...if 250 million (yup 250 million ~ thank you Iron and Zinc) Portuguese navigators cannot find three French eggs...
Jeez! They stink. I don't know if they were sailing in circles, avoiding the islands or what...
Anyway, if you are missing the point my ridiculous rambling is trying to make - it is that my pregnancy test came back negative on Friday. I was out to lunch with my best friend at the Cheesecake Factory when the call came in so I drowned my sorrows in a piece of Snickers Cheesecake.
My cycle began on Saturday, so today I headed in for a baseline US. I just spoke with the nurse and I will begin injections again this evening. The same amount : 150 mg of Menopur which I get to mix
and inject myslef with for the next five nights. I will go for another US on Saturday morning to see where things are...
Since my doctor is in Providence and there is a spa I like in the Providence Place Mall, once I find out the date of the insemination, I am booking a massage... I want to be uber-relaxed... I don't know if I will have the massage before or after the insemination... I guess it just depends... It isnt like this is something I can plan too well... Nelson and I have also decided to get a hotel room right in Providence... probably at the Westin. It looks like the insemination may take place around our 7th wedding anniversary (10/12) so we may try to "get away" 20 minutes from home.
On another note, we have made a decision (which I fully retain the right to go back on at any point)
I will continue this through the end of the year. I had my very first insemination on 12/02/2008, so if I go through December, I will have been trying ART (assisted reproductive therapy) for a year. As of January, if I am not pregnant, I will be contacting DCYF to begin the process of finding a child that needs a loving home more than I will ever need a biological child. I don't pretend that it will be easy to "give up" on this dream, but I cannot go on like this forever. I am putting myself at higher risk for multiple problems down the road with the hormones I am pumping my body full of and I cannot continue to take that risk. What would be the point of having a child only to leave it potentially motherless? I also keep seeing (or noticing) things about adoption. I almost feel as if God is putting these things in my face for a reason. I think adoption may be a calling for me. This could be THE reason for all this. I need to continue trying for now thoguh. I need to know that I tried to the best of my ability. I am devastated to think that there may not be a child out there with my husbands gorgeous eyes, hair, and mischievous smile. But he says it is ok. He is so good to me. And I know he will be the best father, whether the child grows in my belly or in our hearts.
Thanks to everyone for their prayers, thoughts, and pixie dust. Is it too much to ask that you keep it up?
You all know just how to make me laugh and feel loved in these difficult times.
Oh, and I'm pushing for a June baby ... shoot for my birthday (and no, I'm not telling when!). And I still say Sue will be a great name for a boy or a girl.
DIRECTIONS!
You are wodnerful to keep us all updated. Your conitnued abliity to stay positive through all this is inspiring.
No... It went down the hatch too fast... it was deliciously yummy though... 
They smiled, we smiled, and we all went about our journeys! I may never see them again but I wish them all the luck in the world. 
