need neighbor advice - kind of long

[CEDmom]

We moved into a new development in early June. Our neighbors have a
DD-5 1/2 and our DD is 6 1/2. At first the girls played pretty nicely together and the mom and I started getting friendly. However in the last few weeks the girls have been like oil and water after playing for a while.

Now my DD isn't an angel and can have a bit of an attitude but she's also a sensitive child and doesn't hit, push or throw things. Our neighbor can be very sweet until she doesn't get her way and then she can get physical and loud. She's thrown mulch at my DD, pushed her while she was on her bike and thrown rocks at another child just to name a few things.

The straw that broke things was when my DD said something nasty because frankly she was fed up. Before I knew it the mom was at our door saying the girls couldn't play any more and that her DD would never say anything so mean. For what it's worth DD told this little girl she was her worst nightmare and she liked all the other neighbors but her. Granted not nice and I dealt with DD but this mom went on and on like her DD had no part in any of this.

I explained that my DD is very sensitive and while things may have happened days before she was still upset by them and just couldn't help herself.

It's been 3 days and I don't know what I should do. Frankly I don't care whether the girls are friends or not but for better or worse we're neighbors and I'd like to get past this. I'm tempted to just knock or their door and say this. What do you think or do you have any other ideas. Thanks.

 

[mytwotinks]

That's about the age my oldest dd was when I realized how blind most mom's are to their own children's behavior. I had a mom (who I had made friends with) watch out window while our first graders were at recess and then tattle about who my dd was playing with. This same mom also asked me if "Riley is always so bossy?" once when we were with the girls and they were playing and all my dd had done was tell her daughter no about something that the other girl was being bossy about! Thankfully they moved away! Maybe you'll get lucky like I did!!!

 

[Sherri]

I think the other Mom went a little overboard and was a bit dramatic in her reaction. I would have thought that by now she would have calmed down and try and make peace. Your daughter used strong words to express herself, shes a child, a little girl and you think the other Mom would see that. I hate to tell you this because I kind of think the other Mom was in the wrong for the way she handled the whole situation, but at this point you may have to go over there and break the ice.

 

[Kallison]

Get used to it, nobody ever thinks their own kid does anything wrong. I had a neighbor who always said she believe in "letting them work it out on their own", that is because her kids were the biggest friggin bullies in the neighborhood. She is a bully herself, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree as they say.

 

[CEDmom]

Thanks for your advice. I do think the mom overreacted but she's very pregnant so I'm trying to cut her some slack. I think I will try to go over tomorrow and talk to her a bit. I won't encourage the girls to play but if it happens it happens. I'll just be supervising more.

 

[Disney Doll]

And I'd just let the whole thing lie.

I am of the opinion that your neighbors don't have to be your best friends...they just have to not bug you.

 

[Pam]

And I'd just let the whole thing lie.

I am of the opinion that your neighbors don't have to be your best friends...they just have to not bug you.

I agree.

 

[Pop Daddy]

didnt read it to long, but my advice is never look your neghbors in the eyes, they may want to talk , if they try to talk, I just tell them to e-mail me

 

[FlyingBelle]

A little OT, but along the same lines...

We live in a cul-de-sac and I'd say about half the neighbors have very young kids (under 4). We live at the very end of the cul-de-sac, so we have to drive past everyone's house.

For some reason - they think our "street" is an extention of their driveways and there is constantly very young children playing in the street. Some as young as 1-1/2 years old!

Ours isn't a typical cul-de-sac, as we're more of a circle drive off of the main street. Still... it's just not safe!

Our other pet-pieve is that the neighbors all like to hang-out in their garages. I'm not talking about looking at cars and such... they have tables and chairs set up in there and some have even decorated with neon signs and SCREENS! Every weekend people are having garage parties.

We're trying to sell our home - but we've gotten complaints from realtors that it looks a little "hillbilly-ish"

These people have backyards and patios... why don't they use them?

What do we do?????

 

[Mermaid02]

Just wait it out- I guarantee that eventually the 2 kids will forget all about it and be friends again. Kids are like that. Maybe the little girl is overwhelmed at the thought of the new baby and that is why she has been bratty.

 

[aprilgail2]

Just wait it out, maybe it will get better. When I was 5 I threw sand in my neighbors sons hair, he was 8....well seh came over cursing my mother and what a brat I was..they lived across from us until she died a year ago and up to that time it was never any better...I am happy she is not there anymore (though I wish it was through moving and not dying), finally the neighborhood is at peace. We are not the only one she had trouble with, it was many people and she is the only one that we had trouble with so it wasn't us LOL...

 

[Hannathy]

I would wait it out because frankly what your DD did wasn't very nice either! Girls that age are VERY sensitive about being liked sometimes as much as when they are teens. This child is probably worried about not being liked as much at home after the new wonderful baby arrives and your DD really hit a nerve.

Kids will eventually get over it but not if parents become involved. Plus if you make a big deal of this you and the neighbor will always remeber it long after the kids do.

I would just lay low and see if they start playing again being next door it's not like anything has to be arranged, and when the baby arrives gush over it and she will have probably forgotten about it with everything elsegoing on ( plus sleep deprivation!)

 

[tikilyn]

A little OT, but along the same lines...

We live in a cul-de-sac and I'd say about half the neighbors have very young kids (under 4). We live at the very end of the cul-de-sac, so we have to drive past everyone's house.

For some reason - they think our "street" is an extention of their driveways and there is constantly very young children playing in the street. Some as young as 1-1/2 years old!

Ours isn't a typical cul-de-sac, as we're more of a circle drive off of the main street. Still... it's just not safe!

Our other pet-pieve is that the neighbors all like to hang-out in their garages. I'm not talking about looking at cars and such... they have tables and chairs set up in there and some have even decorated with neon signs and SCREENS! Every weekend people are having garage parties.

We're trying to sell our home - but we've gotten complaints from realtors that it looks a little "hillbilly-ish"

These people have backyards and patios... why don't they use them?

What do we do?????

OMG I just busted out laughing at what you said When we moved to south Texas I was like WTH people are having parties in there garages!! Yep they back the cars out of their drive ways and park in the street so the can bbq and dance in the driveway and the table and chairs are in the garage. How weird.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

What do we do?????

Sell in the winter...