Neighbors told my kids they can't play outside anymore

[MamaLema]

Actually not my neighbours, but the people that live across the street from me.

My kids play outside on the weekends. Yesterday, my kids came home and told me the people across the street told them they can't play outside anymore. They said the street is for cars and is not a playground. Their adult daughter is trying to sleep and they are making too much noise (2pm Sunday afternoon)

Because it was starting to rain anyway, I told the kids just to come inside for the day. Between my kids and neighbours, we have 9 boys. I will admit that 9 boys can get loud at times.

I don't know if there is more to this story. I would like to get both sides, maybe their car got hit or something but I am not sure. I don't really want to talk to them because I don't like confrontation but I guess I have to. We have had a "hi, how are you" relationship until now.

I guess I'm asking do you think it is reasonable to live in a neighbourhood and expect that kids won't play outside at some point?

BTW, I will be sending my kids outside again

 

[princesspiglet]

I think that is utterly ridiculous. Kids are meant to play outside! Every commercial that is on tv and radio now is about sending our kids outside to play!

These neighbors sound like old fuddy-duddys. First, they have an adult daughter living at home- who needs to take a nap at 2pm??

I would just tell your kids to stay away from their house, driveway, cars, whatever. They don't own the street and your kids have every right to play outside in a PUBLIC place!

 

[starann]

Pretty sure they don't own the street! Now if the kids hit their car with a ball or were in their grass or one of the kids almost got hit by a car, that is one thing, but telling kids they can't playoutside because their daughter is sleeping......so the whole world should stop so their daughter can sleep? Even if she works nights, people cut their grass and do out side things (I used to work nights) during the day.

I would ask if there was a problem with the kids playing outside...in a non confrontational way and if they offer you no reasons why, I would politely say thank you and send the kdis outside with a warning to stay away from the neighbors!

 

[happygirl]

I would find out both sides, maybe they were in there yard.

 

[ols386]

Actually not my neighbours, but the people that live across the street from me.

My kids play outside on the weekends. Yesterday, my kids came home and told me the people across the street told them they can't play outside anymore. They said the street is for cars and is not a playground. Their adult daughter is trying to sleep and they are making too much noise (2pm Sunday afternoon)

Because it was starting to rain anyway, I told the kids just to come inside for the day. Between my kids and neighbours, we have 9 boys. I will admit that 9 boys can get loud at times.

I don't know if there is more to this story. I would like to get both sides, maybe their car got hit or something but I am not sure. I don't really want to talk to them because I don't like confrontation but I guess I have to. We have had a "hi, how are you" relationship until now.

I guess I'm asking do you think it is reasonable to live in a neighbourhood and expect that kids won't play outside at some point?

BTW, I will be sending my kids outside again

So did they say your kids couldn't play "outside", or did they say the kids couldn't play "in the street"?

If they said that they couldn't/shouldn't play in the street, then I don't think that's unreasonable. Is it just a regular street, or a cul-de-sac?

 

[spacemountainmom]

I am gonna guess that the adult daughter works the night shift, but that's not your problem.

I would continue to let the kids play outside and if the neighbors say something, the kids should tell them to talk to you.

If they wanted to live where it's quiet, they should move to a senior housing area.

 

[kamik86]

I think that is utterly ridiculous. Kids are meant to play outside! Every commercial that is on tv and radio now is about sending our kids outside to play!

These neighbors sound like old fuddy-duddys. First, they have an adult daughter living at home- who needs to take a nap at 2pm??

I would just tell your kids to stay away from their house, driveway, cars, whatever. They don't own the street and your kids have every right to play outside in a PUBLIC place!

People who work nights?

My husband will probably be sleeping at 2PM some days next week he is working overnight and will get home just before I leave for work. He will sleep while I work and we will having the evenings together before he leaves again.

That being said we would never tell kids not to play, as long as my landlord stops doing construction on our entry way during that time (he normally works mostly on the weekends anyway so this shouldn't be an issue) he will sleep just fine.


Now to the OP... were the kids literally playing in the street? The "streets are for cars" comment makes me think maybe they were. There is a street near me that has a basketball hoop at the edge of the corner and people play in the road at the intersection. This would get really annoying if my house was near there and I needed to drive through that. Not to mention dangerous for the kids. However if they were in their yard/the yards of other kids I see your point and the kids should be able to play.

 

[RachaelA]

So did they say your kids couldn't play "outside", or did they say the kids couldn't play "in the street"?

If they said that they couldn't/shouldn't play in the street, then I don't think that's unreasonable. Is it just a regular street, or a cul-de-sac?

Even though I don't think kids should play in the street, they are still allowed to do so. I don't remember there being any laws that stated that kids had to stay in yards.

 

[Tinkermommy]

That's crazy. I think too many kids stay inside. I want mine outside and playing as much as possible.

1. The neighbors only own their property. Not the street or anywhere else.

2. Yes, kids are loud when they play. They are playing at an appropriate time. They are not playing late at night. If the daughter needs to sleep during the day she needs to wear ear plugs. Are they going to tell adults they can't mow or make any noise in the neighborhood?

3. I would have gone over there and spoken to them. They don't get to tell my child they cannot play outside. And maybe there is more to the story and I would like to know that as well.

 

[HonnyDipp]

of course you should continue to send your kids outside to play. They have no control on what goes on in a public area. As long as your kids stay off their property, there's nothing they can say. If they have a problem with that, they can come talk to you and leave your kids out of it.

 

[wendy46001]

I'd talk to the neighbors; maybe they are playing in their driveway or in the street. At 2 their daughter just needs to deal though.

What I do agree with is that the street is for cars. We have these annoying people down the street who put out those “caution children playing” turtles in the street and basically block the road (they expect you to turn your car around, exit the neighborhood and come in the other entrance). I totally admit to driving up to the turtles and honking until they move them out of the way so I can get to my house.

 

[bgirldeb]

The street IS for cars.

I think as long as your kids stick to your side of the street on the sidewalk/in the yard, you shouldn't worry about the neighbors in the middle of the day.

 

[ols386]

Even though I don't think kids should play in the street, they are still allowed to do so. I don't remember there being any laws that stated that kids had to stay in yards.

So if children decide to play on a busy street, it's allowed?

I guess if it's a cal-de-sac or a neighborhood street that's not real busy, then probably no harm in that.

 

[Andtototoo]

Well, I'll tell you, I'm not an old fuddy duddy and I remember playing in the street as a kid, but I can feel my blood pressure rising every time I come down my street due to the kids playing on it. They don't seem to see any difference between their front yard and the street, don't seem to know that the primary function of a street surface is for the conveyance of vehicular traffic or that if my car hits one of them, it's not the car who will suffer the most. I cannot tell you the number of times I've had kids play "chicken" with my car or the number of times I've had to thank god that my brakes work because some kid ran from inbetween parked cars into the street -- including my next door neighbor's eighteen month old who's out there BY HIMSELF in the street. And btw -- we live in a middle class, new suburban development.

So if your kids play outside on the street, do they know the rules of playing on the street?

-Make way for cars
-Do not yell at the drivers of cars to "Get off the effing road!"
-Do not throw stuff at cars
-Do not pretend to throw stuff at cars
-Do not pretend to dart in front of a car because it's fun to give a driver a heart attack
-Do not run into the street -- either on foot, scooter, or bike -- without looking

 

[FireDancer]

Unless it is a main road I don't know why kids wouldn't be able to play in the street. I played in the street all the time growing up. We would play street hockey, soccer, baseball, and stuff like that. If a car was coming we would move.

I have a lot of kids on my street now and they are always playing in the street. If a car comes they move. It beats sitting around in the house and playing video games all the time.

I would also never complain about kids playing too loudly outside during the day.

 

[NMAmy]

If it were me, I'd want to know what my kid was doing to prompt the neighbors to talk to the kids. I agree with the statement that streets are for cars not for playing. I know that many parents do allow their kids to play in the street but I think it's dangerous for everyone involved even on a quiet street.

I'm all for kids playing outside but what's wrong with the yard, the driveway or the sidewalk?

 

[SaraJayne]

Unless it is a main road I don't know why kids wouldn't be able to play in the street. I played in the street all the time growing up. We would play street hockey, soccer, baseball, and stuff like that. If a car was coming we would move.

I have a lot of kids on my street now and they are always playing in the street. If a car comes they move. It beats sitting around in the house and playing video games all the time.

I can't speak for the OP, but where we live, there is no reason for kids to be playing in the street.

Our yards are all half an acre, and the entire subdivision is unfenced. So the neighborhood kids have literally acres and acres to run around on. All the driveways are paved and most of them have basketball hoops, so they don't need to play in the street.

Even though we live on a relatively quiet street, the kids are not allowed to play in the street.

 

[MamaLema]

So if children decide to play on a busy street, it's allowed?

I guess if it's a cal-de-sac or a neighborhood street that's not real busy, then probably no harm in that.

Just a little side note. Our street is not busy at all. It's actually a very small street that hardly has cars going through it.

And for the people who said that the adult daughter might be working nights, yes it's possible. My DH also works nights, but he does not expect total silence in the day.

I think the best thing I can do is just to go there and talk to them to see what exactly the problem was.

 

[mickeyboat]

I have been sorely tempted to tell some kids on our street the same thing.

Our street is not really all that safe to play on - it's curvy and barely wide enough for two cars to pass. There are times during the day (morning and evening commutes) when there is an awful lot of traffic. My DDs are 11 and 12 and I still get nervous when they play in the street.

A new family moved in at the end of the road and their boys are constantly playing in the street - riding bikes, running up and down, etc. I don't care that they are playing there, but they are not being supervised at all, they are not being respectful, and they are not watching for cars. It is just a matter of time before one of those children gets injured. Last week part of our yard had to be dug up to fix a problem with our neighbor's sewer pipe, and the freshly planted grass is now criss-crossed with bike tire tracks.

 

[jen0610]

I think that is utterly ridiculous. Kids are meant to play outside! Every commercial that is on tv and radio now is about sending our kids outside to play!

These neighbors sound like old fuddy-duddys. First, they have an adult daughter living at home- who needs to take a nap at 2pm??

I would just tell your kids to stay away from their house, driveway, cars, whatever. They don't own the street and your kids have every right to play outside in a PUBLIC place!

People who work 3rd shift or a 12/24 hour shifts.
Someone who is ill.
A mom with a new baby.
Someone who is traveling and has to start out at midnight.

There are many reasons for a person to sleep during the day.

When DH worked nights, our neighbors knew this and did a really nice job of keeping the kids outta the yard next to the side of our house that the master bedroom was on. Did we ask them, no. They just all did it.

A lady I use to work with, when her DD had her triplets, the famlies neighbors all got together and told her if she would hang a white towel in the nursery window, when the kids napped, they would try and keep the kids at one of the houses away from them. It gave the babies some peaceful sleep and mom took advantage and took naps during that time as well.