Never Loan Money to Friends or Family

[hereyago]

As long as the credit goes to the OP. I think most Airlines are now making the credit in the persons name on the ticket. They may make an exception since the OP paid with her CC.

If the airline will credit the OP in $ or points, then I say go for it. I don't think her friend will get any notification that it is cancelled unless she tells her. It will be only a day away from the flight when she finds out and does the online check in. Maybe I'm mean but that would be

I guess I am mean to because that is freaking hilarious and something I would do, if someone jerked me around.

 

[a1tinkfans]

hope you DO get your $$ back, sadly she disrespects you...Id not only not ask again, Id probably ignore her, she knows why..........

 

[disneybound31]

What did the card with no check say?

 

[squirrel]

I guess I am mean to because that is freaking hilarious and something I would do, if someone jerked me around.

You could even go one step farther and tell her you are doing her online check in for her so you can sit beside her!

 

[hereyago]

You could even go one step farther and tell her you are doing her online check in for her so you can sit beside her!

I almost spit out my water on that one! lol!


Or taken from the movie Bridesmaids: let the mooch sit in coach and OP get an ticket upgrade to 1st class!

 

[hereyago]

What did the card with no check say?

Probably along the lines of You are a great friend,I value a friendship, blah blah blah because I suckered you into giving me a plane ticket.

OP: you rock because you were trying to be a good friend and I am sorry she doesn't value or respect you.

 

[arihillfarm]

As long as the credit goes to the OP. I think most Airlines are now making the credit in the persons name on the ticket. They may make an exception since the OP paid with her CC.

If the airline will credit the OP in $ or points, then I say go for it. I don't think her friend will get any notification that it is cancelled unless she tells her. It will be only a day away from the flight when she finds out and does the online check in. Maybe I'm mean but that would be

If it's an e-ticket and the OP cancels her flight and doesn't go, then the "friend" won't have the credit card used for payment to show the airline for positive ID, will she?

-Astrid

 

[MarriedToAPrince]

Honestly she isn't a friend if she won't pay you back. I would personally send her a certified letter and tell her that since she doesn't respect your friendship enough to pay you back, that you are no longer friends, she has until such and such date to pay you back or you take her to small claims court. $650 is a lot of money!

 

[Pesky]

I think your DH's suggestion is a good one. And you are nice about the card. I would've have called her with a panicked "Oh, no -- the card doesn't have your check! Be sure to put a stop on the one you sent as it appears it was stolen and let me know the minute you mail the replacement one so I can watch for it to make sure it doesn't get lifted again." But I'm mean like that.

And don't feel too bad. We all have stories about friends and/or family who we've loaned money to. In college, my then BFF kept mooching with sob stories about rent and such. Long story short, I finally added up all the money she'd mooched from me and we were into the very low 4 figures -- while I was a working college student from a very middle class family! Her Christmas present one year was debt forgiveness. Needless to say, we are NOT BFFs any longer and I refused to keep up funding her downward spiral.

 

[angwill]

Mark it up as you did something nice for her but you will never make that mistake again. Then you can either make her uncomfortable anytime you see her by asking if she has a few bucks to pay you back or you can drop it.

I think we have all loaned money that we did not get back at some point in our lives. I bought my SIL/maid of honors dress for my wedding because she said she didn't have the money at the time. I still have not gotten that money back 17 years later plus they stiffed us on a gift too. I soon learned not to lend money to any of my IL's and that is the way it's been ever since. They cry about money problems and we just change the subject. Well DH tells them flat out it is not his problem. Screw me once shame on you screw me twice shame on me.

 

[beansmom]

If it's an e-ticket and the OP cancels her flight and doesn't go, then the "friend" won't have the credit card used for payment to show the airline for positive ID, will she?

um, you don't need the credit card...i purchase tickets for my family members all the time and they don't need my card to pick them up.

I stand by what I said...NEVER lend money you expect to see again. You have to decide how much that person's friendship is worth and lend accordingly.

I think the OP is sorta stuck here. I don't think the airline will issue the credit to anyone but the original ticket purchaser (ie, the moocher) and that OP is just stuck for the $$. Sucks...I will be interested to see how this all turns out.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

Well, whether she pays up or not, I will NOT try a claw back on the tickets. She's more a sister to my DH than a BFF. You don't do things like that to family.

We'll work it out in the end. I just needed a vent.

But Dave Ramsey is totally right about lending money to family or friends. You either just give it or you don't or there will be hurt feelings.

 

[hereyago]

She's more a sister to my DH than a BFF. You don't do things like that to family.

.

I have learned a long time ago that bio family or friends that are like family DO NOT have a carte blanche to treat you with disrespect and have it still be all right because it's "family".lol.

She has no problem with taking your money and not paying it back, so that is not "family" like either or maybe she doesn't consider you the family like you consider her.

I hope it works out. But keep this experience in the back of your mind the next time she wants you to help her out.

 

[Princesca]

OP, I feel for you...

I just got back from a trip with my family, and my DSis called and asked me to buy something for my niece on our way out of a park. She said she'd pay me back. That was our first day in the parks, I believe, so April 21 or so. Here we are, having spent a whole week together, and no money from her. My mother has even reminded her countless times, and we've seen each other since we got back, but she hasn't seen fit to remember.

It's not that I'm desperate for the money... I can do without $20. It's the principle. I have many flaws (including, probably, being too judgmental) but I am not the type to borrow money from friends, and if for some reason I did, I would not rest until it was repaid. It's just so irritating!

Dave Ramsey is right, and I've learned my lesson (though I should have before now). If you aren't mentally prepared to make that loan a gift, then you shouldn't give it. I can tell you I will not ever be fronting her cash again.

 

[LJSquishy]

I'm so sorry you're even having to vent about this. Honestly, what a horrible friend. I know Dave Ramsey stresses not to lend money to family or friends unless you don't expect to get it back, but really, if someone that close to you says they will pay you back, and they don't...they are not a good friend or good person. As you said, if she would just let you know that she can't pay you back right now for whatever reason, that is all you want to know and you will understand and work with her. Gosh, if she would just tell you she can only pay you $50/mo or something, at least it's something. All you want is honesty and that is not too much to ask.

I like your idea of having her cover the other parts of the trip to be even $$$ wise. If she won't go for that, you really need to have a heart to heart with her about it and let her know this really bothers you. A good friend wouldn't just not pay someone back.

 

[ceecee]

She's more a sister to my DH than a BFF. You don't do things like that to family.

I would NEVER treat family that way (not paying them back)!!! Expect them to pay for an airline ticket? You did her a favor getting it for less in the first place and that's the thanks she gives you.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

Well, I brought it up.

She is thrilled to get off the hook, so to speak, for the cash up front. She finally coughed up the reason for the delay. She had to sell some stock to cover various expenses and then the broker hemmed and hawed and anyway. Okay, that's out of the way.

So the hotel bill is hers. We're doing three nights in the town of the graduation and one night at the beach with the BFF who is graduating. (I'm sending her the link with all the beaside places to stay and letting her pick - that one night will be pricey! Yowza.) and the rental car is all hers. (And she wanted to spring for the airport rental, which will be $50 more due to airport taxes, but will make things much, much easier on the other BFF whose graduation we're going to see.)

So it comes out I may actually be a little bit ahead from where I'd be if we just split the cost of the hotel and the rental car.

 

[disney1990]

Over the years, several times I have loaned money to family and friends. The rules are, I have to accept that I may not get the money back. I have to accept that, if I do not get the money back, it will not affect the friendship in any way. If the money does not come back, then it is accepted that the money was a gift - not a loan.

Over the years, we have loaned sometimes $50 and sometimes several thousand dollars. In all cases, but one, the money was repaid. In the only case that it was not, I have never, ever mentioned it again.

 

[cm8]

I'm so sorry you're even having to vent about this. Honestly, what a horrible friend. I know Dave Ramsey stresses not to lend money to family or friends unless you don't expect to get it back, but really, if someone that close to you says they will pay you back, and they don't...they are not a good friend or good person.

OP, I feel your pain. I loaned my Sis $$$$$$ back in 2006/2007 to help her buy a house (down payment) and she agreed to pay me back in installments till it was paid off. Little did I know she sent out a memo saying she had ZERO intentions of paying me back because I could afford to be out that amount I'm still waiting .

I forgave her, but I am no longer friends with her. Family or not she has no right to treat you like that. Since we teach others how to treat us, it's time she learns a lesson My Sister chose to end our relationship when she chose not to keep her promise

 

[snarlingcoyote]

Over the years, several times I have loaned money to family and friends. The rules are, I have to accept that I may not get the money back. I have to accept that, if I do not get the money back, it will not affect the friendship in any way. If the money does not come back, then it is accepted that the money was a gift - not a loan.

Over the years, we have loaned sometimes $50 and sometimes several thousand dollars. In all cases, but one, the money was repaid. In the only case that it was not, I have never, ever mentioned it again.

This is totally where I need to be.