Need your Opinion - 13DS go alone around the park?

[jolynda]

i wasn't telling you how to raise your kids...i was only giving a response to the comment you directed specifically at me.

Hmm. Yet the implication seemed to be that I am somehow offering my children up for abuse.

I know this is not what you meant, so like I said, you do what you feel is best and I will do the same. No harm, no foul. Peace.

 

[pixiewings71]

My girls are 9 & 12, the 12 y.o. will be 13 in July. We have APs and have been frequent DL visitors over the past couple of years. Do we let our kids go off alone, yes we do. BUT, they always have a cell phone, we know where they are going and they know where we are waiting. For instance, we don't like to ride Star Tours or Space Mtn every trip, but the girls DO! So, we let them go ride those rides while we wait for them. It gives them a sense of independence and shows we trust them. Do we trust others? Uhhhh NO! But the girls stay together and if something happened to one the other knows what to do. RUN for the closest CM! They know our cell numbers by heart and we always have a phone on us. I do not delude myself into thinking that DL is "safer" than any other place BUT neither do I delude myself into thinking that our neighborhood, the playground or their schools are much safer. Seriously, predators are everywhere. It's something we need to deal with as females, now is the time for me to teach my daughters how to be aware of their surroundings and how to ascertain threats to their well being. This is a parenting choice that is made within our family. I think the 13 y.o. would be fine BUT not alone, perhaps with someone his own age or close to it. Will there be a friend or family member that might want to go with him? Or what about letting him go do a ride while you wait in a shop near the ride? That might be the best way to start.

Oh and FTR, we let our girls take a couple friends a couple trips ago, they were not allowed to go "off" on their own but they were allowed to ride rides without us right there with them.

 

[Vixen]

thats so true perdetors are everywhere including schools

 

[kkmcan]

We have let our 12 year old and 9 year old ride a few rides together but we were right there to watch them (the outside rides). Also, we let them go into bugsland and ride those rides while dh and I held down our parade spots right there at the exit of bugsland.

They have a cellphone and know right where we'll be so I guess I wouldn't personally feel comfortable letting them wander a whole park themselves but a small area or group of rides would be fine.

 

[Belle Ella]

I don't have kids so who knows what I would do, but I was between 13 and 15 on the first vacation that my parents let me off by myself because we all just do things differently. It was a lot better that way. I don't believe we had cell phones then, but I had a walkie talkie with me (haha) and we checked in frequently. It worked out perfectly for us, and I would think with a cell phone I'd be OK with it.

 

[Mike_M]

I was a latch key kid who walked home from school alone ever since the 5th grade (It was a half hour to an hour walk if I remember right with no adult supervision at all) and took the city bus to school from the 7th grade until my senior year of HS so for me, it isn't that big of a deal. I think it has a lot to do with the maturity level of the kid(s) and if they understand what to do to keep themselves as safe as possible.

Here is the question. Where are your kids allowed to go by themselves when in your home town? Are they allowed to go downtown without parents? Are they allowed to go to the nearby drug store or convienance store by themselves or with their friends? Is there a city park within a few miles from your house where they go without parental supervision? If so, then they have already been in less safe places than DL. DL has a better safety record then a lot of public schools and is probably more heavily monitored then most schools are as well.

Nothing is 100% safe but that is just a part of living. Personally, I would let a 13 yr old have a little freedom at DL so long as they have shown that they are responsible enough to be trusted to do the right thing.

 

[mechurchlady]

Yea or no depends on the child. How prone are they to doing what others do even if it is wrong? if you left him alone in the park and someone broke a rule would he do the same or would he report their sorry rumps or would he just carry on like he is supposed to carry on?

Perverts and Safety.
Any where you go there might be perverts. The kid is not at danger and is safer in Disney parks because their are security agents and CMs everywhere as well as adults. One scream from a kid and you would have 50 people milling around ready to break bones. That same mob would also come running if a kid was having seizures, passed out, got hurt or whatever. There are many nice guests who help out when needed as well as CMs so safety and perverts is a moot point.

Mischief
that is based on observation of your child early on and reinforcing obeying the rules. Are they on the Orange Stinger swinging away and putting their hands in the water on boat rides?

He will get lost
Give him a cell phone and a map. Talk about where he is going and what he plans to see and do. Give him $5 for snacks. It is time to grow up and learn how to do things on his own. Kids live in jungles all their lives and do not get lost because of early training.

i remember when they just turned us loose and let us have fun without cell phones or worries.

 

[Mugglemama]

Hmm. Yet the implication seemed to be that I am somehow offering my children up for abuse.

I know this is not what you meant, so like I said, you do what you feel is best and I will do the same. No harm, no foul. Peace.

i implied no such thing, lol. i think maybe you're just being defensive. my first post was a general one, not directed at you (it was a response to the OP), yet you took it upon yourself to answer in such a way that insinuated i had been targeting you. sheesh.

i'm surprised by the reaction, considering the only reason i posted the initial information at all was just to inform those who may not have seen the stories about the child sex predators who claim to meet up at disneyland regularly to get their kicks watching little kids. there are some people (okay, not you, i get it) who may have appreciated that info. so, it's just there for whoever finds it useful.

for those who are interested, here is a profile i found in less than 2 minutes of just ONE of these individuals who are known to hang out at Disneyland....

http://absolutezerotolerance.wordpress.com/category/rookiee/

 

[SeansMom]

Yep, I remember that too. I even rode a dirt bike WAY far away from home for hours at a time at that age. Fearless. Fun. No worries.

I would say YEA to letting a 13 year old have some freedom. At some point they have to learn responsibility AND confidence.

 

[Eeee-va]

This "teenager" thing is just starting and my gut says " He is a great kid with good head on his shoulders!" Cell phone in pocket is a must! Last time he did not want to watch the parade and wanted to go on POTC. I think he's ready. . . Baby Sitter Certified, CPR/AED/First Aid Certified and now Gun Safety Certified!
Thanks!

Given your description, I think he'd be just fine to go on a specific ride while the rest of the family does something else. Probably just fine to do more, but I think something like the example you outlined would be a great test run for him--he'd know where to meet you and with a cell phone there's a great backup.

I honestly don't think it's at all likely that he'd be bothered, but if someone were to try to abduct him, he can yell "He's kidnapping me!" or maybe even better, "Fire!" to draw attention to the scene--no matter what he was threatened with. If a child/teenager fought back I don't honestly see how he or she could be taken out of the gates without drawing attention.

 

[PigletGurl]

My parents don't let my 13 year old sister go on her own. If she does she has to be accompanied by me. (19)

I can tho =]

 

[bumbershoot]

Then we'd go have a burger and a beer at our neighborhood brewpub for an hour. (Mmmm, McMenamins!)

Off to look at the McMenamins site to see which one you get to go to...they have yet to open in Tacoma, grr. Then again, we have the Harmon Brewery downtown with the Hub...both easily walkable, and they have some good brew. But McM has a place in our hearts...we're going to Grand Lodge for a delayed hubby b'day celebration...and we got married in Hillsboro at Cornelius Pass Roadhouse.

I remember being dropped off with friends for the day at that age. Also I live in Santa Clara and there is Great America here, it opened in 1976 and I was friends with the mayors daughter so we got in free. In 1976 I was about 11, we spent all summer there unsupervised. I think at 13 she will be fine.

I grew up in San Jose, and I'm a few years behind you, but at 10 we had free roaming privileges, as long as we checked in at predetermined times. Miss a time, get to hang with the mom. I liked my mom and so did my friends, but it wasn't *quite* the same.

LOL, yeah as if disneyland would let THAT get into the media if they could prevent it in any way! you're going to tell me that in all the years that disneyland has been open, you're convinced that no child has ever been sexually abused there, simply because you didn't hear about it? if we're talking statistics, that sounds pretty unlikely.


to each his own, and hey, if you consider being overly concerned about child sex predators to equate to "living your life in fear", more power to you. personally though, disneyland seems like a potential *buffet* for the freaks out there who intend harm on children, and my kids won't be on the menu.

I've been thinking about Michael Jackson recently, and how everyone absolutely assumes he's been up to no good, but there's never been a court case against him at all. The implication being that he pays people off.

And it feels that that is your implication about disney, that they've made an offer too good to refuse, so that people don't talk about things that happened.

And I ask you...just how much would MJ or Disneyland have to pay you, to keep you quiet if something happened to your children. I got up to 500 million before I realized that there was absolutely NOTHING that I could be offered to keep me quiet if MJ or someone at Disneyland did something bad to my child. ME? Maybe. 500 mil is a goodly sum of money. But Eamon? Absolutely NOTHING could make up for it. Nothing.

I figure most people would feel the same, especially about sexual abuse. I can't imagine a normal average parent NOT alerting the media. And IMO someone that WOULD take money to keep quiet about their child being assaulted, well, I have no good words for someone who might do that, though I bet my SIL would, and she's not a good person, and SHE has pretty much offered up, we believe, her two daughters to her roommates, considering the behaviour of her older girl towards my 4 year old son last summer (it was very very worrisome behaviour).


And I would worry about a kid going off to college without any preparation. My grandmother, my mom, and I all left home at 17. My grandma and mom to be married. Me for college. I left California and went to Washington state. Then my mom moved to Florida. IF I hadn't had the experience in watching out for myself that I had, how could I have dealt with being on a college campus? Walking to the store to get groceries? Heck, how could I have handled two solo trips to New Orleans? It all builds, and if you don't allow them any sort of freedom as young teens, when they go off to college at 17 or 18, what happens then?

Now I'm an anomaly, even for the time that I was raised. My mom had to work long hours and had no good kidcare. So at 9 I WAS the kidcare. For myself and my younger brother. There was no other option. I started babysitting young, and babysat for long hours. I can't even imagine leaving my dude home at 9, especially if he had a little sib, but then I have a different life than my mom, and we live in a different area (though we found out later that our cross-the-street neighbors weren't really all that nice at all!) so there are differences. I'm more protective over DS than my mom was of me.

Actually, the ONE time that someone creepy approached me...I was actually there WITH MY MOM. He did his creepiness right in front of her, perhaps not knowing she was my mom, perhaps not caring. My mom had to become a tigress to get this hulking man out of the building (she worked at a movie theater and it was after-hours as she was closing, and I'd gone to work with her to watch the movie). So gosh, in the face of someone like *that*, a parent makes no difference anyway, it wasn't that she was my mom, but rather that she was a second person in the room.

And even that experience helped me be stronger, more aware of my surroundings, knowing to not let my guard down even in familiar places...wish he hadn't approached me at all, of course, and glad he was able to be gotten out of the building.

My parents don't let my 13 year old sister go on her own. If she does she has to be accompanied by me. (19)

I can tho =]

What age were you allowed to go on your own?

 

[Mugglemama]

I've been thinking about Michael Jackson recently, and how everyone absolutely assumes he's been up to no good, but there's never been a court case against him at all. The implication being that he pays people off.

And it feels that that is your implication about disney, that they've made an offer too good to refuse, so that people don't talk about things that happened.

And I ask you...just how much would MJ or Disneyland have to pay you, to keep you quiet if something happened to your children. I got up to 500 million before I realized that there was absolutely NOTHING that I could be offered to keep me quiet if MJ or someone at Disneyland did something bad to my child. ME? Maybe. 500 mil is a goodly sum of money. But Eamon? Absolutely NOTHING could make up for it. Nothing.

I figure most people would feel the same, especially about sexual abuse. I can't imagine a normal average parent NOT alerting the media. And IMO someone that WOULD take money to keep quiet about their child being assaulted, well, I have no good words for someone who might do that, though I bet my SIL would, and she's not a good person, and SHE has pretty much offered up, we believe, her two daughters to her roommates, considering the behaviour of her older girl towards my 4 year old son last summer (it was very very worrisome behaviour).


And I would worry about a kid going off to college without any preparation. My grandmother, my mom, and I all left home at 17. My grandma and mom to be married. Me for college. I left California and went to Washington state. Then my mom moved to Florida. IF I hadn't had the experience in watching out for myself that I had, how could I have dealt with being on a college campus? Walking to the store to get groceries? Heck, how could I have handled two solo trips to New Orleans? It all builds, and if you don't allow them any sort of freedom as young teens, when they go off to college at 17 or 18, what happens then?

Now I'm an anomaly, even for the time that I was raised. My mom had to work long hours and had no good kidcare. So at 9 I WAS the kidcare. For myself and my younger brother. There was no other option. I started babysitting young, and babysat for long hours. I can't even imagine leaving my dude home at 9, especially if he had a little sib, but then I have a different life than my mom, and we live in a different area (though we found out later that our cross-the-street neighbors weren't really all that nice at all!) so there are differences. I'm more protective over DS than my mom was of me.

Actually, the ONE time that someone creepy approached me...I was actually there WITH MY MOM. He did his creepiness right in front of her, perhaps not knowing she was my mom, perhaps not caring. My mom had to become a tigress to get this hulking man out of the building (she worked at a movie theater and it was after-hours as she was closing, and I'd gone to work with her to watch the movie). So gosh, in the face of someone like *that*, a parent makes no difference anyway, it wasn't that she was my mom, but rather that she was a second person in the room.

And even that experience helped me be stronger, more aware of my surroundings, knowing to not let my guard down even in familiar places...wish he hadn't approached me at all, of course, and glad he was able to be gotten out of the building.

wow. this entire thing sure blew up! i'm genuinely surprised by such strong reactions. i really just wanted to post the information for those who might find it useful.

what the poster wrote, is that i implied that she was somehow offering her 11 year old up for abuse, which i absolutely did not. to be honest, she seems to have completely personalized my initial message which wasn't even directed at her. (not sure why that is so hard to determine through my posts?)

as far as implying that disney would pay off a family to stop them from going to the media with something that would bring a lot of bad publicity for their enterprise.....uh, yeah....i definitely think they would do that. does it really sound so far fetched? i mean, much MUCH stranger things have happened, lol. and yes, to answer your question, i definitely believe there are parents in this world who would accept large sums of money to not talk to the media under those circumstances. maybe not you, maybe not me, but somewhere in the world, yes i think there are those who would.

but truthfully, my goal here was just to get some info out that i thought maybe some parents might not know about, and might want to have, that's all. i care a lot about children, and don't want harm to come to ANY child, anywhere. i think the best way to help in that endeavor is to supply information when it exists to be supplied. that's all i was doing.

honestly, i'm so surprised that anyone would feel affronted at the fact that i posted some info i thought might help the OP make her decision? (i mean, she WAS asking for opinions, yes?)

it's frustrating when fellow posters feel the need to turn a simple post into a personal attack, especially when i sincerely wasn't attacking anyone (except maybe people who stalk children and want to harm them). it's clear from my initial response to the OP that i was only trying to answer her question. i wasn't judging anyone.

 

[tasha99]

I would let DD16 go on her own, but not DS11. I'm thinking I wouldn't let him go at 13 either--he's very responsible, but also very naive. He just seems so much younger than his sister was at the same age (I guess girls mature earlier, but she also grew up too fast and he's been more sheltered--at 11 she was a "preteen," but he's still a little boy). I know he'd be okay, but I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself. I do let him stay home alone for short periods of time, but it's our neighborhood and the doors are locked.

 

[prncssmel]

but truthfully, my goal here was just to get some info out that i thought maybe some parents might not know about, and might want to have, that's all. i care a lot about children, and don't want harm to come to ANY child, anywhere. i think the best way to help in that endeavor is to supply information when it exists to be supplied. that's all i was doing.

honestly, i'm so surprised that anyone would feel affronted at the fact that i posted some info i thought might help the OP make her decision? (i mean, she WAS asking for opinions, yes?)

it's frustrating when fellow posters feel the need to turn a simple post into a personal attack, especially when i sincerely wasn't attacking anyone (except maybe people who stalk children and want to harm them). it's clear from my initial response to the OP that i was only trying to answer her question. i wasn't judging anyone.

I don't think anyone was trying to insult you; it seems they were just disagreeing with you. Given that most sexual abuse is caused by someone who knows the child, it just seemed they were disagreeing with your opinion that an event like that was likely to happen in DL.

Back to the OP - I don't have kids, but I am the oldest child and grandchild by several years, so it seems I have always been in a motherly position. I really think it depends on the the maturity of your child. At 13, I had been babysitting for a few years already and was allowed to be at home alone. I went to California with a school group then, and we were able to go around DL in groups of 4 without adults. There were no problems at all.

I am extremely glad my parents trusted me and gave me a chance to do things on my own and prove myself. One of my best friends had very overbearing parents. It created a problem because as soon as we moved away for college, she went crazy. She had never been to make decisions on her own before and had not been allowed to do a lot of things during hs. Basically, she made every bad decision there was during our freshman year, and I attribute it to how overbearing her parents were.

As to the possible kidnapping/abuse, in DL with all those people around, it seems unlikely that a 13 year old could be taken without it being noticed.

 

[splash5]

My DS is 14 and is 6' 3" tall. He also took Kung Fu for 7 years and is a black belt. I'm not really worried about his safety, because I know he could protect himself. I still struggle with OMS (overprotective mom syndrome), he is my only child. I'd like to think that I have loosened up over the years (he would probably say "Not really!") but I know I have. I would probably still worry a bit, but he has his cell phone and knows Disneyland like he was born there (he's my son, so of course he knows it well). I have instilled the best of Disney into him - he loves it like I do!!!

 

[Judy from Boise]

I believe that the job of parents is to raise happy, productive, and confident kids. The job is about what is best for my child, not what helps keep me calm, or comfortable, or exposes me to no risk of recriminations. If i am not continually stretching my self as a parent, for sure i am not keeping up with my child's development.
Every child has a unique developmental timetable, but I do beleive that decisions should be based on the real now of their development,and probable risk, not some arbitrary age, or factoring all possible risk in the universe.

So in a nutshell, I did let my DD do some roaming at 13. It was uncomfortable (but appropriate stretching) for me, and confidence producing for her!

 

[PigletGurl]

What age were you allowed to go on your own?

Age 16.