Need quick Medical/Hospital advice - UPDATE post #8

[LoraJ]

Feeling overwhelemed at the momment and not thinking clear.

BF's dad has colon cancer. He was diagnosed in march and has since lost 55 pounds and now weighs around 95 pounds. This morning he informed us he can no longer walk. His chest has also been very congested.

I want to take him to the Emergency room. he has a far walk from his apartment to where my car would be. Is it possible to get some kind of ambulance? We want to take him to a specific hospital and not the local one. Do medical stores rent wheelchairs without prescriptions?

 

[luvwinnie]

If he suddenly cannot walk I would call an ambulance. He could have pneumonia. Hugs to you all.

 

[bananiem]

Or congestive heart failure.
Call an ambulance.

 

[floridafam]

I agree. Call an ambulance. Can't you request they take you to a certain hospital?

Please keep us posted

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Have you seen him? I know this is the dad that has no insurance.
He does sound bad. Not being able to walk is a scary thing.

Have you been able to get him a Social Worker or some Govn't help?

 

[floridafam]

I wasn't aware that he didn't have insurance.

I would never let that get in the way if he needs an ambulance.

BUT...if you can get over there and get him to the hospital quickly then I would do so.

Is there someone you know that can carry him to the car?

 

[Deb in IA]

Ambulances are required to transport to the nearest hospital, unless that hospital is full. After the patient is stabilized, they can be transferred to another facility.

 

[LoraJ]

I just want to scream.

He refused to go to the hospital. He says we are exaggerating his condition and then yelled at us for being dissapointed that we couldn't dump him into the emergency room. And he was making up all these excuses that things weren't as bad as they seem and threatening not to tell us how he feels anymore. And then he was yelling at us for taking off from work.

We tried to reason with him but that didn't work. My boyfriend put his foot down but his dad said he still makes the decisions on what happens to him. So, there's nothing we can do.

I spent about 30 minutes crying from frustration in the hallway.

We made an appointment for him to see his doctor but she can't see him until Tuesday. That's the best we could do. He only wants to see her. Which sucks because she is associated with the crappy hospital. We kept trying to convince him that going to the emergency room at the good hospital would get him associated with better care.

He just doesn't have his priorites straight right now. We're going to try and get a visiting nurse. But I don't even know how he'd answer the door for them.

He also kept trying to deny that he could no longer walk, yet he had my BF change his colostamy bag while he was in bed instead of going to the bathroom like he normally does.

Thanks for all of the advice. We ended up renting a wheelchair.

I'm emotionally spent right now and going to go take a nap.

 

[LoraJ]

Have you seen him? I know this is the dad that has no insurance.
He does sound bad. Not being able to walk is a scary thing.

Have you been able to get him a Social Worker or some Govn't help?

He will be able to get disability, but not until his doctor sens a medical report. Right now she has not been returning our calls, or their calls and the people in the office haven't been much help. They just keep sending me to her voicemail, which is full.

He was getting charity care, but we found out yesterday it was only for a limited number of days. We'll have to apply again to get it for a year.

It's such a nightmare.

 

[noodles]

 

[minkydog]

I just want to scream.

He refused to go to the hospital. He says we are exaggerating his condition and then yelled at us for being dissapointed that we couldn't dump him into the emergency room. And he was making up all these excuses that things weren't as bad as they seem and threatening not to tell us how he feels anymore. And then he was yelling at us for taking off from work.

We tried to reason with him but that didn't work. My boyfriend put his foot down but his dad said he still makes the decisions on what happens to him. So, there's nothing we can do.

I spent about 30 minutes crying from frustration in the hallway.

We made an appointment for him to see his doctor but she can't see him until Tuesday. That's the best we could do. He only wants to see her. Which sucks because she is associated with the crappy hospital. We kept trying to convince him that going to the emergency room at the good hospital would get him associated with better care.

He just doesn't have his priorites straight right now. We're going to try and get a visiting nurse. But I don't even know how he'd answer the door for them.


Thanks for all of the advice. We ended up renting a wheelchair.

He's scared. He's not out of his mind, he knows exactly how bad it is. He doesn't want to lose control and you can't make him. I know how frustrated you are--I went through this with my dad when he had cancer. All you can do, until he is ready, if make him comfortable and not demand he do things your way. There will come a point at which he will have to give up control, but today is not that day.

Fathers can be so, so frustrating

 

[golfgal]

Did you explain the situation to the dr when you called for the appointment? I really find it hard to believe that she would make him wait a week with his symptoms. If he weights 95 lbs then have your boyfriend pick him up, carry him to the car and take him to the dr.

If he has pneumonia or congestive heart failure the diminished oxygen to his brain can make it so he doesn't think rationally. I think you just need to take him and not give him a choice.

 

[Disney Doll]

He's scared. He's not out of his mind, he knows exactly how bad it is. He doesn't want to lose control and you can't make him. I know how frustrated you are--I went through this with my dad when he had cancer. All you can do, until he is ready, if make him comfortable and not demand he do things your way. There will come a point at which he will have to give up control, but today is not that day.

Fathers can be so, so frustrating

You are very wise.