Never Loan Money to Friends or Family

[beansmom]

^ yeah...the quote up there.

Honey, it's only money and if you aren't gonna be evicted or go to bed hungry tonight without it, then let it go. Hopefully, your friend will keep her end of the deal you've made now...and all will end well.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

^ yeah...the quote up there.

Honey, it's only money and if you aren't gonna be evicted or go to bed hungry tonight without it, then let it go. Hopefully, your friend will keep her end of the deal you've made now...and all will end well.

That is pretty much what my DH said.

He was ticked off when we gave family members his mom's car. But after his DM passed, he realized that it was his inheritance from his dad that kept us out of serious financial trouble when we moved. (Sold the house, moved down here, the buyers wormed their way out of the sale after the last minute, then the housing market crashed. . .) We did not earn that money, except by dint of family relationship. So he decided that if some of our family needed the car, it was only good kismet to do so and would really help some of our favorite young relations out. I guess he's just decided that any monies lent will come back to us or they won't and if they don't, well, they just don't.

I'm always telling people "guess that's just a star in your crown in heaven" because I firmly believe in doing good for others, rewarded for it or not. I guess I need to add to that, even if it's not all fair or what you intended.

So I'm okay with it now, even if she backs out.

 

[shortbun]

I never 'loan' money. It sets everyone up for heartache and disappointment.

 

[mco65]

I have been burned by my brother and my SIL. That was Years ago so its no big deal now. I simply no longer loan money to friends/relatives. I don't do it!
If they ask for money, (couple hundred max) i give it to them and I stipulate that only on one condition, they DON'T PAY ME BACK.. PERIOD. DON't EVEN BRING IT UP.. It takes all the pressure off the relationship. I don't want to create any unnecessary tension over a few hundred dollars.

Last summer my family and my SILs family went to DC for a long weekend. We got 2 nice connected hotel suites. My wife paid because my SIL was a bit short on cash.. but she promised to pay her back.. you can guess what happened.. she never paid her back and this caused a little unnecessary drama. This could have been avoided if my wife simply told her sister not to worry about the cost of the hotel room.. we got it. She knew inside that she likely would not get the money back.. Everything is well and good now but I just know that something will happen one day and my wife will throw that DC hotel up in her sisters face..

 

[MomToOne]

I suggest you make some cancellable hotel reservations and a car reservation, just in case your "friend" doesn't hold up her end of the bargain and you find out at the last minute that you are SOL. Just sayin......

 

[NotUrsula]

Tip for airfare in order to get it back when folks bail on you: use points if you can. You can even buy points if necessary. Tickets purchased with points are always refundable, and the points go back into the account that they came out of in the first place. If they do pay up I just put the money toward my own ticket.

(PS: I don't do this because they stiff us on purchases that we make for them; I do it because they are notorious about backing out of travel plans, and the whole concept of "non-refundable" never quite seems to sink in somehow.)

Also, fwiw, if you collect points using CC and and your children have FF accounts as well, always use the freebies for your kids and pay for your own tickets. That way the monetary refund for a canceled flight always comes directly to you, and your kids earn points (it is more important for kids to earn actual butt-in-seat flight miles because they don't have the option of picking up more points via partner purchases.)

 

[Mama Who]

Well, I brought it up.

She is thrilled to get off the hook, so to speak, for the cash up front. She finally coughed up the reason for the delay. She had to sell some stock to cover various expenses and then the broker hemmed and hawed and anyway. Okay, that's out of the way.

So the hotel bill is hers. We're doing three nights in the town of the graduation and one night at the beach with the BFF who is graduating. (I'm sending her the link with all the beaside places to stay and letting her pick - that one night will be pricey! Yowza.) and the rental car is all hers. (And she wanted to spring for the airport rental, which will be $50 more due to airport taxes, but will make things much, much easier on the other BFF whose graduation we're going to see.)

So it comes out I may actually be a little bit ahead from where I'd be if we just split the cost of the hotel and the rental car.

Make sure you have the funds to pay for those things if she flakes. She is not financially reliable and I would hate to see you find yourself in the position of having nowhere to sleep.

 

[pampam]

Please let us know how it went.

 

[rock_doctor]

I am glad it all worked out.