me what you think when I phone you, ok? God I sound really stupid, but you know what I mean. Dont worry; I wont bite your head off about it or anything. Just tell me what ever you want, yeah?
So yeah, I have no mobile at the moment. I guess I might get it back just before I come to Middlesbrough. But Im not going to let this affect anything. It wont make a difference to anything. Well, not for me anyways.
And I miss you loads babe, more than anything else. I cant wait to see you in August, of course, just the thought of being with you and spending time with you. There are so many feelings I have for you and just not enough ways of expressing it in words. Its like, for me, life isnt anything special unless Im talking to you or unless Im with you. Which is why I would do anything I can for you. You know that. And its the reason Im trying to sort this out.
I really hate how my mum is being about this. It makes everything so much more difficult. But it doesnt change how I feel, babe. Ill try to phone you whenever I can. Im really sorry, honey, about all of it. Its all really stupid.
I love you,
Sian x x