Need help with wording

[Pooh Crew]

So sorry for the OT, but I really need some creative suggestions. My triplets will be seven years old this month. They want a joint birthday party at a local skating rink. They also want to donate their gifts to a charity toy drive for needy children. I need help with the wording of the b'day invitations. I KNOW that one should not mention gifts on the invitations (my southern soul is crying over this, but I'll just stop wearing white two weeks before Labor Day next year as a penance, OK? ), but I feel that I should tell these friends in advance of the party. I would love something funny and creative instead of "if you choose to bring a gift, it will be donated to a needy child". Help! I'm trying to teach them the pleasure of giving, but the wording is killing me. I've put it off and tomorrow the invitations must go out. Dis-friends, please give me something that will not guarantee me a place in the Party Invitation Hall of Shame.

 

[DisneyfamilyinMI]

Hey! Here's something I came up with off the top of my head...hope it helps!

We're having a party!
It's for all three of us.
Although birthdays are special,
we won't make a fuss.

If you choose to celebrate
our birthday with a gift,
we would like you know
in advance, so you aren't miffed.

Your gift will be given
to a less fortunate girl or boy
so that more kids in this world
can benefit from our birthday joy.

---Stephanie

 

[MariDisney]

Hmmmmm...I'm hesitating in reponding, but I haven't put my foot in my mouth for awhile, so I'll go ahead anyway. I applaud your kids' community mindedness! There should certainly be more of that in this world. That being said, I will always think it incredibly tacky to mention gifts in an invitation (registery cards still give me the willies). I'm not sure how I would feel about an invitation that is essentially saying "give me something so I can give it away" (as noble as the giving away is). To me, gifts are given to celebrate the birthday child. I know my DD is excited to pick out just the perfect thing for a friend...and I am too when I am buying a gift for someone. I'm not sure I like the "forced charity" idea. I don't know (am I going to be flamed?). I DO think that once the gifts are received and the givers appropriately thanked then your little ones can do whatever they like with them, including (and especially) give them to those less fortunate.

Yes, I know, you didn't actually ask for an opinion on whether it's a good idea or not. If you are going to do it, maybe include an enclosure that says something simple like "in leiu of gifts for Huey, Dewy, and Lewy, the boys have asked us to collect donations of new toys to be given to Toys for Tots".

So, happy birthday to your little ones! My DD will be turning 7 this month as well (the 19th). But, we still haven't figured out what to do for a party. Ice skating sounds fun!

 

[AJKMOM]

Hey! Here's something I came up with off the top of my head...hope it helps!

We're having a party!
It's for all three of us.
Although birthdays are special,
we won't make a fuss.

If you choose to celebrate
our birthday with a gift,
we would like you know
in advance, so you aren't miffed.

Your gift will be given
to a less fortunate girl or boy
so that more kids in this world
can benefit from our birthday joy.

---Stephanie

If this truly was off the top of your head, you are a creative genius. I hope you are in Marketing, if not, you are wasting your talent.

 

[Pooh Crew]

Disneyfamilyinmi, thank you so very much! That is exactly what I was hoping for!!!

MariDisney, our children share a b'day!!! Isn't this a wonderful age?

For those who are thinking this situation is tacky, please understand that I **do** hate to mention gifts--honestly. I read Emily Post in junior high and know all the rules--I even have a Southern Belle Primer. However, my children want a b'day party with all their friends. I want to give them what they want without adding to the gluttony of receiving a ton of presents.

I am trying to do something good. Our family is so blessed and our children want for nothing. I understand celebrating the b'day child (or children, as the case may be), but getting presents for one child at a time is a completely different situation than getting presents for three. Even five guests apiece would be fifteen presents--and that's before the grandparents and parents gifts! (Not to mention that we also have another child who is just a year younger than the others, so many people bring not three presents, but FOUR!!!) So...flame away if you must, but please keep in mind that my heart is really in the right place.

Now, more cute poems that are unlikely to offend, please!!! My invitations must be in the mail tomorrow so that they will get them two weeks before the party.

 

[Pooh Crew]

One other thought...would it be less offensive to send out a normal invitation and then just mention something about toys for the needy instead of gifts when people call to RSVP? I believe I could say it with more tact than I could write it. Would that be better to do?

 

[MariDisney]

MariDisney, our children share a b'day!!! Isn't this a wonderful age?

YES!!! A Magical age for sure!!

 

[emma'smom]

I don't think I would be offended to receive an invitation that mentioned donations for presents. What really hate are the "no presents please" invitations...because then you never know whether or not you shoud take a "little something". What if you don't and others do...what if you do and others don't? At least, donations for toys for tots...a canned good...etc. That is clear.

My cousin, who was very into dogs at the time, requested cans of petfood for the humane society instead of gifts for her 12 year old slumber party.

 

[maxtomsmom]

I believe in being upfront and honest with people. I think it's really wonderful your children want to donate their toys/gifts. However, I do agree that it is tricky when it comes to wording. But consider this, if people really know you then they know your kids have a good heart. Maybe your kids could write the poem or maybe a small note under the RSVP line. It may sound less offensive and more sincere (not that they're not being sincere.) If my child received this type of invite, I would not be offended. I expect to give a gift to a b-day party. If giving makes your children happy, I would want to be a part of it type of idea. I think it's better to be honest, then to donate the gift without the orginal person knowing. It's different then exchanging a gift because you have it already or it doesn't fit.

You could do what a previous poster said and wait until they RSVP. You would miss someone as they might leave a message, but you're likely to get a few.

Sorry I couldn't be creative on such short notice. I think it's better to just simply be honest. Keep it simple. I don't think people would be so offended that they wouldn't let their child go because your children want to donate to people in need. Also, if you have a certain organization you know that you will be donating to, then you should write it on the invite. People like to know where their money is going.

 

[DisneyfamilyinMI]

If this truly was off the top of your head, you are a creative genius. I hope you are in Marketing, if not, you are wasting your talent.

I'm blushing! It really was off the top of my head...the original post was at 7:05, I logged on about 7:15, and posted my reply at 7:25. Unfortunately, I don't work in marketing, but it has definitely crossed my mind several times. We do live in a fairly rural area, though, which doesn't leave much opportunity to make my brain do it's thing.

ANYWHO, I think that waiting until they RSVP is also a good idea. You will know what will work best for your family.

---Stephanie

 

[MSSANDRA]

I think that kindness trumps etiquence and you are teaching your children a valuable lesson. Perhaps add in the envelope a small simple card that says that we are so blessed that our children have more than they can use. Please do not buy gifts for our children, however If you wish you may donate a toy for a seven year old to ??? charity in their name. Maek it a little more personal by mentioning the charity and asking for a toy your chidlren's age.

Ms Sandra

 

[Pooh Crew]

Well, for better or worse, the invitations are in the mail. Since we are going to be at WDW next week, the more we thought about just telling the RSVP's, the more we came to the conclusion that that would not work. I was able to speak with several of the moms today and tried to "spread the word" and also ask if any of them would be offended by what we were doing. All agreed that it was not a problem at all. I hate that I was not able to use the wonderful poem due to space limitations on the invitations, but in very (very) tiny print at the bottom, here's what I wrote:

"As you can imagine, with three birthdays on the same date, the presents from family are more than any child could play with. With the holiday season approaching, A, B, and C would like to donate any gifts received to the Main Street Fire Department's annual toy drive to benefit needy children. Obviously, your presence is present enough, but in lieu of a gift for the birthday child, please help us make a less fortunate child's holiday season a little brighter by bringing only an unwrapped toy for the toy drive."

Now I can breath a sigh of relief that it's done. The kids will enjoy their party and I will feel better knowing that their sacrifice will benefit another child. Tacky with a good heart! (hey, that should be a tag--lol) Thank you all for the suggestions and words of encouragement. You are wonderful!!!

Now I'm off to find a cookie cake for one, cupcakes for another, and a specific spiderman cake for the third. I'm tired already.

 

[MSSANDRA]

Well Done.

 

[CindyAnn]

Pooh Crew - Thinking of others is never tacky! You and your children are doing a wonderful thing. In our city it's quite common for my DD's friends (she's now 10) to request donations in lieu of gifts. Sometimes a donation envelope for Sick Children's Hospital in Toronto is included with the invitation, in fact, and presented as an option.

We were just at an (adult) party last weekend, and when I asked whether I could bring anything (over the phone) the host and hostess asked for food bank donations in lieu of a hostess gift. They had about 30 big bags of food to donate to the food bank the next day, and I know they felt wonderful about that.

Good for you!

 

[tjmw2727]

That's terrific of your kids to do this and I think your wording is great.

My dd attended a party two years ago in December and the birthday girl asked for dontations for toys for tots rather than gifts. I don't remember the wording but I found it wonderful and don't remember feeling put upon.

Honestly I don't remember many of the parties my dd's have attended but we all remember this one and this little girl. The kids enjoyed picking out toys for tots and will likely do it again for years to come on their own. We have since moved and are not in touch but this is a little girl and a lesson my dd's will remember.

Enjoy
TJ

 

[MSSANDRA]

Getting a little OT, but in the good nature of OP, let me share an idea that a circle of my church friends have done several times at Christmas. instead of exchanging gifts as we had done in the past, we decided to donate toys to the salvation army. We however wanted to have fun at the party so this is what we did. Each lady brought the ONE gift she always wanted as a child but never got. We wraped our gifts with no names and all brought them in brown paper bags so no one could tell what the other brought. Gifts were given out and the receiver opened her gift and tried to guess who had brought it. It lead to so many stories and laughs and tears!!! All the toys, many really nice things like easy bake ovens, were give to the salvation army toy drive. We did this another year and all brought the outfit we would have liked as a child. Agin so fun and new chirtmas outfits for about 20 needy children. There are lots of ways to have fun and still do a good deed.

ms sandra

 

[Pooh Crew]

Thanks so much for the encouragement!

OT to MsSandra, we did a similar thing at our office Christmas party one year. We drew names, then had to bring a toy that reminded you of the person whose name you had drawn. It was hilarious! We all had a blast and children benefited.

 

[MariDisney]

MsSandra...thank you for the wonderful idea!!! I think I'll propose that to a Church group of my own.