Need support - DD is at Disney w/o me!

[Zuzu03]

DD is down at Disney with her Dad (we're divorced) and it's making me crazy! I took her to France and Spain in April, and that was our big vacation, but Disney is, well, "our" place!

My DH has absolutely NO sympathy for me, but he doesn't get it. Any words of support? I'm refraining from texting her every 10 minutes to see what she's doing. ARGH!!

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

I can imagine how you feel. DH left me and now does fun things with our sons without me. But, doing Disney without me, not that would really hurt. I try to plan things for when my sons are away but nothing compares with the fun of going to Disney. Hang in there is all I can say. She'll soon be home and appreciating you for letting her have some special time with her dad. One day she'll thank you for giving her these opportunities.

 

[Mickey527]

MY ex never took our boys on vacation until they were old enough to drink. Then he took them to Las Vegas and they were supposed to fly home on 9/11/2001.
My oldest son is now the father of a 3 year old. I have taken them to WDW every year but this year his ex wife is taking their son. He is not as upset about WDW but the fact that he will miss his son terribly when he is gone. 1 week will feel like 6 months without him in my house.

 

[Shadow Dancer]

Instead of thinking that the glass is half empty, look at it this way - your ex was probably pretty jealous that the two of you were in France and Spain earlier this year.

I personally think that trip wins hands down over Disney.

 

[diznygirl]

I hate it when my mom makes everything I do with my dad all about HER. Please don't do that. Just let her enjoy herself. Keep sitting on your hands!!

 

[Planogirl]

I would LOVE to go to France and Spain! Keep that trip in mind and maybe you'll keep this in perspective.

 

[Zuzu03]

Thanks for your words of support! I know she's having fun with her dad and that's great because I also know many kids who don't have a good relationship with one or even both of their parents, so yes, I'm working on that glass half full bit.

 

[figment52]

Instead of thinking that the glass is half empty, look at it this way - your ex was probably pretty jealous that the two of you were in France and Spain earlier this year.

I personally think that trip wins hands down over Disney.

I was thinking that way too.

Dad may have also been slightly concerned about what to do on vacation so picked something safe to avoid conflict or the dreaded "I'm bored."

 

[Nie0214]

Be glad that your daughter has a relationship with her father, one that includes vacations. Many children don't even get the option of going on vacation with their dad, or worse yet, get to see their dad take their step-siblings on vacation while they stay home.

Honestly, I think you're being quite selfish. Be happy for your daughter and remember that the vacation is between daughter/father and really has nothing to do with you.

 

[4nana]

Your DD is fortunate to have 2 parents who love her, she can vacation with, and make special memories that will last a lifetime.

 

[livie1205]

I think it is GREAT he took her to wdw! instead of making it about your feelings think about how she would feel if he did not ever take her ANYWHERE...my ex does not even help support my son and has another child he will not take care of on the way!Their time together is NOT about your feelings...we have offered our APS to both of our exs to take the boys to wdw because my dh ex nor mine do ANYTHING with the kids...feel lucky NOT upset because he is not thinking of your feelings...he is doing what any good father would do thinking about his DAUGHTER.
Did you ask his feelings about taking her on vacation?

 

[JanaNs]

The year before last my DH (we were seperated at the time) took my two daughters to Disney World without me. I drove them to the airport and balled my eyes out all the way home! I know how you feel...the whole time they were away I was sick. The only consolation was they kept texting me and telling me they wished I were there. I feel for you.
My husband and I have reconciled and are planning a trip for next April! Can't wait. There will be another trip for you and your kids in the future too hopefully, and they'll have more fun with you.

 

[LindaR]

To the OP.....how old is your daughter?

Actually, it doesn't matter how old she is! I have been a single mom (dd is 20) for 18+ years. It's really secretly difficult for me on the rare occasions when my daughter spends time with her dad. I just keep my mouth shut and am happy that she is having fun. I understand. It's ok to feel the way you feel. They are true feelings. You will be ok, too.

Don't call. Don't text.

Visiting WDW with her dad will be a different experience than with you. Who knows, maybe she is bombarding him with...."Well, when MOM and I come here we do this.....and....." so he is probably having his own issues (being compared to you!)

 

[saratogadreamin09]

As long as your daughter is having fun then you should be happy she's having fun. And remember, you took her to Europe.

 

[Zuzu03]

Of course I'm delighted she's having fun and I'm very thankful that she and her dad have a good relationship, as I said earlier. I'm a teacher in a very economically depressed area and see some things that would make most people have nightmares (I spent years of sleepless nights worrying about these kids). A lot of kids don't have the opportunities that she and others do - so yes, she is a very lucky young lady to have a loving family. Selfish, wow, just because I miss her? Anyway, she texted me first a few hours ago and said it is 98 degrees! I wouldn't want to be there right now anyway in that heat!

 

[ols386]

I think what you are feeling is normal....I'm sure you miss her while she is gone also.

Just be thankful that she has a relationship with her Dad, and that he thinks enough of her to take her on a magical trip to WDW.

She will be back before you know it.

 

[Zuzu03]

I think it is GREAT he took her to wdw! instead of making it about your feelings think about how she would feel if he did not ever take her ANYWHERE...my ex does not even help support my son and has another child he will not take care of on the way!Their time together is NOT about your feelings...we have offered our APS to both of our exs to take the boys to wdw because my dh ex nor mine do ANYTHING with the kids...feel lucky NOT upset because he is not thinking of your feelings...he is doing what any good father would do thinking about his DAUGHTER.
Did you ask his feelings about taking her on vacation?

Wow, I feel bad that you're having difficulties with your ex! I didn't say that I am upset because he is not thinking of my feelings at all. Believe me, that's not what this is about! This is about me missing her and thinking fondly of the memories that she and I have there, I certainly do NOT want to take anything away from his time with her.

 

[ols386]

Of course I'm delighted she's having fun and I'm very thankful that she and her dad have a good relationship, as I said earlier. I'm a teacher in a very economically depressed area and see some things that would make most people have nightmares (I spent years of sleepless nights worrying about these kids). A lot of kids don't have the opportunities that she and others do - so yes, she is a very lucky young lady to have a loving family. Selfish, wow, just because I miss her? Anyway, she texted me first a few hours ago and said it is 98 degrees! I wouldn't want to be there right now anyway in that heat!

No, I don't think you are being selfish at all. Your feelings are real and true. Don't let others try to talk you in to feeling selfish or bad.

 

[Zuzu03]

No, I don't think you are being selfish at all. Your feelings are real and true. Don't let others try to talk you in to feeling selfish or bad.

Thank you!

 

[Pooh93]

No, I don't think you are being selfish at all. Your feelings are real and true. Don't let others try to talk you in to feeling selfish or bad.

Exactly! If my dd's were at WDW without me regardless if they were with an ex spouse, friend, grandparent etc, I'd be sitting on my hands too! I can guarantee you if it were reversed and I was to go there without them, they would be doing the same to me or dh! Our best family vacation memories are at WDW. I have often thought that if I ever travelled to Orlando for my job and got to go to one of the parks, I wouldn't be able to tell them or they'd flip!!!