Need some advice please!!

[ChasingLeslie]

We're taking the kids to Disney for the first time...it's our first "real" family trip. I've been planning this for a year, have a daily plan, ADRs, and FPs. DH and I both have family in Florida, so we're spending an extra week there after the parks. We are staying with BIL for a couple of nights and had told them our plans so they could take time off. We are excited to see their family.

So, BIL said months ago, maybe they would come up to WDW the last two days that we are there. Cool, sounded like a fun plan. Well, now they're going for our WHOLE trip. DH and I are kind of in shock and don't really know how to ask them about their expectations. While we don't mind spending a day or two together at the end of the trip, we don't want to spend the whole time together. We sort of feel like they've hijacked our trip (and have already asked us to babysit one night). We don't want to be ungrateful, especially because they are putting us up, but this has put a damper on our trip.

What do we do?!?

 

[Naomi Collison]

I would have the related individual talk to BIL and say "We would love to spend some time with you but we also are going to want to do some things with just us as a bonding experience." I would also say it is a family trip so we wont be spending time apart (sorry cant babysit) unless you want to trade off and have them babysit for you one evening in exchange for babysitting for them.

 

[tami82]

Are they staying at a Disney Resort and have they made any reservations such as dining? I think you really need to talk to them to know what their plans are and then tell them you already have a schedule and dining plans made. It may be very difficult to include them at this point since reservations are made far in advance. Are they aware of that? As far as babysitting I'm surprised they would even have the nerve to do that on your vacation time. I wouldn't expect someone to babysit my kids. That may work though if they do the same for you so you can have a date night.

 

[happymommy]

I would agree to have the related individual speak to them, and to say you cannot babysit.

I agree that it won't be the same if they join you. Been there, done that. Never again.

I'd stay in a value resort over staying with family, if that would make things easier!

 

[Shanti]

We're taking the kids to Disney for the first time...it's our first "real" family trip. I've been planning this for a year, have a daily plan, ADRs, and FPs. DH and I both have family in Florida, so we're spending an extra week there after the parks. We are staying with BIL for a couple of nights and had told them our plans so they could take time off. We are excited to see their family.

So, BIL said months ago, maybe they would come up to WDW the last two days that we are there. Cool, sounded like a fun plan. Well, now they're going for our WHOLE trip. DH and I are kind of in shock and don't really know how to ask them about their expectations. While we don't mind spending a day or two together at the end of the trip, we don't want to spend the whole time together. We sort of feel like they've hijacked our trip (and have already asked us to babysit one night). We don't want to be ungrateful, especially because they are putting us up, but this has put a damper on our trip.

What do we do?!?

1. Tell them that you won't be able to babysit during the WDW portion of your trip.
2. Make it clear that you already have firm plans set for just you & the kids during most of the WDW days, though you'd be happy to spend 1 of those days with them as a group (and you should honor that & really do so- I'm sure that just 1 day as a big group will be fun for the family- make it a day later in the trip).
3. Say that you will be happy to babysit on one of the non-WDW nights that you will be there.
4. Say all of this graciously.

If you get pushback, you should pony up for a hotel for the nights you were going to stay with BIL, to avoid having your trip ruined.

 

[Ndusmama]

Do they know this is your first "real" family vacation together? I agree with everyone else about them not being able to do rides and reservations with you. You should not compromise your plans (only for the fact that it is your vacation and you have planning it for months). They may only have the expectation of wanting to see you for a few extra days. As for babysitting I am on a couple different fronts. If you don't mind babysitting on a non-disney night then why not. If you are having a hotel night break and just hanging out by the pool, whats an extra child swimming (assuming you have good parenting skills and can watch an extra child in the pool without compromising your children's safety). Last thought.... um no its your vacation and you spent all this money getting to disney, its your vacation and you didn't invite friends or family along, and well that is kind of rude to ask without saying hey we will watch your kids one night. You might want to consider a hotel room. If you feel like it might cause tension with BIL maybe tell him that you want to sleep in or have some space.

 

[cjbcam]

We have decided to "kind of" go with friends in November. My friend is very clingy. As we have been planning I just right out told her we will do 2 ADRs with them and swimming in the afternoon with them but other than that we will be doing our own thing.
I find it easier to just come out and say what you feel rather than let things ruin your trip. Then they know what to expect. It will let them plan accordingly.

 

[ChasingLeslie]

Thanks everyone!

DH talked to BIL, and they are totally flying by the seat of their pants. We all agreed that we want to catch up, but DH nicely explained that we have numerous ADRs and FPs and that the mornings (especially) are already very scheduled.

The babysitting thing is still in the air. The problem is that they got free tickets to a show, so it's not like they just want to duck out for a private dinner for an hour or two. While we are not unwilling to help, the logistics of us babysitting overnight or them waking us up in the middle of the night are big thumbs down for me.

 

[happymommy]

I would never, ever ask anyone on vacation or visiting and staying with me to babysit for me. I mean, how much is a babysitter anyway?

I'd skip out on staying at their place if I could, and just visit with them. They don't need to know all your plans. I learned that after 23 years of marriage!