Need homework help, please!

[quiltymom]

I hope that I can explain this right! I know it's long, so please bear with me.

My DS9 has Aspergers (very high end of spectrum) & ADHD. As a bit of background, he has very low social skills and extremely high intelligence, which has not make school a very easy experience for him. He's been mainstreamed since kindergarten and is now in 4th grade. Since his behavior has become much better he was placed in the GT program this year.

Up until now he has basically breezed through his program of studies and has not been challenged. That, and the double whammy of being in 4th grade where the educational focus changes and the extra and challenging coursework from the GT program, he's really struggling with his homework. Herein lies the problem. He just doesn't want to do it, doesn't want to work at it, so he takes 5 times longer than necessary to complete any assignment. He CAN do it, but he just wants the easy way back.

His medication has worn off by the time he comes home from school. We, along with his neurologist, have agreed to not give him more meds just for after school.

We've tried many tactics, but none have really jelled. Other than setting a timer to tell him how long he has to work on an assignment, sitting with him at the table to make sure he doesn't get off track (which can't always be done), basically holding his hand to get through it, we need help!

So, have any of you suggestions, hints, tips, anything, so we can work with him on this? We want him to enjoy learning, not be stressed about the work, and to be motivated to do it on his own with just minimal oversight on our part.

Anything will be most appreciated! Thanks in advance.

 

[WildGrits]

I wish I had an answer for you. My DD is a year ahead of your son with HFA. We went through this for years with her and nothing we did seemed to make a difference.

It is so hard when no reward or removal of anything is important enough to them to get them moving.

I tried sitting with her too but found that to be a joke because she would just play me with her, I'm stupid and any other games she could think up. Her and school had been nothing but years of me pulling out my hair until we moved her to a middle school that is doing better at holding her accountable for her business.

GOOD LUCK!!!!

 

[Maraena]

You might try breaking it down into smaller parts. The concepts might not be overwhelming him but the sheer number of items to complete could be. For example, if there are 4 story problems with multiple steps, you might have him talk through the steps he'd take to solve them first (or make a nice quick guide on another sheet of paper). Have him do 1-2 problems using the steps, then have him take a quick break. Perhaps reinforcing him initially for completing the steps would be helpful.

Definitely looking forward to seeing some other ideas too!

 

[quiltymom]

Maraena,

That sounds good. I was realizing last night that he seems to be forgetting some of the basic steps that he needs to, like how to do basic math, when looking at the problem. It's embarassing to say, but I must admit that he's already starting to eclipse my math knowledge (I let DH take over there! ). But I can see by helping him to take a step back and get an overview would solve a lot of the issues.

The other part is that I think he is trying to think/try too hard rather than recalling what he has learned. He just gets too tense. He either does real well or real bad on exams - nothing inbetween.

DH & I don't want to hover just because we want him to learn to succeed and to even fail, if necessary. It's better to let him fail with something in 4th grade than when he eventually is in college.

I'll give this a try and will report back to see how it works.

And WildGrits, it is frustrating when no reward or removal of priviledges gets any sort of response. That's why I figured we needed to try a different tatic.

Thanks for the !

 

[pcparamedics01]

You have basically described my DS 4th grade with ASD to a tee. I am thinking the same thing to increase meds. He is on concerta 36 mg. Well what I do is make a list of his homework. He gets to check it off. At the end of all assignments write stop. Then he knows he is finishes. It works!!!!

 

[mechurchlady]

I have poor socialization skills and tend to shut down. I can spend hours doing something I love but there are times I cannot do certain things which really are not unpleasant like laundry, cleaning and hygiene. Nothing will change me it is just that I cannot.

What works for me is knowing how to do the task, no pressure, smaller tasks, and satisfaction in doing the job. I got bored in school as I was very bright and zipped through the lessons. For me the hard part was the tedium of doing the problems. For me there is nothing that will get me going. I have a jury duty thing to mail in and I just could not get to it. Not jail or chocolate ice cream gets me to budge. I am not lazy despite what people think. It is just bad wiring and you should see me when I do get going on some task like dishes.

My mother shuts down at a lot of stuff even eating out. My last two trips were last minute surprises so she had no option but to go. I wish you luck and you will need lots of patients and especially trial and error.

 

[robin09]

I don't know how much I can help, as I'm a year behind, with DD in 3rd grade but here goes... DD9 is also Aspergers, adhd, ocd and on meds, extremely bright. Punishments do not work for her. She isn't mainstreamed all day, but in specials and Math class. HOmework has been a big problem with her, as her fine motor skills are still lacking, and writing can be difficult for her. What I do is to copy her homework sheets and let her tell me the answers and show me how to work them out. Her verbal skills are huge. I write the answers on the copy sheet and then I let her copy it over to her homework sheet? ROFL... I just read my answer and I hope it makes sense... copy sheet, write, copy the copy sheet!

Things here also go very hectic, and the more pressure that is given, the less gets done. We try very hard to keep things here calm with little stresses. I too am not willing to give more meds to get this done, I'm dislike giving so much medication to begin with.

I hope that I can explain this right! I know it's long, so please bear with me.

My DS9 has Aspergers (very high end of spectrum) & ADHD. As a bit of background, he has very low social skills and extremely high intelligence, which has not make school a very easy experience for him. He's been mainstreamed since kindergarten and is now in 4th grade. Since his behavior has become much better he was placed in the GT program this year.

Up until now he has basically breezed through his program of studies and has not been challenged. That, and the double whammy of being in 4th grade where the educational focus changes and the extra and challenging coursework from the GT program, he's really struggling with his homework. Herein lies the problem. He just doesn't want to do it, doesn't want to work at it, so he takes 5 times longer than necessary to complete any assignment. He CAN do it, but he just wants the easy way back.

His medication has worn off by the time he comes home from school. We, along with his neurologist, have agreed to not give him more meds just for after school.

We've tried many tactics, but none have really jelled. Other than setting a timer to tell him how long he has to work on an assignment, sitting with him at the table to make sure he doesn't get off track (which can't always be done), basically holding his hand to get through it, we need help!

So, have any of you suggestions, hints, tips, anything, so we can work with him on this? We want him to enjoy learning, not be stressed about the work, and to be motivated to do it on his own with just minimal oversight on our part.

Anything will be most appreciated! Thanks in advance.

 

[tmatthews]

as a spec.ed teacher I automatically think of modifications.....is it possible to reduce the amt of hw he/she is getting? For example in math, he only has to do odds? Also, to stop the overwhelming behaviors at home a lot of times students are in a homework club which occurs after school w/ a teacher. It could alleviate some stresses at home. OR maybe a study skills class (resource center pull out) during school hours where hw can be done???? Just some thoughts.....can you talk to your child study team director and see what they have to offer? I know you want to keep your child mainstreamed I am sure but maybe some help during school can alleviate frustrations at home?

 

[quiltymom]

Thanks again for all of your suggestions. DS is on a 504 plan (he didn't qualify for a IEP since his grades were too good ) and the school will make any accomodations that are necessary. (I adore his school, BTW.) I have been planning on having a conference with his teacher, and maybe having his school counselor there will be a good idea.

He's been so used to flying under (over?) the radar up until now, literally acing the home- and schoolwork in past that I think he's just not wanting to have to "work" at his work. Make sense? Up until this year he actually enjoyed doing homework, but then it only took 1/2 hour to complete.

The school does have a study hall time during recess for the students who have not completed their homework to get it finished, so maybe he can stop in there to get some assistance. I'm loathe to have him miss recess since he really needs the run around time. I've not heard about a homework club, but knowing the demographics of the school they should have some type of study skills resource available.

This is also the first year we haven't had him in social skills group counseling, which also helped him deal with school issues. After 3 years it just was not being as effective, but he did grow leaps and bounds from his time there.

Robin9, your homework copying thing did make sense! It is kind of what we do for him, but we haven't gone as far. Maybe if we do something like that with him for a while he'll get a better idea of how to break things down, taking them in sections, etc. (We've finally gotten him to use scratch paper because he doodles up his homework papers so badly you can hardly see the questions.) I'm willing to try anything right now!

DS also has poor fine motor skills and he hates to write. But his 3rd grade teacher realized he liked to do comic book drawings, so she had him do that for his writing assignments - along with the writing, too. After a few months we started phasing out the drawings until he was writing without them. It happened as a pure lark, but it worked. It's funny how kid's minds work.

So, now that you know all about DS ... Thanks again for all of your input and insight. It has been a great help.

 

[mechurchlady]

He's been so used to flying under (over?) the radar up until now, literally acing the home- and schoolwork in past that I think he's just not wanting to have to "work" at his work. Make sense? Up until this year he actually enjoyed doing homework, but then it only took 1/2 hour to complete.

Normal kids being lazy will eventually hit a point where the thing they are avoiding is not as bad as the punishment. I had a game I loved online but we had to do more work and slowly the stress of keeping up with the old load and the new stuff built to where I shut down and left the game.

As kids grow up there is more awareness of what is around them and moe stress. It is very likely that your kid is slowly increasing the amount of stress he is receiving. He does not tell you then one day he is drowning in stress.