Need Opinion - Do you think this is cheating

[Explodo]

My definition of cheating is anything that you wouldn't do in front of your significant other.

Simple and to the point.

I agree.

 

[Disneychix]

IMHO, it's cheating and it seems like the guy is really making out in the end. He's stringing along this lady who's 300 miles away and making all sorts of promises as to "when he's single" but the point is he's NOT single and he doesn't appear to be breaking things off with his GF. He's getting everything and the girls will end up broken hearted.

 

[Buckalew11]

But your original scenerio doesn't involved married, engaged or even seriously committed couples, so I'm still confused as to what constitutes "cheating".

I agree, a married person sexting with another person on a continued basis can be construed as emotionally cheating, even if physical cheating isn't involved. However...just because your BFF's husband states he does NOT consider sexting as cheating is no evidence that he would actually engage in physical or emotional cheating (unless you have definite proof?).

Immature guys sometimes throw comments like that around...makes 'em feel like studs.

(Why do I feel there is more to this story?)

IMHO, if he cheats on a girl he calls his GF or one who he regularly dates, red flags should be going up for the GF because men (or people) who cheat, tend to repeat.

What he is doing is wronging both of these girls. Of course, anyone who sexts is asking for deep trouble and heartache because photos will turn up it the oddest places & if it is just words then it could still turn up in the worst place that could cause a lot of embarrassment and heartache along the way.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I am not sure if I would consider the guy a seriously (i.e. on the track to marriage) committed relationship, but from what I understand I would consider it a committed relationship.

And yes there is A LOT more to the story

Seems like that would expand/impact the cheating and boundary issues. How bad is it?

 

[kwelch10377]

Seems like that would expand/impact the cheating and boundary issues. How bad is it?

There is about a 10 year history between the 2 and for one reason or another they can't seem to get on the same page at the same as far as starting a relationship. They use to work together and she told him that she liked him, but nothing came of it. They remained friends and then after she moved away and they somewhat reconnected and starting talking again almost everyday he admitted to her that he liked her. She had some personal things going on that she didn't feel it was fair to start something with him and after awhile the kinda lost touch and then last April reconnected again. He has told her that right now the only reason they aren't in a relationship is bc she living 300 miles away and he is afraid to start something long distance right now, bc he is so focused on his business and competing (he owns a martial arts school) and he is saving up for a house and currently living with his parents. I am interested to see what happens when he buys a house and moves out. Her family and friends still live near him so she does go there to see them quite a bit already.

I really don't know much about his current relationship with the 21 yo other than she is a junior in college and I think he may have dated her and then they broke it off last spring or summer and got back together in the fall.

 

[OceanAnnie]

There is about a 10 year history between the 2 and for one reason or another they can't seem to get on the same page at the same as far as starting a relationship. They use to work together and she told him that she liked him, but nothing came of it. They remained friends and then after she moved away and they somewhat reconnected and starting talking again almost everyday he admitted to her that he liked her. She had some personal things going on that she didn't feel it was fair to start something with him and after awhile the kinda lost touch and then last April reconnected again. He has told her that right now the only reason they aren't in a relationship is bc she living 300 miles away and he is afraid to start something long distance right now, bc he is so focused on his business and competing (he owns a martial arts school) and he is saving up for a house and currently living with his parents. I am interested to see what happens when he buys a house and moves out. Her family and friends still live near him so she does go there to see them quite a bit already.

I really don't know much about his current relationship with the 21 yo other than she is a junior in college and I think he may have dated her and then they broke it off last spring or summer and got back together in the fall.

Ten years is a long time to be a non-starter.

 

[kwelch10377]

Ten years is a long time to be a non-starter.

I will add though that there have been a few 1-2 year timeframes in the 10 years where they didn't talk bc they just lost touch for no other reason than life got busy.

It doesn't help that they both aren't exactly forth coming with their feelings, which has caused a lot of the issues as to why they haven't gotten together.

 

[denisem]

I really don't know much about his current relationship with the 21 yo other than she is a junior in college and I think he may have dated her and then they broke it off last spring or summer and got back together in the fall.

I guess my point is: we don't know if the guy & the 21 y.o. have an exclusive relationship. She may be dating others, too. Forgive me, I'm old, but I remember dating multiple guys at the same time at that age. Maybe after they broke up, Ms. 21 knows Mr. 30 is noncommital, so she has fun with him while keeping her options open. Which is why I can't judge that she's being cheated upon.

I feel sorry for the 300-mile-away sexting woman who's been waiting for this yahoo for 10 yrs. Even if the "timing was off", it appears the cards are on the table NOW and if Mr. 30 were truly interested, they could get together and work on getting a house TOGETHER.

But what do I know.

 

[shortbun]

I don't think it's cheating. neither of them are married or engaged so they are free to flirt or "sext" all they want. I flirt all the time but never too much.

I agree. If one or both of them were in a committed relationship, it would be cheating.

 

[disykat]

I think many of us disagree with what a relationship or even a committed relationship is. IMO, if you are calling someone your boyfriend/girlfriend that means you HAVE committed not to see other people.

I can't imagine thinking it's okay to "sext" other people and or even have an ongoing flirtatous relationship until the day you get engaged!

 

[cm8]

I think that would be considered cheating, and if she did the same to him, I am sure that he would leave her., Funny how men feel that they can go and have all the fun and do those kinds of things to their wives, girlfriends, and then feel "hurt and betrayed" when it happens to them. I'm with the poster that stated he would be single once I found out.

 

[Disney Doll]

If the guy in this scenario has told his girlfriend that they are exclusive, then it is cheating.

If the guy and the girlfriend are non exclusive, then it is not cheating.