need help!

[linnettevl]

Last year we went to disney and had the best of time , so this year I was making plans to go to disney again when my sister called me and told me that she is coming to stay with us for the summer, This is killing me because I don't know what to do I have not seen my sister and her family in over 6 years and the last time she came I paid for her trip and I know that she is expecting me to do the same again, but if I do it , then I will not have enough money for my trip I don't want her to know that we are planning for disney because I know that she would want to tag along and I would have to pay for her and her family. My husband keep asking me every day about the trip(he needs to put in his request for vacations) and I don't know what to tell him about my sister. I am getting bad headaches everyday, the stress is killing me.What to do? Should I call my sister I tell her a lie and go to disney or stay home this year and spent time with my sister and her kids? What to tell my husband!!!!!ahhhhhhhhhh Any advice ?

 

[Shells9]

Do the two events have to overlap?
Is she coming for the entire summer?

That would be first thing I would sort out.

Secondly, if someone is coming to stay with me for the whole summer, I would hope they would willingly contribute to at least the cost of food. I could not imagine anyone expecting me to host them all summer, and then foot the bill for them to accompany me on my own vacation!

I would try to go to Disney at a time she was not there. If she were there, I would let her know as far in advance as I could so she could save some money. And if she could not go, I'd let her house sit while I did. She has got to understand that you cannot stop your life for an entire summer while she comes to visit!

That's just my opinion, though -- your family may be totally different.

 

[Desnik]

You might get more responses to this over at the community board. Try posting this question there. Alot more people there and we are always ready to help with advice.
http://www.disboards.com/forumdisplay.php?forumid=33

I would just be honest with her. After all, she is your sister. I can't understand how she would think it is OK to not see you for 6yrs. and then want to stay the whole summer and not pay for anything!!
You really need to set things straight with her. Tell her you are not going to be takin advantage of and it is not convienent for you to have her and her family over for the summer. It is your house, this affects your family. You have to put yourself and them first! Be strong and stand up to her! If you don't she'll just continue to think her behavior is acceptable, and it isn't. There is no way I would pay for her to tag along on my vacation!

 

[linnettevl]

Thank you all so much, sometime you do need for somebody to open your eyes... I was feeling so guilty just thinking what kind of sister I was if I will tell my sister that It was unfair to always provide her with money every time she plans a trip( She is my younger sister) and yes.... she spent 3 months with me 6yrs ago and did not paid for anything including food. I do think that we will go to Disney after all ...I just have to work with this guilty feeling

 

[fredms]

I don't think you should have any guilty feelings to work out.

When you get married your family (ie husband and children) become your #1 priority. That being said, its important you spend quality time together as a family - and what's better then Disney.

For your sister to come for three months and offer no compensation is an unfair predicament for her to put you in. I could never see myself imposing on my sister (and we are best friends) like that.

Go with your family to Disney and have a great trip and then have your sister for a little while. See, you can have your cake and eat it too.

Good luck.

 

[HappyMommy2]

You sound like a very sweet and unselfish big sister, but fredms is right--your DH and kids come first now. You were very generous to pay for your sister's last Disney trip (not to mention 3 months' room and board in your home!), but I certainly don't think you should feel guilty AT ALL about not paying for her family's trip this year. I don't think it will be too hard to come up with a polite and caring (and truthful) way of telling her you're not going to be able to pay this year; you just need to be sure to tell her immediately so she can plan accordingly.

Hope it all works out well!

 

[stacy6552]

Plan your trip. Dont take your sister into account in your plans.

Once that is set, tell her the dates so she can work around them.

Thats how it should work. IF she mentions comming to WDW with you, ash if shes sure SHE can afford it.

 

[MELSMICE]

Tell your sister you have already made plans this summer for your DH & children. Tell her if she would like to come visit before or after your family vacation she is more than welcome to.

Also, don't let her continue to take advantage of you. Tell her in no uncertain terms that while you would love to be able to, you can no longer afford to pay her way while she is visiting.

Think about it - if someone was willing to pay for me all the time & never said anything I would think that they didn't mind either. You need to take care of this sooner than later.