Never Host a Pot Luck Dinner and other Entertaining Nightmares and Rants

[missypie]

We have a pot luck every month with our card club and people bring all kinds of stuff some big things some small, we all know to have our ovens on if anyone needs to finish cooking something. I guess I don't see what the big deal was at your party. The presentation isn't all that important at pot luck.

Flexible, easygoing people like you should host pot lucks...not people like me! Yes, so someone at your card club needs to cook something...so you take everything out that has been warming, to let one item cook...so the other hot dishes are no longer hot, but the other dish gets cooked. I guess I should just have a c'est la vie attitude toward the other people's dishes, but it's really not fair to them to let their food get cold so one person can cook.

 

[Christine]

Flexible, easygoing people like you should host pot lucks...not people like me! Yes, so someone at your card club needs to cook something...so you take everything out that has been warming, to let one item cook...so the other hot dishes are no longer hot, but the other dish gets cooked. I guess I should just have a c'est la vie attitude toward the other people's dishes, but it's really not fair to them to let their food get cold so one person can cook.

missypie,
I'd probably freak too. And honestly, I think some people's houses are probably better set up for pot lucks than others. I could probably do one because I have a HUGE kitchen that is U-shaped with a peninsula. All along the peninsula, I have outlets. I have so many outlets and so much countertop space, even the guy who replaced my counters GASPED when he saw them! But I have been to plenty of other homes where there is very little work space. I think a large potluck would be incredibly difficult in a home. We don't have problems at the office because we use conference rooms that have tons of tables, outlets, and cabinets.

 

[wide awake]

This is too funny !!! I hate potlucks for the same reason the OP does...people have a habit of bringing stuff that isn't ready to serve, that is a big mess, or they decide to change what they're bringing. I hate work potlucks...you have no idea what some people's kitchens look like...I stick w/ what I bring or stuff that is obviously from a store where there are some kind of cleanliness guidelines. I'm very anal about menus too...I don't want some type of hodgepodge presented as a balanced meal. Yes I know, I'm no fun !

 

[Disneyrsh]

It's a good thread; I'm bringing a cheesecake to a potluck party this sunday and it never occurred to me to bring something to serve it with.

I always make things in disposable containers because I don't want to be carting a dirty pie plate or lasagna pan back with me, but I didn't think servingware.

Now, if the potluck were at my house, I'd be going all Martha Stewart on everyone's butt and making sure that each person knew what to bring down to the last toothpick.

But I think potlucks can be really stressful if you're not an obsessive planner...

And fondue? WTH!? That's sooooo not portable. I think sometimes people like to show off instead of thinking, easy, good, portable.

 

[C.Ann]

The item that actually needed to be cooked would have annoyed me, but the rest wouldn't have phased me in the least.. I'd just be thankful for all the cooking I didn't have to do..

 

[mickeyboat]

(We did have plenty of wine, however.)

OK, I changed my mind. You can invite me to your next potluck.

It sounds like some people / locations are definitely better suited to have a dinner party, and some to have pot luck!

Denae

 

[clarabelle]

I am sure the OP was a gracious host -and just wants to vent a bit here.
I think that is one of the best things about a board like this -You can't chew out your guests for bringing fondue -but you can't rant a bit here later.
That way your guests don't get their feelings hurt. I certainly can't speak for Jesus -but I think he would understand that.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

(We did have plenty of wine, however.)

As long as your guests had plenty of wine I don't think they would notice.

We're in a dinner group and people do bring things that need to be heated up, lots of counter space, etc, but it's only about 6 families so not a big deal. I guess for more people that would be more problematic.

More than likely everyone had a good time, which is the most important thing. You'll forget the stress, especially with another glass of that wine...

 

[DisneyDotty]

I'd be going all Martha Stewart on everyone's butt and making sure that each person knew what to bring down to the last toothpick.

This is very funny.
And though the OP may seem a bit cranky, I understand her complaint completely. I am very anal too and would freak if a huge ole crockpot took up all my counter space.
I love entertaining, but I hate the logistics of it all.
BTW, I'm hosting a potluck chili dinner/cookie exchange/gift exchange/caroling party for 33 people next week. Heaven knows the size of chili pots that will be coming. I will be consuming lots of wine.

 

[missypie]

I am sure the OP was a gracious host -and just wants to vent a bit here.
I think that is one of the best things about a board like this -You can't chew out your guests for bringing fondue -but you can't rant a bit here later.
That way your guests don't get their feelings hurt. I certainly can't speak for Jesus -but I think he would understand that.

Thank you for your understanding. You're exactly right. The fondue lady is a friend of mine and the fondue was actually delicious...but a HUGE pain to deal with! The funny thing is, I've been to parties at her house, and she doesn't have any more counter space than I do....I don't know where she would have put it had it been at her own house!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

It's not that it didn't go well...I'm sure the guests thought it went fine. It was just very stressful for me.

Yes, yes...When you are the host, it can be stressful. If you do a "next time", what you do is have buffet tables laid out, with outlets for their stuff. (Also so they don't ruin your counter.)

Then the host, does not do ANY FOOD or DRINKS!

I have done that and it worked out well. You just had to clean, set up tables, you know all the labor.

 

[pearlieq]

I used to think I liked entertaining, until I tried it a few times. Between getting people to RSVP, the expense, the time and effort, the people you "have" to invite, and all the just plain crazy things people do or say, I think my party hosting career is nearly over!

I'm having a cookie exchange and white elephant swap this Friday. So far I've:

--Spent over $300 on food and decorations (and that was being frugal!)
--Spent hours reading about how to host a cookie exchange, picking a recipe, planning the menu, decorating, shopping, creating invitations and coordinating guests
--Had one invitee totally blow me off--not even a call to politely decline
--Had another guest back out a week after accepting for another commitment
--Had a few people complain because they don't enjoy baking
--Had others complain that we were making too many or too few cookies
--Had one invitee send me explicit instructions on how to run my own party
--Still not heard back from 2 guests about what cookie they're bringing
--Had my old best friend from high school get into a snit that someone already took the cookie she wanted to make. She then decided that this "wasn't the kind of party where she would fit and honestly didn't have time to make 4 dozen cookies now anyway"

I'm pretty disgusted at this point. I was really looking forward to this party and now a lot of the wind has been let out of my sails. I've learned a lot about who the "good" people are, and I plan to spend my time at the party focusing on them.

I'm never doing this again though. From now on, I'm sticking to my "real" friends only and I guess we'll only have ultra-casual, spur of the moment get togethers. I'm so disappointed.

 

[missypie]

Yes, yes...When you are the host, it can be stressful. If you do a "next time", what you do is have buffet tables laid out, with outlets for their stuff. (Also so they don't ruin your counter.)

Then the host, does not do ANY FOOD or DRINKS!

I have done that and it worked out well. You just had to clean, set up tables, you know all the labor.

I can't imiagine where "buffet tables...with outlets for their stuff" would go. It's not like I have a banquet hall. The whole problem was space...I couldn't create more.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I can't imiagine where "buffet tables...with outlets for their stuff" would go. It's not like I have a banquet hall. The whole problem was space...I couldn't create more.

Everytime I had a gathering that was large I would rearrange the furniture. I had so many gatherings I had it down to a science.

For example, this gathering you had you take note of "space" and how you can better arrange for the next time.

That is if you want to do a next time. Me personally, I am done for now. Too tired. I want to be able to go and enjoy myself these days.

 

[missypie]

Everytime I had a gathering that was large I would rearrange the furniture. I had so many gatherings I had it down to a science.

For example, this gathering you had you take note of "space" and how you can better arrange for the next time.

That is if you want to do a next time. Me personally, I am done for now. Too tired. I want to be able to go and enjoy myself these days.

Hard to imagine how I'd better arrange things. I though this event through in great detail because I knew space would be at a premium. I had card tables set up throughout,so everyone there could sit at a table. Short of removing furniture from the house, not a lot more I could do. And you're right...no more large pot lucks for me. I'd gladly have the same group over for appetizers and desserts, but I won't deal with the pot luck situation with a large group again.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You can't have everyone sit at a table and have a potluck in your home, unless of course you live in a palace, which I don't.

I think the formula is have seating for 1/2-3/4 of the guests to keep the people mingling (and to leave...hehehehe).
No really I do believe that is true.

 

[missypie]

You can't have everyone sit at a table and have a potluck in your home, unless of course you live in a palace, which I don't.

I think the formula is have seating for 1/2-3/4 of the guests to keep the people mingling (and to leave...hehehehe).
No really I do believe that is true.

You're probably right, but this party has been "the same" for decades (since before I joined the class). We changed a few elements and even that put the class social secretary in a snit. I wanted to have a place for everyone to sit. We are the youngest members of the group (late 40s) and I wanted everyone to have a comfortable place to sit.

 

[EthansMom]

I look forward to entertaining, but I'm not always happy with the guests.

I too have had guests that didn't RSVP, guests that didn't bring whatever food item they had said they would bring, guests whose food contribution was inedible, guests who told me to change my planned menu for them, guests who showed up late and then complained that they missed part of the party....

How hard is it to RSVP, bring whatever food item you said you would bring, and be a gracious guest while at my home?

It looks like I'll be stuck hostessing a Holiday meal for the in-laws again this year since no one else is willing to do it. I have decided that I'll have everyone over on a day other than Christmas, so I can spend Christmas with my kids instead of cleaning/cooking/generally slaving away to entertain DH's family. Also, instead of making a full dinner, I'll either have a cocktail party with appetizers and desserts, a dessert-only party, or have a luncheon with sandwich makings and side items.

It's hard to let guests actions roll off your back, but I think that's what you need to do sometimes. I'm slowly learning to just let it go. So, we don't have bread to serve because MIL didn't buy any. So, the salad is inedible because SMIL thought feta cheese, mandarin oranges, and rasberry vinagrette would taste good together. At least none of these errors were my fault.

Happy Holiday entertaining everyone!

 

[Jeafl]

Well, at least you had a lot of free counter space.

Sorry, but this made me LOL!

I do sympathize with you Missypie, it is stressful to entertain.

 

[Talking Hands]

Our Deaf Ministry has a potluck at the church just about every month. We also invite deaf people, interpreters and ASL students to join us. We ask each person to bring a dish to share. This time we had a sign-up but not always and also have people to show up that have not signed up so their dishes are always a surprise. Food has to be brought cooked. Nothing but warmers in the kitchen because most stuff is catered or potluck even the school activities. Our biggest problem is people not bringing anything and expecting to eat anyway and a few who decide not only to eat but to take a plate home for later. This time I brought A huge macaroni and cheese with ham and a 24 pack of assorted cans of diet soda (all Splenda sweetened). What I did notice was some of the people taking several cans home for later. Geez, WTH. And these weren't even the diabetics. One thing I do at potlucks is take a drink I can have and a dish that is ok for me as a diabetic. In other words I provide some I can have and if that is the only thing ok for me I eat just that. No if a host was giving specific assignments I would either explain that I would bring a dish I could have or just not attend if that wasn't ok. And I always bring my own soda as I don't expect people to supply diet soda with Splenda.