Need Ideas please...

[3boymthr]

Long story...

My DGF - age 93 - lives with my cousin - who graciously took him in 14 years ago when he was attacked by intruders - twice - inside his subsidized elderly housing apartment in southern Florida. Everyone else in the family lives in New England and DGF refused to move back north (too cold). My cousin is a 50 something bachelor who lives in a 2 bedroom trailer in a remote hilly area outside of San Antonio, TX - the population of the town is less than 500. At the time DGF was not in the best health (two heart attacks under his belt) but everyone agreed it was a good move since it would be so much safer and my cousin was home most days to keep an eye on him. Since my DGF went to live with my cousin DGF has always remained active and walked alot around town until he was "attacked" by a neighbors overeager/extra exuberant dog and ended up with broken hip. He recovered well from the broken hip (can walk independently) but has not been as active - can't go walking outdoors without a companion - and they've taken away his driver's license. A couple of years ago my cousin changed jobs and he has a new girlfriend and now is not home all the time. A few times recently my cousin has gotten home from work and found my DGF in bed for the night - at 5:00 We are all concerned that DGF is getting depressed by his limited mobility and limited interaction with the outside world. He cannot hear well enough to talk on the phone.

Aside from my cousin the rest of the family all lives over 1,000 miles away. He has a TV but can only spend just so much time watching. We are all planning on sending more letters and photos but can only find just so much to write about - he does not respond to letters just reads them. Does anyone have any ideas of things that can be done long distance to keep him active and interested in life?

 

[Goofy05]

Does he enjoy gardening? My GF is 101 and less active than usual, yet still needs to feel useful. He likes to trim the bushes, water plants, etc. Maybe even a window herb garden would give him something to do? Does he like watching old tv shows or movies? Maybe you could send some dvd's of old movies he liked when he was younger? Mine always liked westerns...heh.

 

[LadyZolt]

I know he's older, but I'd use technology here. Set him up with a web cam and let him face-to-face talk to relatives. Get him a Wii and he can bowl, or play other sports or games that he enjoys. Set him up online and let him tutor kids after school, or join a board (like this one) where he can give advice or learn something. Let him take an online course. Ask him what he'd like to do if he could do anything and see what he says, then try to find something that is close to what he wants. Heck, set him up on EHarmony and maybe he can meet a lovely lady friend. Hope he finds plenty to do and enjoys his golden years!

-Dorothy (LadyZolt)

 

[java]

in our state there is a free shuittle service to take the seniors to a kind of "day care" It's a nice place where they can all hang out(kind of like teenagers) They organize activities have shows ect. And we are rural.

First step might be to contact the local hospital social worker-(near him) and ask for available services. They will be very helpful.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

Like the above poster said. Contact the local Department on Aging. There may be an adult daycare or senior center he could attend to interact with people. Or maybe he needs to be in an assisted living facility (not nursing home) for more contact with people and assistance.

 

[3boymthr]

Thanks for the ideas guys.

I like the idea of a window box herb garden and investigating if there is an elderly program in the area. I hope there is but I'm not holding my breath they do live in a very small town about 1 hour outside the city. They don't even live in a trailer park but on a lot just outside of the town limits.

Assisted living is out DM says they don't offer it where he live and he refuses to live anywhere else. DGF pays a portion of the electric and water (at his own insistence, my cousin doesn't need the money - would have moved into a house - says he has enough set aside to pay for a house in cash - but DGF is comfortable where they are and doesn't want to move) and for his own food but he has a very limited income (social security only) as he lost most of his money with the end of his second marriage. I think he lives on less than $600/mo.